NOT redshirting an August birthday

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much? Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.

Let me dumb it down for you. If you red shirt your kid, people are absolutely judging you and them and talking behind your back. Some of that may bleed into how the other kids treat your kid at school. But probably no one is going to say anything to you as the parent, we will just be thinking it. But this is an anonymous forum so people can say what they really think.

Just because you are judgemental doesn’t mean everyone is. I mean an immature redshirted late august kid will be only a few months older than the rest of the fall birthday kids - it won’t be noticiable and most parents are too stressed with their own lives to care not to mention judge. It is way better to redshirt than to be forced to hold a kid back when they are older that is much more notícible and yes kids may judge.

Yes, its noticed because they are immature for their age and not in an age appropriate grade, so its very noticeable.

That makes no sense. If they are redshirted then it doesn’t matter if they were immature for their age they are now mature enough by starting with a younger cohort. That’s the whole point of redshirting. Sending them with a cohort that they blend in well with Versus one they are too immature for. I can tell you it’s the kids who skip grades who are noticibly immature. I went to high school with some 12 year olds and being super smart does not make one socially mature. (Im a mid August birthday btw and no issues with being one of the youngest in my class.)

A lot going on in this comment.

1. A 12 year old in high school is a different deal. That's a kid who is not even through puberty going to school with kids who are mostly done with puberty. Huge difference, of course they seemed immature. It's not the subject of the thread.

2. Redshirting does not help kids mature. It might help place a child in a more appropriate cohort for their maturity level, but since we're talking entirely about summer birthdays, they are likely to be an outlier no matter what. Either on the mature side for their grade or on the immature side for their grade. Just based on age of course. Redshirting doesn't "solve" this. It's just the reality of being a summer birthday.

3. The point PPs are trying to make is that redshirting may not resolve your issue if you are just worried about your kid being an outlier. In fact, it might make them more of an outlier, because if they are visibly older than the rest of their class, that might call attention to itself.

4. Also, maturity doesn't track perfectly with the MONTH a kid was born, and the older kids get, the less it tracks. Plenty of kids with summer birthdays are as mature if not more so than kids with birthdays during the school year.

5. Which is why many people are suggesting that redshirting for the hell of it is a mistake, and that peopel should only redshirt if there is a delay of some kind which an extra year of PK would help with, including a social maturity delay.

I think there is only one PP making the same tired argument over and over again without success. If it’s such a mistake surely you have some data to back it up, lets see it. Because I don’t know a single person who regrets it. No matter how many different ways people try to make the ineffectual arguments with no facts.

We regretted it. Our child skipped a grade to make up for it.

Ok. My brother started kindergarten at 4 and school was always hard for him. My mother regretted not holding him back. Having to repeat a grade is devastating for a kid unlike skipping a grade. At least if you think a mistake is made it's an easier fix. I would err on the side of redshirting in that case.

I have an older child and they agree it was best we send them. Holding back would not make school easier if school doesn't come easy to them.

Why would i take your word for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much? Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.

Let me dumb it down for you. If you red shirt your kid, people are absolutely judging you and them and talking behind your back. Some of that may bleed into how the other kids treat your kid at school. But probably no one is going to say anything to you as the parent, we will just be thinking it. But this is an anonymous forum so people can say what they really think.

Just because you are judgemental doesn’t mean everyone is. I mean an immature redshirted late august kid will be only a few months older than the rest of the fall birthday kids - it won’t be noticiable and most parents are too stressed with their own lives to care not to mention judge. It is way better to redshirt than to be forced to hold a kid back when they are older that is much more notícible and yes kids may judge.

Yes, its noticed because they are immature for their age and not in an age appropriate grade, so its very noticeable.

That makes no sense. If they are redshirted then it doesn’t matter if they were immature for their age they are now mature enough by starting with a younger cohort. That’s the whole point of redshirting. Sending them with a cohort that they blend in well with Versus one they are too immature for. I can tell you it’s the kids who skip grades who are noticibly immature. I went to high school with some 12 year olds and being super smart does not make one socially mature. (Im a mid August birthday btw and no issues with being one of the youngest in my class.)

A lot going on in this comment.

1. A 12 year old in high school is a different deal. That's a kid who is not even through puberty going to school with kids who are mostly done with puberty. Huge difference, of course they seemed immature. It's not the subject of the thread.

2. Redshirting does not help kids mature. It might help place a child in a more appropriate cohort for their maturity level, but since we're talking entirely about summer birthdays, they are likely to be an outlier no matter what. Either on the mature side for their grade or on the immature side for their grade. Just based on age of course. Redshirting doesn't "solve" this. It's just the reality of being a summer birthday.

3. The point PPs are trying to make is that redshirting may not resolve your issue if you are just worried about your kid being an outlier. In fact, it might make them more of an outlier, because if they are visibly older than the rest of their class, that might call attention to itself.

4. Also, maturity doesn't track perfectly with the MONTH a kid was born, and the older kids get, the less it tracks. Plenty of kids with summer birthdays are as mature if not more so than kids with birthdays during the school year.

5. Which is why many people are suggesting that redshirting for the hell of it is a mistake, and that peopel should only redshirt if there is a delay of some kind which an extra year of PK would help with, including a social maturity delay.

I think there is only one PP making the same tired argument over and over again without success. If it’s such a mistake surely you have some data to back it up, lets see it. Because I don’t know a single person who regrets it. No matter how many different ways people try to make the ineffectual arguments with no facts.

We regretted it. Our child skipped a grade to make up for it.

Ok. My brother started kindergarten at 4 and school was always hard for him. My mother regretted not holding him back. Having to repeat a grade is devastating for a kid unlike skipping a grade. At least if you think a mistake is made it's an easier fix. I would err on the side of redshirting in that case.

I have an older child and they agree it was best we send them. Holding back would not make school easier if school doesn't come easy to them.

Why would i take your word for it?

Use common sense.

School his so dumbed down now, even more so in some privates. So, in a private, holding back makes even less sense when kids don't start Algebra till 8-9th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much? Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.

Let me dumb it down for you. If you red shirt your kid, people are absolutely judging you and them and talking behind your back. Some of that may bleed into how the other kids treat your kid at school. But probably no one is going to say anything to you as the parent, we will just be thinking it. But this is an anonymous forum so people can say what they really think.

Just because you are judgemental doesn’t mean everyone is. I mean an immature redshirted late august kid will be only a few months older than the rest of the fall birthday kids - it won’t be noticiable and most parents are too stressed with their own lives to care not to mention judge. It is way better to redshirt than to be forced to hold a kid back when they are older that is much more notícible and yes kids may judge.

Yes, its noticed because they are immature for their age and not in an age appropriate grade, so its very noticeable.

That makes no sense. If they are redshirted then it doesn’t matter if they were immature for their age they are now mature enough by starting with a younger cohort. That’s the whole point of redshirting. Sending them with a cohort that they blend in well with Versus one they are too immature for. I can tell you it’s the kids who skip grades who are noticibly immature. I went to high school with some 12 year olds and being super smart does not make one socially mature. (Im a mid August birthday btw and no issues with being one of the youngest in my class.)

A lot going on in this comment.

1. A 12 year old in high school is a different deal. That's a kid who is not even through puberty going to school with kids who are mostly done with puberty. Huge difference, of course they seemed immature. It's not the subject of the thread.

2. Redshirting does not help kids mature. It might help place a child in a more appropriate cohort for their maturity level, but since we're talking entirely about summer birthdays, they are likely to be an outlier no matter what. Either on the mature side for their grade or on the immature side for their grade. Just based on age of course. Redshirting doesn't "solve" this. It's just the reality of being a summer birthday.

3. The point PPs are trying to make is that redshirting may not resolve your issue if you are just worried about your kid being an outlier. In fact, it might make them more of an outlier, because if they are visibly older than the rest of their class, that might call attention to itself.

4. Also, maturity doesn't track perfectly with the MONTH a kid was born, and the older kids get, the less it tracks. Plenty of kids with summer birthdays are as mature if not more so than kids with birthdays during the school year.

5. Which is why many people are suggesting that redshirting for the hell of it is a mistake, and that peopel should only redshirt if there is a delay of some kind which an extra year of PK would help with, including a social maturity delay.

I think there is only one PP making the same tired argument over and over again without success. If it’s such a mistake surely you have some data to back it up, lets see it. Because I don’t know a single person who regrets it. No matter how many different ways people try to make the ineffectual arguments with no facts.

We regretted it. Our child skipped a grade to make up for it.

Ok. My brother started kindergarten at 4 and school was always hard for him. My mother regretted not holding him back. Having to repeat a grade is devastating for a kid unlike skipping a grade. At least if you think a mistake is made it's an easier fix. I would err on the side of redshirting in that case.

I have an older child and they agree it was best we send them. Holding back would not make school easier if school doesn't come easy to them.

Why would i take your word for it?

Use common sense.

School his so dumbed down now, even more so in some privates. So, in a private, holding back makes even less sense when kids don't start Algebra till 8-9th grade.

Yeah, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Math isn’t everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much? Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.

Let me dumb it down for you. If you red shirt your kid, people are absolutely judging you and them and talking behind your back. Some of that may bleed into how the other kids treat your kid at school. But probably no one is going to say anything to you as the parent, we will just be thinking it. But this is an anonymous forum so people can say what they really think.

Just because you are judgemental doesn’t mean everyone is. I mean an immature redshirted late august kid will be only a few months older than the rest of the fall birthday kids - it won’t be noticiable and most parents are too stressed with their own lives to care not to mention judge. It is way better to redshirt than to be forced to hold a kid back when they are older that is much more notícible and yes kids may judge.

Yes, its noticed because they are immature for their age and not in an age appropriate grade, so its very noticeable.

That makes no sense. If they are redshirted then it doesn’t matter if they were immature for their age they are now mature enough by starting with a younger cohort. That’s the whole point of redshirting. Sending them with a cohort that they blend in well with Versus one they are too immature for. I can tell you it’s the kids who skip grades who are noticibly immature. I went to high school with some 12 year olds and being super smart does not make one socially mature. (Im a mid August birthday btw and no issues with being one of the youngest in my class.)

A lot going on in this comment.

1. A 12 year old in high school is a different deal. That's a kid who is not even through puberty going to school with kids who are mostly done with puberty. Huge difference, of course they seemed immature. It's not the subject of the thread.

2. Redshirting does not help kids mature. It might help place a child in a more appropriate cohort for their maturity level, but since we're talking entirely about summer birthdays, they are likely to be an outlier no matter what. Either on the mature side for their grade or on the immature side for their grade. Just based on age of course. Redshirting doesn't "solve" this. It's just the reality of being a summer birthday.

3. The point PPs are trying to make is that redshirting may not resolve your issue if you are just worried about your kid being an outlier. In fact, it might make them more of an outlier, because if they are visibly older than the rest of their class, that might call attention to itself.

4. Also, maturity doesn't track perfectly with the MONTH a kid was born, and the older kids get, the less it tracks. Plenty of kids with summer birthdays are as mature if not more so than kids with birthdays during the school year.

5. Which is why many people are suggesting that redshirting for the hell of it is a mistake, and that peopel should only redshirt if there is a delay of some kind which an extra year of PK would help with, including a social maturity delay.

I think there is only one PP making the same tired argument over and over again without success. If it’s such a mistake surely you have some data to back it up, lets see it. Because I don’t know a single person who regrets it. No matter how many different ways people try to make the ineffectual arguments with no facts.

We regretted it. Our child skipped a grade to make up for it.

Ok. My brother started kindergarten at 4 and school was always hard for him. My mother regretted not holding him back. Having to repeat a grade is devastating for a kid unlike skipping a grade. At least if you think a mistake is made it's an easier fix. I would err on the side of redshirting in that case.

I have an older child and they agree it was best we send them. Holding back would not make school easier if school doesn't come easy to them.

Why would i take your word for it?

Use common sense.

School his so dumbed down now, even more so in some privates. So, in a private, holding back makes even less sense when kids don't start Algebra till 8-9th grade.

Yeah, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Math isn’t everything.

Yes, I do. Math is important depending on the career field. You have no experience with a child like this.

[Anonymous]

We greenshirted, DD is now senior in top 1% of class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much? Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.

Let me dumb it down for you. If you red shirt your kid, people are absolutely judging you and them and talking behind your back. Some of that may bleed into how the other kids treat your kid at school. But probably no one is going to say anything to you as the parent, we will just be thinking it. But this is an anonymous forum so people can say what they really think.

Just because you are judgemental doesn’t mean everyone is. I mean an immature redshirted late august kid will be only a few months older than the rest of the fall birthday kids - it won’t be noticiable and most parents are too stressed with their own lives to care not to mention judge. It is way better to redshirt than to be forced to hold a kid back when they are older that is much more notícible and yes kids may judge.

Yes, its noticed because they are immature for their age and not in an age appropriate grade, so its very noticeable.

That makes no sense. If they are redshirted then it doesn’t matter if they were immature for their age they are now mature enough by starting with a younger cohort. That’s the whole point of redshirting. Sending them with a cohort that they blend in well with Versus one they are too immature for. I can tell you it’s the kids who skip grades who are noticibly immature. I went to high school with some 12 year olds and being super smart does not make one socially mature. (Im a mid August birthday btw and no issues with being one of the youngest in my class.)

A lot going on in this comment.

1. A 12 year old in high school is a different deal. That's a kid who is not even through puberty going to school with kids who are mostly done with puberty. Huge difference, of course they seemed immature. It's not the subject of the thread.

2. Redshirting does not help kids mature. It might help place a child in a more appropriate cohort for their maturity level, but since we're talking entirely about summer birthdays, they are likely to be an outlier no matter what. Either on the mature side for their grade or on the immature side for their grade. Just based on age of course. Redshirting doesn't "solve" this. It's just the reality of being a summer birthday.

3. The point PPs are trying to make is that redshirting may not resolve your issue if you are just worried about your kid being an outlier. In fact, it might make them more of an outlier, because if they are visibly older than the rest of their class, that might call attention to itself.

4. Also, maturity doesn't track perfectly with the MONTH a kid was born, and the older kids get, the less it tracks. Plenty of kids with summer birthdays are as mature if not more so than kids with birthdays during the school year.

5. Which is why many people are suggesting that redshirting for the hell of it is a mistake, and that peopel should only redshirt if there is a delay of some kind which an extra year of PK would help with, including a social maturity delay.

I think there is only one PP making the same tired argument over and over again without success. If it’s such a mistake surely you have some data to back it up, lets see it. Because I don’t know a single person who regrets it. No matter how many different ways people try to make the ineffectual arguments with no facts.

We regretted it. Our child skipped a grade to make up for it.

Ok. My brother started kindergarten at 4 and school was always hard for him. My mother regretted not holding him back. Having to repeat a grade is devastating for a kid unlike skipping a grade. At least if you think a mistake is made it's an easier fix. I would err on the side of redshirting in that case.

I have an older child and they agree it was best we send them. Holding back would not make school easier if school doesn't come easy to them.

Why would i take your word for it?

Use common sense.

School his so dumbed down now, even more so in some privates. So, in a private, holding back makes even less sense when kids don't start Algebra till 8-9th grade.

Yeah, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Math isn’t everything.

Yes, I do. Math is important depending on the career field. You have no experience with a child like this.

What does algebra have to do with anything? They all get to 8th grade eventually, they are all expected to complete K-12, no shortcuts. All this is about is starting kindergarten at 4 or a very young 5 or an older 5 going on 6. All else equal, I'd rather not send a 4 year old off to kindergarten today and a 17 year old off to college in the future. But you do you. For people on the fence I'd always advise redshirting since it's so much harder to fix that mistake once you've decided to go on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much? Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.

Let me dumb it down for you. If you red shirt your kid, people are absolutely judging you and them and talking behind your back. Some of that may bleed into how the other kids treat your kid at school. But probably no one is going to say anything to you as the parent, we will just be thinking it. But this is an anonymous forum so people can say what they really think.

Just because you are judgemental doesn’t mean everyone is. I mean an immature redshirted late august kid will be only a few months older than the rest of the fall birthday kids - it won’t be noticiable and most parents are too stressed with their own lives to care not to mention judge. It is way better to redshirt than to be forced to hold a kid back when they are older that is much more notícible and yes kids may judge.

Yes, its noticed because they are immature for their age and not in an age appropriate grade, so its very noticeable.

That makes no sense. If they are redshirted then it doesn’t matter if they were immature for their age they are now mature enough by starting with a younger cohort. That’s the whole point of redshirting. Sending them with a cohort that they blend in well with Versus one they are too immature for. I can tell you it’s the kids who skip grades who are noticibly immature. I went to high school with some 12 year olds and being super smart does not make one socially mature. (Im a mid August birthday btw and no issues with being one of the youngest in my class.)

A lot going on in this comment.

1. A 12 year old in high school is a different deal. That's a kid who is not even through puberty going to school with kids who are mostly done with puberty. Huge difference, of course they seemed immature. It's not the subject of the thread.

2. Redshirting does not help kids mature. It might help place a child in a more appropriate cohort for their maturity level, but since we're talking entirely about summer birthdays, they are likely to be an outlier no matter what. Either on the mature side for their grade or on the immature side for their grade. Just based on age of course. Redshirting doesn't "solve" this. It's just the reality of being a summer birthday.

3. The point PPs are trying to make is that redshirting may not resolve your issue if you are just worried about your kid being an outlier. In fact, it might make them more of an outlier, because if they are visibly older than the rest of their class, that might call attention to itself.

4. Also, maturity doesn't track perfectly with the MONTH a kid was born, and the older kids get, the less it tracks. Plenty of kids with summer birthdays are as mature if not more so than kids with birthdays during the school year.

5. Which is why many people are suggesting that redshirting for the hell of it is a mistake, and that peopel should only redshirt if there is a delay of some kind which an extra year of PK would help with, including a social maturity delay.

I think there is only one PP making the same tired argument over and over again without success. If it’s such a mistake surely you have some data to back it up, lets see it. Because I don’t know a single person who regrets it. No matter how many different ways people try to make the ineffectual arguments with no facts.

We regretted it. Our child skipped a grade to make up for it.

Ok. My brother started kindergarten at 4 and school was always hard for him. My mother regretted not holding him back. Having to repeat a grade is devastating for a kid unlike skipping a grade. At least if you think a mistake is made it's an easier fix. I would err on the side of redshirting in that case.

I have an older child and they agree it was best we send them. Holding back would not make school easier if school doesn't come easy to them.

Why would i take your word for it?

Use common sense.

School his so dumbed down now, even more so in some privates. So, in a private, holding back makes even less sense when kids don't start Algebra till 8-9th grade.

Yeah, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Math isn’t everything.

Yes, I do. Math is important depending on the career field. You have no experience with a child like this.

What does algebra have to do with anything? They all get to 8th grade eventually, they are all expected to complete K-12, no shortcuts. All this is about is starting kindergarten at 4 or a very young 5 or an older 5 going on 6. All else equal, I'd rather not send a 4 year old off to kindergarten today and a 17 year old off to college in the future. But you do you. For people on the fence I'd always advise redshirting since it's so much harder to fix that mistake once you've decided to go on time.

Kids turn 18 within a few weeks of college so holding back based off that makes no sense. Public starts in 6/7/8 Algebra so if you have a smart kid, you are doing them a disservice by dumbing down the curriculum. My young for the grade started Algebra in 6th.

We held back and it was a huge mistake. It's much harder to bump up a grade than hold back but they should be with age-appropriate peers and holding back does not give them that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much? Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.

Let me dumb it down for you. If you red shirt your kid, people are absolutely judging you and them and talking behind your back. Some of that may bleed into how the other kids treat your kid at school. But probably no one is going to say anything to you as the parent, we will just be thinking it. But this is an anonymous forum so people can say what they really think.

Just because you are judgemental doesn’t mean everyone is. I mean an immature redshirted late august kid will be only a few months older than the rest of the fall birthday kids - it won’t be noticiable and most parents are too stressed with their own lives to care not to mention judge. It is way better to redshirt than to be forced to hold a kid back when they are older that is much more notícible and yes kids may judge.

Yes, its noticed because they are immature for their age and not in an age appropriate grade, so its very noticeable.

That makes no sense. If they are redshirted then it doesn’t matter if they were immature for their age they are now mature enough by starting with a younger cohort. That’s the whole point of redshirting. Sending them with a cohort that they blend in well with Versus one they are too immature for. I can tell you it’s the kids who skip grades who are noticibly immature. I went to high school with some 12 year olds and being super smart does not make one socially mature. (Im a mid August birthday btw and no issues with being one of the youngest in my class.)

A lot going on in this comment.

1. A 12 year old in high school is a different deal. That's a kid who is not even through puberty going to school with kids who are mostly done with puberty. Huge difference, of course they seemed immature. It's not the subject of the thread.

2. Redshirting does not help kids mature. It might help place a child in a more appropriate cohort for their maturity level, but since we're talking entirely about summer birthdays, they are likely to be an outlier no matter what. Either on the mature side for their grade or on the immature side for their grade. Just based on age of course. Redshirting doesn't "solve" this. It's just the reality of being a summer birthday.

3. The point PPs are trying to make is that redshirting may not resolve your issue if you are just worried about your kid being an outlier. In fact, it might make them more of an outlier, because if they are visibly older than the rest of their class, that might call attention to itself.

4. Also, maturity doesn't track perfectly with the MONTH a kid was born, and the older kids get, the less it tracks. Plenty of kids with summer birthdays are as mature if not more so than kids with birthdays during the school year.

5. Which is why many people are suggesting that redshirting for the hell of it is a mistake, and that peopel should only redshirt if there is a delay of some kind which an extra year of PK would help with, including a social maturity delay.

I think there is only one PP making the same tired argument over and over again without success. If it’s such a mistake surely you have some data to back it up, lets see it. Because I don’t know a single person who regrets it. No matter how many different ways people try to make the ineffectual arguments with no facts.

We regretted it. Our child skipped a grade to make up for it.

Ok. My brother started kindergarten at 4 and school was always hard for him. My mother regretted not holding him back. Having to repeat a grade is devastating for a kid unlike skipping a grade. At least if you think a mistake is made it's an easier fix. I would err on the side of redshirting in that case.

I have an older child and they agree it was best we send them. Holding back would not make school easier if school doesn't come easy to them.

Why would i take your word for it?

Use common sense.

School his so dumbed down now, even more so in some privates. So, in a private, holding back makes even less sense when kids don't start Algebra till 8-9th grade.

Yeah, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Math isn’t everything.

Yes, I do. Math is important depending on the career field. You have no experience with a child like this.

What does algebra have to do with anything? They all get to 8th grade eventually, they are all expected to complete K-12, no shortcuts. All this is about is starting kindergarten at 4 or a very young 5 or an older 5 going on 6. All else equal, I'd rather not send a 4 year old off to kindergarten today and a 17 year old off to college in the future. But you do you. For people on the fence I'd always advise redshirting since it's so much harder to fix that mistake once you've decided to go on time.

Kids turn 18 within a few weeks of college so holding back based off that makes no sense. Public starts in 6/7/8 Algebra so if you have a smart kid, you are doing them a disservice by dumbing down the curriculum. My young for the grade started Algebra in 6th.

We held back and it was a huge mistake. It's much harder to bump up a grade than hold back but they should be with age-appropriate peers and holding back does not give them that.

You're an anomaly. It doesn't change the advice I would give anyone. I don't know anyone who regrets holding back. You can advise people to go forward and people can make the decision that works for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dumbing kids down, letting a kid repeat a year with younger kids and not be challenged, in the name of ensuring you have a boy who is the biggest and oldest in a class because he’s like a full year older in some cases. For what reason? Being able to push the kids who go on time off the slide? Or be the first picked for teams in gym class? Some of the kids in my son’s 1st grade and daughter’s 3rd grade classes were spring kids held back and there are more than a year older than my kids who I sent on time.

This. To be clear, I am not against redshirting when it is merited. You can absolutely assess kindergarten readiness, and there are kids who are not ready, either cognitively or socio-emotionally. I think another year of preschool for those kids, to work on those skills and set them up for success (and by success, I mean the ability to meet grade-level goals, not the ability to dominate over the entire class) is a great idea. I don't even think it has to be limited to

But it's selfish to hold back a kid who is otherwise ready just because of his late birthday or size. In every class, some kids will be younger. Some kids will be smaller. It's part of the normal variation and it's fine. When you redshirt for these reasons, what you are really saying is "I want someone else's kid to be the youngest, I want someone else's kid to be the smallest." Okay, but where does that end? Let your kid go to school with the children his own age, and have some faith in him that he will figure it out.

+1. I totally agree. Unless you have a child with developmental and academic delays, let them go to school on time. Let them learn new content, be challenged, gain new skills. I think some parents really infantilize their kids, and that’s more about them not wanting to let kids grow up than the kid being ready to go to actual school. My cousin was red shirted a few years ago because his parents thought it was the right thing because they had heard people discussing it so much, and is now the oldest in his third grade classroom. He told my sister that some kids tease him that he is “dumb” because he was held back and is so much older than pretty much everyone. He is doing fine academically but she wishes she had just sent him on time because this side of the social stuff wasn’t even on her mind and now it has become a thing for my nephew.

I think this is absolutely a thing - I remember a few kids when I was younger that were old for their grade and there were a lot of rumors they were "held back" for being dumb basically. People think they're giving their kids an advantage but it's totally artificial and everyone knows it, especially their peers. The "smartest kid in their class" that stands a head taller than the rest of them would only be average if they were actually in a class with their same aged peers. I don't get why parents do this, but just know everyone is judging you.

Spoken like someone with a December birthday. Newsflash: Summer birthdays will either be the youngest or the oldest. Your bully of a child will pick on someone for being the youngest too. I’d prefer oldest, obviously some people here prefer youngest. YMMV.

No one in my house has a December birthday and my child isn’t a bully. Project much?

Spoken like someone with a bully of a child.

Look, I am sorry that the truth hurts. Neither I nor anyone in my family would bully someone, but I definitely saw it happen and what I posted reflects what most people think. We all know that you had to give your kid an advantage by making them a year older than their classmates. All of a sudden, an average student seems super smart because they are a year ahead in development. You think you found a short cut, but you didn't.

Your truth isn't everybody's truth. I have never seen what you're talking about. If you think people are short changing their kids, why on earth do you care so much? Is it an advantage or not because you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Make up your mind and then maybe your point will make sense.

Let me dumb it down for you. If you red shirt your kid, people are absolutely judging you and them and talking behind your back. Some of that may bleed into how the other kids treat your kid at school. But probably no one is going to say anything to you as the parent, we will just be thinking it. But this is an anonymous forum so people can say what they really think.

Just because you are judgemental doesn’t mean everyone is. I mean an immature redshirted late august kid will be only a few months older than the rest of the fall birthday kids - it won’t be noticiable and most parents are too stressed with their own lives to care not to mention judge. It is way better to redshirt than to be forced to hold a kid back when they are older that is much more notícible and yes kids may judge.

Yes, its noticed because they are immature for their age and not in an age appropriate grade, so its very noticeable.

That makes no sense. If they are redshirted then it doesn’t matter if they were immature for their age they are now mature enough by starting with a younger cohort. That’s the whole point of redshirting. Sending them with a cohort that they blend in well with Versus one they are too immature for. I can tell you it’s the kids who skip grades who are noticibly immature. I went to high school with some 12 year olds and being super smart does not make one socially mature. (Im a mid August birthday btw and no issues with being one of the youngest in my class.)

A lot going on in this comment.

1. A 12 year old in high school is a different deal. That's a kid who is not even through puberty going to school with kids who are mostly done with puberty. Huge difference, of course they seemed immature. It's not the subject of the thread.

2. Redshirting does not help kids mature. It might help place a child in a more appropriate cohort for their maturity level, but since we're talking entirely about summer birthdays, they are likely to be an outlier no matter what. Either on the mature side for their grade or on the immature side for their grade. Just based on age of course. Redshirting doesn't "solve" this. It's just the reality of being a summer birthday.

3. The point PPs are trying to make is that redshirting may not resolve your issue if you are just worried about your kid being an outlier. In fact, it might make them more of an outlier, because if they are visibly older than the rest of their class, that might call attention to itself.

4. Also, maturity doesn't track perfectly with the MONTH a kid was born, and the older kids get, the less it tracks. Plenty of kids with summer birthdays are as mature if not more so than kids with birthdays during the school year.

5. Which is why many people are suggesting that redshirting for the hell of it is a mistake, and that peopel should only redshirt if there is a delay of some kind which an extra year of PK would help with, including a social maturity delay.

I think there is only one PP making the same tired argument over and over again without success. If it’s such a mistake surely you have some data to back it up, lets see it. Because I don’t know a single person who regrets it. No matter how many different ways people try to make the ineffectual arguments with no facts.

We regretted it. Our child skipped a grade to make up for it.

Ok. My brother started kindergarten at 4 and school was always hard for him. My mother regretted not holding him back. Having to repeat a grade is devastating for a kid unlike skipping a grade. At least if you think a mistake is made it's an easier fix. I would err on the side of redshirting in that case.

I have an older child and they agree it was best we send them. Holding back would not make school easier if school doesn't come easy to them.

Why would i take your word for it?

Use common sense.

School his so dumbed down now, even more so in some privates. So, in a private, holding back makes even less sense when kids don't start Algebra till 8-9th grade.

Yeah, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Math isn’t everything.

Yes, I do. Math is important depending on the career field. You have no experience with a child like this.

What does algebra have to do with anything? They all get to 8th grade eventually, they are all expected to complete K-12, no shortcuts. All this is about is starting kindergarten at 4 or a very young 5 or an older 5 going on 6. All else equal, I'd rather not send a 4 year old off to kindergarten today and a 17 year old off to college in the future. But you do you. For people on the fence I'd always advise redshirting since it's so much harder to fix that mistake once you've decided to go on time.

Kids turn 18 within a few weeks of college so holding back based off that makes no sense. Public starts in 6/7/8 Algebra so if you have a smart kid, you are doing them a disservice by dumbing down the curriculum. My young for the grade started Algebra in 6th.

We held back and it was a huge mistake. It's much harder to bump up a grade than hold back but they should be with age-appropriate peers and holding back does not give them that.

Nobody actually cares how old your 6th grader is. All that matters is the grade. There's no special award for being the youngest so what's the hurry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send him. People hold back for their own needs and want validation by you doing it too. (said from a mom who didn't hold back her kid and is doing well)

+1

If your kid would be bored, send him. If your kid would not keep up, don't send him.

[Anonymous]

Increasingly my frustration around the redshirting conversation is not whether people do it or not (do it if you want to, it's a personal decision).

BUT people need to accept that there will be a range of ages (by month of course) and maturity levels in a class, and be ready to deal with it. If you want to redshirt your August birthday, fine. But I sent my August birthday on time both because we could not easily afford another year of childcare and because her PK teacher was like "she is extremely ready for K." And she was, as she started reading on her own the summer before K started.

But she's among the youngest in class, and yes, there are maturity differences between her and the oldest kids, including some redshirted kids. And that's just the reality. If you want to get mad or roll your eyes because my kid sometimes cries at school, needs a bit more help with social issues or other developmental issues (while your older child has to work independently or sit quietly), tough. I sent my child on time according to the deadline issued by the district. You are the one who chose to bend a rule. Which is fine, you do you. But that doesn't mean that suddenly kindergarten is going to cater to your child's maturity level. My kid turned 5 about 10 days before K started, and that is what it is. She's in the top reading and math groups at schools. Don't complain about the "immaturity" of my appropriately aged kindergartener. She's normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Increasingly my frustration around the redshirting conversation is not whether people do it or not (do it if you want to, it's a personal decision).

BUT people need to accept that there will be a range of ages (by month of course) and maturity levels in a class, and be ready to deal with it. If you want to redshirt your August birthday, fine. But I sent my August birthday on time both because we could not easily afford another year of childcare and because her PK teacher was like "she is extremely ready for K." And she was, as she started reading on her own the summer before K started.

But she's among the youngest in class, and yes, there are maturity differences between her and the oldest kids, including some redshirted kids. And that's just the reality. If you want to get mad or roll your eyes because my kid sometimes cries at school, needs a bit more help with social issues or other developmental issues (while your older child has to work independently or sit quietly), tough. I sent my child on time according to the deadline issued by the district. You are the one who chose to bend a rule. Which is fine, you do you. But that doesn't mean that suddenly kindergarten is going to cater to your child's maturity level. My kid turned 5 about 10 days before K started, and that is what it is. She's in the top reading and math groups at schools. Don't complain about the "immaturity" of my appropriately aged kindergartener. She's normal.

Who's complaining about the immaturity? If anyone, it's the teachers. The vast majority of parents don't know what's going on in the classroom or who cries or still wets their pants. But for those who made a different decision it's because we didn't want the teachers constantly complaining to us about our "immature" kindergartener not keeping up with the much older classmates or being the one causing all the issues. You've seen the studies that the youngest are the most likely to be diagnosed with ADHD, I presume. That's not on the other parents though.

The other people complaining are those with the young kids who don't like that they have the youngest.

[Anonymous]

I feel I have to redshirt my late September child since so many kids starting in June are redshirted. I have heard most people don’t regret redshirting but regret sending early, particularly with boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Increasingly my frustration around the redshirting conversation is not whether people do it or not (do it if you want to, it's a personal decision).

BUT people need to accept that there will be a range of ages (by month of course) and maturity levels in a class, and be ready to deal with it. If you want to redshirt your August birthday, fine. But I sent my August birthday on time both because we could not easily afford another year of childcare and because her PK teacher was like "she is extremely ready for K." And she was, as she started reading on her own the summer before K started.

But she's among the youngest in class, and yes, there are maturity differences between her and the oldest kids, including some redshirted kids. And that's just the reality. If you want to get mad or roll your eyes because my kid sometimes cries at school, needs a bit more help with social issues or other developmental issues (while your older child has to work independently or sit quietly), tough. I sent my child on time according to the deadline issued by the district. You are the one who chose to bend a rule. Which is fine, you do you. But that doesn't mean that suddenly kindergarten is going to cater to your child's maturity level. My kid turned 5 about 10 days before K started, and that is what it is. She's in the top reading and math groups at schools. Don't complain about the "immaturity" of my appropriately aged kindergartener. She's normal.

Who's complaining about the immaturity? If anyone, it's the teachers. The vast majority of parents don't know what's going on in the classroom or who cries or still wets their pants. But for those who made a different decision it's because we didn't want the teachers constantly complaining to us about our "immature" kindergartener not keeping up with the much older classmates or being the one causing all the issues. You've seen the studies that the youngest are the most likely to be diagnosed with ADHD, I presume. That's not on the other parents though.

The other people complaining are those with the young kids who don't like that they have the youngest.

PP here. I have no problem having the youngest. What is tiresome is when parents who redshirted their kids complain that the academics aren't advanced enough or "why are these kindergarteners spending so much time xyz social skills -- they have it." No, your redshirted child does because they are a full year older. The other kids need, you know, kindergarten.

I think a lot of people who are very adamant about redshirting really just want to change the cutoffs so kids are older when they start school. Which is fine, then advocate for that. But the cutoffs are what they are, plenty of people will continue to send their kids on time. My kid is the youngest in class and has no trouble with the academics. But she seems immature to certain other parents because they held their kids back, and they are comparing their who is a full year older to my kid. Of course my kid is less mature. Suck it up, you did this to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Increasingly my frustration around the redshirting conversation is not whether people do it or not (do it if you want to, it's a personal decision).

BUT people need to accept that there will be a range of ages (by month of course) and maturity levels in a class, and be ready to deal with it. If you want to redshirt your August birthday, fine. But I sent my August birthday on time both because we could not easily afford another year of childcare and because her PK teacher was like "she is extremely ready for K." And she was, as she started reading on her own the summer before K started.

But she's among the youngest in class, and yes, there are maturity differences between her and the oldest kids, including some redshirted kids. And that's just the reality. If you want to get mad or roll your eyes because my kid sometimes cries at school, needs a bit more help with social issues or other developmental issues (while your older child has to work independently or sit quietly), tough. I sent my child on time according to the deadline issued by the district. You are the one who chose to bend a rule. Which is fine, you do you. But that doesn't mean that suddenly kindergarten is going to cater to your child's maturity level. My kid turned 5 about 10 days before K started, and that is what it is. She's in the top reading and math groups at schools. Don't complain about the "immaturity" of my appropriately aged kindergartener. She's normal.

Who's complaining about the immaturity? If anyone, it's the teachers. The vast majority of parents don't know what's going on in the classroom or who cries or still wets their pants. But for those who made a different decision it's because we didn't want the teachers constantly complaining to us about our "immature" kindergartener not keeping up with the much older classmates or being the one causing all the issues. You've seen the studies that the youngest are the most likely to be diagnosed with ADHD, I presume. That's not on the other parents though.

The other people complaining are those with the young kids who don't like that they have the youngest.

PP here. I have no problem having the youngest. What is tiresome is when parents who redshirted their kids complain that the academics aren't advanced enough or "why are these kindergarteners spending so much time xyz social skills -- they have it." No, your redshirted child does because they are a full year older. The other kids need, you know, kindergarten.

I think a lot of people who are very adamant about redshirting really just want to change the cutoffs so kids are older when they start school. Which is fine, then advocate for that. But the cutoffs are what they are, plenty of people will continue to send their kids on time. My kid is the youngest in class and has no trouble with the academics. But she seems immature to certain other parents because they held their kids back, and they are comparing their who is a full year older to my kid. Of course my kid is less mature. Suck it up, you did this to yourself.

I don't see this attitude at all. The people complaining about academics are those spending $$$ on outside enrichment to speed their kid up, like the algebra in 6th grade poster ^^. The people doing that aren't redshirting parents. Perhaps you're confusing who is doing the complaining and why.