If you are a working mom, why?

[Anonymous]

When I did not have a paying "job" I was a working mom all the danged time. When I had/still have it today, a paying job I worked two jobs, so you can, quite frankly, eff off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a poor planner, have poor executive function skills, did not finish college, and am limited professionally, earning a paltry 100k. You see, as a deeply flawed person with an unimpressive career, my pool of potential spouses was then equally limited. I am, however, decent looking and have a somewhat appealing personality so I managed to attract a reasonably successful and unfailingly kind spouse who is similarly flawed. He did earn his degree, but it was only from a middling SLAC, and his salary is similarly unimpressive. Together we can somehow maintain a household and raise adorable, average children, but not on one salary. So I work. Frankly I am not resourceful enough to figure out another way. Am I happy and fulfilled? No, but fulfillment and self-actualization seem to be reserved for a higher echelon of privilege that our 200k HHI does not begin to cover, and my kids are happy which is my priority. There are much worse off. There are many other women who I would not ask "why are you a working mom?".

OMG, is this satire? As someone with a PhD and similarly educated spouse, neither of whom makes a "paltry" 100k, I sure hope it is!

Well to be fair it is very tough to live in the DMV and support a family on a 100k salary. Of course 200k is perfectly comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Because I want to, I love working and I love being a mom, and thankfully I can do both.

[Anonymous]

My mom was a SAHM and was a miserable mother. I wanted more for myself. I have a perfect work/life balance. I get to use my brain at work AND come home to my kids. My daughter loves and is inspired by me and I hope she does the same.

Plus, I never wanted to rely on a man to support me. I am lucky that I am in a 20+ marriage to a guy who loves and supports whatever I do. But I started out wanting to know I could support myself first. I grew up with too many divorces and unhappy marriages around me.

You stay at home moms can stay in the 1950s and thank your lucky stars you married someone who can support you.

[Anonymous]

For the same reason that I took up horseback riding at 39 when kids were 3 and 2. For the same reason, you did not find a paying job, while I presume were are and were working your butt off taking care of your kids, house, etc?
For the same reason, I got a graduate degree at 50. Because I do not live my life by YOUR and society's rules, cause I am a person that has her own mind and does what she wants, gender, age, defined imposed roles, and your trolling be damned. I answer to myself and myself only. Envy me, BCS you know you do, you b****ch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Why aren’t you asking dads?

Because women attacking and criticizing other women is acceptable. It's not acceptable to question men! Women must to everything well, but not so well they make other women jealous or question their own decisions. Also be pretty but not so pretty other women are jealous. Now do you understand? No matter what you do you're wrong in an other woman's eyes.

Good Lord! The OP asked a simple question that indicated to me that she might be on the fence about what she wants to do going forward and people like you read it as her attacking you and all women? Also, she didn't ask dads because she wasn't trying to win the politically correct contest, she was trying to find out what motivated other women to work rather than stay home with kids, which for many is a huge decision not made lightly.

Based on many comments on this thread I think one might conclude that working outside the home turns you into a nasty, sarcastic, defensive shrew who can't even just explain her decision without insults and vitriol.

DP
You sound so judgmental. I didn't sense vitriol just a frustration that women judge women no matter what choice they make. Did you not read the lady 14 pages of judgment on both side of the fence? If you did, are you the one with low comprehension and executive functioning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was a SAHM and was a miserable mother. I wanted more for myself. I have a perfect work/life balance. I get to use my brain at work AND come home to my kids. My daughter loves and is inspired by me and I hope she does the same.

Plus, I never wanted to rely on a man to support me. I am lucky that I am in a 20+ marriage to a guy who loves and supports whatever I do. But I started out wanting to know I could support myself first. I grew up with too many divorces and unhappy marriages around me.

You stay at home moms can stay in the 1950s and thank your lucky stars you married someone who can support you.

Very similar situation here. My mom really should have worked full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the same reason that I took up horseback riding at 39 when kids were 3 and 2. For the same reason, you did not find a paying job, while I presume were are and were working your butt off taking care of your kids, house, etc?
For the same reason, I got a graduate degree at 50. Because I do not live my life by YOUR and society's rules, cause I am a person that has her own mind and does what she wants, gender, age, defined imposed roles, and your trolling be damned. I answer to myself and myself only. Envy me, BCS you know you do, you b****ch.

^^ at 30, when kids were 3 and 2.

[Anonymous]

well, we live in a country without universal healthcare and outrageous prices for higher education and no social safeguards for people in trouble. My husband makes about 2.5x my salary (I make 125), and we can afford for me to stay home. But he might die, get disabled, or file for divorce so I work as an insurance policy for all those possibilities. My own dad got disabled when I was 10 and it was pretty hellish on my mom to become breadwinner on a dime without decent job experience. But honestly, no other reason - I actually prefer my time with my kids much more than the office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the same reason that I took up horseback riding at 39 when kids were 3 and 2. For the same reason, you did not find a paying job, while I presume were are and were working your butt off taking care of your kids, house, etc?
For the same reason, I got a graduate degree at 50. Because I do not live my life by YOUR and society's rules, cause I am a person that has her own mind and does what she wants, gender, age, defined imposed roles, and your trolling be damned. I answer to myself and myself only. Envy me, BCS you know you do, you b****ch.

[Anonymous]

I went right back to work 3 months after child was born. I stayed home for year right before she went to pre-school and I didn't see myself being a stay-at-home mom long-term. I didn't necessarily need the money but I needed to be doing something with adults and needed to help my mom financially. I also like having my own money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the same reason that I took up horseback riding at 39 when kids were 3 and 2. For the same reason, you did not find a paying job, while I presume were are and were working your butt off taking care of your kids, house, etc?
For the same reason, I got a graduate degree at 50. Because I do not live my life by YOUR and society's rules, cause I am a person that has her own mind and does what she wants, gender, age, defined imposed roles, and your trolling be damned. I answer to myself and myself only. Envy me, BCS you know you do, you b****ch.

Thanks! That is what I was aiming for and aiming to convey. Glad I succeeded.

[Anonymous]

Because I'm a single parent and there's no other choice.

[Anonymous]

Because it's preferable to living on a street corner in a cardboard box. What a stupid, privileged question.

[Anonymous]

Money. I like money. Sure we could get by on one income but that is no way to live. I like nice vacations, traveling and being able to buy whatever I want.

I also never want to be financially dependent on a man or the family who needs a go fund me when the husband suddenly dies and the mom hasn't worked in 10 years.