Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be taking baby with me too. Newborns need antibodies. If your baby has a fever and is <3 months old, they are supposed to go to the NICU. You should not be traveling. The safest way to travel is to at least give baby your antibodies.

What if the baby was exclusively formula-fed?

So I guess I should have just sent my kids to the NICU for the first three months since the were formula fed due to a double mastectomy. Good to know! I'll make sure to let my other friends know.

Your situation is completely different. However, would you choose to do this? During a pandemic leave your 8 week old?

No, it's not. Anyone who says that it's ok to formula feed babies of mothers who have had mastectomies or adopted babies but not babies who are with their biologically intact mothers is a hypocrite. It makes NO DIFFERENCE why someone would be formula feeding their baby. Just like COVID doesn't care if someone is doing something out of necessity or simply because they want to - the risks are exactly the same.

Do you honestly think OP is choosing to be in this situation? Have you ever had to be a caretaker for a parent? Do you have any idea how stressful that is? So if your question is would I choose to have a parent who required round-the-clock caregiving need me while I had an eight-week-old baby then the answer is obviously no. Just like OP would say she didn't choose to be in this situation. However, if I had to leave my eight-week old during a pandemic I'd thank my lucky stars that I have a husband who is fully capable of caring for our children by himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are doing the right thing, OP. The projection is some of these comments is astounding. Your father needs you now and your husband and baby will get some really great bonding time together. All will be well. Sending good health wishes to your dad (and his caretaker).

I'm sure Dad would be fine but, my baby would always come first.

You people are the absolute worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since your father only lives 2 hours away, go pick him up and bring him back to your house to stay with you for a week. No need to leave your baby for an entire week when he lives so close. This is sounding a little off. I mean this kindly OP, is it possible you are suffering from PPD and want to get away from your baby?

OP here. I’m not suffering from PPD. I love being with my baby, but one week won’t do any harm. He is in capable hands with his father. My dads house is well equipped for his issues, and ours is not. That is why we won’t have him at our place.

Honestly, this was my feeling, too. I would not have been able to leave my 8-week old baby, not even for a day, let alone a week. OP, just recognize it's a little bit unusual that you're okay doing this. And it is kind of symptom of PPD.

NO IT IS NOT.

OP, don't listen to these idiots.

Also, idiots, why are you so ok with shaming OP for leaving her child to go take care of a sick family member?

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a great Dad and husband. Making sure he has plenty of meals/food on hand and everything the baby would need - diapers, wipes, formula to make sure he doesn’t run out would be a big help. I would also ASK your husband what would be a big help to him while you’re gone! Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newborns basically sleep and eat. They’re the easiest age to take care of, provided they aren’t colicky, so I wouldn’t worry about the DH. And I think the posters who are outraged are (perhaps a little hyperbolically) reacting to the nonchalance in OP’s leaving her newborn for a week. Most women wouldn’t be so indifferent (?) to not being with their brand new infant for a week but who knows, maybe the text doesn’t translate emotions well or this is a troll.

OP here. I’m not a troll. I’m nervous and will my baby but I know he will be in great hands. He will be with his dad, not a stranger. I trust my husband and I know he is a capable of taking care of our baby for a week. My baby sleeps an 8 hour stretch at night, takes a bottle, and naps well. I would be more worried if it were another family member, but my husband is a great dad. He may not be me or a woman, but his male genitalia doesn’t make him any less of competent caregiver.

I say this kindly but this sounds like post partum depression. I know you’re in defensive mode right now but hopefully, if things get worse you’ll get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They will do great!! You will miss them both, especially baby, but they will be perfectly fine together.

I would prepare for the possibility that baby may not want to nurse when you get back, and you’ll need to be extremely careful about COVID exposure.

OP here. It's just my dad and he lives in a rural area. His caretaker injured her back and will be out for a week. My dad is high risk and partially disabled. He needs help and I'm the only one that can help him since I can drive to him.

Here’s an idea:

Why don’t you stay with the baby and your husband goes to help your dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newborns basically sleep and eat. They’re the easiest age to take care of, provided they aren’t colicky, so I wouldn’t worry about the DH. And I think the posters who are outraged are (perhaps a little hyperbolically) reacting to the nonchalance in OP’s leaving her newborn for a week. Most women wouldn’t be so indifferent (?) to not being with their brand new infant for a week but who knows, maybe the text doesn’t translate emotions well or this is a troll.

OP here. I’m not a troll. I’m nervous and will my baby but I know he will be in great hands. He will be with his dad, not a stranger. I trust my husband and I know he is a capable of taking care of our baby for a week. My baby sleeps an 8 hour stretch at night, takes a bottle, and naps well. I would be more worried if it were another family member, but my husband is a great dad. He may not be me or a woman, but his male genitalia doesn’t make him any less of competent caregiver.

I say this kindly but this sounds like post partum depression. I know you’re in defensive mode right now but hopefully, if things get worse you’ll get help.

What? it sounds like someone who trusts her husband and has his support. Not depression at all. PPD/PPA actually is produced by the attitudes of PPs who think all new mothers should be hyper vigilant and never leave their babies because husbands can’t be trusted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They will do great!! You will miss them both, especially baby, but they will be perfectly fine together.

I would prepare for the possibility that baby may not want to nurse when you get back, and you’ll need to be extremely careful about COVID exposure.

OP here. It's just my dad and he lives in a rural area. His caretaker injured her back and will be out for a week. My dad is high risk and partially disabled. He needs help and I'm the only one that can help him since I can drive to him.

Here’s an idea:

Why don’t you stay with the baby and your husband goes to help your dad?

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt your father would want you leaving your newborn for a week to tend to him. There is a brand new person who needs you the most. Hire someone to help your father or have your husband help your father.

This!! A million times this!!

It’s a 2 month old baby! If we want equality ladies we have to put our money where our mouth is and let your damn husband who is already on paternity leave step and take care of the baby.

If the greatest achievement of this version of feminism is making it mandatory for me to leave a newborn behind so I can perform different uncompensated family care that the state has also refused to provide in the middle of a pandemic that the state is exacerbating on pain of "not getting equality"...I'm not interested.

Mandatory? There's not a bill being passed that requires new mothers to leave 8 week old babies.

Some of you people are complete morons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you women shock me. It's a week. OP will be gone for a week. it's not like she is leaving for a month. Men leave for a week on business trips and no one says anything. Her child needs his dad just as much as he needs his mom. Her husband sounds like a great dad who will be able to handle things for a week. No need to make OP feel bad.

True, but baby is breastfed. That’s the key difference. I wouldn’t leave a breastfed baby for a week. It would mess up my milk supply (pumping is just not the same) and as another PP mentioned, babies at that age greatly benefit from the antibodies in their mother’s beast milk. Now if OP’s baby was exclusively formula-fed, then there wouldn’t be an issue.

Breastfeeding are highly overstated. There are very minimal benefits for a breastfed baby.

Dp The only reason is the lack of information because it is difficult for science to "test" the benefits of breastfeeding. Each woman makes milk specifically for their infant. Not shaming anyone who can't but, just because there are no studies does not mean it isn't good for you. After all, most studies are done on men and not on women.

Translation: "Yes, science doesn't have a lot of information on this point. But I know - I just know!! - that if science did have more info, the results would confirm my opinion. I know it!!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP-- I took a business trip at 8 weeks (not my choice, but necessary). My kid wasn't an easy baby, but it didn't go well. I ended up getting crazy clogged ducts because I wasn't a regular pumper and my kid was inconsable. He was up all night and it just wasn't okay. My husband is awesome, he handled it, but I had to cut the trip short (before people jump on me for being anti feminist, my kid went on a hunger strike and had to go to the hospital). The odds of that happening are really low and I'm not mentioning it to scare you, but because you may need a backup plan if things don't go well.

This. I mean, it’s awesome/amazing that this 8 week old sleeps 8 hours at night and naps well and takes a bottle. None of my 3 children slept 8 hour stretches or had a consistent nap schedule at that age at anywhere close to that age. Actually neither did my nieces or nephews or any of my friends’ babies. I guess this is a total unicorn baby. Fingers crossed that baby stays that way while OP is gone, or that DH can get some support if baby decides to stop sleeping.

But is Mom was alone with the baby for a week and it stopped sleeping, she'd be fine?

Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newborns basically sleep and eat. They’re the easiest age to take care of, provided they aren’t colicky, so I wouldn’t worry about the DH. And I think the posters who are outraged are (perhaps a little hyperbolically) reacting to the nonchalance in OP’s leaving her newborn for a week. Most women wouldn’t be so indifferent (?) to not being with their brand new infant for a week but who knows, maybe the text doesn’t translate emotions well or this is a troll.

OP here. I’m not a troll. I’m nervous and will my baby but I know he will be in great hands. He will be with his dad, not a stranger. I trust my husband and I know he is a capable of taking care of our baby for a week. My baby sleeps an 8 hour stretch at night, takes a bottle, and naps well. I would be more worried if it were another family member, but my husband is a great dad. He may not be me or a woman, but his male genitalia doesn’t make him any less of competent caregiver.

I say this kindly but this sounds like post partum depression. I know you’re in defensive mode right now but hopefully, if things get worse you’ll get help.

NP here. OP does NOT sound like she has PPD. She sounds gracious under repeated scathing attacks. She didn't post here debating whether to do this or not; she's already made up her mind and you don't need to be privy to whatever angst there may or may not have been in making this decision.

OP, your only mistake is asking the bitches of DCUM for advice.

[Anonymous]

Mom of 4 here. Ignore he haters. Your husband and baby will be just fine.

So much for feminism on DCUm!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of 4 here. Ignore he haters. Your husband and baby will be just fine.

So much for feminism on DCUm!!

Do you even know what feminism is? Let me give you a hint, it doesn't mean giving up our biological maternal instincts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newborns basically sleep and eat. They’re the easiest age to take care of, provided they aren’t colicky, so I wouldn’t worry about the DH. And I think the posters who are outraged are (perhaps a little hyperbolically) reacting to the nonchalance in OP’s leaving her newborn for a week. Most women wouldn’t be so indifferent (?) to not being with their brand new infant for a week but who knows, maybe the text doesn’t translate emotions well or this is a troll.

OP here. I’m not a troll. I’m nervous and will my baby but I know he will be in great hands. He will be with his dad, not a stranger. I trust my husband and I know he is a capable of taking care of our baby for a week. My baby sleeps an 8 hour stretch at night, takes a bottle, and naps well. I would be more worried if it were another family member, but my husband is a great dad. He may not be me or a woman, but his male genitalia doesn’t make him any less of competent caregiver.

I say this kindly but this sounds like post partum depression. I know you’re in defensive mode right now but hopefully, if things get worse you’ll get help.

How on earth does this sound like PPD?