How do you deal with the humiliation of labor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once the pain starts, you don't give a f#*$

So true. I had planned to wear a cute super soft knee length robe for modesty during labor. Once the pain started anything touching my skin felt like fire ants and I ripped it off.

I gave birth completely naked.

I don’t think that was a bad plan. Sorry it worked out that way in your case. I actually like that; I think I’ll try to find & pack a similar knee length cute robe. Hopefully it works better for me. TIA !

[Anonymous]

I peed myself in the car on the way to the hospital then threw up on my husband when we parked. I thought I would be self conscious about having my mother-in-law see everything (she’s a nurse, but still). I did not have the bandwidth to care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I peed myself in the car on the way to the hospital then threw up on my husband when we parked. I thought I would be self conscious about having my mother-in-law see everything (she’s a nurse, but still). I did not have the bandwidth to care.

He heard of plenty of women having their mom in the delivery room, but I think your the first I’ve heard of who had her MIL witness.

Brave and good for you !

[Anonymous]

You will not care. You will just want that baby out of you. Any way possible. You could have broadcast the whole thing on the big screen at the Super Bowl, and I would not have cared.

[Anonymous]

This thread is almost 11 years old. Did we ever hear back how it went for OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one whose first thought re labor is -- it's going to be humiliating? FTM (obviously). I have months to adjust to this (and don't want an elective c section, nor will I consider a home birth), but the idea of having my legs wide open, having everyone see everything, being in pain on top of that (even with the epidural -- I can't believe you feel nothing though it would be great if that's true), and having all kinds of drs, nurses etc. in the room, holding my legs -- it just seems over the top humiliating. I realize there is no other option, but still . . . I'm not sure how women go from being full dressed all/most of the time to baring it all in front of strangers, while DH is standing there fully clothed just watching. Is it just that necessity or adrenaline or something takes over, or did you feel bothered or embarrassed when someone lifted a gown or stuck a hand down there etc? I had to get an EKG earlier this week and the nurse was taking her time with the leads and during that time the dr. walked in and started saying hello and I was embarrassed then -- small potatoes compared to labor/pushing etc. Thoughts?[/

You sound like you have a lot of anxiety about giving birth, which is normal, but your fixation on the “humiliation” of giving birth sounds more like a projection of your cultural values and beliefs around nudity on the birthing process or unresolved trauma.

Touching on this at a high level, ask for an all female nursing stuff and hope that a female OB is on the day you give birth or just go the c-section route. I would recommend you take birthing classes to reduce your anxiety about the experience and would recommend you have something with you during birth who is able to advocate for you and won’t get anxious/make you anxious. You may also want to speak to a therapist about your feelings so you can better process your feelings.

I’ve had three vaginal births and feel very lucky that they were all relatively easy. Although two were induced and for the first birth, the induction was quite long and very painful. I think it’s normal to be in your head while giving birth, but if you’re worried about humiliation you’re going to exhaust yourself mentally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once the pain starts, you don't give a f#*$

So true. I had planned to wear a cute super soft knee length robe for modesty during labor. Once the pain started anything touching my skin felt like fire ants and I ripped it off.

I gave birth completely naked.

I don’t think that was a bad plan. Sorry it worked out that way in your case. I actually like that; I think I’ll try to find & pack a similar knee length cute robe. Hopefully it works better for me. TIA !

Just Google “labor and delivery gowns.” So many beautiful options to choose from. The search also prompted me to treat myself to a cute matching bathrobe to wear in the hospital (and home).

Now just need to remember to pack them both LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are that modest then ask for an all female L&D. staff.

May not be possible and you could literally be putting your life and the life of your child at risk

Exactly.

This is why it’s a really bad idea (and really immature) thing to demand a female-only L&D staff. Plus, the only valid (imo) reason hospitals maintain female-only L&D is because of strict Muslim women, whose religion requires that. Non-Muslims taking that option (just because you’re a little embarrassed ), is kinda like parking in a handicap space when you’re healthy.

It’s immature to question why someone would ask for an all female staff. It’s totally legitimate and no one owes anyone an explanation for why. 1 in 4 women are survivors of sexual assault and having an unknown man in the delivery room can be triggering and traumatic.