did you quit your job before giving birth or rode it out for benefits, then quit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is unprofessional and unethical if it involves lying and not giving enough notice to find a replacement.

And it definitely does affect the view of your co-workers and boss about the downsides of hiring women. I am a woman with children and if I got burned by a pregnant woman like this, it would concern me when I made my next hiring decision.

Don't do this to other women.

I agree. It really bothers me that people even consider doing this. Negotiate whatever makes sense for you, but don't tell them you're coming back if you have no intention of doing so.

[Anonymous]

Though I absolutely know my employer as a whole is thinking of themselves and putting themselves first (hello layoffs last year), that doesn't mean I have to be dishonest and leave my boss and other colleagues who have been nothing but nice to me in a lurch.

So I wouldn't be able to do take advantage of the benefits and leave at the last minute. Honestly, if just over two weeks pay is that important are you really in a financial position to quit work, or be out of the workforce for a long time? Something just doesn't add up. It just sounds a bit greedy to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is unprofessional and unethical if it involves lying and not giving enough notice to find a replacement.

And it definitely does affect the view of your co-workers and boss about the downsides of hiring women. I am a woman with children and if I got burned by a pregnant woman like this, it would concern me when I made my next hiring decision.

Don't do this to other women.

Agree 100%.

[Anonymous]

Mmm, I honestly don't know how anyone can be 100% sure that they won't return to their job after maternity leave, especially in this economy. Maybe if you're independently wealthy and hate your job, but then you'd have quit before now. I say be upfront about feeling ambivalent about what you'd like to do once the baby comes. (I don't imagine it's an option to not to say anything--surely your boss will inquire). And then wait and see what life looks like then. You just can't know.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all of the feedback... I welcome all suggestions. Keep it coming.

[Anonymous]

"Mmm, I honestly don't know how anyone can be 100% sure that they won't return to their job after maternity leave"

That's a cop out. I agree w/ others that it sets a bad image of working moms to take the benefits and leave. Maybe it's considered normal at a big company, but at my small trade association, my bosses would have been PISSED if i'd done this and it sure as heck would have reflected both on my recommedations from them, as well as on what they would likely agree to let future employees take (I was the first to take mat leave under their leadership of the association).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:EVERYONE I know left AFTER their benefits. I thought it was standard. There were no hard feelings...

I agree with this.... the company OWES you those benefits. WE have a crappy maternity policy in this country that favors corporate America over motherhood by a ten fold, so take advantage when you can.... you are barely getting anything anyway.

[Anonymous]

Our crappy maternity leave policies are the main reason women have to quit their jobs in the first place when they have a baby. It's awful. Take the benefits and don't feel bad about it FOR ONE SECOND.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truth is that you really DON'T know until the time comes. You can do this without technically being dishonest. If they ask you your plans you can say something vague like "I'm gonna plan to return an see how I feel about the juggle when I have two." or something to that effect.

How is it not dishonest to say "I'm gonna plan to return..." when she is clearly planning just the opposite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:EVERYONE I know left AFTER their benefits. I thought it was standard. There were no hard feelings...

I agree with this.... the company OWES you those benefits. WE have a crappy maternity policy in this country that favors corporate America over motherhood by a ten fold, so take advantage when you can.... you are barely getting anything anyway.

that's sooooo gutter

[Anonymous]

WWJD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:EVERYONE I know left AFTER their benefits. I thought it was standard. There were no hard feelings...

I agree with this.... the company OWES you those benefits. WE have a crappy maternity policy in this country that favors corporate America over motherhood by a ten fold, so take advantage when you can.... you are barely getting anything anyway.

This has absolutely nothing to do with OP's choice as to whether she should act honorable or not. We already know what you would do.

[Anonymous]

If when you joined the deal was benefits if you come back, not if you don't, then you know the deal, right?

How, as some PPs say, are the benefits "owed" to her if that is the plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the feedback... I welcome all suggestions. Keep it coming.

You have two choices: to be honest or to be known as a liar. What more is there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unprofessional and unethical if it involves lying and not giving enough notice to find a replacement.

And it definitely does affect the view of your co-workers and boss about the downsides of hiring women. I am a woman with children and if I got burned by a pregnant woman like this, it would concern me when I made my next hiring decision.

Don't do this to other women.

Agree 100%.

I have been burned by a woman who did this. I already had a kid and a flexible schedule, so I worked very hard to get her a similarly flexible schedule. And then she bailed at the last minute. Not completely analogous, OP, since it sounds like your employer is not particularly sympathetic. But it really does leave your firm in a bad position and not-inclined to recommend you in the future.

As a working mother who works at a relatively progressive company, I would never let this experience affect my future hiring decisions. And the other posters who note that maternity leave policies in this country suck are totally right--but acting selfishly and dishonestly isn't going to change that. More likely the opposite will happen--firms that offer even meager benefits that aren't legally mandated will pull them back if they get screwed often enough.