Forum Index
»
Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
When am i too old for more kids?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Sweetie, it's Lovey here. I somehow can't imagine you enjoying your retirement -- that would take aging gracefully, something you obviously won't be able to do. You'll be too busy blocking words like "Yuck" from ringing in your head. |
Anonymous
Listen sugar, I will be able to enjoy my retirement and menopause without a toddler running around. "Yuck" is what your child will say when she sees your sagging jaw line and it will be your child that is embarassed when or if you can even make it to the high school graduation and the bleachers don't accomodate walkers. Don't get all sad when little sally asks why you look like little susies grandma and not her mom. |
Anonymous
Are you sure you are in your 20s and not your teens? Really, is that the behavior you model for your children? |
Anonymous
|
People are different. My first cousin had her kids at 23, 25 and 28. She is now in her fifties, her kids are all grown, and she says to me frequently that she wishes she had had her kids later because she hates the empty nest!
And why in the world would it embarrass a child to have an older parent? That I just don't get at all, esp. when it is now so common. I had "older" parents (37 and 40 when they had me, which was older in our day although common now) and I don't ever remember being embarrassed by them, even when I was a teenager. And why does it take having your kids grown to enjoy retirement? Again, I just don't get that--it's like you're saying children are such an odious burden that you're glad to get rid of them and be done with it in order to be able to enjoy retirement. Why couldn't someone who had children at age 40 enjoy retirement while having teenagers/college-aged kids? (Serious question.) I had my kids in my mid and late thirties, and since we did have financial stability, I fully expect that our retirement won't be delayed (knock wood) just because we weren't in our twenties. Personally, BTW, I think it's a little odd to be a grandmother in your early fifties, actually, but I would never criticize someone for that. Don't understand why the 20-somethings on this board are so bitter and hostile. (Again, a serious observation.) |
Anonymous
Simmer down now, don't be getting your depends in a wad. When was the last time you took your hormone replacement?? Those should be taken at the same time every day...never skip a dose. |
Anonymous
It's not odd to be a grandmother in your fifties but it is odd to be a mother of a three year old in your fifties...at least my child will get to know his grandparents before they eat it. |
Anonymous
Well, I had initially regarded this fight from which I should withold my dog because although I had my child in my mid-20s, I know many wonderful mothers who have become parents at a wide variety of ages. Every situation has its advantages and disadvantages, of course. Our night owl contributor, Ms. Financial Stability, really, really bothered me by assuming that comparatively young mothers are undereducated. I'll continue to protest that. I'll tell you all, though you didn't ask, that my body is markedly different now at 35 than it had been at 25. The wrinkles have started, my back sometimes aches when I straighten up after sitting too long, and there's this recurring pain in my left shoulder... oy. In the last five years, I've had two breast cancer scares, one of which required a biopsy to resolve. It's true, of course, that my own family history, a factor most of you don't share, is responsible for all of this cancer concern, but there's no denying that I've reached the age at which this sort of cr*p is no longer shockingly rare. So although I'm certainly able to "keep up" with my now school-age child and probably would do fine with a couple of younger ones if I were plagued... er, blessed... with them today, I feel my body starting to die. That's kind of a dramatic, self-indulgent way to look at aging, and of course, looming threat of cancer notwithstanding, my body has a long way to go yet, but I, myself, don't feel my body remains young and healthy enough to give life. The tide has clearly turned. |
Anonymous
Given that the average age to have your first kid is 25 (and it was less than that in years past) it's perfectly reasonable to become a grandparent in your 50s (25+25). My mom was 53 (22 when she had me, I was 31 when I had DD). She was a decade older than her mom who was 43 when I (her first grandchild) was born. |
Anonymous
| I read this post as a 40 year old with a one year old son, contemplating a second. I stupidly assumed this would be thoughtful, helpful and interesting discussion but it has devolved into a name calling, mean spirited, and completely unproductive post, by women, of ALL ages. It's insane that smart, informed mothers are acting so immature. Is there really an age or station in life or economic status that makes a good parent or bad parent? Isn't it all based on the individual person and how warm and loving they are? Wasn't the original poster looking for helpful anecdotes, support, or constructive comments and this is what she received instead? |
Anonymous
| It's so easy to judge when you have not walked in someone else's shoes. If you have not been through years of infertility, lost babies to miscarriages and pre-term labour or other heath issues it’s so easy to decide what is right and wrong for other people. It is easy to laugh at them because they look older than the average parent. You do not know the years of pain that may have gone before. I know the pain of all the above and because I do, I could not wish that on anyone not even all of the posters here who can so easily making judgments and laugh at people like me. LOL all you like, make fun all you like. None of that will take away the joy of one day carrying my child in my arms. None of your criticism, value judgments or righteous indignation will take that away. |
Anonymous
| Thank you 15:25 and 15:26 for your thoughtful posts. I personally wish I had skipped the earlier sludgefest. Is there anything worse than moms attacking other moms over when they became moms? Really. Life is really too short, people. Try to spread some holiday cheer. There is enough hate already. Peace & happiness to you all. |
Anonymous
I really liked the 15:11 reply... 
|
Anonymous
Interesting, seriously. But not relevant to others--other people may not have that situation at all. Personally, I am way healthier in my 40s than I was in my 30s. |
Anonymous
Sure, of course. I didn't say there was anything wrong with or strange about it--I said *I* find it odd. And I do, LOL! I find it odd because no one I know fits that demographic. |
Anonymous
That's because you have the maturity level of teenager. |