When am i too old for more kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What we older women are saying is that DESPITE THESE OBVIOUS SIGNS OF AGING, there are STILL many tremedous advantages for a child to have a parent that is well established financially, emotionally stable, in a long-standing relationship, and possibly better educated also and for most women these advantages come in late 30's or in the 40s as opposed to the twenties or early thirties.

Actually, I'd say that's true for "some" women but not "most." Most women who are going to get those things already have those things before their late 30s.

But do you think most people in their 20's or early 30's have made a serious dent in their mortgage loans? Do you think they have paid off all their educational loans? Do you think they've paid off their car loans? Can the 20's or early 30's mom afford to be a SAHM without her husband struggling financially? For how long? If God forbid she and her husband die, how much is left for their child to live on - is there enough for him to live on and eventually go to college or even beyond? If a 20's or 30's something husband or wife loses their job, how many months can they get by with no salary before they start to worry?

I think many people in their 40's can be a little bit more relaxed about these questions than younger women. And being relaxed about finances and relaxed about your relationship really can help to make a parent more patient and attentive.

I'm 33 and my husband is 37. We own two cars that are fully paid off, have no educational loans outstanding, and have enough money saved to pay our mortgage tomorrow if we want. I can afford to be a SAHM with our savings that will last us for two years.

You go girl! I'm telling you....I don't think that it's so much the younger females on this thread attacking the older females as it is the other way around. You all are trying to make it seem like since we are younger we don't have education, money or patience. I am getting a little tired of the belittle ling that has been going on. Most of us here are married and therefore pulling two incomes. I know my husband and I together make well into the 6 digits. My son has everything he needs and wants. He never goes without. He is a very happy go lucky kid and everywhere I go, people comment on how happy and well behaved he is. That is not because I have an education or because I have money, it's because that's the way that I choose to raise him. I didn't have a class in college that "taught" me how to raise a happy baby. I'm 28 and I am very happy and proud that I had my son at a young age. And oh by the way, I had him through invitro, I decided to start early to give me a better chance of having a baby instead of waiting until I was over 35 and have my chances of getting pregnant decrease. I am very well versed on infertility and the risks associated with having a baby over the age of 35 not to mention being very well versed in "high risk" pregnancies. Everyone needs to get off of each others backs. You 40+ and I am talking to the several of you bashing younger women...YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN ME! Actually you make yourself seem bitter and jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! Seriously? You only consider someone financially stable when they have paid off all of their student loans? Ha. Well, then, yes, that's a high bar indeed. If that's the case, many of the lawyers in D.C. who are making $200k+/year are still not financially stable.

This can't be true. Someone who would willingly pay interest even though they don't need to is someone who isn't financially wise and is likely not making the $200,000 income to begin with. By the time someone is earning $200,000 they've become financially saavy and they know the first thing to do is to get rid of large loans.

I realize that this is now taking us away from the other discussion (good thing too, LOL), but to respond to this, you'd be surprised how many people earning 200K really don't know much about finances and in fact have no idea that they should pay off their high-interest loans first! I know many people in the latter category and it always amazes me.

I'd be shocked if this were true. The people I know who earn this income know better. If they are very young professionals (I know a few young surgeons), they often have very involved parents who guide and advise them on financial matters and urge them to pay off the high interest loans. Or they take courses on how to manage their money. If you don't mind me asking, what are the occupations and educational level of the people you are speaking of? Are they highly educated? I don't mean to sound arrogant in asking this question, I'm just wondering if education plays a role in how people manage money.

Yes, all are highly educated int their fields, just not in money management. The people I'm referring to (all relativesd and good friends) include two doctors, one scientist, and one lawyer. Like you, I was initially shocked when I found out (came out in a casual conversation), but I now realize that it is far more common than we think.

Are they over 35?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What we older women are saying is that DESPITE THESE OBVIOUS SIGNS OF AGING, there are STILL many tremedous advantages for a child to have a parent that is well established financially, emotionally stable, in a long-standing relationship, and possibly better educated also and for most women these advantages come in late 30's or in the 40s as opposed to the twenties or early thirties.

Actually, I'd say that's true for "some" women but not "most." Most women who are going to get those things already have those things before their late 30s.

But do you think most people in their 20's or early 30's have made a serious dent in their mortgage loans? Do you think they have paid off all their educational loans? Do you think they've paid off their car loans? Can the 20's or early 30's mom afford to be a SAHM without her husband struggling financially? For how long? If God forbid she and her husband die, how much is left for their child to live on - is there enough for him to live on and eventually go to college or even beyond? If a 20's or 30's something husband or wife loses their job, how many months can they get by with no salary before they start to worry?

I think many people in their 40's can be a little bit more relaxed about these questions than younger women. And being relaxed about finances and relaxed about your relationship really can help to make a parent more patient and attentive.

I'm 33 and my husband is 37. We own two cars that are fully paid off, have no educational loans outstanding, and have enough money saved to pay our mortgage tomorrow if we want. I can afford to be a SAHM with our savings that will last us for two years.

And would you say you are reflective of most people your age? I would say your husband is in the "older" category, however. My husband and I paid off all our loans in our mid 30's as well but I would not consider us the norm for people our age. There are always exceptions to statistics. You and I sound like the exception, not the norm.

[Anonymous]

You can't put her husband in the "older" category as it pertains to this discussion; you have no idea how old her children are.

The idea that you have to be older to be financially responsible is patently false and offensive.

And I'm not the PP who said that she and her husband are 33 and 37, but my husband and I are even younger. We have no consumer debt either, and I stay at home. We both have graduate degrees. Yes, we are still paying off my husband's student loans. However, we're paying off his student loans as quickly as we can, and we can afford them because he went to a great law school, did well there, and has a very good salary.

It's offensive to young moms to suggest that financial responsibility, stability, marital strength, patience, and calm only come with age. And it should be REALLY offensive to people of all ages to suggest that money is what makes one a better parent.

Have children whenever you want -- really. Just don't try to suggest that we (young but still secure and relaxed) are the anomaly when it comes to good parenting.

One older poster mentioned that the older moms have to point out these "advantages" and defend themselves b/c "society" looks down on older moms. This might be the most telling post in the whole thread, as it reveals the defensiveness that inspires these "young moms are the bad ones!" posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't put her husband in the "older" category as it pertains to this discussion; you have no idea how old her children are.

The idea that you have to be older to be financially responsible is patently false and offensive.

And I'm not the PP who said that she and her husband are 33 and 37, but my husband and I are even younger. We have no consumer debt either, and I stay at home. We both have graduate degrees. Yes, we are still paying off my husband's student loans. However, we're paying off his student loans as quickly as we can, and we can afford them because he went to a great law school, did well there, and has a very good salary.

It's offensive to young moms to suggest that financial responsibility, stability, marital strength, patience, and calm only come with age. And it should be REALLY offensive to people of all ages to suggest that money is what makes one a better parent.

Have children whenever you want -- really. Just don't try to suggest that we (young but still secure and relaxed) are the anomaly when it comes to good parenting.

One older poster mentioned that the older moms have to point out these "advantages" and defend themselves b/c "society" looks down on older moms. This might be the most telling post in the whole thread, as it reveals the defensiveness that inspires these "young moms are the bad ones!" posts.

Well said! And I for one feel like this post has become a battle of the ages...So this is what I have to say:

TO ALL OF THE OLDER WOMEN....YOU USE TO BE YOUNG, YOU CHOSE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IN A DIFFERENT WAY AND YOU TOOK A DIFFERENT ROAD THAN US YOUNGER WOMEN DID

TO ALL OF THE YOUNGER WOMEN....WE WILL ONE DAY BE OLDER, LETS JUST MAKE A PROMISE TO NEVER BE AS BITTER, CONDESENDING AND SELF RIGHTEOUS AS THE OLDER WOMEN ON THIS THREAD.

I for one have learned a lot from the 40+ on the thread....not to let my age speak out of my ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't put her husband in the "older" category as it pertains to this discussion; you have no idea how old her children are.

The idea that you have to be older to be financially responsible is patently false and offensive.

And I'm not the PP who said that she and her husband are 33 and 37, but my husband and I are even younger. We have no consumer debt either, and I stay at home. We both have graduate degrees. Yes, we are still paying off my husband's student loans. However, we're paying off his student loans as quickly as we can, and we can afford them because he went to a great law school, did well there, and has a very good salary.

It's offensive to young moms to suggest that financial responsibility, stability, marital strength, patience, and calm only come with age. And it should be REALLY offensive to people of all ages to suggest that money is what makes one a better parent.

Have children whenever you want -- really. Just don't try to suggest that we (young but still secure and relaxed) are the anomaly when it comes to good parenting.

One older poster mentioned that the older moms have to point out these "advantages" and defend themselves b/c "society" looks down on older moms. This might be the most telling post in the whole thread, as it reveals the defensiveness that inspires these "young moms are the bad ones!" posts.

Well said! And I for one feel like this post has become a battle of the ages...So this is what I have to say:

TO ALL OF THE OLDER WOMEN....YOU USE TO BE YOUNG, YOU CHOSE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IN A DIFFERENT WAY AND YOU TOOK A DIFFERENT ROAD THAN US YOUNGER WOMEN DID

TO ALL OF THE YOUNGER WOMEN....WE WILL ONE DAY BE OLDER, LETS JUST MAKE A PROMISE TO NEVER BE AS BITTER, CONDESENDING AND SELF RIGHTEOUS AS THE OLDER WOMEN ON THIS THREAD.

I for one have learned a lot from the 40+ on the thread....not to let my age speak out of my ass.

Well said and my our tits not sag...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't put her husband in the "older" category as it pertains to this discussion; you have no idea how old her children are.

The idea that you have to be older to be financially responsible is patently false and offensive.

And I'm not the PP who said that she and her husband are 33 and 37, but my husband and I are even younger. We have no consumer debt either, and I stay at home. We both have graduate degrees. Yes, we are still paying off my husband's student loans. However, we're paying off his student loans as quickly as we can, and we can afford them because he went to a great law school, did well there, and has a very good salary.

It's offensive to young moms to suggest that financial responsibility, stability, marital strength, patience, and calm only come with age. And it should be REALLY offensive to people of all ages to suggest that money is what makes one a better parent.

Have children whenever you want -- really. Just don't try to suggest that we (young but still secure and relaxed) are the anomaly when it comes to good parenting.

One older poster mentioned that the older moms have to point out these "advantages" and defend themselves b/c "society" looks down on older moms. This might be the most telling post in the whole thread, as it reveals the defensiveness that inspires these "young moms are the bad ones!" posts.

Well said! And I for one feel like this post has become a battle of the ages...So this is what I have to say:

TO ALL OF THE OLDER WOMEN....YOU USE TO BE YOUNG, YOU CHOSE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IN A DIFFERENT WAY AND YOU TOOK A DIFFERENT ROAD THAN US YOUNGER WOMEN DID

TO ALL OF THE YOUNGER WOMEN....WE WILL ONE DAY BE OLDER, LETS JUST MAKE A PROMISE TO NEVER BE AS BITTER, CONDESENDING AND SELF RIGHTEOUS AS THE OLDER WOMEN ON THIS THREAD.

I for one have learned a lot from the 40+ on the thread....not to let my age speak out of my ass.

Well said and my our tits not sag...

Well I breast fed and my tits were HUGE when I preggers sooooo they have a little bit of saggage....but nothing that Victorias Secret can't fix and after I have my next one...nothing that a plastic surgeon can't fix...LMFAO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I for one have learned a lot from the 40+ on the thread....not to let my age speak out of my ass.

Sorry, I think you just did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't put her husband in the "older" category as it pertains to this discussion; you have no idea how old her children are.

I don't think you have read the entire post. Why are the ages of her children relevant to a discussion about good parenting here?

The idea that you have to be older to be financially responsible is patently false and offensive.

Again, you have not read the entire post. Nobdy said you had to be older to be 'financially responsible.' What I said was that generally older people, late 30's and beyond, achieve financial stability. Financial responsibility and financial stability are two different words and they mean two different things.

And I'm not the PP who said that she and her husband are 33 and 37, but my husband and I are even younger. We have no consumer debt either, and I stay at home. We both have graduate degrees. Yes, we are still paying off my husband's student loans. However, we're paying off his student loans as quickly as we can, and we can afford them because he went to a great law school, did well there, and has a very good salary.

Are you typical of a 20's or 30's mom then?

It's offensive to young moms to suggest that financial responsibility, stability, marital strength, patience, and calm only come with age. And it should be REALLY offensive to people of all ages to suggest that money is what makes one a better parent.

Again, it's not financial responsibility but financial stability that was discussed in this post. Lots of young people can be financially resposible, but most are not yet financially stable.

Have children whenever you want -- really. Just don't try to suggest that we (young but still secure and relaxed) are the anomaly when it comes to good parenting.

Yes, that's precisely what I suggested because financial security and stability does correlate with age and I just sent that article out not too many pages back about a study that did suggest older moms do tend to make better parents because of these factors and others. Again, there are plenty of financially stable and secure moms. It's just not the majority.

One older poster mentioned that the older moms have to point out these "advantages" and defend themselves b/c "society" looks down on older moms. This might be the most telling post in the whole thread, as it reveals the defensiveness that inspires these "young moms are the bad ones!" posts.

So what would you say inspires young women's defensiveness when they speak about older women being too old to run after our children, wearing depends undergarments, our sagging jawlines, our sagging breasts, the fact that we will be dead when our grandchildren are born, and listing all the birth defects that come along with age?


Well said! And I for one feel like this post has become a battle of the ages...So this is what I have to say:

TO ALL OF THE OLDER WOMEN....YOU USE TO BE YOUNG, YOU CHOSE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IN A DIFFERENT WAY AND YOU TOOK A DIFFERENT ROAD THAN US YOUNGER WOMEN DID

TO ALL OF THE YOUNGER WOMEN....WE WILL ONE DAY BE OLDER, LETS JUST MAKE A PROMISE TO NEVER BE AS BITTER, CONDESENDING AND SELF RIGHTEOUS AS THE OLDER WOMEN ON THIS THREAD.

Nobody's bitter. Honestly, I for one am not. Young people are not as financially stable and this affects parenting. It's not a statement of intentional condescension, it is merely a fact based on studies. This is analagous to young women pointing out that older women are more likely to have certain birth defects. That's not a statement of condescension, it's a fact. But it depends on how one looks at the statistics of birth defects that makes us older women still feel we have a great likelihood of having a healthy baby. Take your emotions out of this and look at this statistically and generally.

I for one have learned a lot from the 40+ on the thread....not to let my age speak out of my ass.

But you just did let your age speak out of your __ because younger women are also more likely to communicate the way you just did here with this comment. __.

Well said and my our tits not sag...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Three words for you sweetpea...MARCH OF DIMES. Go and do your own research.

March of Dimes? You're that crass that you can make fun of sick children?

Three words for you, hon, Psychiatric Institute of Washington

[Anonymous]

I have an idea...lets close this thread. Enough has been said. Merry Christmas all!

[Anonymous]

And to dear 18:34, bless your heart, maybe you'll learn the rudiments of proper grammar by the time you get to be as old as some of us "40+" moms ...

[Anonymous]

So what would you say inspires young women's defensiveness when they speak about older women being too old to run after our children, wearing depends undergarments, our sagging jawlines, our sagging breasts, the fact that we will be dead when our grandchildren are born, and listing all the birth defects that come along with age?

I don't know -- I didn't say any of those things, and I think those posts are way off-base and unnecessary. I sincerely think you should have children whenever it works out for you. I don't think I am a better mother because I'm younger, but neither do I think that you are because you are older.

I did read all of your posts about financial responsbility/stability, and I stand by everything that I said in that regard. As to the age of a PP's husband being older or not, of course it matters for the sake of this discussion. In the context of this discussion, he would be an "older" father if he had a baby at 37... but what if he had a 12-year-old? That's all I meant.

My point is simply, for the thousandth time, that what you are talking about is simply being RICHER. Not financially stable, not financially responsible, not calmer or more relaxed or in a better marriage.... you are just talking about being richer. Is it more likely that a 40-year-old will have more money than a 30-year-old? Yes, sure. But not by the margin that you suggest. If you are talking about graduate degrees, impressive careers, etc., people get started on those things much earlier than you are giving them credit for. I believe that for the most, while your salary will increase somewhat as you age and your debts will increase, if you are of the professional station that you seem to be discussing, you were probably "financially stable" well before your late 30s.

Furthermore, several posters have touted all the perks that 40-something parents can provide -- travel, etc. Agreed that there are definitely potential perks that money can provide -- that is obvious -- but do you really want to make the argument that wealthier women make better mothers (calmer, more relaxed, more patient, etc.) as you have been? You can discuss in terms of age and financial stability, but come on. You are saying that the older you are, the more likely it is that you have accumulated wealth, and that it's that accumulated wealth that makes you capable of being a better mother. This is FAR more provocative point that simply arguing age, and I think when you really break down what you are saying and speak plainly, your position becomes untenable.

As for my situation (early 30's, etc.), you asked did I think I'm typical of most 20s and 30s moms. The answer is, sadly, no. But I don't think that has to do with age. You (I assume from your posts) and I are both atypical of parents (of either of our respective ages) because we are both apparently more educated and more well off than most of the population. We are lucky.

I do think, however, that my situation is typical for the people I know with comparable education. When you are talking about people who will eventually have one or more graduate degrees, will have significant career advancements, high salaries, and the "financial stability" that you speak of, then yes, I do think my husband and I are typical. Far from being the outlier, I think that it's actually the opposite. I think that someone as well-educated and professional as you posit will usually reach "financial stability" far earlier than in their 40s, and anyone who doesn't get there until they are 40 is behind that particular curve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So what would you say inspires young women's defensiveness when they speak about older women being too old to run after our children, wearing depends undergarments, our sagging jawlines, our sagging breasts, the fact that we will be dead when our grandchildren are born, and listing all the birth defects that come along with age?

I don't know -- I didn't say any of those things, and I think those posts are way off-base and unnecessary. I sincerely think you should have children whenever it works out for you. I don't think I am a better mother because I'm younger, but neither do I think that you are because you are older.

I know it's not politically correct to speak about age and parenting in the way I have in these posts. When a young parent hears an older mom say that wealth makes for stability and security on various levels and this makes for better parenting, she will instinctively feel irritated. And when an older mom hears younger moms remind us of birth defects and our aches and pains, older moms will also instinctively lash out. But what I'm really asking people to do here is to try to remove the instinctive, knee-jerk emotions from our discussion and just look at the statistics and generalities and try to evaluate this discussion objectively. Let us acknowledge that older moms are more likely to have birth defects. Let us acknowledge also that older moms are generally more tired and perhaps find it harder to chase after young children. Let us also admit that generally older moms are not likely to live to see their grandchildren grow up. Some of these may affect older moms ability to be the best parent. Indeed her children might feel the pain of the passing of a parent before they are old enough to truly digest and accept it. BUT - let us then also acknowledge that older parents do have financial stability and it may indeed affect parenting for the better. Call it "richness," or "wealth," or "money" if you will. The term we use to refer to that situation in life is not really relevant. We are all talking about the same thing - it's that situation where older people have major loans paid off, enough money to raise their child and see them through college and beyond, to have the affordability to stay at home if they desire, that I am arguing brings tremendous peace of mind to parenting and the ability to give their children some things that they might not be able to give if they were much younger. Calling attention to these things, even if some of these things are material in nature, does not have to imply that love, trust, kindness are devalued by older moms. Of course SAHM love their children equally and are likely doing an equally good job of teaching their children about love, trust, and kindness. Of course older parents who can take their child to see Africa or Australia or South America love their children immensely and are probably also teaching their child about love, trust, and kindness. The older parents who can easily pay for expensive schooling isn't necessarily devoid of love and failing to teach her child about love. It's just that the security and stability older parents have provides the 'icing on the cake' so to speak, additional perks that do benefit the child as well as make for a more relaxed parent who feels more focused on their child.

I did read all of your posts about financial responsbility/stability, and I stand by everything that I said in that regard. As to the age of a PP's husband being older or not, of course it matters for the sake of this discussion. In the context of this discussion, he would be an "older" father if he had a baby at 37... but what if he had a 12-year-old? That's all I meant. Well I had said that older parents have two benefits: 1) accumulated wealth/financial stability and 2) peace of mind/patience/maturity. I was referring to the example of the 37 year old father in terms of how much wealth he would have accumulated by his age as compared to if he was 30.

My point is simply, for the thousandth time, that what you are talking about is simply being RICHER. Not financially stable, not financially responsible, not calmer or more relaxed or in a better marriage.... you are just talking about being richer. Is it more likely that a 40-year-old will have more money than a 30-year-old? Yes, sure. But not by the margin that you suggest. If you are talking about graduate degrees, impressive careers, etc., people get started on those things much earlier than you are giving them credit for. I believe that for the most, while your salary will increase somewhat as you age and your debts will increase, if you are of the professional station that you seem to be discussing, you were probably "financially stable" well before your late 30s. No, I am not just talking about being richer. I'm taking about being richer AND also having some peace of mind to focus more on a child. Granted there are many moms who are SAHM and focus on their child every day the entire day, but they lack financial stability. And there are many moms who have financial stability even though they are young, but these moms are still very much focused on their careers. As that article states (of study from UK), many older parents feel they have already accomplished everything they wished to, so their concern and focus is no longer on their career or that bonus or their next raise but rather on just raising their child.

Furthermore, several posters have touted all the perks that 40-something parents can provide -- travel, etc. Agreed that there are definitely potential perks that money can provide -- that is obvious -- but do you really want to make the argument that wealthier women make better mothers (calmer, more relaxed, more patient, etc.) as you have been? You can discuss in terms of age and financial stability, but come on. You are saying that the older you are, the more likely it is that you have accumulated wealth, and that it's that accumulated wealth that makes you capable of being a better mother. This is FAR more provocative point that simply arguing age, and I think when you really break down what you are saying and speak plainly, your position becomes untenable.

But this isn't merely personal opinion, I also sent a link to the UK study that showed older parents do benefit from these in their parenting.

As for my situation (early 30's, etc.), you asked did I think I'm typical of most 20s and 30s moms. The answer is, sadly, no. But I don't think that has to do with age. You (I assume from your posts) and I are both atypical of parents (of either of our respective ages) because we are both apparently more educated and more well off than most of the population. We are lucky. With the exception of people like you, wealth is accumulated beginning in the late 30's and even beyond for most people. Thus for the general population, wealth does correlate with age.

I do think, however, that my situation is typical for the people I know with comparable education. When you are talking about people who will eventually have one or more graduate degrees, will have significant career advancements, high salaries, and the "financial stability" that you speak of, then yes, I do think my husband and I are typical. Far from being the outlier, I think that it's actually the opposite. I think that someone as well-educated and professional as you posit will usually reach "financial stability" far earlier than in their 40s, and anyone who doesn't get there until they are 40 is behind that particular curve.

Yes, but we are not really talking about exceptional cases such as yourself. We are talking about the general population, in which wealth accumulates in later ages. For those who have managed to accumulate wealth much earlier, age is [u]still a factor that affects parenting. AS I said earlier, young people who happen to be rich rarely quit their careers at 32 forever to devote to being a full-time SAHM. They are still focused on their jobs, their careers, they have a strong desire to still work. They want it all - kids and career so they juggle and multi-task. Multi-tasking isn't always best for kids. [/u]

[Anonymous]

We are all talking about the same thing - it's that situation where older people have major loans paid off, enough money to raise their child and see them through college and beyond, to have the affordability to stay at home if they desire, that I am arguing brings tremendous peace of mind to parenting and the ability to give their children some things that they might not be able to give if they were much younger.

Your posts all act as if we are stuck in the financial situation that we live in when our first child is born. Even if you're correct, young moms can achieve all this "icing on the cake" that you're talking about, too. People don't stop aging/maturing/earning/saving when the child is born! Assuming even that young parents don't have these things BEFORE the child is born, they will still continue to work toward them through a child's young childhood (even if only one parent works). Assuming you're right and, say, a 42-year-old can achieve the "financial stability" (still a misnomer, you're just talking about getting rich) that a 32-year-old likely won't. Fine. So a younger mom can have a child at, say, 31 and her family can still reach that "financial stability" of which you speak before her child is even in middle school. Looks like we get the best of the both worlds!