Any other women quiet quitting your marriage?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about emotionally detaching and reducing effort in the marriage to the bare minimum. I’m burnt out from a full-time job and being the default parent. At the end of the day, my kids, clients, and husband take everything I have to give, leaving nothing for me. I’m sick of all his “work” conferences, dinners, and pleasure trips while I’m breaking my back at work and at home. I’m just done. He adds no value to my life anymore. I’m calendaring my own solo bucket-list trips this year. I’m not communicating with him outside of necessary parenting. I’m dropping the rope on anything related to his family. I’m investing my time and income in myself, my kids, and my friendships. He gets nothing from me. How long can this last? Long enough to finish raising kids? I won’t exactly be sad if it leads to divorce, so fear of divorce is not motivating me to keep trying.

You sound passive-aggressive. That doesn’t solve any issues.

How is self-care passive-aggressive?

DP - By definition "quiet" anything is passive aggressive. Direct aggressive is confronting with: "Henceforth X is what's happening, because Y and therefore Z". Announcing to the anonymous internet you're "quitting" is passive weak sauce bullshit.

You brought children into the world with a non-parent. Take full responsibility. Now.

Nope, incorrect.

If you previously used to wipe down the coffee machine at work because it was gross and you didn't want to touch it, sure it's a choice. If you choose to stop wiping down the coffee machine at work and just get coffee elsewhere, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra task.

You seem really confused about what this phrase means.

Nope, incorrect.

If a man previously used to work hard to fund extras like international vacations, a large house, and new luxury cars, sure it's a choice. If he chooses to stop funding extras and instead moves the family to a modest house with one vacation per year at Myrtle Beach and two Honda Accords, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra.

You seem really confused about what these men are really offering, and what these wives actually offer in return.

OP here. The thing is, my income is integral to our lifestyle. And without getting into personal details, much of our spending is directly tied to DH, not me. It's not a marriage where I'm living a soft life while he provides for the family. I'm doing it all, but I don't get the basic respect and human decency I deserve. He just dumps his social and career-adjacent calendar on me like I'm always available to pick up all the slack at home. I am, because I'm not going to let the kids down, but I am just so done with the rest. Like, any part of the marriage not directly related to parenting - done.

Round numbers: how much do you make? How much does he make?

DP. How much money would someone have to make to justify not treating their spouse with respect and human decency?

Is it a specific number? Or a percentage of the HHI?

If one spouse works 65 hours a week and makes $600k, and the other works 40 hours a week and makes $125k, is it reasonable that one of them should do more around the house than the other? Or further, even if they both work 40 hours a week, why divide the remainder of life's work evenly? They don't divide the money-earning evenly. I don't understand why people don't just hire help. But a lot of wives refuse b/c it's power trip to bttch to their husband about his not mowing the lawn/sacking the trash/loading the dishwasher. All things that could be done by a greencard holder for $20/hr.

If, in this instance, the man making $600k said, “I’m not able to help around the house because I am working, so I am going to hire someone to do my share of the chores,” I think that would be more than fine.
Or if he said, “I make 80-85% of the income, so I will only do 15-20% of the household chores.” That would also be more or less okay.

What doesn’t work is when he says, “I make a high income, so I am going to do 0% of the housework, not even the things that I was doing when I was living on my own before we were married.”

I am the PP and I agree with you 100%. The husband should take the initiative to hire out some of the household chores to ease the burden on his wife. If he doesn't, it also seems reasonable that she hires out some of these chores if she is overworked, which she is. Hire a cleaner and a lunch packer for heaven's sake.

High income couples headed for divorce instead of hiring household help is mind-boggling. Household help comes at a fraction of the cost of divorce! It's nuts!

DP It's almost never about the help. It's about one spouse quitting the other: quitting the family, quitting the marriage, quitting the other spouse entirely. Not caring. At all.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like OP wants out.
Divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OP wants out.
Divorce

It's a major decision, but the kids in this environment.... many people have expressed how much they wish their parents divorced. This is just going to get uglier and uglier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about emotionally detaching and reducing effort in the marriage to the bare minimum. I’m burnt out from a full-time job and being the default parent. At the end of the day, my kids, clients, and husband take everything I have to give, leaving nothing for me. I’m sick of all his “work” conferences, dinners, and pleasure trips while I’m breaking my back at work and at home. I’m just done. He adds no value to my life anymore. I’m calendaring my own solo bucket-list trips this year. I’m not communicating with him outside of necessary parenting. I’m dropping the rope on anything related to his family. I’m investing my time and income in myself, my kids, and my friendships. He gets nothing from me. How long can this last? Long enough to finish raising kids? I won’t exactly be sad if it leads to divorce, so fear of divorce is not motivating me to keep trying.

You sound passive-aggressive. That doesn’t solve any issues.

How is self-care passive-aggressive?

DP - By definition "quiet" anything is passive aggressive. Direct aggressive is confronting with: "Henceforth X is what's happening, because Y and therefore Z". Announcing to the anonymous internet you're "quitting" is passive weak sauce bullshit.

You brought children into the world with a non-parent. Take full responsibility. Now.

Nope, incorrect.

If you previously used to wipe down the coffee machine at work because it was gross and you didn't want to touch it, sure it's a choice. If you choose to stop wiping down the coffee machine at work and just get coffee elsewhere, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra task.

You seem really confused about what this phrase means.

Nope, incorrect.

If a man previously used to work hard to fund extras like international vacations, a large house, and new luxury cars, sure it's a choice. If he chooses to stop funding extras and instead moves the family to a modest house with one vacation per year at Myrtle Beach and two Honda Accords, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra.

You seem really confused about what these men are really offering, and what these wives actually offer in return.

OP here. The thing is, my income is integral to our lifestyle. And without getting into personal details, much of our spending is directly tied to DH, not me. It's not a marriage where I'm living a soft life while he provides for the family. I'm doing it all, but I don't get the basic respect and human decency I deserve. He just dumps his social and career-adjacent calendar on me like I'm always available to pick up all the slack at home. I am, because I'm not going to let the kids down, but I am just so done with the rest. Like, any part of the marriage not directly related to parenting - done.

Round numbers: how much do you make? How much does he make?

DP. How much money would someone have to make to justify not treating their spouse with respect and human decency?

Is it a specific number? Or a percentage of the HHI?

If one spouse works 65 hours a week and makes $600k, and the other works 40 hours a week and makes $125k, is it reasonable that one of them should do more around the house than the other? Or further, even if they both work 40 hours a week, why divide the remainder of life's work evenly? They don't divide the money-earning evenly. I don't understand why people don't just hire help. But a lot of wives refuse b/c it's power trip to bttch to their husband about his not mowing the lawn/sacking the trash/loading the dishwasher. All things that could be done by a greencard holder for $20/hr.

If, in this instance, the man making $600k said, “I’m not able to help around the house because I am working, so I am going to hire someone to do my share of the chores,” I think that would be more than fine.
Or if he said, “I make 80-85% of the income, so I will only do 15-20% of the household chores.” That would also be more or less okay.

What doesn’t work is when he says, “I make a high income, so I am going to do 0% of the housework, not even the things that I was doing when I was living on my own before we were married.”

I am the PP and I agree with you 100%. The husband should take the initiative to hire out some of the household chores to ease the burden on his wife. If he doesn't, it also seems reasonable that she hires out some of these chores if she is overworked, which she is. Hire a cleaner and a lunch packer for heaven's sake.

I’m going to disagree with you.
I don’t think that hiring a lunch packer will make OP feel that she is loved and respected.
I think that her husband hiring someone for her might.

Like if you flew to Nevada and hired a prostitute, it might fulfill a need, but it wouldn’t make you feel loved. But if your wife flew you to Nevada and hired a prostitute as part of a threesome, it would be a totally different thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about emotionally detaching and reducing effort in the marriage to the bare minimum. I’m burnt out from a full-time job and being the default parent. At the end of the day, my kids, clients, and husband take everything I have to give, leaving nothing for me. I’m sick of all his “work” conferences, dinners, and pleasure trips while I’m breaking my back at work and at home. I’m just done. He adds no value to my life anymore. I’m calendaring my own solo bucket-list trips this year. I’m not communicating with him outside of necessary parenting. I’m dropping the rope on anything related to his family. I’m investing my time and income in myself, my kids, and my friendships. He gets nothing from me. How long can this last? Long enough to finish raising kids? I won’t exactly be sad if it leads to divorce, so fear of divorce is not motivating me to keep trying.

You sound passive-aggressive. That doesn’t solve any issues.

How is self-care passive-aggressive?

DP - By definition "quiet" anything is passive aggressive. Direct aggressive is confronting with: "Henceforth X is what's happening, because Y and therefore Z". Announcing to the anonymous internet you're "quitting" is passive weak sauce bullshit.

You brought children into the world with a non-parent. Take full responsibility. Now.

Nope, incorrect.

If you previously used to wipe down the coffee machine at work because it was gross and you didn't want to touch it, sure it's a choice. If you choose to stop wiping down the coffee machine at work and just get coffee elsewhere, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra task.

You seem really confused about what this phrase means.

Nope, incorrect.

If a man previously used to work hard to fund extras like international vacations, a large house, and new luxury cars, sure it's a choice. If he chooses to stop funding extras and instead moves the family to a modest house with one vacation per year at Myrtle Beach and two Honda Accords, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra.

You seem really confused about what these men are really offering, and what these wives actually offer in return.

OP here. The thing is, my income is integral to our lifestyle. And without getting into personal details, much of our spending is directly tied to DH, not me. It's not a marriage where I'm living a soft life while he provides for the family. I'm doing it all, but I don't get the basic respect and human decency I deserve. He just dumps his social and career-adjacent calendar on me like I'm always available to pick up all the slack at home. I am, because I'm not going to let the kids down, but I am just so done with the rest. Like, any part of the marriage not directly related to parenting - done.

Round numbers: how much do you make? How much does he make?

DP. How much money would someone have to make to justify not treating their spouse with respect and human decency?

Is it a specific number? Or a percentage of the HHI?

If one spouse works 65 hours a week and makes $600k, and the other works 40 hours a week and makes $125k, is it reasonable that one of them should do more around the house than the other? Or further, even if they both work 40 hours a week, why divide the remainder of life's work evenly? They don't divide the money-earning evenly. I don't understand why people don't just hire help. But a lot of wives refuse b/c it's power trip to bttch to their husband about his not mowing the lawn/sacking the trash/loading the dishwasher. All things that could be done by a greencard holder for $20/hr.

If, in this instance, the man making $600k said, “I’m not able to help around the house because I am working, so I am going to hire someone to do my share of the chores,” I think that would be more than fine.
Or if he said, “I make 80-85% of the income, so I will only do 15-20% of the household chores.” That would also be more or less okay.

What doesn’t work is when he says, “I make a high income, so I am going to do 0% of the housework, not even the things that I was doing when I was living on my own before we were married.”

I am the PP and I agree with you 100%. The husband should take the initiative to hire out some of the household chores to ease the burden on his wife. If he doesn't, it also seems reasonable that she hires out some of these chores if she is overworked, which she is. Hire a cleaner and a lunch packer for heaven's sake.

I’m going to disagree with you.
I don’t think that hiring a lunch packer will make OP feel that she is loved and respected.
I think that her husband hiring someone for her might.

Like if you flew to Nevada and hired a prostitute, it might fulfill a need, but it wouldn’t make you feel loved. But if your wife flew you to Nevada and hired a prostitute as part of a threesome, it would be a totally different thing.

Great setup and execution 10/10. Thanks, I needed that.

[Anonymous]

I love all the people in this thread acting like what they are doing is radical, and then describing a spouse who has already quiet quit. My guess is that a lot of these posters gave up on being fun and attractive, probably earned less, took less good care of themselves, and then the husbands quiet quit. And they don't see the irony. Might as well just get divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people in this thread acting like what they are doing is radical, and then describing a spouse who has already quiet quit. My guess is that a lot of these posters gave up on being fun and attractive, probably earned less, took less good care of themselves, and then the husbands quiet quit. And they don't see the irony. Might as well just get divorced.

Most lucid analysis so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people in this thread acting like what they are doing is radical, and then describing a spouse who has already quiet quit. My guess is that a lot of these posters gave up on being fun and attractive, probably earned less, took less good care of themselves, and then the husbands quiet quit. And they don't see the irony. Might as well just get divorced.

Well there's always 2 sides to this. I don't assume the side you mention is what everyone on the thread is describing. But, there's always 2 sides to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sheesh, take accountability and authorship of your life. Either go to couples therapy or divorce.

We are in couples therapy, and all we talk about is him. I can't get a word in about my own experience of our marriage. We are going to end up divorced. And I am finally taking authorship of my own life in the interim. I just booked a 4-night solo vacation at a luxury hotel, and it feels really, really good. I'm not doing anything for his family anymore, and I never should have in the first place. Nor am I doing other things for him. I guess he hasn't cared for a long time, but I don't either now. I am taking care of myself and, by extension, my kids. They need a happy mom.

It sounds like you have a terrible therapist, based on this and your earlier response.

Find a therapist you like. Or, if you're going to get divorced do it now. Take back your agency. You're acting like a martyr/victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about emotionally detaching and reducing effort in the marriage to the bare minimum. I’m burnt out from a full-time job and being the default parent. At the end of the day, my kids, clients, and husband take everything I have to give, leaving nothing for me. I’m sick of all his “work” conferences, dinners, and pleasure trips while I’m breaking my back at work and at home. I’m just done. He adds no value to my life anymore. I’m calendaring my own solo bucket-list trips this year. I’m not communicating with him outside of necessary parenting. I’m dropping the rope on anything related to his family. I’m investing my time and income in myself, my kids, and my friendships. He gets nothing from me. How long can this last? Long enough to finish raising kids? I won’t exactly be sad if it leads to divorce, so fear of divorce is not motivating me to keep trying.

You sound passive-aggressive. That doesn’t solve any issues.

How is self-care passive-aggressive?

DP - By definition "quiet" anything is passive aggressive. Direct aggressive is confronting with: "Henceforth X is what's happening, because Y and therefore Z". Announcing to the anonymous internet you're "quitting" is passive weak sauce bullshit.

You brought children into the world with a non-parent. Take full responsibility. Now.

Nope, incorrect.

If you previously used to wipe down the coffee machine at work because it was gross and you didn't want to touch it, sure it's a choice. If you choose to stop wiping down the coffee machine at work and just get coffee elsewhere, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra task.

You seem really confused about what this phrase means.

Nope, incorrect.

If a man previously used to work hard to fund extras like international vacations, a large house, and new luxury cars, sure it's a choice. If he chooses to stop funding extras and instead moves the family to a modest house with one vacation per year at Myrtle Beach and two Honda Accords, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra.

You seem really confused about what these men are really offering, and what these wives actually offer in return.

OP here. The thing is, my income is integral to our lifestyle. And without getting into personal details, much of our spending is directly tied to DH, not me. It's not a marriage where I'm living a soft life while he provides for the family. I'm doing it all, but I don't get the basic respect and human decency I deserve. He just dumps his social and career-adjacent calendar on me like I'm always available to pick up all the slack at home. I am, because I'm not going to let the kids down, but I am just so done with the rest. Like, any part of the marriage not directly related to parenting - done.

Round numbers: how much do you make? How much does he make?

DP. How much money would someone have to make to justify not treating their spouse with respect and human decency?

Is it a specific number? Or a percentage of the HHI?

If one spouse works 65 hours a week and makes $600k, and the other works 40 hours a week and makes $125k, is it reasonable that one of them should do more around the house than the other? Or further, even if they both work 40 hours a week, why divide the remainder of life's work evenly? They don't divide the money-earning evenly. I don't understand why people don't just hire help. But a lot of wives refuse b/c it's power trip to bttch to their husband about his not mowing the lawn/sacking the trash/loading the dishwasher. All things that could be done by a greencard holder for $20/hr.

If, in this instance, the man making $600k said, “I’m not able to help around the house because I am working, so I am going to hire someone to do my share of the chores,” I think that would be more than fine.
Or if he said, “I make 80-85% of the income, so I will only do 15-20% of the household chores.” That would also be more or less okay.

What doesn’t work is when he says, “I make a high income, so I am going to do 0% of the housework, not even the things that I was doing when I was living on my own before we were married.”

I am the PP and I agree with you 100%. The husband should take the initiative to hire out some of the household chores to ease the burden on his wife. If he doesn't, it also seems reasonable that she hires out some of these chores if she is overworked, which she is. Hire a cleaner and a lunch packer for heaven's sake.

High income couples headed for divorce instead of hiring household help is mind-boggling. Household help comes at a fraction of the cost of divorce! It's nuts!

Even if you can afford it, how much parenting time should a family delegate to a nanny? If it's 40 hours a week to a nanny and all other parenting falls on OP, who works a regular job during the 40 nanny hours, it's not a great setup for OP or the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people in this thread acting like what they are doing is radical, and then describing a spouse who has already quiet quit. My guess is that a lot of these posters gave up on being fun and attractive, probably earned less, took less good care of themselves, and then the husbands quiet quit. And they don't see the irony. Might as well just get divorced.

hard to be fun and attractive and take care of yourself when 90% of your time is spent taking care of your children, your job, your household, and a manchild

but sure, it's OP who just isn't fun and cute anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people in this thread acting like what they are doing is radical, and then describing a spouse who has already quiet quit. My guess is that a lot of these posters gave up on being fun and attractive, probably earned less, took less good care of themselves, and then the husbands quiet quit. And they don't see the irony. Might as well just get divorced.

Chicken or egg I guess. Seems far more likely (and accurate) that women get saddled with the majority of child care and household chores even while working, which provides far less personal time to take care of themselves and stay fun and attractive.

Nice to read your incel fanfic I guess though. Try reddit next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people in this thread acting like what they are doing is radical, and then describing a spouse who has already quiet quit. My guess is that a lot of these posters gave up on being fun and attractive, probably earned less, took less good care of themselves, and then the husbands quiet quit. And they don't see the irony. Might as well just get divorced.

Well there's always 2 sides to this. I don't assume the side you mention is what everyone on the thread is describing. But, there's always 2 sides to this.

Well, DH quiet quit trying to be attractive or putting any effort into our relationship. He has mostly quiet quit parenting our SN kid. He makes a lot of money. I don’t as a result of stepping way back to take care of everything except making money. But I absolutely take care of myself and still look really good. I haven’t lost my sense of play or adventure, but I don’t get to exercise it with my spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about emotionally detaching and reducing effort in the marriage to the bare minimum. I’m burnt out from a full-time job and being the default parent. At the end of the day, my kids, clients, and husband take everything I have to give, leaving nothing for me. I’m sick of all his “work” conferences, dinners, and pleasure trips while I’m breaking my back at work and at home. I’m just done. He adds no value to my life anymore. I’m calendaring my own solo bucket-list trips this year. I’m not communicating with him outside of necessary parenting. I’m dropping the rope on anything related to his family. I’m investing my time and income in myself, my kids, and my friendships. He gets nothing from me. How long can this last? Long enough to finish raising kids? I won’t exactly be sad if it leads to divorce, so fear of divorce is not motivating me to keep trying.

You sound passive-aggressive. That doesn’t solve any issues.

How is self-care passive-aggressive?

DP - By definition "quiet" anything is passive aggressive. Direct aggressive is confronting with: "Henceforth X is what's happening, because Y and therefore Z". Announcing to the anonymous internet you're "quitting" is passive weak sauce bullshit.

You brought children into the world with a non-parent. Take full responsibility. Now.

Nope, incorrect.

If you previously used to wipe down the coffee machine at work because it was gross and you didn't want to touch it, sure it's a choice. If you choose to stop wiping down the coffee machine at work and just get coffee elsewhere, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra task.

You seem really confused about what this phrase means.

Nope, incorrect.

If a man previously used to work hard to fund extras like international vacations, a large house, and new luxury cars, sure it's a choice. If he chooses to stop funding extras and instead moves the family to a modest house with one vacation per year at Myrtle Beach and two Honda Accords, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra.

You seem really confused about what these men are really offering, and what these wives actually offer in return.

DP. Are we not reading the same thread?
If a man doesn’t want to drive a luxury car or take a luxury vacation and instead wants to spend more time with his family, that seems like he is actually doing the extra.

He was not doing the extra when he was spending all of his time and money on his work and special possessions and hobbies. This is literally what the OP and others are complaining about.

Dependent spouses (only some, not all by any means) talk out both sides of their mouths. They'll criticize a man ENDLESSLY for all that extra time at work, not enough time with the family, etc.

But then if he steps back and they have to dial down the lifestyle, she is bitter that she has to drive an average car, or miss out on a trip, etc. This is very much a "pick a lane" situation. I think intuitively, a lot of men know they'll get the same browbeating either way, so might as well have the money.

Then he shouldn't marry or have children if he doesn't want to be a husband or father. Seriously, what is wrong with you?

True.

The days of men marrying and having children and refusing to change a damn thing about how they spend their hours each day are long gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about emotionally detaching and reducing effort in the marriage to the bare minimum. I’m burnt out from a full-time job and being the default parent. At the end of the day, my kids, clients, and husband take everything I have to give, leaving nothing for me. I’m sick of all his “work” conferences, dinners, and pleasure trips while I’m breaking my back at work and at home. I’m just done. He adds no value to my life anymore. I’m calendaring my own solo bucket-list trips this year. I’m not communicating with him outside of necessary parenting. I’m dropping the rope on anything related to his family. I’m investing my time and income in myself, my kids, and my friendships. He gets nothing from me. How long can this last? Long enough to finish raising kids? I won’t exactly be sad if it leads to divorce, so fear of divorce is not motivating me to keep trying.

You sound passive-aggressive. That doesn’t solve any issues.

How is self-care passive-aggressive?

DP - By definition "quiet" anything is passive aggressive. Direct aggressive is confronting with: "Henceforth X is what's happening, because Y and therefore Z". Announcing to the anonymous internet you're "quitting" is passive weak sauce bullshit.

You brought children into the world with a non-parent. Take full responsibility. Now.

Nope, incorrect.

If you previously used to wipe down the coffee machine at work because it was gross and you didn't want to touch it, sure it's a choice. If you choose to stop wiping down the coffee machine at work and just get coffee elsewhere, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra task.

You seem really confused about what this phrase means.

Nope, incorrect.

If a man previously used to work hard to fund extras like international vacations, a large house, and new luxury cars, sure it's a choice. If he chooses to stop funding extras and instead moves the family to a modest house with one vacation per year at Myrtle Beach and two Honda Accords, that isn't being passive aggressive, it's just not doing the extra.

You seem really confused about what these men are really offering, and what these wives actually offer in return.

OP here. The thing is, my income is integral to our lifestyle. And without getting into personal details, much of our spending is directly tied to DH, not me. It's not a marriage where I'm living a soft life while he provides for the family. I'm doing it all, but I don't get the basic respect and human decency I deserve. He just dumps his social and career-adjacent calendar on me like I'm always available to pick up all the slack at home. I am, because I'm not going to let the kids down, but I am just so done with the rest. Like, any part of the marriage not directly related to parenting - done.

Round numbers: how much do you make? How much does he make?

DP. How much money would someone have to make to justify not treating their spouse with respect and human decency?

Is it a specific number? Or a percentage of the HHI?

Right?
"I man, I make money, I can abuse my wife and kids if I want. Because MONEY."
These men are so f***ing delusional.

DH being distant and not doing chores equals "abuse" is crazy work.

That’s the very next stop PP.
When the exhausted working wife points out his total lack of involvement in meals, home repair, children, spousal things, picking up after himself…. his misogynist verbal and emotional abuse episode kicks in.