Is there anything better than marrying a rich guy you met in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I agree. I don’t think it’s shallow or silly to be jealous of her.

I for one am not jealous because of the ugly expensive car or mansion.

I’m jealous of her early smarts and realizing the importance of finding a guy who can provide.

I’m jealous that she’ll never have to worry about money.

I’m jealous that she will have comfort and security her whole life.

Her children will have access to the best of the best.

She will not have to work her butt off and be upset trying to please bosses.

She can focus on herself and her family.

Well how about this?

I never have to worry about money. I will inherit a large sum from my parents, and DH earns a very high salary as well. I don't earn as much as him, but even by DCUM standards I earn a lot. I work at home, and I have a ton of job flexibility. My boss is really nice, and he and I have a lot of mutual respect for each other.Before this job, when I wanted to take time off and just do a minimal amount of consulting work, we didn't even have to cut back on the amount of paid help we have at home.

And I have a PhD from an HYPS school, with all the respect and prestige that comes with it. DH respects my intelligence, and he considers me an equal in every way. And I get to apply my education to something that's interesting and useful without having to worry about making ends meet.

I am sure OP's niece is happy...but I don't understand why she thinks that's the only formula to being happy. I loved school and never had to cram for tests...I just got to learn about cool stuff that I found interesting from some of the smartest people in the world.

Girl, you started on third and are declaring a home run? Seriously? STFD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People I am envious of:
My friend who just got tenure at an R1 university
My friend who has a killer design sense and just bought her 3rd investment property
My friend who literally built her own house by hand, travels the world, and is now getting a nursing degree
My friend who quit a sucky job and went out on her own as a consultant making more money working less time, spends her time on a multitude of creative hobbies and lives abroad part of the year
My other friend who quit HER sucky job after saving up mucho dinero and now sails around the world
All of these friends are 40+ and unmarried.

Person I never in a million years would be envious of:
Woman who left NYC at 27 to marry into a midwest car dealer family and live in a giant lake house and drive a new SUV.

OP, I'm not jealous of your niece's carefree 0.10% lifestyle, I'm jealous of these other 1% lifestyles a select few of my friends achieved. Also, those are much tougher and/or rely on too much luck/chance than merely being cute and targeting a rich boy in college.

what? none of my friends' lives depend on lucl of chance. They depend on talent, initiative, and hard work.

You live in DC and know NO trust fund babies? I call BS

I live in the intellectual DC world. You live in a crasser, stupider world.

Oh man, your friends sound amazing - but you are joking if you think the intellectual DC world isn't lousy with trust funders. How do you think that these kids can afford to go build a house from scratch, and sail around the world, and buy downtown DC condos while working at news websites, and do all these other things?

It's great stuff, that requires quite a lot of financial backing to be able to do.

None of those friends of mine have trustfunds. One will likely have a solid inheritance (nothing trust-fund scale, but some property that could be sold for a lot that she'll likely keep to live on instead). They're all making it on their own. It actually is quite possible to have an amazing, adventure filled life without a rich husband OR a trust fund. (My friends do have many advantages of relative family prosperity, but we're talking "normal" help with college tuition etc, not a multi-million trust fund.)

I only know 1 actual trust fund baby, and he's super annoying. I would never hold him up as an aspirational figure.

Plenty of these kids have trust funds that are not in the multi million dollar range. They have enough to take chances, and not to need professional stability. To do glamorous fun things instead of putting on a stupid suit and going into a stupid office. These kids don't dress like Ivanka Trump - often they live in group houses and wear shabby clothes. You only know they have trust funds if they tell you about it, or if you figure out that there is no chance in hell they could be doing what they are doing without family support.

I know this because I know these people. I know it is also possible to live like this without a trust fund, because I have done it - I've traded stability for adventure, savings for excitement, etc. I work as a writer, which probably tells you all you need to know. I also know that people have mistaken me for a trust funder (a very very shabby one), while really I am just bad at holding down a job.

[Anonymous]

^ pp again: I am not saying that I have more insight into your friends' lives than you do. Maybe you would know if they have trust funds, maybe you wouldn't. Just, it takes privilege and/or lots of luck to be able to live like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ pp again: I am not saying that I have more insight into your friends' lives than you do. Maybe you would know if they have trust funds, maybe you wouldn't. Just, it takes privilege and/or lots of luck to be able to live like that.

I know for certain they don't have trust funds. I know their parents. They all put in the hard work to get where they are. It wasn't privilege (other than yes, the basic white/UMC privilege). It wasn't luck. It was initiative, talent, hard-work, being willing to be different or diverge from the standard path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I agree. I don’t think it’s shallow or silly to be jealous of her.

I for one am not jealous because of the ugly expensive car or mansion.

I’m jealous of her early smarts and realizing the importance of finding a guy who can provide.

I’m jealous that she’ll never have to worry about money.

I’m jealous that she will have comfort and security her whole life.

Her children will have access to the best of the best.

She will not have to work her butt off and be upset trying to please bosses.

She can focus on herself and her family.

Well how about this?

I never have to worry about money. I will inherit a large sum from my parents, and DH earns a very high salary as well. I don't earn as much as him, but even by DCUM standards I earn a lot. I work at home, and I have a ton of job flexibility. My boss is really nice, and he and I have a lot of mutual respect for each other.Before this job, when I wanted to take time off and just do a minimal amount of consulting work, we didn't even have to cut back on the amount of paid help we have at home.

And I have a PhD from an HYPS school, with all the respect and prestige that comes with it. DH respects my intelligence, and he considers me an equal in every way. And I get to apply my education to something that's interesting and useful without having to worry about making ends meet.

I am sure OP's niece is happy...but I don't understand why she thinks that's the only formula to being happy. I loved school and never had to cram for tests...I just got to learn about cool stuff that I found interesting from some of the smartest people in the world.

Girl, you started on third and are declaring a home run? Seriously? STFD.

I'm not declaring a HR. I'm incredibly privileged. I'm just saying that you don't need to marry a privileged guy to be privileged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I agree. I don’t think it’s shallow or silly to be jealous of her.

I for one am not jealous because of the ugly expensive car or mansion.

I’m jealous of her early smarts and realizing the importance of finding a guy who can provide.

I’m jealous that she’ll never have to worry about money.

I’m jealous that she will have comfort and security her whole life.

Her children will have access to the best of the best.

She will not have to work her butt off and be upset trying to please bosses.

She can focus on herself and her family.

Well how about this?

I never have to worry about money. I will inherit a large sum from my parents, and DH earns a very high salary as well. I don't earn as much as him, but even by DCUM standards I earn a lot. I work at home, and I have a ton of job flexibility. My boss is really nice, and he and I have a lot of mutual respect for each other.Before this job, when I wanted to take time off and just do a minimal amount of consulting work, we didn't even have to cut back on the amount of paid help we have at home.

And I have a PhD from an HYPS school, with all the respect and prestige that comes with it. DH respects my intelligence, and he considers me an equal in every way. And I get to apply my education to something that's interesting and useful without having to worry about making ends meet.

I am sure OP's niece is happy...but I don't understand why she thinks that's the only formula to being happy. I loved school and never had to cram for tests...I just got to learn about cool stuff that I found interesting from some of the smartest people in the world.

Girl, you started on third and are declaring a home run? Seriously? STFD.

I'm not declaring a HR. I'm incredibly privileged. I'm just saying that you don't need to marry a privileged guy to be privileged.

Exactly I like your life better than the car heiress's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well how about this?

I never have to worry about money. I will inherit a large sum from my parents, and DH earns a very high salary as well. I don't earn as much as him, but even by DCUM standards I earn a lot. I work at home, and I have a ton of job flexibility. My boss is really nice, and he and I have a lot of mutual respect for each other.Before this job, when I wanted to take time off and just do a minimal amount of consulting work, we didn't even have to cut back on the amount of paid help we have at home.

And I have a PhD from an HYPS school, with all the respect and prestige that comes with it. DH respects my intelligence, and he considers me an equal in every way. And I get to apply my education to something that's interesting and useful without having to worry about making ends meet.

I am sure OP's niece is happy...but I don't understand why she thinks that's the only formula to being happy. I loved school and never had to cram for tests...I just got to learn about cool stuff that I found interesting from some of the smartest people in the world.

Girl, you started on third and are declaring a home run? Seriously? STFD.

I'm not declaring a HR. I'm incredibly privileged. I'm just saying that you don't need to marry a privileged guy to be privileged.

Exactly I like your life better than the car heiress's life.

I guess my answer to OP's question is that one thing that's better is being born rich

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well how about this?

I never have to worry about money. I will inherit a large sum from my parents, and DH earns a very high salary as well. I don't earn as much as him, but even by DCUM standards I earn a lot. I work at home, and I have a ton of job flexibility. My boss is really nice, and he and I have a lot of mutual respect for each other.Before this job, when I wanted to take time off and just do a minimal amount of consulting work, we didn't even have to cut back on the amount of paid help we have at home.

And I have a PhD from an HYPS school, with all the respect and prestige that comes with it. DH respects my intelligence, and he considers me an equal in every way. And I get to apply my education to something that's interesting and useful without having to worry about making ends meet.

I am sure OP's niece is happy...but I don't understand why she thinks that's the only formula to being happy. I loved school and never had to cram for tests...I just got to learn about cool stuff that I found interesting from some of the smartest people in the world.

Girl, you started on third and are declaring a home run? Seriously? STFD.

I'm not declaring a HR. I'm incredibly privileged. I'm just saying that you don't need to marry a privileged guy to be privileged.

Exactly I like your life better than the car heiress's life.

I guess my answer to OP's question is that one thing that's better is being born rich

Oh for sure. Hands down. But if you weren't born rich you do have to choose a path. My pick is high potential husband I live who treats me well. Flyover state car dealership lifestyle doesn't excite me personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posts like OP's are so immature and seem so devoid of wisdom I wonder if the person writing them is actually an adult. Is this all some of you do all day, compare your life to that of your rich acquaintances? Is that really what life has taught you? Can't you at least learn to control your thoughts?

And further, these posts are always about money and talking about this mid-point of someone's life, not the result. No one on DCUM is jealous of their friend who was a doctor for 30 years and made a breakthrough in a disease, or their friend who raised 2 great kids who became awesome adults. You know why? Because by the time people reach that age, I'm thinking they are mature enough not to care about this shit anymore.

Also, this is America. If you want a luxury SUV, go ahead and lease one. It really won't make your life one iota better but at least you'll get it out of your system.

Bitter yentas cling to the niece's choice of any new luxury SUV (so tacky!!! ) while ignoring the custom mansion, vacation homes, liquid assets, best private schools, being top of the economic food chain wherever they're at, never having to worry about retirement, on and on. Before age 30. A communications major who never crammed for a tough exam. Who can do yoga and pilates all day while we sit in offices all day getting fat asses. All because she had the sense in college to reel in a rich boy from flyover country.

Actually, at age 30, she doesn't yet know whether she needs to worry about retirement. Divorces happen, you know. She also doesn't have kids yet, right? So how can she possibly know about best private schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Again, are you an actual adult? If the one and only objective in your life is to have the "best," in material goods and status and working little, then yes, marrying rich is a brilliant move.

But maybe there are plenty of happy, secure people who don't actually desire this.

I think there is a fallacy on this board that money = security for the rest of your life. That's not true. Money gives you the illusion of security, which for many people, is enough. But money cannot protect you from everything, including depression or unhappiness. Nor will money secure your children for the rest of their lives. Even with huge sums of money you can still lose that money, get sick, die, get divorced, raise screwed up kids, raise kids who lose all that money you wanted so much. It happens and it has happened to people who are smarter and nicer and more attractive than you or me. You might say "oh, but money makes all of those worst-case scenarios less likely," or "I'd rather have a problem WITH money than without it." Ok, sure, but wouldn't you rather just not have problems?

I make an average income, but I don't have a shit-ton of problems in my life. I definitely have problems, but they're problems I can handle. And you know what? That's enough. I don't need a luxury yacht, or trips to Europe, or fancy schools for my kids.

You know what money can't buy? Time. You have a finite time on this Earth, and you are wasting it on stupid shit like fantasizing about your rich friend and how she has it better than you.
I'm going to enjoy what I have instead of wasting my time.

x1000

It's just ridiculous that you can type it with a straight face and assume others will believe you. One of the great advantages of money is to buy time by paying others to do tedious, stupid, time-consuming stuff. Like cleaning, cooking, driving, picking up dry cleaning, doing your research, booking your travel etc. Why do you think CEOs have assistants? To free up their time for other stuff. So yes, money can buy time.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine anything more dull than spending all day shopping and going to yoga. I'm so lucky to have a fascinating career. I'd probably develop a drinking problem if I had to figure out how to amuse myself all day every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I live in the intellectual DC world. You live in a crasser, stupider world.

LOL. My husband is in the "intellectual" DC world. I work a corporate job. I've never seen a bunch of pettier, pickier whores who kiss a mind-numbing yardage of ass for this next fellowship, this next TV appearance, this next column. They are like spiders in a jar, legends in their own mind in polyester suits. It's very funny to watch how their opinions (because that's what they sell) get tweaked ever so slightly to ensure they remain callable and bookable. It's amusing to watch how they grovel before donors and foundations. They are just as crass as anyone but more pathetic because the stakes are so low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I live in the intellectual DC world. You live in a crasser, stupider world.

LOL. My husband is in the "intellectual" DC world. I work a corporate job. I've never seen a bunch of pettier, pickier whores who kiss a mind-numbing yardage of ass for this next fellowship, this next TV appearance, this next column. They are like spiders in a jar, legends in their own mind in polyester suits. It's very funny to watch how their opinions (because that's what they sell) get tweaked ever so slightly to ensure they remain callable and bookable. It's amusing to watch how they grovel before donors and foundations. They are just as crass as anyone but more pathetic because the stakes are so low.

buuuuurn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I live in the intellectual DC world. You live in a crasser, stupider world.

LOL. My husband is in the "intellectual" DC world. I work a corporate job. I've never seen a bunch of pettier, pickier whores who kiss a mind-numbing yardage of ass for this next fellowship, this next TV appearance, this next column. They are like spiders in a jar, legends in their own mind in polyester suits. It's very funny to watch how their opinions (because that's what they sell) get tweaked ever so slightly to ensure they remain callable and bookable. It's amusing to watch how they grovel before donors and foundations. They are just as crass as anyone but more pathetic because the stakes are so low.

I know this world well. This is 100% true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I live in the intellectual DC world. You live in a crasser, stupider world.

LOL. My husband is in the "intellectual" DC world. I work a corporate job. I've never seen a bunch of pettier, pickier whores who kiss a mind-numbing yardage of ass for this next fellowship, this next TV appearance, this next column. They are like spiders in a jar, legends in their own mind in polyester suits. It's very funny to watch how their opinions (because that's what they sell) get tweaked ever so slightly to ensure they remain callable and bookable. It's amusing to watch how they grovel before donors and foundations. They are just as crass as anyone but more pathetic because the stakes are so low.

I know this world well. This is 100% true.

Oh, I don't disagree at all, but that's not the entirety of the DC intellectual world. Just the Hill-infested part. But, I suppose I should admit that my more interesting and admirable female friends are not in DC, but in NYC, Ca, and elsewhere.