How many people on this forum (50+) with kids in elementary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ I agree!

I “waited” because I didn’t get married until 37 (and didn’t meet until 36). First at 37, second at 39.

Kinda wish I was younger, but sometimes the choice isn’t have a kid when younger versus have a kid when older. In my case, the choice was have a kid when older versus not have kids.

I got married at 28, but we didn’t want kids right away. We waited 7 years. I had mine kids at 35 and a month after I turned 38. No Ivf or finding mr. right late problems. We just weren’t ready and were enjoying a childfree life.

[Anonymous]

51 with an 8 year old and parents edging in on 90. Nothing like dealing with school-aged children and aging parents simultaneously!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 54 YO Mom with a just turned 8 DD. She was our miracle surprise baby after 5 rounds of IVF to get her older brother who is 11. I had her when I was 46–I often think how young I was when her brother was born! I remember the parenting class at VHC in Arlington when he was born—I think I was the youngest mom in attendance at 42!

That doesn't sound too bad but then you do the math and you'll be 64 when she graduates high school? I can't fathom it.

I'm an older parent who had older parents. My dad was 50 when I was born, my mom was 46. I was a "surprise" addition to their large family. When my dad was 90, he told me: "Thanks for always making me feel young." When you have older parents, you don't think it's weird because it's your life. It's what you know. I loved my parents' perspective. They were never rattled, they were unflappable, they had seen it all. They had a wisdom and a quiet confidence that the younger parents could never have. I feel very lucky to have had older parents.

Thank you for sharing this perspective. It is really nice.

But it is not a perspective shared by all. Our daughter’s BFF has older but perfectly healthy parents yet has been worried about them taking care of them and with them dying since high school. So, yes, she is “thinking about it”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am surprised how much traction this thread has had. I never said my kids' ages: 9 and 4 and we are 50 and 56. I don't feel that raising kids is any more exhausting at my age than if I had had them younger. Kids are exhausting no matter what.

You have no way of knowing that.

[Anonymous]

The difference PP is that dealing with young kids AND aging parents AND perimeter pause is an absolute shitty way to live most days. I’m 46 with a 6 year old and parents and I laws with dementia and broken hip and Parkinson’s. My career is great but also being high level means I have to stay at that level and it’s soul crushing and demanding every minute of the day. Every day is a negotiation and prayer that notbin. Goes wrong, no one gets sick, the metro Isn’t delayed etc. every damn day is grinding and fees like a house of cards. I don’t regret my kid, I regret the losers I wasted time dating in my 20s and 30s which is why my marriage and kid were so delayed.

[Anonymous]

We had all four of our kids before they turned 30, still managed to fit in grad school, made good money, gave them a great upbringing -- and were empty nesters before turning 50. We retired a couple years later and are now hands on grandparents of elementary school kids in our late 50s -- hands on when we're not traveling, that is.

I can't imagine having little kids in yours 50s. It's not natural.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Before "we" turned 30, not "they".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had all four of our kids before they turned 30, still managed to fit in grad school, made good money, gave them a great upbringing -- and were empty nesters before turning 50. We retired a couple years later and are now hands on grandparents of elementary school kids in our late 50s -- hands on when we're not traveling, that is.

I can't imagine having little kids in yours 50s. It's not natural.

Except, it kind of is. I mean, realistically, a woman can get pregnant up until menopause. The risk of miscarriage or fetal abnormality is significantly higher, of course, but it CAN happen...naturally, with no assistance. My grandmothers were both in their 40s when my parents were born (last children in large families). I would wager, back in the days before birth control was popular, that it really wasn't that uncommon to see women in their 40s giving birth.

[Anonymous]

We’re not there yet, but I’m 46 with a four-year-old. It gets weird already. Still, i’d rather have a life with her than not. We may or may not miss a decade or two together, but we sure are enjoying the ones we have!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had all four of our kids before they turned 30, still managed to fit in grad school, made good money, gave them a great upbringing -- and were empty nesters before turning 50. We retired a couple years later and are now hands on grandparents of elementary school kids in our late 50s -- hands on when we're not traveling, that is.

I can't imagine having little kids in yours 50s. It's not natural.

That’s awesome for you. You’re very fortunate in that way. Not everyone has that experience. And that is completely natural.

PS welcome to 2019, Stone Ager

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had all four of our kids before they turned 30, still managed to fit in grad school, made good money, gave them a great upbringing -- and were empty nesters before turning 50. We retired a couple years later and are now hands on grandparents of elementary school kids in our late 50s -- hands on when we're not traveling, that is.

I can't imagine having little kids in yours 50s. It's not natural.

You are old and part of a different era (thank goodness).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: We’re not there yet, but I’m 46 with a four-year-old. It gets weird already. Still, i’d rather have a life with her than not. We may or may not miss a decade or two together, but we sure are enjoying the ones we have!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The difference PP is that dealing with young kids AND aging parents AND perimeter pause is an absolute shitty way to live most days. I’m 46 with a 6 year old and parents and I laws with dementia and broken hip and Parkinson’s. My career is great but also being high level means I have to stay at that level and it’s soul crushing and demanding every minute of the day. Every day is a negotiation and prayer that notbin. Goes wrong, no one gets sick, the metro Isn’t delayed etc. every damn day is grinding and fees like a house of cards. I don’t regret my kid, I regret the losers I wasted time dating in my 20s and 30s which is why my marriage and kid were so delayed.

Big hug. I know this life.

[Anonymous]

Since there are so many who have btdt, would you tell me not to go for a third child at 41?

[Anonymous]

56 with an 11 year old....