What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i grew up dirt poor and this thread is shit. that's it, that's the comment.

Why? Because of the uneven distribution of wealth? Lack of social safety nets? Can you explain?

NP and I agree. It's shit because it betrays a complete lack of class on the part of most of the posters.

Yes, it is weird to me that so many people are dying to chime in. I get it, these are things you never get to talk about, but it reads as here's what sets us apart, and bragging about something that was handed to them. And the shallow nature of a lot of it it is hard to stomach and give me a break with all of the glowing values that people think are exclusive to UMC UC. They value "hard work" but really it's their privilege that has afforded them this lifestyle. Plenty of LMC and MC people work their asses off every day to provide for their families. I guess I should look away but it's hard. Seriously though OP, if you think these check-list items are going to add value to your children's lives I'd be careful. Trust me, I see these things from the inside. There is a thing as too much. Some of these things are nice, but many of these children are crumbling under these expectations with a lack of perspective for the world outside of their bubble.

I’m participating because this topic is normally taboo and therefore somewhat interesting to me.

But mostly, I am sick to death of reading and talking about corona.

God THIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are UMC.

-My kids got full college and higher education paid off.
-Vacations (once a year) abroad. Flying economy, staying in nice enough hotels but not resorts.
- 100K seed money when they launch
- 1st new car
- Clothes from Macy's and Kohls.
- Access to our Amazon Prime, Uber, Starbucks, Paypal, Spotify, NYT/WaPo, Online Learning, Kohls and Macy's Accounts
- Tutors and coaches, music lessons
- ECs
- Lots of educational and recreational camps
- Medical and dental care
- Cleaning service, home cooked meals, mom and dad dropping and picking up in car to school, SAH Mom,
- Huge social circle, entertaining at home, big parties.
- Christmas gifts to teachers
- Eating out frequently, being exposed to different cuisines,
- Exposure to different languages
- Lots of tech and expensive hobby materials (computers, cameras, drones)
- Expensive gear for outdoor hobbies
- Lavish birthday parties
- Lessons on car safety
- Beautiful SFH to live in, own bedroom

What they did not get -
- Designer clothes and designer gear
- Private schools
- Expensive undergraduate private colleges.
- Expensive homes in expensive neighborhoods
- Daycare, nannies
- Formula
- Expensive camps, sleepaway camps
- Broke parents

You sound like new money who doesn't care about education.

Do I? I apologize. Education was covered. All three kids have been/ are in highly competitive magnet programs in our public school system, so we did not see the need for private schools. We did not pay a premium for our SFH because the schools were not that great, but we were not impacted for education, knock on wood. Full merit ride in state flagship university in STEM field for undergrad, grants, paid internships etc. Education worked out wonderfully. Kids worked hard. What I could not help with in terms of academics, we hired the best tutors.

[Anonymous]

UMC and UC are very different. I’m surprised this is a combined thread.

UMC is basically a glorified MC where the only extra is some travel and maybe maid/lawn service.

UC is obviously much different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are UMC.

-My kids got full college and higher education paid off.
-Vacations (once a year) abroad. Flying economy, staying in nice enough hotels but not resorts.
- 100K seed money when they launch
- 1st new car
- Clothes from Macy's and Kohls.
- Access to our Amazon Prime, Uber, Starbucks, Paypal, Spotify, NYT/WaPo, Online Learning, Kohls and Macy's Accounts
- Tutors and coaches, music lessons
- ECs
- Lots of educational and recreational camps
- Medical and dental care
- Cleaning service, home cooked meals, mom and dad dropping and picking up in car to school, SAH Mom,
- Huge social circle, entertaining at home, big parties.
- Christmas gifts to teachers
- Eating out frequently, being exposed to different cuisines,
- Exposure to different languages
- Lots of tech and expensive hobby materials (computers, cameras, drones)
- Expensive gear for outdoor hobbies
- Lavish birthday parties
- Lessons on car safety
- Beautiful SFH to live in, own bedroom

What they did not get -
- Designer clothes and designer gear
- Private schools
- Expensive undergraduate private colleges.
- Expensive homes in expensive neighborhoods
- Daycare, nannies
- Formula
- Expensive camps, sleepaway camps
- Broke parents

It's the lactivist SAHM troll! Was waiting for you to arrive.

Hey, you save money when you do not buy formula. I don't apologize for my choice.

+ In these new reality of supply chain disruption and food hoarding, you should be grateful not every baby will be FF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UMC and UC are very different. I’m surprised this is a combined thread.

UMC is basically a glorified MC where the only extra is some travel and maybe maid/lawn service.

UC is obviously much different.

I think you are very correct. I am UMC by HHI, but my spending pattern, culture and relationship with money is entirely MC. I also do not have the confidence of UC that the good times will roll forever. I am always prepping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Well..duh.

I am mostly with you, but access to parents’ Prime, Starbucks verges on spoiling. Lavish birthday parties are tacky and frivolous, in my opinion. A home in an expensive neighborhood is worth it.

We are a donut-hole family and our kids got full merit rides. We gave them access to our accounts and got them debit cards so that they could buy whatever they needed -clothes, groceries, supplies etc and were never stuck in some dangerous situation and could not call Uber etc. They were away from home at college or at different cities for internships and we wanted to keep them well fed, safe, properly attired etc. Thankfully, my kids are pampered but not spoilt. Plus, giving them access to our account meant that we were actually monitoring what they were buying.

Lavish birthdays are very much in keeping with our culture and common in our immigrant social circle. And once the kids were in middle school they were not interested in huge celebrations anyways.

I like having a big, beautiful, tastefully decorated, new, spacious and comfortable house. In our neck of the woods though the price of homes was determined by the prestige of the associated public schools. Public schools were not a big motivator for me so we bought a house I loved in a neighborhood that I liked. Thankfully, kids did well enough to go to public magnet schools so we also bypassed the private school cost. Any exposure to regular public school that my kids got was not honestly not bad. Since we are immigrants, diversity of all kinds is very acceptable to us. My main driver has always been that the curriculum should be very strong and the classroom should not have disruptive elements so that my kids can learn.

As an UMC person whose upbringing was MC - my mentality and sensibilities is more MC than UC. For example - I will not spend money on a bunch of flowers, I will buy a flowering perennial that I can plant in my yard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC and UC are very different. I’m surprised this is a combined thread.

UMC is basically a glorified MC where the only extra is some travel and maybe maid/lawn service.

UC is obviously much different.

I think you are very correct. I am UMC by HHI, but my spending pattern, culture and relationship with money is entirely MC. I also do not have the confidence of UC that the good times will roll forever. I am always prepping.

In the DMV

UMC is 150k-300k income

Upper class is 300k and up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC and UC are very different. I’m surprised this is a combined thread.

UMC is basically a glorified MC where the only extra is some travel and maybe maid/lawn service.

UC is obviously much different.

I think you are very correct. I am UMC by HHI, but my spending pattern, culture and relationship with money is entirely MC. I also do not have the confidence of UC that the good times will roll forever. I am always prepping.

In the DMV

UMC is 150k-300k income

Upper class is 300k and up

And that;s household average HHI income in this area is around 110k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC and UC are very different. I’m surprised this is a combined thread.

UMC is basically a glorified MC where the only extra is some travel and maybe maid/lawn service.

UC is obviously much different.

I think you are very correct. I am UMC by HHI, but my spending pattern, culture and relationship with money is entirely MC. I also do not have the confidence of UC that the good times will roll forever. I am always prepping.

In the DMV

UMC is 150k-300k income

Upper class is 300k and up[/quote]

Wow! Are you sure?

Above means that we are UC. I still behave like an MC person and live an MC life with perks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice house on a quiet, leafy street with other children their age to play with. I’m picturing something from a Nancy Meyer movie - a big old colonial or Victorian that has a ton of old school charm but updated kitchens and bathrooms with modern finishes.

Lots of books for every member of the household.

A piano or other musical instruments.

Parents who are home early enough every night for family dinner at 6 or 6:30.

Bonus points for at least one parent being able to get home early enough to greet kids off the school bus, give them a snack, hear about their day, host play dates, take them to activities, etc. In our house, it’s my husband (doctor with a flex schedule) who does this!

If parents are unable to be home early like this, a typical UNC/UC family will hire a housekeeper to perform the role plus cook, clean, and run errands.

Parents who value education which means a top private or public school. Parents should volunteer in the schools regularly and help with homework and projects. Parents should save for college so they are able to pay 100% of their kids’ schools of choice so they have no student debt.

Private music and sports lessons. Typical UMC/UC families belong to a country club, where their children learn to swim, play tennis and golf (at least the boys anyway, the girls might choose something like horseback riding or dance), and ski.

Vacations: the typical schedule seems to me to be an annual ski trip out West, a trip to the Caribbean to escape winter weather, 10 days to 2 weeks in Europe, PLUS 1-2 weeks at a nice East Coast beach. Richer folk will have their own beach house. At least this is what I’ve observed among the he people I know in CC, Bethesda, and Arlington.

Sleep away summer camp for tween years

New car at 16 (doesn’t have to be extravagant)

Semester abroad in college

UMC parent here. A lot of high income families don’t have two parents home for dinner by 6:30. People with big jobs often have dinners out or travel. And a stay at home parent.

Eh depends on age and seniority. The older/more senior you get, the easier it is to make your own schedule and prioritize family time.

Not all UMC or UC parents prioritize family time, you know.

My dad, for example, prioritized golf and his planes. We had a polite, distant relationship and loved each other, but he wasn't at the family dinner table every night.

Actually, I wasn't at the family dinner table every night, either. I was often at study groups or working with my horse/at Pony Club events. My mom was a horse show mom and we often spent weekends away for competitions. We were a very busy family.

LMC kids were the ones who went home, did their homework and watched tv, and then had dinner with mom and dad every night. Maybe they had the odd school basketball or soccer game every now and then, but mostly they were all there.

I would rather be LMC and see my parents every night.

Yeah. So would every kid. But people aren’t going to put their lives and careers on hold based on the preferences of a seven year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC and UC are very different. I’m surprised this is a combined thread.

UMC is basically a glorified MC where the only extra is some travel and maybe maid/lawn service.

UC is obviously much different.

I think you are very correct. I am UMC by HHI, but my spending pattern, culture and relationship with money is entirely MC. I also do not have the confidence of UC that the good times will roll forever. I am always prepping.

In the DMV

UMC is 150k-300k income

Upper class is 300k and up[/quote]

Wow! Are you sure?

Above means that we are UC. I still behave like an MC person and live an MC life with perks.

yup that the quintile system

UMC is 60-80% income

UC is 80% and up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice house on a quiet, leafy street with other children their age to play with. I’m picturing something from a Nancy Meyer movie - a big old colonial or Victorian that has a ton of old school charm but updated kitchens and bathrooms with modern finishes.

Lots of books for every member of the household.

A piano or other musical instruments.

Parents who are home early enough every night for family dinner at 6 or 6:30.

Bonus points for at least one parent being able to get home early enough to greet kids off the school bus, give them a snack, hear about their day, host play dates, take them to activities, etc. In our house, it’s my husband (doctor with a flex schedule) who does this!

If parents are unable to be home early like this, a typical UNC/UC family will hire a housekeeper to perform the role plus cook, clean, and run errands.

Parents who value education which means a top private or public school. Parents should volunteer in the schools regularly and help with homework and projects. Parents should save for college so they are able to pay 100% of their kids’ schools of choice so they have no student debt.

Private music and sports lessons. Typical UMC/UC families belong to a country club, where their children learn to swim, play tennis and golf (at least the boys anyway, the girls might choose something like horseback riding or dance), and ski.

Vacations: the typical schedule seems to me to be an annual ski trip out West, a trip to the Caribbean to escape winter weather, 10 days to 2 weeks in Europe, PLUS 1-2 weeks at a nice East Coast beach. Richer folk will have their own beach house. At least this is what I’ve observed among the he people I know in CC, Bethesda, and Arlington.

Sleep away summer camp for tween years

New car at 16 (doesn’t have to be extravagant)

Semester abroad in college

UMC parent here. A lot of high income families don’t have two parents home for dinner by 6:30. People with big jobs often have dinners out or travel. And a stay at home parent.

Eh depends on age and seniority. The older/more senior you get, the easier it is to make your own schedule and prioritize family time.

Not all UMC or UC parents prioritize family time, you know.

My dad, for example, prioritized golf and his planes. We had a polite, distant relationship and loved each other, but he wasn't at the family dinner table every night.

Actually, I wasn't at the family dinner table every night, either. I was often at study groups or working with my horse/at Pony Club events. My mom was a horse show mom and we often spent weekends away for competitions. We were a very busy family.

LMC kids were the ones who went home, did their homework and watched tv, and then had dinner with mom and dad every night. Maybe they had the odd school basketball or soccer game every now and then, but mostly they were all there.

I would rather be LMC and see my parents every night.

Yeah. So would every kid. But people aren’t going to put their lives and careers on hold based on the preferences of a seven year old.

NP. Wow. Such screwed up values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all of the above, I would add in some smaller details like:

Fresh flowers replaced weekly several in public rooms and/or guest bedrooms

Expensive, nice, hand made furniture and rugs (no Ikea or wood veneer)

Hand made, one of a kid art (no reproductions or posters)

Efforts to keep house and lawn tidy (usually outsourced to others)

Organic fruits and veggies, free range meats and eggs

Eating out at nicer restaurants as a family a few times a month

Mother gets professional beauty treatments (hair, nails, pedi, wax) rather than doing it herself

Kids always have nice clothing that is well kept and fits. No hand me downs. More Mini Boden or Tea than Target.

Lol actually a lot of UMC families buy Target clothing for the kids but spend on other things like good colleges.

This sounds like what a LMC thinks the UMC live like.

Eh. Target is cheap and tacky. I hate character stuff or ugly graphics. Tea and Boden are much nicer and not that much more expensive if you buy on sale or have a promo code. They almost always have some type of promo they are running. The difference is like 10 or 15 bucks, something negligible.

There is stuff at Target that is much better looking than Tea. It’s not where you shop, it’s what you buy. My daughter has clothes from Wal-Mart (basic shorts, pants and shirts, no characters or logos or printed figures) and Neiman Marcus, in addition to everywhere in between (Nordstrom, Target, Baby Gap, Tea, Carter’s, Macy’s, Hannah Anderson, Lilly Pulitzer).

Lmao about how clothes are the determining factor to UMC or LMC. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice house on a quiet, leafy street with other children their age to play with. I’m picturing something from a Nancy Meyer movie - a big old colonial or Victorian that has a ton of old school charm but updated kitchens and bathrooms with modern finishes.

Lots of books for every member of the household.

A piano or other musical instruments.

Parents who are home early enough every night for family dinner at 6 or 6:30.

Bonus points for at least one parent being able to get home early enough to greet kids off the school bus, give them a snack, hear about their day, host play dates, take them to activities, etc. In our house, it’s my husband (doctor with a flex schedule) who does this!

If parents are unable to be home early like this, a typical UNC/UC family will hire a housekeeper to perform the role plus cook, clean, and run errands.

Parents who value education which means a top private or public school. Parents should volunteer in the schools regularly and help with homework and projects. Parents should save for college so they are able to pay 100% of their kids’ schools of choice so they have no student debt.

Private music and sports lessons. Typical UMC/UC families belong to a country club, where their children learn to swim, play tennis and golf (at least the boys anyway, the girls might choose something like horseback riding or dance), and ski.

Vacations: the typical schedule seems to me to be an annual ski trip out West, a trip to the Caribbean to escape winter weather, 10 days to 2 weeks in Europe, PLUS 1-2 weeks at a nice East Coast beach. Richer folk will have their own beach house. At least this is what I’ve observed among the he people I know in CC, Bethesda, and Arlington.

Sleep away summer camp for tween years

New car at 16 (doesn’t have to be extravagant)

Semester abroad in college

UMC parent here. A lot of high income families don’t have two parents home for dinner by 6:30. People with big jobs often have dinners out or travel. And a stay at home parent.

Eh depends on age and seniority. The older/more senior you get, the easier it is to make your own schedule and prioritize family time.

Not all UMC or UC parents prioritize family time, you know.

My dad, for example, prioritized golf and his planes. We had a polite, distant relationship and loved each other, but he wasn't at the family dinner table every night.

Actually, I wasn't at the family dinner table every night, either. I was often at study groups or working with my horse/at Pony Club events. My mom was a horse show mom and we often spent weekends away for competitions. We were a very busy family.

LMC kids were the ones who went home, did their homework and watched tv, and then had dinner with mom and dad every night. Maybe they had the odd school basketball or soccer game every now and then, but mostly they were all there.

I would rather be LMC and see my parents every night.

Yeah. So would every kid. But people aren’t going to put their lives and careers on hold based on the preferences of a seven year old.

NP. Wow. Such screwed up values.

Whatever. It’s fine for kids to know they aren’t the center of the universe. There are sick people or people who need mommy’s help right now, and that’s important too.

[Anonymous]

Idyllic? As you said assuming loving, attentive, supportive parents, to me personally an idyllic childhood means lots of time and space/means to explore and play with friends, mostly outdoors without parents hovering. Like, getting outside to play, finding friends and going for bikes rides exploring the woods, lakes and just having plain "adventures" with their friends.

A house that is not pristine and looks "lived in" with some mess and nice smell of home cooking and baking.

Financially, having the opportunity to live in a house (doesn't need to be big) but comfortable and allowing for a personal/private space.

Opportunity (financial) to explore talents and hobbies as they show interest, but not being overloaded with activities to the point that they spend more awake hours out of the house going from one place to another.

Family vacations, be it at Europe, Disney, campgroung or the beach renting a house with extended family.

THAT to me is an idyllic childhood.