Couples therapy and mandatory reporting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

All professions have ethical guidelines. I get that you don't think that this is a situation that SHOULD be reported, by why on earth is it not okay for a mandated reporter to... follow the mandated reporter guidelines? Why should they not think about their own license? Also, this family hadn't "self-reported" anything to anyone. The OP indicated that they were starting this week and was trying to decide whether to report this incident at all. The OP was actively asking people if she should disclose the incident at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

Or you know, their THERAPIST could recommend these things and then make a determination on whether a referral is necessary when he/she has more information about the family she is about to get to know, instead of pulling the ripcord on day one and driving them away from needed therapy (which this thread has probably already done).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

Or you know, their THERAPIST could recommend these things and then make a determination on whether a referral is necessary when he/she has more information about the family she is about to get to know, instead of pulling the ripcord on day one and driving them away from needed therapy (which this thread has probably already done).

I mean their therapist “could” do anything. He or she “could” lose their livelihood and not be able to feed their kids when the teacher/principal has reported the marks and they lose their license in the subsequent investigation.

They “could” feel great if the kid is hospitalized or dead because they didn’t report child abuse as required by law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

Or you know, their THERAPIST could recommend these things and then make a determination on whether a referral is necessary when he/she has more information about the family she is about to get to know, instead of pulling the ripcord on day one and driving them away from needed therapy (which this thread has probably already done).

The THERAPIST is a mandated reporter. She/he doesn’t make the recommendations when abuse is alleged. What people don’t understand is that it is extremely unlikely that the child would be removed or father would be prosecuted. If the family is seeking help through counseling, and there are no other signs of abuse, then, most likely, CPS would monitor for a short while to ensure the safety of the child then close the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

Or you know, their THERAPIST could recommend these things and then make a determination on whether a referral is necessary when he/she has more information about the family she is about to get to know, instead of pulling the ripcord on day one and driving them away from needed therapy (which this thread has probably already done).

The THERAPIST is a mandated reporter. She/he doesn’t make the recommendations when abuse is alleged. What people don’t understand is that it is extremely unlikely that the child would be removed or father would be prosecuted. If the family is seeking help through counseling, and there are no other signs of abuse, then, most likely, CPS would monitor for a short while to ensure the safety of the child then close the case.

They know that. They just don’t want to take the chance of embarrassing the dad when CPS shows up at his door and his golf buddies find out his hitting his kid. You know— priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

Or you know, their THERAPIST could recommend these things and then make a determination on whether a referral is necessary when he/she has more information about the family she is about to get to know, instead of pulling the ripcord on day one and driving them away from needed therapy (which this thread has probably already done).

The THERAPIST is a mandated reporter. She/he doesn’t make the recommendations when abuse is alleged. What people don’t understand is that it is extremely unlikely that the child would be removed or father would be prosecuted. If the family is seeking help through counseling, and there are no other signs of abuse, then, most likely, CPS would monitor for a short while to ensure the safety of the child then close the case.

They know that. They just don’t want to take the chance of embarrassing the dad when CPS shows up at his door and his golf buddies find out his hitting his kid. You know— priorities.

Except that he’s not hitting his kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

Or you know, their THERAPIST could recommend these things and then make a determination on whether a referral is necessary when he/she has more information about the family she is about to get to know, instead of pulling the ripcord on day one and driving them away from needed therapy (which this thread has probably already done).

The THERAPIST is a mandated reporter. She/he doesn’t make the recommendations when abuse is alleged. What people don’t understand is that it is extremely unlikely that the child would be removed or father would be prosecuted. If the family is seeking help through counseling, and there are no other signs of abuse, then, most likely, CPS would monitor for a short while to ensure the safety of the child then close the case.

They know that. They just don’t want to take the chance of embarrassing the dad when CPS shows up at his door and his golf buddies find out his hitting his kid. You know— priorities.

Except that he’s not hitting his kid.

He’s just dragging her hard enough to leave marks…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

Or you know, their THERAPIST could recommend these things and then make a determination on whether a referral is necessary when he/she has more information about the family she is about to get to know, instead of pulling the ripcord on day one and driving them away from needed therapy (which this thread has probably already done).

The THERAPIST is a mandated reporter. She/he doesn’t make the recommendations when abuse is alleged. What people don’t understand is that it is extremely unlikely that the child would be removed or father would be prosecuted. If the family is seeking help through counseling, and there are no other signs of abuse, then, most likely, CPS would monitor for a short while to ensure the safety of the child then close the case.

They know that. They just don’t want to take the chance of embarrassing the dad when CPS shows up at his door and his golf buddies find out his hitting his kid. You know— priorities.

Except that he’s not hitting his kid.

He’s just dragging her hard enough to leave marks…

Didn’t drag her either. I can see how someone could grab a kid hard enough to leave brief marks without actually intending to injure them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

Or you know, their THERAPIST could recommend these things and then make a determination on whether a referral is necessary when he/she has more information about the family she is about to get to know, instead of pulling the ripcord on day one and driving them away from needed therapy (which this thread has probably already done).

The THERAPIST is a mandated reporter. She/he doesn’t make the recommendations when abuse is alleged. What people don’t understand is that it is extremely unlikely that the child would be removed or father would be prosecuted. If the family is seeking help through counseling, and there are no other signs of abuse, then, most likely, CPS would monitor for a short while to ensure the safety of the child then close the case.

They know that. They just don’t want to take the chance of embarrassing the dad when CPS shows up at his door and his golf buddies find out his hitting his kid. You know— priorities.

Except that he’s not hitting his kid.

He’s just dragging her hard enough to leave marks…

Didn’t drag her either. I can see how someone could grab a kid hard enough to leave brief marks without actually intending to injure them.

“Intent” isn’t relevant and you have no indication they were “brief marks” since they lasted long enough to be photographed and apparently resulted in a picture the OP thinks will get him reported for child abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

Or you know, their THERAPIST could recommend these things and then make a determination on whether a referral is necessary when he/she has more information about the family she is about to get to know, instead of pulling the ripcord on day one and driving them away from needed therapy (which this thread has probably already done).

The THERAPIST is a mandated reporter. She/he doesn’t make the recommendations when abuse is alleged. What people don’t understand is that it is extremely unlikely that the child would be removed or father would be prosecuted. If the family is seeking help through counseling, and there are no other signs of abuse, then, most likely, CPS would monitor for a short while to ensure the safety of the child then close the case.

They know that. They just don’t want to take the chance of embarrassing the dad when CPS shows up at his door and his golf buddies find out his hitting his kid. You know— priorities.

Except that he’s not hitting his kid.

He’s just dragging her hard enough to leave marks…

Didn’t drag her either. I can see how someone could grab a kid hard enough to leave brief marks without actually intending to injure them.

“Intent” isn’t relevant and you have no indication they were “brief marks” since they lasted long enough to be photographed and apparently resulted in a picture the OP thinks will get him reported for child abuse.

Lots of assumptions here. OPs tone is very reactive to begin with and if she was taking pictures she’s already at the extreme of reactivity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

Or you know, their THERAPIST could recommend these things and then make a determination on whether a referral is necessary when he/she has more information about the family she is about to get to know, instead of pulling the ripcord on day one and driving them away from needed therapy (which this thread has probably already done).

The THERAPIST is a mandated reporter. She/he doesn’t make the recommendations when abuse is alleged. What people don’t understand is that it is extremely unlikely that the child would be removed or father would be prosecuted. If the family is seeking help through counseling, and there are no other signs of abuse, then, most likely, CPS would monitor for a short while to ensure the safety of the child then close the case.

They know that. They just don’t want to take the chance of embarrassing the dad when CPS shows up at his door and his golf buddies find out his hitting his kid. You know— priorities.

Except that he’s not hitting his kid.

He’s just dragging her hard enough to leave marks…

Didn’t drag her either. I can see how someone could grab a kid hard enough to leave brief marks without actually intending to injure them.

“Intent” isn’t relevant and you have no indication they were “brief marks” since they lasted long enough to be photographed and apparently resulted in a picture the OP thinks will get him reported for child abuse.

Lots of assumptions here. OPs tone is very reactive to begin with and if she was taking pictures she’s already at the extreme of reactivity.

There is nothing extreme about documenting abuse. If anything OP isn’t reacting enough— if someone bruised my child a therapist would not be the ones responsible for calling CPS.

You make the same number of assumptions in your posts by asserting “brief marks” and “self-reporting” and yet your assumptions always benefit the abuser. Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are blindly following their mandated reporter guidelines and thinking about their own licenses, read the thread. Hardly anyone thinks that calling CPS on this family who have already self-reported and are engaging in joint therapy is an immediate danger to the child.

They haven’t “self reported” to anyone— there is zero record. Making things up to protect the abuser, again, shows where your priorities in this case are.

By “self-reported” I meant took the initiative to seek professional help. Isn’t that what CPS would recommend anyway? Or are you seriously suggesting this child be removed from the home? If you are you are crazier than I thought.

That’s not reporting. That’s “talked about getting therapy”. No evidence the abuser took any initiative whatsoever since this is all from the spouse.

I don’t know if someone should remove the child from the home. I certainly think CPS should get a report from a third party about a child being abused when an adult admits to abusing that child. CPS might think anger-management or parenting classes was warranted too and there’s no evidence they’re seeking that out.

Or you know, their THERAPIST could recommend these things and then make a determination on whether a referral is necessary when he/she has more information about the family she is about to get to know, instead of pulling the ripcord on day one and driving them away from needed therapy (which this thread has probably already done).

The THERAPIST is a mandated reporter. She/he doesn’t make the recommendations when abuse is alleged. What people don’t understand is that it is extremely unlikely that the child would be removed or father would be prosecuted. If the family is seeking help through counseling, and there are no other signs of abuse, then, most likely, CPS would monitor for a short while to ensure the safety of the child then close the case.

They know that. They just don’t want to take the chance of embarrassing the dad when CPS shows up at his door and his golf buddies find out his hitting his kid. You know— priorities.

Except that he’s not hitting his kid.

He’s just dragging her hard enough to leave marks…

Didn’t drag her either. I can see how someone could grab a kid hard enough to leave brief marks without actually intending to injure them.

“Intent” isn’t relevant and you have no indication they were “brief marks” since they lasted long enough to be photographed and apparently resulted in a picture the OP thinks will get him reported for child abuse.

Lots of assumptions here. OPs tone is very reactive to begin with and if she was taking pictures she’s already at the extreme of reactivity.

There is nothing extreme about documenting abuse. If anything OP isn’t reacting enough— if someone bruised my child a therapist would not be the ones responsible for calling CPS.

You make the same number of assumptions in your posts by asserting “brief marks” and “self-reporting” and yet your assumptions always benefit the abuser. Why?

NP. Because this incident doesn't appear to be severe enough to warrant getting the police or CPS involved. I don't think you're taking into account the potential ramifications of going to the authorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it needs to be reported.

The naivete of this remark is astounding.

The OP needs to determine whether or not her husband poses a threat to her children. If he is picking up their daughter and holding her so tightly that he leaves marks on her skin, that is OP's problem, first and foremost. Bringing the police or the state into this situation is not going to improve it, and could make the situation far worse.

If OP is refusing to acknowledge the harm her DH is doing to her children, then someone else must step in. But since OP took photos, I'm thinking she knows that her DH's behavior is excessive and wrong.

OP, don't show the photos to your therapist, but DO think long and hard about separation. You cannot subject your children to a person who leaves marks on them because they are too noisy!! That is normal childhood behavior!! Not listening or obeying a parent is also normal behavior. Your DH's behavior is not normal by any stretch of the imagination. And until he can behave appropriately around your children, he must be separated from them.

You decide, OP, or eventually, a mandated reporter will do your job for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a therapist. This would have to be reported.

And I agree with the PP, this should not be your biggest concern.

What? Because he grabbed the kid? God help our culture if we think it's better to lock up a parent or divorce him because he grabbed his kid too hard in a moment of frustration. Where is the compassion? Where is the proportionality? It really doesn't sound like he was trying to hurt the kid. Maybe he didn't realize how much force he was applying. Maybe he didn't realize the point at which he woudl leave a mark. And what's "a mark," anyway - a bruise? The slight discoloration in skin that comes from pressure or heat and then dissipates after a few seconds? As long as he now acknowledges that he squeezed too tight, I think everyone needs to get over it.

+10000

I am a different poster and agree with this. It’s legal to spank your kids. He needs better emotional regulation but this isn’t CPS-worthy IMO. And I am a mandated reporter and have reported to CPS before.

Then you do not know what you are doing. I am also a mandated reporter and leaving marks always requires a report. PP, maybe you should think about changing professions.

As someone said above, there are marks and there are marks. Grabbing a child even non-abusively will leave brief red marks. If we are talking about bruises visible hours later that is a different story. But considering none of us here has even seen the photos I think you’re the one jumping to conclusions.

It
Does
Not
Matter

Marks
Equals
Report

But it does matter!

There are such serious consequences of reporting suspected child abuse to CPS that it's important to look at the big picture, not react based on a simple "marks=report". Was it a one-time occurrence? What happened exactly? Is it part of an ongoing pattern? Was it an accident?

However, I have to say that in more than 20 years of parenting, neither DH or I has ever left a mark on a child when disciplining or restraining them! I can't imagine any circumstance where that would happen, even though I've certainly grabbed a runaway toddler before they fell or ran into the street or to prevent them from breaking something. You'd have to grab a child pretty hard to leave marks or bruises!