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did you quit your job before giving birth or rode it out for benefits, then quit?
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Anonymous
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Please tell me if you have dealt with this similar situation. Not sure the best thing to do here.
I know I am leaving my job after I have DC#2 this year. The maternity benefits aren't much, but I would get 2 weeks pay and short-term disability (a few hundred bucks). However, in order to collect this, I would have wait until several weeks after the baby is born to tell the organization I am leaving. (Don't really like the idea of keeping that to myself - especially in light of wanting to leave on good terms with my boss, who is pissed that I am pregnant anyway.) So I am contemplating just quitting now and leaving 1) a few weeks before due date and 2) with the potential gratitude from my colleagues that they will be able to replace me sooner than later. Any words of wisdom? |
Anonymous
| keep your benefits. you owe nothing to a boss who is pissed you are pregnant. just make sure you don't have to pay them back if you take another job quickly. |
Anonymous
| Can you cut a deal? Say I am considering leaving and if I do I want to give you time to find a replacement. If I decide to leave, could we agree on half benefits? |
Anonymous
| I was teaching at a private school and I left at the end of the school year the year before my child was born. She was born in December. I just didn't feel right pretending that I was going to go back after my maternity leave. |
Anonymous
I agree with this. Riding out for the benefits is dishonest, unethical and unprofessional. Your boss will be really pissed if you do this and not matter what you think, things like this can come back and bite you, bigtime. |
Anonymous
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You know, I felt like I should be honest and tell my employer I was not planning to return after the birth of my child, but I didn't give my notice until during my mat. leave because:
1) Whatever you think, you never know with 100% certainty that you aren't going to want to return. Even all the reasons you think you have now may change after the birth of your child-- you just never know. I thought: what if my husband loses his job? Then certainly I would have had to go back to work while he stayed home instead. Maybe you have sufficient savings, and just have decided you want to be home with both kids-- maybe a month of mat. leave could change your mind. There are all kinds of situations, esp. if you are a worrier like me, and dreadful events that could happen to make you think: I should have held on to my job for a little longer. 2) Your employer most likely will always act in their own best interest, and so you have to act in yours. They are NOT going to act in your best interest. Cynical? Yes. I felt like my boss was wonderful and would have gone to bat for me even if I'd wanted to take a year leave, but on the other hand I'd seen colleagues fired unceremoniously over the years and other decisions that showed how loyalty was not rewarded. I think it's something everyone is prepared for when a woman goes on maternity leave-- not everyone returns. I made sure to train the person filling in for me well and knew that she would eagerly accept the position if offered, so at least I could walk away feeling like I wasn't leaving my boss in the lurch. |
Anonymous
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I feel that it is wrong to pretend you are staying if you have no intention to stay.
Also - it might work out for you, but this type of behavior could hurt the chances of the next female candidate to get the job. And next time an employee gets pregnant, the boss would be more justified to get annoyed, as his past experience would show that this type of situation does not work out well. |
Anonymous
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As I read your post, it sounds like you already know the answer that is right for you. Do what should to help you leave with your head held high and your bridges unburned.
I did, and I am glad. I like PP's idea of negotiating the benefits. |
Anonymous
this is really stupid, and will probably get you fired |
Anonymous
| Do it. Give plenty of notice, help with transition, but leave when you want. But don't ride it out for the benefits if you have no intention of returning. It is slimy behavior and justifies anti-pregnancy discrimination. |
Anonymous
| EVERYONE I know left AFTER their benefits. I thought it was standard. There were no hard feelings... |
Anonymous
Maybe in your line of work, not mine. If benefits aren't flexible at OP's job, then she shouldn't ask because there is no point. |
Anonymous
this. if you tell them your are even thinking of leaving, they will assume you are going to leave. i think that it's a huge mistake to tell them that you are going to leave, because they can totally fire you. i don't think it's unethical or unprofessional at all. many women go on maternity leave and decide that they don't want to return to work. if you want the benefits, or think there might be a possibility that you'll return to work even part time, you should just take your leave and then give your notice. |
Anonymous
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It is unprofessional and unethical if it involves lying and not giving enough notice to find a replacement.
And it definitely does affect the view of your co-workers and boss about the downsides of hiring women. I am a woman with children and if I got burned by a pregnant woman like this, it would concern me when I made my next hiring decision. Don't do this to other women. |
Anonymous
| The truth is that you really DON'T know until the time comes. You can do this without technically being dishonest. If they ask you your plans you can say something vague like "I'm gonna plan to return an see how I feel about the juggle when I have two." or something to that effect. |