If you are a working mom, why?

[Anonymous]

I just went back to work outside of the home, full-time+ and it's fabulous, like a vacation from the monotony of day to day parenting.

Love my kids but working feels so great.

[Anonymous]

I love my job (college professor).
I worked really hard to get to where I'm at.
I'm great at my job.
I have fabulous benefits.
I've got a flexible schedule.
My work is rewarding and fulfilling.
We wouldn't have it any other way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Well, some people like to be intellectually stimulated. And sitting at home while a kid naps isn't great for that. Maybe you have no idea what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

I am very lucky to have an interesting and not overly demanding (at least to me) job. I like being on semi-equal footing (salary difference isn't that large) with DH.

Now that we're mostly working from home, and kids are in school, it's a complete no-brainer. I'm here when they leave for school and here when they return.

(For the record, I was home for 1 year with child 1 and 6 months with child 2. So I sort of got a sense of what being a SAHM is like, and didn't want it.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Well, some people like to be intellectually stimulated. And sitting at home while a kid naps isn't great for that. Maybe you have no idea what you're talking about.

Meh, I like to be mentally stimulated as well - but as someone who has been both a full time sahm and someone who currently works full time with high schoolers - the amount of stress of working far exceeds the amount of mental stimulation occurring. I actually get far more mental stimulation helping my kids with their homework than I do with a full day of my job or when I had more Time for reading when my kids napped. I actually read A TON when my kids were young and I wasn't working. I reread and read all the classics and loved every second of it. Less time to do that now.

People walking around complaining that being a mom to young children isn't "mentally stimulating" enough for them are missing the point. Your job is to use YOUR brain to stimulate THEIR brains. Not just to walk around pompously talking about how boring you find nap time.

[Anonymous]

What a dumb question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Well, some people like to be intellectually stimulated. And sitting at home while a kid naps isn't great for that. Maybe you have no idea what you're talking about.

Meh, I like to be mentally stimulated as well - but as someone who has been both a full time sahm and someone who currently works full time with high schoolers - the amount of stress of working far exceeds the amount of mental stimulation occurring. I actually get far more mental stimulation helping my kids with their homework than I do with a full day of my job or when I had more Time for reading when my kids napped. I actually read A TON when my kids were young and I wasn't working. I reread and read all the classics and loved every second of it. Less time to do that now.

People walking around complaining that being a mom to young children isn't "mentally stimulating" enough for them are missing the point. Your job is to use YOUR brain to stimulate THEIR brains. Not just to walk around pompously talking about how boring you find nap time.

I agree with you, but apparently many parents feel that their children are better off spending that time with underpaid, undereducated, under dedicated and often constantly changing daycare workers. Not to say that some daycare workers and situations aren't okay but I much preferred to be my children's primary influence when they were birth to about age 4 with some half day preschool thrown in. I didn't find it boring at all, I had plenty to do to stimulate my mind and theirs and to keep life interesting. Then when they were in school full time I pursued my career. It worked out great, my kids are grown now and they are my evidence that I did the right thing for my family. Certainly not for everyone obviously but kind or ridiculous to assume all SAHMs are going to be bored while the baby takes a nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Well, some people like to be intellectually stimulated. And sitting at home while a kid naps isn't great for that. Maybe you have no idea what you're talking about.

Meh, I like to be mentally stimulated as well - but as someone who has been both a full time sahm and someone who currently works full time with high schoolers - the amount of stress of working far exceeds the amount of mental stimulation occurring. I actually get far more mental stimulation helping my kids with their homework than I do with a full day of my job or when I had more Time for reading when my kids napped. I actually read A TON when my kids were young and I wasn't working. I reread and read all the classics and loved every second of it. Less time to do that now.

People walking around complaining that being a mom to young children isn't "mentally stimulating" enough for them are missing the point. Your job is to use YOUR brain to stimulate THEIR brains. Not just to walk around pompously talking about how boring you find nap time.

I agree with you, but apparently many parents feel that their children are better off spending that time with underpaid, undereducated, under dedicated and often constantly changing daycare workers. Not to say that some daycare workers and situations aren't okay but I much preferred to be my children's primary influence when they were birth to about age 4 with some half day preschool thrown in. I didn't find it boring at all, I had plenty to do to stimulate my mind and theirs and to keep life interesting. Then when they were in school full time I pursued my career. It worked out great, my kids are grown now and they are my evidence that I did the right thing for my family. Certainly not for everyone obviously but kind or ridiculous to assume all SAHMs are going to be bored while the baby takes a nap.

Well, there are two of us that took this route. My kids are still very much a work in process, so I have no idea if my investment will make a return, but I certainly wasn't bored. It was like being a student again for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bc I’m good at work and they pay me a lot of money. Why not ask my husband why he works?

I am really good at my job and they don't pay me a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Well, some people like to be intellectually stimulated. And sitting at home while a kid naps isn't great for that. Maybe you have no idea what you're talking about.

you should tell your kids' childcare providers that you feel this way about them!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Well, some people like to be intellectually stimulated. And sitting at home while a kid naps isn't great for that. Maybe you have no idea what you're talking about.

Meh, I like to be mentally stimulated as well - but as someone who has been both a full time sahm and someone who currently works full time with high schoolers - the amount of stress of working far exceeds the amount of mental stimulation occurring. I actually get far more mental stimulation helping my kids with their homework than I do with a full day of my job or when I had more Time for reading when my kids napped. I actually read A TON when my kids were young and I wasn't working. I reread and read all the classics and loved every second of it. Less time to do that now.

People walking around complaining that being a mom to young children isn't "mentally stimulating" enough for them are missing the point. Your job is to use YOUR brain to stimulate THEIR brains. Not just to walk around pompously talking about how boring you find nap time.

I agree with you, but apparently many parents feel that their children are better off spending that time with underpaid, undereducated, under dedicated and often constantly changing daycare workers. Not to say that some daycare workers and situations aren't okay but I much preferred to be my children's primary influence when they were birth to about age 4 with some half day preschool thrown in. I didn't find it boring at all, I had plenty to do to stimulate my mind and theirs and to keep life interesting. Then when they were in school full time I pursued my career. It worked out great, my kids are grown now and they are my evidence that I did the right thing for my family. Certainly not for everyone obviously but kind or ridiculous to assume all SAHMs are going to be bored while the baby takes a nap.

Oh, go to hell. I'm still my child's primary influence despite her being in daycare. Her daycare teachers may not have master's degrees but they are excellent in their profession and gentle and loving (dare I say gentler and more patient than me!). My child is 100% better off being in daycare during the workday, and I spent a year as a SAHM so I can compare objectively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Well, some people like to be intellectually stimulated. And sitting at home while a kid naps isn't great for that. Maybe you have no idea what you're talking about.

Meh, I like to be mentally stimulated as well - but as someone who has been both a full time sahm and someone who currently works full time with high schoolers - the amount of stress of working far exceeds the amount of mental stimulation occurring. I actually get far more mental stimulation helping my kids with their homework than I do with a full day of my job or when I had more Time for reading when my kids napped. I actually read A TON when my kids were young and I wasn't working. I reread and read all the classics and loved every second of it. Less time to do that now.

People walking around complaining that being a mom to young children isn't "mentally stimulating" enough for them are missing the point. Your job is to use YOUR brain to stimulate THEIR brains. Not just to walk around pompously talking about how boring you find nap time.

I agree with you, but apparently many parents feel that their children are better off spending that time with underpaid, undereducated, under dedicated and often constantly changing daycare workers. Not to say that some daycare workers and situations aren't okay but I much preferred to be my children's primary influence when they were birth to about age 4 with some half day preschool thrown in. I didn't find it boring at all, I had plenty to do to stimulate my mind and theirs and to keep life interesting. Then when they were in school full time I pursued my career. It worked out great, my kids are grown now and they are my evidence that I did the right thing for my family. Certainly not for everyone obviously but kind or ridiculous to assume all SAHMs are going to be bored while the baby takes a nap.

Oh, go to hell. I'm still my child's primary influence despite her being in daycare. Her daycare teachers may not have master's degrees but they are excellent in their profession and gentle and loving (dare I say gentler and more patient than me!). My child is 100% better off being in daycare during the workday, and I spent a year as a SAHM so I can compare objectively.

Sorry, I should have been more civil in my language here. Daycare criticism really frustrates me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because my mom was a SAHM and I saw how that went.

Same ending, different story - because my mom was a SAHM and even though she loved it and was the best mom ever, she wanted more for me.

+1

I was always encouraged to work full time only taking 4-6mo mat leave for each kid. That's what I did and I'm very happy with my choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Why aren’t you asking dads?

Because women attacking and criticizing other women is acceptable. It's not acceptable to question men! Women must to everything well, but not so well they make other women jealous or question their own decisions. Also be pretty but not so pretty other women are jealous. Now do you understand? No matter what you do you're wrong in an other woman's eyes.

Good Lord! The OP asked a simple question that indicated to me that she might be on the fence about what she wants to do going forward and people like you read it as her attacking you and all women? Also, she didn't ask dads because she wasn't trying to win the politically correct contest, she was trying to find out what motivated other women to work rather than stay home with kids, which for many is a huge decision not made lightly.

Based on many comments on this thread I think one might conclude that working outside the home turns you into a nasty, sarcastic, defensive shrew who can't even just explain her decision without insults and vitriol.

But why do you have to explain your decision? You make a child who behaved poorly “explain their decision,” not a grown adult why they are an active participant in the workforce.

[Anonymous]

Because I have a brain and a PhD, and I intend to use them.