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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Do you ever shout at your kids?
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Anonymous
| Honestly. How often, how loud and do you think this is damaging or just part of life? |
Anonymous
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Rarely. Though yesterday I threw one of his toys across the room out of frustration right in front of him. He seemed puzzled, and I almost broke down bc I felt so awful that he saw me throw something that he loves. I must have looked so ugly to him doing it; I hate thinking about it.
But yelling/shouting--not so much. Just raise my voice, or snap at him when he's about to do something dangerous, actually, to get his attention quickly. |
Anonymous
| You may find that the answers vary depending on the age/number of the children. Almost never yelled at my infant/toddler. Now with two often squabbling preschoolers, I only wish I could say the same. |
Anonymous
| At my 3 year old-- more often that I care to admit. Well, ok-- maybe shouting is an exaggeration. But if I don't raise my voice, he completely tunes me out. No-- not a hearing problem; I could whisper "who wants ice cream?" from across the room, and he'd be in front of me in a flash. I keep saying I want to reserve shouting for emergencies, but when you are trying to manage a tantrumy preschooler, sometimes my nerves get frayed and I just can't help it. As for my toddler-- pretty much never. If I even slightly raise my voice to get her attention, she bursts into tears. Each kid is so different... |
Anonymous
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I've raised my voice but not shouted. My dd gets startled if she hears shouting and I don't want her to adopt the bad habit of shouting. I made a loud remark as I was watching tennis the other day and she asked, "What happened?"
If I raise my voice to get her to stop pounding on something, she'll just pound louder and harder, after I shout. If you shout now, you'll have to shout louder and louder as they grow, because they adapt to your yelling and it doesn't phase them. To get my cool before getting too frustrated, I have to walk away from her and take a breath. |
Anonymous
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My mom used to complain that no one ever took her seriously until she got angry. I feel that way now with my husband-- when I melt down and cry and scream, he said "why didn't you say anything before?" And the answer is, I did, over and over again. But I said it in a civilized, conversational tone, and you tuned me out because you were making love to the reports and spreadsheets on your computer.
I'm very worried that it will be that way with my baby, when she's older. To answer your question, I feel a little damaged that I can't recall very many instances of normal conversations with my mom, but I remember plenty of screaming. I want my kid to have happy childhood memories, not memories of an unhinged mama. |
Anonymous
| Why, yes. Yes I do. |
Anonymous
I yell at my three year old and throw things and slam doors. No, not proud of this behavior, but she pushes every button I have. She LOVES to make me angry, and will even pull down her pants and tell me to smack her heiny. Lovely. She also throws things and slams doors when she's mad. Lovely, yet again. Those of you who don't shout at your kids, how old are your kids? |
Anonymous
my dh makes love to his mac computer. I tell him at least 3 times I'm doing something: have a rec class, going to dinner with a friend, going shopping before I go. On my way out the door, he says I didn't communciate it to him. Ugh! |
Anonymous
I posted this. My dd is 3. |
Anonymous
| Oh HELL yes, despite trying not to do it. I have 10 and 12 year old boys. Sometimes it seems the only volume they hear is "very loud". |
Anonymous
| Oh absolutely. I have two teenage boys at home and it is a vital means of communication. |
Anonymous
I am almost eight months pregnant and find myself getting more short tempered with everyone, including my almost two year old. I shouted at him when he threw sweet potatoes on the wall and then poured water all over my dinner plate. I totally lost it after having a hard day at work and being overly tired and hormonal. I felt horrible because he started really crying. I've shouted at him a couple of times before. I apologized to him this time and the times before and try to keep it together. It's really hard at the end of the day when he's tired, I'm tired from work, I'm waddling around as fast as I can to get dinner on the table and DH works long hours. I HOPE that these incidents don't hurt him too much 
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Anonymous
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I do once a week or so (DS5), and it's certainly effective because it scares the tar out of him and he cowers and cries. He's terrified of loud sudden noises and is generally a very sensitive child.
So, yes, I am going to hell and he's probably going to therapy some day. |
Anonymous
| OMG YES! Yell, shout, whatever. I agree that for me, once I had two, and the sharing issues and sibling rivalry came through, I shouted a heck of a lot more than with just one. |