What are the classic components of an UMC or UC American childhood?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UMC kids are busy with activities and some of them are quite pricey. Lacrosse, field hockey, tennis, skiing, and rowing are the most common sports. Then they’ll often do piano or some other private music lessons. Tutoring, too, especially in high school and when it comes to standardized tests. I grew up in a semi-rural area so I always associate horseback riding with country people who spent all their money on horses, but I know it’s also a very common upper-upper class thing. Not so sure about UMC though.

Country club membership, though that may be falling out of fashion with millennials. Swim club memberships for sure though.

Nice house (4+ bedrooms in a leafy suburb), with a weekly housekeeper and a nanny.

UMC often chooses public schools, so they make sure to buy in a good suburb. No day care if two working parents - they use a nanny instead, and a babysitter for after school. Kids go to half day church/private preschool quite young - before 2 if possible, or having just turned 2, and they go 4-5 mornings a week.

No pinching pennies on travel but many do a lot of domestic trips. Expensive hotel at Disney World is very common, so is a beach house rental at the Outer Banks or Hilton Head. City travel for cultural experiences, later elementary kids and up are seeing musicals on Broadway. Vacation home somewhere relatively nearby for long weekend trips, this is often a mountain or lake home as opposed to a beach home. Ski trip once per winter. International trips less common, maybe every 3 years, or every other year for Caribbean/Mexico/etc.

House full of latest gadgets and two newer cars. Not necessarily luxury, but definitely newer, nothing falling apart and they don’t tend to drive cars into the ground. Kids get a basic, but still new (or close to new) car when they learn to drive.

This seems pretty accurate with the exception of both parents being home every night. Often the jobs that earn these kinds of salaries come with long hours and travel. One or both parents will also be working some of the time during these vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we're UMC.

Nice house in safe neighborhood in FFX County
Built in pool in the backyard.
Kids do plenty of activities.
We boat.
Grandparents with vacation homes in mountains and beach.
Skiing in the winter, multiple ski trips, local mountains every other weekend.

Kids are too young, but when they're 16 they'll get late model Hondas or Toyotas to drive.
529s for college.

You sound MC with UMC or UC parents, which is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we're UMC.

Nice house in safe neighborhood in FFX County
Built in pool in the backyard.
Kids do plenty of activities.
We boat.
Grandparents with vacation homes in mountains and beach.
Skiing in the winter, multiple ski trips, local mountains every other weekend.

Kids are too young, but when they're 16 they'll get late model Hondas or Toyotas to drive.
529s for college.

What does "we boat" mean? You have a boat? What size? Or you rent one?

I actually thought the posh thing was sailing, not "boating".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice house on a quiet, leafy street with other children their age to play with. I’m picturing something from a Nancy Meyer movie - a big old colonial or Victorian that has a ton of old school charm but updated kitchens and bathrooms with modern finishes.

Lots of books for every member of the household.

A piano or other musical instruments.

Parents who are home early enough every night for family dinner at 6 or 6:30.

Bonus points for at least one parent being able to get home early enough to greet kids off the school bus, give them a snack, hear about their day, host play dates, take them to activities, etc. In our house, it’s my husband (doctor with a flex schedule) who does this!

If parents are unable to be home early like this, a typical UNC/UC family will hire a housekeeper to perform the role plus cook, clean, and run errands.

Parents who value education which means a top private or public school. Parents should volunteer in the schools regularly and help with homework and projects. Parents should save for college so they are able to pay 100% of their kids’ schools of choice so they have no student debt.

Private music and sports lessons. Typical UMC/UC families belong to a country club, where their children learn to swim, play tennis and golf (at least the boys anyway, the girls might choose something like horseback riding or dance), and ski.

Vacations: the typical schedule seems to me to be an annual ski trip out West, a trip to the Caribbean to escape winter weather, 10 days to 2 weeks in Europe, PLUS 1-2 weeks at a nice East Coast beach. Richer folk will have their own beach house. At least this is what I’ve observed among the he people I know in CC, Bethesda, and Arlington.

Sleep away summer camp for tween years

New car at 16 (doesn’t have to be extravagant)

Semester abroad in college

UMC parent here. A lot of high income families don’t have two parents home for dinner by 6:30. People with big jobs often have dinners out or travel. And a stay at home parent.

Eh depends on age and seniority. The older/more senior you get, the easier it is to make your own schedule and prioritize family time.

Maybe. I don’t remember any of my friends parents being home every night. I know that my dad wasn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice house on a quiet, leafy street with other children their age to play with. I’m picturing something from a Nancy Meyer movie - a big old colonial or Victorian that has a ton of old school charm but updated kitchens and bathrooms with modern finishes.

Lots of books for every member of the household.

A piano or other musical instruments.

Parents who are home early enough every night for family dinner at 6 or 6:30.

Bonus points for at least one parent being able to get home early enough to greet kids off the school bus, give them a snack, hear about their day, host play dates, take them to activities, etc. In our house, it’s my husband (doctor with a flex schedule) who does this!

If parents are unable to be home early like this, a typical UNC/UC family will hire a housekeeper to perform the role plus cook, clean, and run errands.

Parents who value education which means a top private or public school. Parents should volunteer in the schools regularly and help with homework and projects. Parents should save for college so they are able to pay 100% of their kids’ schools of choice so they have no student debt.

Private music and sports lessons. Typical UMC/UC families belong to a country club, where their children learn to swim, play tennis and golf (at least the boys anyway, the girls might choose something like horseback riding or dance), and ski.

Vacations: the typical schedule seems to me to be an annual ski trip out West, a trip to the Caribbean to escape winter weather, 10 days to 2 weeks in Europe, PLUS 1-2 weeks at a nice East Coast beach. Richer folk will have their own beach house. At least this is what I’ve observed among the he people I know in CC, Bethesda, and Arlington.

Sleep away summer camp for tween years

New car at 16 (doesn’t have to be extravagant)

Semester abroad in college

UMC parent here. A lot of high income families don’t have two parents home for dinner by 6:30. People with big jobs often have dinners out or travel. And a stay at home parent.

Eh depends on age and seniority. The older/more senior you get, the easier it is to make your own schedule and prioritize family time.

Maybe. I don’t remember any of my friends parents being home every night. I know that my dad wasn’t.

Probably because men didn’t really prioritize their families in the same way Dads are expected to now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up UMC, and for me and my friends it was:
- Expensive sports (think horseback riding)
- Private school (K-12), followed by mostly private college with some top state schools thrown in
- Vacation houses
- Travel, lots of it, including internationally (no weeks in the Outer Banks every summer)
- Sleepaway camps all over the country and world
- Lots of parties, like pretty fabulous birthday parties and sleepovers with really cool activities
- Tons of toys (we didn't have gadgets like Apple watched back then but I'd think something like that is probably in now)
- Great clothes (I'm a girl so maybe I cared about this more than boys would)
- Cars at 16

I don’t think this is UMC. Maybe not Forbes top 100 in wealth, but probably top 5%

The top 5% household income is about $160,000 per year in the US. I don’t think this lifestyle is attainable on that.

The problem is there’s a lot of higher income people in this area, and a lot of lifestyle inflation as a result. If you were making a HHI of $160k in, like, St. Louis, you could live pretty close to this lifestyle IMO but private K-12 and private college might be out of reach if there’s no wealthy grandparents to bankroll. You’d probably have to make $300k HHI in the DC area for the same lifestyle.

I don’t think so. My income is higher than that (me, occupational therapist at $80K and DH a professor at $90K) in a fairly low COL area (Milwaukee, WI) and I can’t relate to most of this. I have to laugh at the idea of my kids going to sleep away camps all over the world or vacation houses or multiple international trips every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up UMC, and for me and my friends it was:
- Expensive sports (think horseback riding)
- Private school (K-12), followed by mostly private college with some top state schools thrown in
- Vacation houses
- Travel, lots of it, including internationally (no weeks in the Outer Banks every summer)
- Sleepaway camps all over the country and world
- Lots of parties, like pretty fabulous birthday parties and sleepovers with really cool activities
- Tons of toys (we didn't have gadgets like Apple watched back then but I'd think something like that is probably in now)
- Great clothes (I'm a girl so maybe I cared about this more than boys would)
- Cars at 16

I don’t think this is UMC. Maybe not Forbes top 100 in wealth, but probably top 5%

The top 5% household income is about $160,000 per year in the US. I don’t think this lifestyle is attainable on that.

The problem is there’s a lot of higher income people in this area, and a lot of lifestyle inflation as a result. If you were making a HHI of $160k in, like, St. Louis, you could live pretty close to this lifestyle IMO but private K-12 and private college might be out of reach if there’s no wealthy grandparents to bankroll. You’d probably have to make $300k HHI in the DC area for the same lifestyle.

HA! We make $300k and have no debt other than mortgage and there’s no way we can afford all that. Cut out the travel and vacation homes and limit travel to 2x a year (outside of family visits) and we could probably do it.

[Anonymous]

UMC in an Urban environment and LMAO at the house descriptions. We have had the same Nanny for 10 years (educated mid-westerner who was a former kindergarten teacher), sleep away camp, travel to six continents so far, private schools, swim team, sailing, tennis, golf, plus enrichment activities like summers in Spain for language school, tutors, volunteer opportunities (with animals) and luckily our DCs are kind souls. I did not grow up well-off.

[Anonymous]

^^ Meant to write, cut out the private school and vacation homes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UMC in an Urban environment and LMAO at the house descriptions. We have had the same Nanny for 10 years (educated mid-westerner who was a former kindergarten teacher), sleep away camp, travel to six continents so far, private schools, swim team, sailing, tennis, golf, plus enrichment activities like summers in Spain for language school, tutors, volunteer opportunities (with animals) and luckily our DCs are kind souls. I did not grow up well-off.

Forgot about the skiing and we use in-laws beach house and ski-condo at the bottom of the gondola. We see no reason to buy our own (we could) because these are available 90% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UMC in an Urban environment and LMAO at the house descriptions. We have had the same Nanny for 10 years (educated mid-westerner who was a former kindergarten teacher), sleep away camp, travel to six continents so far, private schools, swim team, sailing, tennis, golf, plus enrichment activities like summers in Spain for language school, tutors, volunteer opportunities (with animals) and luckily our DCs are kind souls. I did not grow up well-off.

What is your HHI? Either you’re overspending or really UC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- physically going to church every Sunday
- toys/electronics whenever you want them
- books and maybe clothes for Christmas and birthdays; no toys after about the age of five
- college is expected
- parents monitor grades and homework regularly/daily
- summer jobs required, but it doesn’t matter how much money you actually make

It’s usually the lower or middle class who attend church. And kids don’t often have summer jobs. They go to camps or pursue other activities over the summer to better themselves at a hobby or sport.

Not true. Go to church. See who is there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nice house on a quiet, leafy street with other children their age to play with. I’m picturing something from a Nancy Meyer movie - a big old colonial or Victorian that has a ton of old school charm but updated kitchens and bathrooms with modern finishes.

Lots of books for every member of the household.

A piano or other musical instruments.

Parents who are home early enough every night for family dinner at 6 or 6:30.

Bonus points for at least one parent being able to get home early enough to greet kids off the school bus, give them a snack, hear about their day, host play dates, take them to activities, etc. In our house, it’s my husband (doctor with a flex schedule) who does this!

If parents are unable to be home early like this, a typical UNC/UC family will hire a housekeeper to perform the role plus cook, clean, and run errands.

Parents who value education which means a top private or public school. Parents should volunteer in the schools regularly and help with homework and projects. Parents should save for college so they are able to pay 100% of their kids’ schools of choice so they have no student debt.

Private music and sports lessons. Typical UMC/UC families belong to a country club, where their children learn to swim, play tennis and golf (at least the boys anyway, the girls might choose something like horseback riding or dance), and ski.

Vacations: the typical schedule seems to me to be an annual ski trip out West, a trip to the Caribbean to escape winter weather, 10 days to 2 weeks in Europe, PLUS 1-2 weeks at a nice East Coast beach. Richer folk will have their own beach house. At least this is what I’ve observed among the he people I know in CC, Bethesda, and Arlington.

Sleep away summer camp for tween years

New car at 16 (doesn’t have to be extravagant)

Semester abroad in college

UMC parent here. A lot of high income families don’t have two parents home for dinner by 6:30. People with big jobs often have dinners out or travel. And a stay at home parent.

Eh depends on age and seniority. The older/more senior you get, the easier it is to make your own schedule and prioritize family time.

Maybe. I don’t remember any of my friends parents being home every night. I know that my dad wasn’t.

Probably because men didn’t really prioritize their families in the same way Dads are expected to now.

Uh huh. Is your work culture all about prioritizing families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC in an Urban environment and LMAO at the house descriptions. We have had the same Nanny for 10 years (educated mid-westerner who was a former kindergarten teacher), sleep away camp, travel to six continents so far, private schools, swim team, sailing, tennis, golf, plus enrichment activities like summers in Spain for language school, tutors, volunteer opportunities (with animals) and luckily our DCs are kind souls. I did not grow up well-off.

What is your HHI? Either you’re overspending or really UC

It varies but combined 7 figures +

[Anonymous]

From growing up UMC - less stress around finances, making ends meet, cutting coupons, economizing, monetary trade-offs like if you want to play soccer, you can’t get that video game system.

As a result, more relaxed parents who can get involved in schoolwork and monitor your social life.

On the other hand, many UMC families have less involved grandparents or aunts/uncles compared to LC families.