What do you do that makes you an *sshole?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I take big poops. I eat plenty of fiber and drink lots of water, but I just have big poops. Unfortunately, we have no plungers at work in the bathrooms, so sometimes I'll just go and leave it unflushed. My shoes are too nice to risk toilet & poop water getting all over me when it inevitability clogs and overflows.

I'm my office's phantom pooper.

You are bat shit crazy lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I avoid the checkout lane with the Down's syndrome packer. He throws my bread at the bottom of the bag and smushes my eggs on top. Don't they get packing training?

I also park in pregnant parking. Whatevs.

Yes, but considering he has Down's Syndrome perhaps he struggles a bit. You could interact with him you know - ask him to put your eggs and bread in a bag together. Or to please put your eggs and bread in the bag last.

You sound like a real peach.

Um yea, that's the whole point of the thread. Did you read the ttile of the post?
We all "sound like a real peach" bc we're revealing what makes us *ssholes.

Being an asshole about someone with Down's Syndrome wins this thread.

I don't know if she's being an ahole. She's avoiding the guy who always smooshes her food. He's a grocery bagger. It's his job to bag the products without damaging them. The fact that he has Down Syndrome is irrelevant. If she avoided all baggers with Down syndrome, she might be an ahole. But avoiding the one guy who ruins her groceries seems like a logical move.

Spoken like an ableist. is there a term like whitesplaining that applies to people who go out of their way to defend someone who discriminates against the disabled? Because there should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes sneak that my kid is "gifted" into conversations. I think I'm competitive when it comes to certain aspects of parenting. I get that it's obnoxious and will try to change my ways.

When I hear "gifted" from parents I automatically think the kid is doing poorly in school or acting out and the parents have convinced themselves that their kid "must" be so incredibly smart that they're acting out and bored.

pp here--no- not the case here. I sneak it in because I'm insecure and competitive. Those are my flaws only. My kid is really sweet and smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I park in the parking spaces reserved for pregnant women/women with small children and in the spaces reserved for Vets.

If there's no fine associated with it, it's not a real law or real thing.

Hahaha this IS an asshole move, but I think you're hilarious! I shop at the military commissary and have NEVER seen any cars in the gold star spot which is closest to the doors... but I feel like that would be even more looked down upon in that location.

Fuck you
-34 week pregnant mother of 2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I tailgate people who are driving way under the speed limit, or pass them on the right, in the hopes that they either get the hell out of my way or at least realize that everyone behind them hates them. In the absence of heavy traffic, there is no excuse for going 25mph on a Beltway on-ramp. People who cannot grasp this should drive on highways.

As a slow driver, this has absolutely no effect on me. But I do get a good laugh out of the fact that I angered a loser and forced them to slow down for a few seconds.

If some psycho decides to tailgate someone in the right lane, what effect does that have on anyone else? No one is thinking "I should go faster", they think you have a pathetic anger issue and that it's amusing that someone else's driving has so enraged/ diverted you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I deliberstely slow down, to belolw the speed limit, when someone is tailgating me.

Me too.

Hah! I always do this! It's so annoying when people tailgate, so I will deliberately slow down to 5 miles bellow the speed limit just to piss them off.

+1

It's kind of fun to watch them progressively get madder and madder, sticking closer to your tail, hoping you'll speed up/ change lanes, etc.

Mental health services are severely lacking in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, people, I thought I was a jerk for calling the police on my partying grad student neighbors at 2am, after I knocked and politely asked them to keep it down because they were waking the baby.

I'm not cut out for this city.

DC attracts a particular brand of frustrated aspie-socially-stunted types who conversely have a craving for power, both social and political. This leads to a particular s-storm of frustration and passive aggressiveness.

It's one thing to crave power when you're respected and have a chance of getting it... it's another to crave it when no one really likes you and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never let anyone cut in front of me in traffic - ever.

You and everyone else in the DMV- it's the norm here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never let anyone cut in front of me in traffic - ever.

You and everyone else in the DMV- it's the norm here.

+1

Worst drivers in the country. Virginia in particular

So glad not to live there anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I take big poops. I eat plenty of fiber and drink lots of water, but I just have big poops. Unfortunately, we have no plungers at work in the bathrooms, so sometimes I'll just go and leave it unflushed. My shoes are too nice to risk toilet & poop water getting all over me when it inevitability clogs and overflows.

I'm my office's phantom pooper.

You are bat shit crazy lady.

+1- Just flush, most commercial toilets can handle a big dump. Try it and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I take big poops. I eat plenty of fiber and drink lots of water, but I just have big poops. Unfortunately, we have no plungers at work in the bathrooms, so sometimes I'll just go and leave it unflushed. My shoes are too nice to risk toilet & poop water getting all over me when it inevitability clogs and overflows.

I'm my office's phantom pooper.

You are bat shit crazy lady.

+1- Just flush, most commercial toilets can handle a big dump. Try it and see what happens.

Sooner or later this person will be caught. Not difficult to notice the timing- let's see, Marcia went to the bathroom at 2pm and when I went in a few minutes later, there was an unflushed turd. Hmmm, that's weird- didn't that happen last Wednesday too?"

And then from there turning into office gossip.

And when you become known as the person with uncontrolled bowels who has some kind of weird scat-discovery fetish- it's gonna be a hell of a lot more embarrassing than any other scenario I can imagine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I park in the parking spaces reserved for pregnant women/women with small children and in the spaces reserved for Vets.

If there's no fine associated with it, it's not a real law or real thing.

Hahaha this IS an asshole move, but I think you're hilarious! I shop at the military commissary and have NEVER seen any cars in the gold star spot which is closest to the doors... but I feel like that would be even more looked down upon in that location.

Fuck you
-34 week pregnant mother of 2

Aren't you precious. No one told you to get pregnant. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

I drive a beater and if there is a well-located parking spot in a parking lot that is available, but encroached upon by an adjacent car that is poorly parked, I park my car so that my passenger side is fully within the parking lines but as close as possible to the other car (preferably on their driver's side).

If a tailgater comes flying up to a bunch of cars and can't get by, I tailgate him -- tailgaters hate being tailgated don't you know?

If there's someone on a 3-lane highway coming up behind me in middle lane, and I get the feeling that they want to pass me on the right instead of the left, I start drifting over to the right to force them to go by me on the left.

If there's slow traffic way ahead of me in my lane that will force me to slow down, and the left lane is open but someone is driving in it faster than me and will soon be to my left, I start drifting over to the left so they realize that I will be blocking their way unless they speed up and pass me now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a wine drinker but dh likes mostly fine whiskey especially before his trip with the guys. Learned my lesson, but one night I didn't want to go up and get some wine so I helped myself to his special bottle. He wouldn't have cared, but I failed to ask. Well after a few I noticed it was down quite a bit and panicked because he was getting ready for a trip. And planned to take it for him and the guys. I added water so he wouldn't notice. When I was putting stuff in the motor home I looked in the freezer because that's where he puts the *whiskey bottle. Liquor doesn't freeze, BUT this was frozen! I immediately drove to the store and got him a new bottle and switched them out. Lesson learned!

He keeps the "fine whiskey" in the freezer? First, I have my doubts that it's "fine." Second, if he does this with ANY whiskey, there's a good chance he's the asshole. Good Lord.

We have a large motor home. That way it doesn't get batted around while driving. At home it's where you keep liquor fyi.

The only liquor that can reasonably be kept in the freezer is vodka.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I avoid the checkout lane with the Down's syndrome packer. He throws my bread at the bottom of the bag and smushes my eggs on top. Don't they get packing training?

I also park in pregnant parking. Whatevs.

Yes, but considering he has Down's Syndrome perhaps he struggles a bit. You could interact with him you know - ask him to put your eggs and bread in a bag together. Or to please put your eggs and bread in the bag last.

You sound like a real peach.

Um yea, that's the whole point of the thread. Did you read the ttile of the post?
We all "sound like a real peach" bc we're revealing what makes us *ssholes.

Being an asshole about someone with Down's Syndrome wins this thread.

I don't know if she's being an ahole. She's avoiding the guy who always smooshes her food. He's a grocery bagger. It's his job to bag the products without damaging them. The fact that he has Down Syndrome is irrelevant. If she avoided all baggers with Down syndrome, she might be an ahole. But avoiding the one guy who ruins her groceries seems like a logical move.

Spoken like an ableist. is there a term like whitesplaining that applies to people who go out of their way to defend someone who discriminates against the disabled? Because there should be.

You're funny. She's not discriminating against the disabled, she's discriminating against the guy who sucks at his job.