Are we the only family in the DMV who is priced out?

[Anonymous]

OP the affordability index is the worst it’s ever been. Not certain about much but am very much certain (based on this happening literally every single time in history) that something will give, which is either income or prices. Doubtful that companies will raise salaries 20-35% so prices will come down. It’ll be a slog, but affordability *will* go back to historical norms. Hold out as long as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

Priced out of what? You can comfortably afford a house but it's not what you want so stop complaining. You can buy a $600-700K house comfortably.

That doesn’t buy you anything someone making $300,000 with two kids would want to live in here.

We make that amount and live in a $400K 1000 square foot house. It's not about where you want, it's what you can afford at the time of purchase. Time to grow up.

Congratulations, I guess, that you don’t feel bitter that someone making your salary can only afford 1,000 sq ft. A lot of us realize it’s like this because corporations, rich people, foreigners, and foreign countries are buying land and houses for profit and pricing out Americans who earn their paychecks here. It’s frustrating and wrong.

It does suck if what you want is a big house. Then I would suggest moving to a cheaper city.

Also, I love the sense of entitlement that comes with making 300k as an HHI. In this area, that is two GS14/15 feds, or two middle managers of medium sized companies. (It is obviously harder to do as a single income, but the point stands.) The idea that you deserve some big house in the close in suburbs of a major city with tons of wealth shows a profound lack of perspective. You might want to see if you can work remotely and move somewhere cheaper.

Profound lack of perspective? Do you know how few families make $300,000 a year in this country?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

WTF kind of statement is this??? DH and I were paying $2500/month in rent 10 years ago with a baby in daycare and an HHI of $160K and somehow managed to buy a house then and our second house this year. $2500/month in rent is a great deal for a family of four.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

OP is being defensive but lol at the idea that 2500 is a lot to spend on rent for a family.

But ultimately OP - I agree with the PPs who say you need to shift expectations. We have your numbers and purchased a house within the past year in Silver Spring just outside the beltway (so, near the Forest Glen metro). Decent schools, nice communities, and well within your price range. I think you’re more interested in NOVA but just wanted to share a MoCo option in case you’re actually looking for solutions here (or in case it’s helpful for someone else).

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent, period. OP is forced into paying this now because she didn't take the opportunity to save more before kids.

You are very out of touch if you really think this. When was the last time you paid rent? 1975?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP would just frame her problem as "I can't afford to buy the houses I like most in the DMV, even with a sizable down payment and what feels like a pretty high HHI, and that is disappointing to me," I think she'd find a lot of support in the thread.

The problem is that OP is framing this like she feels entitled to a nicer house than what many of us with the same or worse finances have recently bought in the area. Like it feels like OP is affronted by the idea that she might have to compromise in any way, shape or form, as we did, because she thought that when she had this much money and this much income, she wouldn't have to compromise anymore.

Everyone compromises. The things they compromise on change, but everyone compromises. I try to be grateful I even have the choices I have.

+1 OP wants to hop straight from renting to a SFH that most people in the DMV could never afford. $300K HHI with a $300K down payment just isn't a lot here these days.

There is SO much. OP could buy a beautiful house that needs no work in Burke, Chantilly, Oak Hill, Bristow, Sterling, Reston. She has a ton of options - her husband's commute would be long, but it wouldn't be terrible. I commute from Chantilly to Arlington in 30 minutes, no tolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

Priced out of what? You can comfortably afford a house but it's not what you want so stop complaining. You can buy a $600-700K house comfortably.

That doesn’t buy you anything someone making $300,000 with two kids would want to live in here.

We make that amount and live in a $400K 1000 square foot house. It's not about where you want, it's what you can afford at the time of purchase. Time to grow up.

Congratulations, I guess, that you don’t feel bitter that someone making your salary can only afford 1,000 sq ft. A lot of us realize it’s like this because corporations, rich people, foreigners, and foreign countries are buying land and houses for profit and pricing out Americans who earn their paychecks here. It’s frustrating and wrong.

It does suck if what you want is a big house. Then I would suggest moving to a cheaper city.

Also, I love the sense of entitlement that comes with making 300k as an HHI. In this area, that is two GS14/15 feds, or two middle managers of medium sized companies. (It is obviously harder to do as a single income, but the point stands.) The idea that you deserve some big house in the close in suburbs of a major city with tons of wealth shows a profound lack of perspective. You might want to see if you can work remotely and move somewhere cheaper.

I also love the snobbishness that comes with living in this area and the looking down on federal employees and middle managers, as if they don’t deserve anything other than a sh!t shack last updated in 1972 because after all they are lowly feds or middle managers.

OP again- One senior manager and a teacher, actually. We definitely feel like we don't belong within a two hour drive of DC on a regular basis due to attitudes like this. DC is for white shoed attorneys, lobbyists, and people who own sports teams.

I posted earlier about moving further West in Virginia and having very similar stats to you. We have similar professions, too, LOL! Seriously, move west - you can buy a lovely updated home in a great school pyramid west of the Beltway for $800K-$1 Million. Look in the Chantilly and Oakton HS pyramids in Fairfax County.

[Anonymous]

So many of these posts, and yet for some reason, no MC/UMC people seem willing to prioritize saving for home equity/a large down payment instead of for retirement accounts.

Imagine if all you people had stopped contributions to 401(k)s, TSPs, Roth IRAs and brokerage accounts three years ago — you might have an additional $300K for a down payment, but of course you couldn’t do that because it’s “dumb.” And of course, today now you still can’t do that because stocks are “on sale.”

So we’ll keep on being treated to endless posts from people making $300K a year about how they can’t afford a house. We live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country – no one thought that maybe they might have to sacrifice *temporarily* other savings goals in order to afford the nice housing they desire?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many of these posts, and yet for some reason, no MC/UMC people seem willing to prioritize saving for home equity/a large down payment instead of for retirement accounts.

Imagine if all you people had stopped contributions to 401(k)s, TSPs, Roth IRAs and brokerage accounts three years ago — you might have an additional $300K for a down payment, but of course you couldn’t do that because it’s “dumb.” And of course, today now you still can’t do that because stocks are “on sale.”

So we’ll keep on being treated to endless posts from people making $300K a year about how they can’t afford a house. We live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country – no one thought that maybe they might have to sacrifice *temporarily* other savings goals in order to afford the nice housing they desire?

Do you have any idea how much money I made in the stock market between 2020 and today??? Oh yeah, and I DID buy a $1.1 million house this year with a $275K income. Some of us just weren’t READY to buy a house in the past three years. We couldn’t just drop everything and start house hunting. Many of us were working in person at demanding jobs with kids. Not everyone is in your situation you psychotic freak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

Priced out of what? You can comfortably afford a house but it's not what you want so stop complaining. You can buy a $600-700K house comfortably.

That doesn’t buy you anything someone making $300,000 with two kids would want to live in here.

We make that amount and live in a $400K 1000 square foot house. It's not about where you want, it's what you can afford at the time of purchase. Time to grow up.

Congratulations, I guess, that you don’t feel bitter that someone making your salary can only afford 1,000 sq ft. A lot of us realize it’s like this because corporations, rich people, foreigners, and foreign countries are buying land and houses for profit and pricing out Americans who earn their paychecks here. It’s frustrating and wrong.

It does suck if what you want is a big house. Then I would suggest moving to a cheaper city.

Also, I love the sense of entitlement that comes with making 300k as an HHI. In this area, that is two GS14/15 feds, or two middle managers of medium sized companies. (It is obviously harder to do as a single income, but the point stands.) The idea that you deserve some big house in the close in suburbs of a major city with tons of wealth shows a profound lack of perspective. You might want to see if you can work remotely and move somewhere cheaper.

Profound lack of perspective? Do you know how few families make $300,000 a year in this country?

Don’t you love how on DCUM people with 300k incomes get told all the time how it’s not that much money, they don’t deserve a nice home close to work, they are lowly middle managers, etc. But then also get reamed if they call themselves middle class.

My family makes around that level of income and I think of us as fairly UMC but then plenty of posters rag as if this is working class and how dare we want a kitchen updated within the past decade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these posts, and yet for some reason, no MC/UMC people seem willing to prioritize saving for home equity/a large down payment instead of for retirement accounts.

Imagine if all you people had stopped contributions to 401(k)s, TSPs, Roth IRAs and brokerage accounts three years ago — you might have an additional $300K for a down payment, but of course you couldn’t do that because it’s “dumb.” And of course, today now you still can’t do that because stocks are “on sale.”

So we’ll keep on being treated to endless posts from people making $300K a year about how they can’t afford a house. We live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country – no one thought that maybe they might have to sacrifice *temporarily* other savings goals in order to afford the nice housing they desire?

Do you have any idea how much money I made in the stock market between 2020 and today??? Oh yeah, and I DID buy a $1.1 million house this year with a $275K income. Some of us just weren’t READY to buy a house in the past three years. We couldn’t just drop everything and start house hunting. Many of us were working in person at demanding jobs with kids. Not everyone is in your situation you psychotic freak.

Lol, you sound like a very sane and stable person. If you were able to buy a house without doing that, great; my suggestion wasn’t for you. I thought that was a given, but maybe I should’ve clarified for the denser among the group.

However, since we’re 13 pages into this thread, there are clearly others who should be doing something differently. A $1 million house is not so daunting if you save $500,000 for a down payment – but of course, that requires cutting back saving in other areas. And many UMC won’t consider it, though that’s the obvious solution – instead, like you, they respond with unhinged, shaking anger at the very suggestion.

[Anonymous]

I stopped reading at HHI over 300k.


You can absolutely afford a home in Montgomery or Fairfax County.

There are people buying SFHs with less than half of your HHI

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of these posts, and yet for some reason, no MC/UMC people seem willing to prioritize saving for home equity/a large down payment instead of for retirement accounts.

Imagine if all you people had stopped contributions to 401(k)s, TSPs, Roth IRAs and brokerage accounts three years ago — you might have an additional $300K for a down payment, but of course you couldn’t do that because it’s “dumb.” And of course, today now you still can’t do that because stocks are “on sale.”

So we’ll keep on being treated to endless posts from people making $300K a year about how they can’t afford a house. We live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country – no one thought that maybe they might have to sacrifice *temporarily* other savings goals in order to afford the nice housing they desire?

Do you have any idea how much money I made in the stock market between 2020 and today??? Oh yeah, and I DID buy a $1.1 million house this year with a $275K income. Some of us just weren’t READY to buy a house in the past three years. We couldn’t just drop everything and start house hunting. Many of us were working in person at demanding jobs with kids. Not everyone is in your situation you psychotic freak.

Lol, you sound like a very sane and stable person. If you were able to buy a house without doing that, great; my suggestion wasn’t for you. I thought that was a given, but maybe I should’ve clarified for the denser among the group.

However, since we’re 13 pages into this thread, there are clearly others who should be doing something differently. A $1 million house is not so daunting if you save $500,000 for a down payment – but of course, that requires cutting back saving in other areas. And many UMC won’t consider it, though that’s the obvious solution – instead, like you, they respond with unhinged, shaking anger at the very suggestion.

Yes, let me just save $500k post tax. Why didn’t I think of that?

[Anonymous]

Have you looked at Prince Georges County? I attended public schools there. They were fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

Priced out of what? You can comfortably afford a house but it's not what you want so stop complaining. You can buy a $600-700K house comfortably.

That doesn’t buy you anything someone making $300,000 with two kids would want to live in here.

We make that amount and live in a $400K 1000 square foot house. It's not about where you want, it's what you can afford at the time of purchase. Time to grow up.

Congratulations, I guess, that you don’t feel bitter that someone making your salary can only afford 1,000 sq ft. A lot of us realize it’s like this because corporations, rich people, foreigners, and foreign countries are buying land and houses for profit and pricing out Americans who earn their paychecks here. It’s frustrating and wrong.

It does suck if what you want is a big house. Then I would suggest moving to a cheaper city.

Also, I love the sense of entitlement that comes with making 300k as an HHI. In this area, that is two GS14/15 feds, or two middle managers of medium sized companies. (It is obviously harder to do as a single income, but the point stands.) The idea that you deserve some big house in the close in suburbs of a major city with tons of wealth shows a profound lack of perspective. You might want to see if you can work remotely and move somewhere cheaper.

Profound lack of perspective? Do you know how few families make $300,000 a year in this country?

Yes, of course, but those people do not live in big, updated, beautiful houses close to a major, expensive city. The truth of the matter is that OP, and apparently lots of other people here, think that making middle manager money entitles them not just to housing in the DC area, but big, updated, beautiful houses in close-in suburbs with the top schools. In that context, 300k/yr is not a lot of money.

If OP were willing to deign to live with the other MC people in the area, she could live in Silver Spring, Burke, Fairfax, some of Takoma Park, Olney, Leesburg, Reston, Chantilly, Ashburn, Sterling, all of PG county, etc etc. And yes, OP might have to deal with a small kitchen, ugly bathrooms, linoleum countertops (gasp!), schools that have poor kids in them.... Cry me a river.

[Anonymous]

I recall in PreCana when I got engaged the people giving instructions to the newly engaged couples what to expect had words of wisdom. Three married couples presented, one married 3 years, 20 years and 50 years!!

All agreed newly engaged couples need to start saving asap for a house, then after married save, save and save and buy house before kid born. Once kids born hard to save and little time for a fixer upper or home repairs.

I listened and bought a smaller fixer upper in a second tier neighborhood when my wife was 3 months pregnant with first. We had time to close, 3 months to do painting, get nursery set up. Being young still family willing to help with painting etc. (not an option now)

Home prices kept shooting up. My wife left work for good when baby six months old. Why we had the house locked in forever. My town schools were great. But second tier as HS not as good.

But given rising home prices if I waited dream area with home prices rapidly rising then paying two commutes and child care how does waiting work?

Thing if you bought a fixer upper in silver spring near metro or even a tiny tiny run down shack inBethesda on a busy street in 2015. You have it almost paid off by now, paying no rent and have close to one million equity between down payment, home appreciation and paying down mortgage. Yea it would be a sucky house for 10 years so be it. But you would not be 45, homeless with two kids at mercy of landlord