Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m the breadwinner and my husband works at a non-profit making decent but not big four money he could be making as a senior auditor somewhere else. We have a three year old and a baby on the way. Let me just say, you start to resent the hell out of your partner when you’re pulling these 60-70 hour weeks. I do not feel like I should have to kill myself to maintain a certain lifestyle. We are having the same conversations and it does feel like DH “expects” me to pull this big salary. All the while I’ve had one miscarriage and already been to the emergency room due to my hyperemesis with this pregnancy. If your partner is saying he can’t or doesn’t want to handle it anymore all need to be able to readjust their expectations. For their sanity and your marriage and family life. Otherwise, it’s going to become the resentment show. It’s a partnership not a bargain.
Unless you explicitly had a discussion several years ago where you decided one of you needed to downsize career so other could focus on making partner, your situation isn’t at all the same.
It is the same. Having a discussion doesn't act as a permanent contract for misery. Particularly in the law firm context, where associates have no idea what it means to be a partner (and in OPs case, she quit before kids; OPs belief she would have made partner is delusional).
If you are holding a miserable spouse to a conversation had years before kids or the reality of years of 70 hour weeks, you are a sociopathic jerk.
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