Why do White People seem so happy most of the time?

[Anonymous]

The Texas A&M shooter is also a white male.

Perhaps he would have nicely asked the man on the Metro to move his bicycle.

[Anonymous]

Why doesn't someone start a new thread: "WWYD...bike on metro" so we can get off of this aweful example.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the metro bike incident doesn't have anything to do with happiness.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Metro - rush hour --the guy was probably repositioning his bike each time b/c each time the doors open, people get in and out, and everybody has to readjust. He probably was trying to keep the bike in the least amount of space possible and it woudl be hard to make sure the bike didn't touch at least one person on all sides at any given point in time. It sounds like he honestly was trying his best, to this person who has been in this position only about a thousand times on crowded rush hours. And in this type of situation, if everyone is doign their best to occupy the least amount of space possible and it's hot and crowded and we all just have to be patient, if then a SEATED passenger got persnickety about someting -- whoa, I'd be like, "That chick is waaaaay over-reacting. Does she think everyone on here is having a picnic? No, we're all just doing our best and keeping quiet until we can mercifully get to our own stop and get off." Lordy lordy!!

So, if you're on the Metro with a bike and despite your best efforts, you continue to hit someone with your bike, you don't say "Excuse me"? Since when does rush hour overrule common decency? And if the person asked you to move your bike, would you still not apologize, but rather say "Calm down"?

Yep, I'd be sort of embarrassed and be like, "Whoa whoa howa, ok, calm down there, lady! Here, I am repositioning the bike! See: nice and slowly so no one gets hurt and no one flies off the handle again. Bike is moved. Ok? Ok? Everybody good now?" and then in my head, "I'd be thinking, 'This is why you really have to be careful on the Metro! You just never know what nutcase is going to fly off the handle for some perceived slight!'")

WTF, you don't apologize for hitting someone??!! Whether accidental or not, most rational and courteous people would apologize. Wow...I can't believe people are so clueless and rude!

It's really strange that everyone is claiming that white people are more polite, yet many white people responding to this thread think the right response to hitting someone with your bike is "calm down."
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Context is important. Hitting someone on purpose out of the blue in an uncrowded environment? Absolutely merits apology. Bumpign someone by accident when trying to keep bike upright and in as tight a position as possible in as chaotic an environment as the Metro? Falls under the categoray of, "Thigns happen. It's Metro, not the Ritz. Get over iyourself and stop being a prima donna and going on and on about respect."

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Suicide Rates* Among Persons Ages 10 Years and Older, by Race/Ethnicity and Sex, United States, 2005–2009


http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/suicide/statistics/rates02.html

Wow- I'm surprised at how much more prevalent it is amongst men vs women.

Great point, I am surprised too. Suicide story seems to be about gender, not race. To the PP focused suicide rates: why don't you open a new thread, and we leave this one to discuss OP's question and Metro example?

The OP asked about happiness. A race of people with a suicide problem doesn't seem very happy to me. Seems relevant.

How does this graph show a race of people with suicide problems - am I missing something? The highest rate is amongst AI/AK Native MEN, second-highest is white MEN, third-highest is Hispanic MEN, fourth-highest is black MEN, 5th highest Asian MEN - after this follows the womens stats. To me, more than anything this shows that men unfortunately turn to suicide way more than women. I think men tend to feel like more of a failure if they do not succeed and see themselves as "less of a man" if they do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like Metro lady was just a loose cannon ready to explode at the slightest perceived slight, and it just happened to be Bike Man.

Yeah, that's exactly what it sounds like.

[Anonymous]

15:53, I disagree. He should have apologized the first time it happened, and explained that he was trying to control the bike but it was hard. She shouldn't have had to bring it up. She shouldn't have brought it up the way she did, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, the metro bike incident doesn't have anything to do with happiness.

I've been trying to figure out why OP shared this as a good example of what prompted original question, and I agree link seems tenuous at best.

Reading between the lines, probably too hard, may OP's original question be rephrased as:

Why do white people seem to be "happy" even when they are wrong, while black people seem to be "not happy" even when they are right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Metro - rush hour --the guy was probably repositioning his bike each time b/c each time the doors open, people get in and out, and everybody has to readjust. He probably was trying to keep the bike in the least amount of space possible and it woudl be hard to make sure the bike didn't touch at least one person on all sides at any given point in time. It sounds like he honestly was trying his best, to this person who has been in this position only about a thousand times on crowded rush hours. And in this type of situation, if everyone is doign their best to occupy the least amount of space possible and it's hot and crowded and we all just have to be patient, if then a SEATED passenger got persnickety about someting -- whoa, I'd be like, "That chick is waaaaay over-reacting. Does she think everyone on here is having a picnic? No, we're all just doing our best and keeping quiet until we can mercifully get to our own stop and get off." Lordy lordy!!

So, if you're on the Metro with a bike and despite your best efforts, you continue to hit someone with your bike, you don't say "Excuse me"? Since when does rush hour overrule common decency? And if the person asked you to move your bike, would you still not apologize, but rather say "Calm down"?

Yep, I'd be sort of embarrassed and be like, "Whoa whoa howa, ok, calm down there, lady! Here, I am repositioning the bike! See: nice and slowly so no one gets hurt and no one flies off the handle again. Bike is moved. Ok? Ok? Everybody good now?" and then in my head, "I'd be thinking, 'This is why you really have to be careful on the Metro! You just never know what nutcase is going to fly off the handle for some perceived slight!'")

WTF, you don't apologize for hitting someone??!! Whether accidental or not, most rational and courteous people would apologize. Wow...I can't believe people are so clueless and rude!

I think you have outsized expectations for what happens to one on Metro. Metro is not sitting in first class on an airplane being served peanuts and sipping champagne. On Metro, it's close quarters, things are tight, you get bumped and you accidentally bump people, it's hot and unpleasant, people are tired, hot, and sometimes smelly. Everybody just stays quiet and keeps their head down and tries to get through it together until you get to your stop and get off. Making a big to-do b/c you got bumped? This is prima donna behavior, and the OPPOSITE ofrational, or courteous. It is in fact clueless and rude, to put it in your own words!

Wow...I can't imagine grown people not understanding the concept of apologizing when they bump/hit someone. I've been on the Metro many times where I've carried a heavy bag/purse and I've bumped someone with it. My automatic response is "Excuse me" or "Sorry about that". I couldn't fathom not saying anything. Wow...just wow. Expecting common courtesy is now considered prima donna behavior? Were you raised by boors?

[Anonymous]

Do you know why Native males have the highest suicide rates? There's a cultural reason.

Do you know why black women have the lowest suicide rates? There's a cultural reason.

There's also a cultural reason white men and women have the highest suicide rates after Native men and women (who have high suicide rates for socioeconomic and culture stress reasons).

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think there are a few things to take into account.

The bike wheel was obviously dirty. Who knows where the biker had been riding. The lady kept moving the wheel and the guy kept putting it back touching her. Personal space violation should not be tolerated.

I was always told that if your clothes are dirty, people will think you are dirty and disrespect you. Maybe she was concerned about this. There was a post a back in GP about how minority children are viewed differently when dressed down or having dirt on their clothes than white children http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/192529.page .

We can all agree that what he did was rude and gross. But it's still not a big deal until you throw the feeling of being disrespected into the mix. Maybe she was being disrespected and he wouldn't have done it to a white woman but who knows? She didn't know that and she overreacted.

What in the OP's story makes you think the woman overreacted?

(Different PP here) A few reasons:

1) She didn't say anything the first couple of times it happened, which, if I had been in her shoes, would have built my own internal anger level, leading to "passive aggressive" behavior (true, I am projecting from my own experience)
2) The language used by the OP to describe her reaction
3) The fact that other passengers chose to display sympathy to the biker. Which is quite rare - most people are often annoyed when people bring in bikes, especially when metro is crowded.

Why don't why we ask OP, who was there?

OP, what do you think would have happened if all races were reversed (black rider, white seating passenger, black passengers around)? and how does this link to your original question?

This goes to the "lack of benefit of the doubt" that many black people get. You are perpetrating this very thing. Without being a witness to the incident, you immediately side with the biker. This could have been the same with the Metro riders...they assumed the biker had an "angry black woman" on his hands and showed him sympathy.

Lots of interactions happen on the Metro and you usually aren't privy to all of the details. Perhaps these "witnesses" did not see the bike constantly hitting the woman's leg and only heard her when she told him to move it.

If the woman kept moving the bike so that he wouldn't hit her and the biker kept positioning himself in a way where the wheel would keep hitting her, his conduct was outrageous.

So she was fine to up the ante and say, "I am going to kick your bike"???? Man, no way. Don't understand this at all. Nuh uh. Nooo way.

Uhmmm...this came after the man told her to "calm down". He completely disregarded her feelings. I'm not surprised this is your position on the issue.

So when people tell you to calm down, you say, "I am going to kick you." Okayyyyy. Explains what is wrong with a lot in America these days!!

Your reasoning skills are subpar. It's not him saying calm down, it's about him disregarding her feelings. If he'd apologized and she continued to go off, you would have a point. The lack of an apology is extremely rude. Your lack of understanding on this really sheds light on the amount of rude people who barrel into you while trying to catch the train with absolutely no apology.

So, if someone disregards your feelings, this gives you license to say, "I am going to kick you"???

What I am trying to get at is: in a civilized society, basically nothing gives anyone license to say, "I am going to kick you." Unless you are stealing my child or my wallet, I am NEVER saying, "I will kick you," to any other human being on this planet. That is , not since I was about. . .7-8 years old??

Look at how easily facts get twisted. The black woman did not say she was going to kick the man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wow...I can't imagine grown people not understanding the concept of apologizing when they bump/hit someone. I've been on the Metro many times where I've carried a heavy bag/purse and I've bumped someone with it. My automatic response is "Excuse me" or "Sorry about that". I couldn't fathom not saying anything. Wow...just wow. Expecting common courtesy is now considered prima donna behavior? Were you raised by boors?

This is my line of thinking. It seems that people are going out of their way to excuse the bicycle dude's rudeness. If I bump into someone, step on their shoe, or anything like it, I apologize profusely. I certainly wouldn't say calm down- that's rude and it's like you're trying to get a negative reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Texas A&M shooter is also a white male.

Perhaps he would have nicely asked the man on the Metro to move his bicycle.

This is actually an interesting point. Many white people bottle their emotions until they erupt...usually with dire consequences. So while they may not spank their kids, they might one day get fed up and kill them. And while they might not have a good old-fashioned fist fight in school, they may plot to blow the bldg up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think there are a few things to take into account.

The bike wheel was obviously dirty. Who knows where the biker had been riding. The lady kept moving the wheel and the guy kept putting it back touching her. Personal space violation should not be tolerated.

I was always told that if your clothes are dirty, people will think you are dirty and disrespect you. Maybe she was concerned about this. There was a post a back in GP about how minority children are viewed differently when dressed down or having dirt on their clothes than white children http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/192529.page .

We can all agree that what he did was rude and gross. But it's still not a big deal until you throw the feeling of being disrespected into the mix. Maybe she was being disrespected and he wouldn't have done it to a white woman but who knows? She didn't know that and she overreacted.

What in the OP's story makes you think the woman overreacted?

(Different PP here) A few reasons:

1) She didn't say anything the first couple of times it happened, which, if I had been in her shoes, would have built my own internal anger level, leading to "passive aggressive" behavior (true, I am projecting from my own experience)
2) The language used by the OP to describe her reaction
3) The fact that other passengers chose to display sympathy to the biker. Which is quite rare - most people are often annoyed when people bring in bikes, especially when metro is crowded.

Why don't why we ask OP, who was there?

OP, what do you think would have happened if all races were reversed (black rider, white seating passenger, black passengers around)? and how does this link to your original question?

This goes to the "lack of benefit of the doubt" that many black people get. You are perpetrating this very thing. Without being a witness to the incident, you immediately side with the biker. This could have been the same with the Metro riders...they assumed the biker had an "angry black woman" on his hands and showed him sympathy.

Lots of interactions happen on the Metro and you usually aren't privy to all of the details. Perhaps these "witnesses" did not see the bike constantly hitting the woman's leg and only heard her when she told him to move it.

If the woman kept moving the bike so that he wouldn't hit her and the biker kept positioning himself in a way where the wheel would keep hitting her, his conduct was outrageous.

So she was fine to up the ante and say, "I am going to kick your bike"???? Man, no way. Don't understand this at all. Nuh uh. Nooo way.

Uhmmm...this came after the man told her to "calm down". He completely disregarded her feelings. I'm not surprised this is your position on the issue.

So when people tell you to calm down, you say, "I am going to kick you." Okayyyyy. Explains what is wrong with a lot in America these days!!

Your reasoning skills are subpar. It's not him saying calm down, it's about him disregarding her feelings. If he'd apologized and she continued to go off, you would have a point. The lack of an apology is extremely rude. Your lack of understanding on this really sheds light on the amount of rude people who barrel into you while trying to catch the train with absolutely no apology.

So, if someone disregards your feelings, this gives you license to say, "I am going to kick you"???

What I am trying to get at is: in a civilized society, basically nothing gives anyone license to say, "I am going to kick you." Unless you are stealing my child or my wallet, I am NEVER saying, "I will kick you," to any other human being on this planet. That is , not since I was about. . .7-8 years old??

Look at how easily facts get twisted. The black woman did not say she was going to kick the man.

I would never say I would kick ANYTHING, a bike, a person, an ant on the ground. Nothing in this world would make me say, "I am going to kick some of your personal property." Outlandish!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Context is important. Hitting someone on purpose out of the blue in an uncrowded environment? Absolutely merits apology. Bumpign someone by accident when trying to keep bike upright and in as tight a position as possible in as chaotic an environment as the Metro? Falls under the categoray of, "Thigns happen. It's Metro, not the Ritz. Get over iyourself and stop being a prima donna and going on and on about respect."

It's just strange to me. Even if it was accidental and on a crowded bus or train, I'd just say sorry. I don't think it's being a prima donna to be upset about a dirty bike that repeatedly hits you. If it's my object that is bothering someone, I'll just apologize.

A question- are the people who were saying earlier in the day that they smile so they don't seem like grouches the same ones saying it's no big deal and not worthy of a "sorry" to hit someone with your dirty bike?