Is anyone else super triggered by ppl showing off on social media?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it kind of sounds like you're annoyed that others are getting attention for things you do too. Jealousy isn't the right word, maybe validation? Kind of like how when someone has an achievement and gets attention and praise for it so someone butts in with their achievement so they can get praise too. But since you don't post you don't get the attention and that's really what bothers you

This is so untrue. I fly private, and stay in hotel penthouses, and this triggers me when I see it. Showing off is showing off, and it’s awful behavior. If there was no social media, you would not be posting anything and living in the moment and enjoying your memory.

You’re making the assumption that someone is posting to brag when in reality they might not be. You are assigning malicious intent. This is all based on your own morals, values and rigid social media code that you have developed.

And yet you are going out of your way to tell us that you fly private and stay in penthouses.

I think you definitely believe folks shouldn’t be posting certain things on social media and it’s likely because you don’t want them to be on your level. You subconsciously want to be better than others, and it’s obvious you find ways to judge people in order to do that.

Lastly: if you are in therapy, you have issues. Good for you for addressing them in therapy. But some things really shouldn’t require therapy. Sometimes you just need to realize that being easily triggered by silly things is your issue instead of digging in to find support in judging others and making yourself feel better.

Comparable to implicit bias: if you feel bad thoughts creeping up, remind yourself it’s not cool and try to shift your mindset. Don’t feed into it.

In short: try not to be a miserable jerk. Be better.

Op - this post wasn’t me. But thanks!

But I’ve read your other posts, and my advice applies to you. Seriously.

Honestly from your post I think you are kind of a judgemental and miserable jerk.
I at least have the decency to question my judgement and get therapy. You don’t

How old are you? Seriously.

Being triggered by social media indicates *you* have an issue. Ditto for being in therapy. Happy, resilient people aren’t triggered by social media or need therapy.

Again, I applaud your effort to seek help, but at some point you might want to evaluate if therapy is helping. Sometimes it’s actually better to handle yourself rather than seek an audience and validation through a paid therapist. I know several people who wasted years/decades with a therapist when what they really needed to do was stop being so self-centered and fixated on their own thoughts and feelings.

The only reason I’m engaging with you is because you posted here. I don’t judge people irl. If I catch myself going there, I recognize it internally and pivot. Again: it’s a skill people should develop.

Oh dear. Your ignorance is showing.

How's your therapy bill? Maybe that's why you can't afford business class.

No one on here said they can’t afford business class.
Many here said they can but would never post about traveling business class. Literally as tacky as posting a photo of you making it rain with actual cash. I’m serious. It’s that obvious

Ok, they don't see it is tacky, and it drives you nuts. Too bad.

[Anonymous]

This thread is helping me work out something that has been bothering me. A very good friend posts selfies nearly daily, and is on tik tok doing the filters and such. These posts scream thirst trap to me and I find myself being judgmental and irritated.
Maybe what I am irritated by is some combination of * this friend feels uninhibited to play make believe seductress thirst trap siren for all to see and * is not called on it and * maybe my friend not being chastised by the world means that when I felt chastised for interrupting adult conversations or seeking attention when I had nothing substantial to add was not necessary.
I do happen to know I am not the only one who rolls their eyes at this friends selfies. And when we go out together and this friend wants to have a photo shoot of themself. And when this friend is in a group setting taking selfies or making tik toks as if they are alone. Ok, the judgement is creeping back up. Maybe I need to reread some more of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is helping me work out something that has been bothering me. A very good friend posts selfies nearly daily, and is on tik tok doing the filters and such. These posts scream thirst trap to me and I find myself being judgmental and irritated.
Maybe what I am irritated by is some combination of * this friend feels uninhibited to play make believe seductress thirst trap siren for all to see and * is not called on it and * maybe my friend not being chastised by the world means that when I felt chastised for interrupting adult conversations or seeking attention when I had nothing substantial to add was not necessary.
I do happen to know I am not the only one who rolls their eyes at this friends selfies. And when we go out together and this friend wants to have a photo shoot of themself. And when this friend is in a group setting taking selfies or making tik toks as if they are alone. Ok, the judgement is creeping back up. Maybe I need to reread some more of this thread.

Op - I think social media just forces all of us to reckon daily with everyone’s idealized version of who they are. Clearly that’s not healthy overall - but it’s kind of like seeing into someone’s soul in a way that’s like - too much. Like - you otherwise seem normal and nice but then you do this and it’s so aberrant from how I was raised to be.
Probably pre social media the bad behavior came out but in ways that weren’t so… obvious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is helping me work out something that has been bothering me. A very good friend posts selfies nearly daily, and is on tik tok doing the filters and such. These posts scream thirst trap to me and I find myself being judgmental and irritated.
Maybe what I am irritated by is some combination of * this friend feels uninhibited to play make believe seductress thirst trap siren for all to see and * is not called on it and * maybe my friend not being chastised by the world means that when I felt chastised for interrupting adult conversations or seeking attention when I had nothing substantial to add was not necessary.
I do happen to know I am not the only one who rolls their eyes at this friends selfies. And when we go out together and this friend wants to have a photo shoot of themself. And when this friend is in a group setting taking selfies or making tik toks as if they are alone. Ok, the judgement is creeping back up. Maybe I need to reread some more of this thread.

No one is perfect. If you otherwise like her and she is a good person, try to be compassionate. Take pity on her, clearly she has some self-esteem or mental health issues if she is seeking external validation from acquaintances and strangers by posting daily thirst-trap selfies. Healthy, well adjusted, and confident people don't do this.

[Anonymous]

Real question:

Why DO some people get away with doing stuff that would normally be considered obnoxious if other people did it on social media. Not talking about celebrities, just regular people.

It's such a mystery to me sometimes why two people can post very similar things, and one will get basically no response and people will call them needy or tacky behind their back, but then the other person will get lots of likes and comments and people will really like them. But it's almost the exact same behavior. It's so weird.

I've also had friends complain to me about the social media activity of some mutual friends, as being too frequent or boring, but then I'll notice that another mutual friend posts just as frequently and on the exact same subjects (house renovation, wedding planning updates, etc.) and the person who complained about the first friend will like all the second one's posts and post enthusiastic comments.

It definitely feels like there are different rules for different people and I don't get the sense that the people who do best on social media are the nicest or smartest or more interesting people. It's just kind of random to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Real question:

Why DO some people get away with doing stuff that would normally be considered obnoxious if other people did it on social media. Not talking about celebrities, just regular people.

It's such a mystery to me sometimes why two people can post very similar things, and one will get basically no response and people will call them needy or tacky behind their back, but then the other person will get lots of likes and comments and people will really like them. But it's almost the exact same behavior. It's so weird.

I've also had friends complain to me about the social media activity of some mutual friends, as being too frequent or boring, but then I'll notice that another mutual friend posts just as frequently and on the exact same subjects (house renovation, wedding planning updates, etc.) and the person who complained about the first friend will like all the second one's posts and post enthusiastic comments.

It definitely feels like there are different rules for different people and I don't get the sense that the people who do best on social media are the nicest or smartest or more interesting people. It's just kind of random to me.

In your friend example above, it is entirely possible that your simply likes friend #2 better than than friend #1 (or covertly dislikes friend #1) and expresses that via catty passive-aggressive comments about friend #1's social media. Most people have very little intellectual consistency in their opinions and behaviors.

I don't mean this to be snarky, but are you unaware that people who are attractive, popular, rich, or powerful are treated differently than those who are not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Real question:

Why DO some people get away with doing stuff that would normally be considered obnoxious if other people did it on social media. Not talking about celebrities, just regular people.

It's such a mystery to me sometimes why two people can post very similar things, and one will get basically no response and people will call them needy or tacky behind their back, but then the other person will get lots of likes and comments and people will really like them. But it's almost the exact same behavior. It's so weird.

I've also had friends complain to me about the social media activity of some mutual friends, as being too frequent or boring, but then I'll notice that another mutual friend posts just as frequently and on the exact same subjects (house renovation, wedding planning updates, etc.) and the person who complained about the first friend will like all the second one's posts and post enthusiastic comments.

It definitely feels like there are different rules for different people and I don't get the sense that the people who do best on social media are the nicest or smartest or more interesting people. It's just kind of random to me.

Op - if you look closely you may be able to discern some differences.
There’s nothing wrong with posting often, but is the person adding value to their audience? Are they sharing something heartfelt, authentic or real about themselves? Are they hyping someone else up.
I think what pp said is true also - familiarity is at play. But the reason for that is bc you might overlook someone posting ‘oh hey I’m in biz class’ if you know for a fact that is a treat for them or they have had a hard time lately. You can approximate the same relationship on social yourself and achieve the same goodwill - but you need to be honest

[Anonymous]

Can we at least agree that constant selfies are far worse than the occasional travel pic…even if the travel pics include reference to the lounge?

And where do we stand on dog pics? I understand the initial excitement of a new dog prompts a flurry of pics, but at some point the daily pics with the running narrative become too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There have been experiments done on this. It’s called the ‘hubris hypothesis’ and it is v real

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797615573516

The abstract nails it. People think when they show off on social media that people will be impressed snd like them more. But instead people find it annoying and like them less. The end.

Mic drop.

+1 Totally agree.

It is the people who find a way to make everything about them -"THIS is why I do THIS!!" - yeah, no, you do this as a holdover from high school, you can't stand the spotlight not being on you for a millisecond.

Or another example is when their kid is involved in an activity - and honestly, by their posting each time at that activity, you would think that they are the next prodigy - but they are not.

In general, it is lack of perspective and self awareness - and flat out immaturity and selfishness. So gross.

[Anonymous]

I hear you, OP.

I have a few friends who are still single and obviously without kids. They post countless photos on every trip. I don’t think they ever go anywhere without posting. It’s cringey.

It makes me not want them to visit since I know it will mean I can’t even go out to dinner without a post and tagging the restaurant and location. It makes me uncomfortable.

I do wonder if they will ever stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There have been experiments done on this. It’s called the ‘hubris hypothesis’ and it is v real

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797615573516

The abstract nails it. People think when they show off on social media that people will be impressed snd like them more. But instead people find it annoying and like them less. The end.

Mic drop.

+1 Totally agree.

It is the people who find a way to make everything about them -"THIS is why I do THIS!!" - yeah, no, you do this as a holdover from high school, you can't stand the spotlight not being on you for a millisecond.

Or another example is when their kid is involved in an activity - and honestly, by their posting each time at that activity, you would think that they are the next prodigy - but they are not.

In general, it is lack of perspective and self awareness - and flat out immaturity and selfishness. So gross.

DP - it’s attention-seeking. And, it’s totally fine for people to seek attention - most people do want positive attention - but done in this manner, pretending that no, they don’t want attention, they’re just compelled to share their fabulous lives, is disingenuous. I seek attention from the people in my life I’m actually close to, and from whom I would expect it. Social media isn’t that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There have been experiments done on this. It’s called the ‘hubris hypothesis’ and it is v real

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797615573516

The abstract nails it. People think when they show off on social media that people will be impressed snd like them more. But instead people find it annoying and like them less. The end.

Mic drop.

+1 Totally agree.

It is the people who find a way to make everything about them -"THIS is why I do THIS!!" - yeah, no, you do this as a holdover from high school, you can't stand the spotlight not being on you for a millisecond.

Or another example is when their kid is involved in an activity - and honestly, by their posting each time at that activity, you would think that they are the next prodigy - but they are not.

In general, it is lack of perspective and self awareness - and flat out immaturity and selfishness. So gross.

DP - it’s attention-seeking. And, it’s totally fine for people to seek attention - most people do want positive attention - but done in this manner, pretending that no, they don’t want attention, they’re just compelled to share their fabulous lives, is disingenuous. I seek attention from the people in my life I’m actually close to, and from whom I would expect it. Social media isn’t that.

The entire point of social media is attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it kind of sounds like you're annoyed that others are getting attention for things you do too. Jealousy isn't the right word, maybe validation? Kind of like how when someone has an achievement and gets attention and praise for it so someone butts in with their achievement so they can get praise too. But since you don't post you don't get the attention and that's really what bothers you

This is so untrue. I fly private, and stay in hotel penthouses, and this triggers me when I see it. Showing off is showing off, and it’s awful behavior. If there was no social media, you would not be posting anything and living in the moment and enjoying your memory.

You’re making the assumption that someone is posting to brag when in reality they might not be. You are assigning malicious intent. This is all based on your own morals, values and rigid social media code that you have developed.

And yet you are going out of your way to tell us that you fly private and stay in penthouses.

I think you definitely believe folks shouldn’t be posting certain things on social media and it’s likely because you don’t want them to be on your level. You subconsciously want to be better than others, and it’s obvious you find ways to judge people in order to do that.

Lastly: if you are in therapy, you have issues. Good for you for addressing them in therapy. But some things really shouldn’t require therapy. Sometimes you just need to realize that being easily triggered by silly things is your issue instead of digging in to find support in judging others and making yourself feel better.

Comparable to implicit bias: if you feel bad thoughts creeping up, remind yourself it’s not cool and try to shift your mindset. Don’t feed into it.

In short: try not to be a miserable jerk. Be better.

Op - this post wasn’t me. But thanks!

But I’ve read your other posts, and my advice applies to you. Seriously.

Honestly from your post I think you are kind of a judgemental and miserable jerk.
I at least have the decency to question my judgement and get therapy. You don’t

How old are you? Seriously.

Being triggered by social media indicates *you* have an issue. Ditto for being in therapy. Happy, resilient people aren’t triggered by social media or need therapy.

Again, I applaud your effort to seek help, but at some point you might want to evaluate if therapy is helping. Sometimes it’s actually better to handle yourself rather than seek an audience and validation through a paid therapist. I know several people who wasted years/decades with a therapist when what they really needed to do was stop being so self-centered and fixated on their own thoughts and feelings.

The only reason I’m engaging with you is because you posted here. I don’t judge people irl. If I catch myself going there, I recognize it internally and pivot. Again: it’s a skill people should develop.

Oh dear. Your ignorance is showing.

How's your therapy bill? Maybe that's why you can't afford business class.

No one on here said they can’t afford business class.
Many here said they can but would never post about traveling business class. Literally as tacky as posting a photo of you making it rain with actual cash. I’m serious. It’s that obvious

Ok, they don't see it is tacky, and it drives you nuts. Too bad.

DP here. Tacky people never see their tacky behavior as tacky. Either that or they know its tacky and don't have a problem with being tacky. That doesn't change the fact that it is.

[Anonymous]

OP - You know you control what you see on social media, right? Sounds like you need to stop driving yourself insane with envy by cyberstalking people.

[Anonymous]

What in the world does triggered mean?