Any other women quiet quitting your marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, based on talking to my friends, this is very common, especially for the ones who married American women. Otherwise, not so much.

Most of my friends make mid six-figures, financially very comfortable, but the wives have insisted on having a very busy career of their own--one that usually amounts to less than my friend's income tax. They've begged their wives to let the hobby job go, take more time with family, etc., but the women prefer the persecution complex of "having to do it all" and "a woman's work is never done" "third shift" and all that.

Ditto. My buddies wish for a quiet quitter, though. Theirs are pretty noisy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, based on talking to my friends, this is very common, especially for the ones who married American women. Otherwise, not so much.

Most of my friends make mid six-figures, financially very comfortable, but the wives have insisted on having a very busy career of their own--one that usually amounts to less than my friend's income tax. They've begged their wives to let the hobby job go, take more time with family, etc., but the women prefer the persecution complex of "having to do it all" and "a woman's work is never done" "third shift" and all that.

These are the garbage men like my exDH who pushed me out of the workforce because his salary made mine “pointless” and he didn’t want to do his share of parenting and wanted me to pick it up because he “was on track for seven figures”.

Well guess what? Two weeks before he hit seven figures, he served me divorce papers. Assets divide in divorce, income doesn’t.

Don’t let a manipulative man scheme to get you to carry his share and drop your salary. It’s a ploy that only benefits him.

What, pray tell, was "his share of the parenting"? Sounds like you are lazy AF.

By his share of the parenting, I mean doing more than driving the kids to school once a month and occasionally showing up to the boy’s sports games. He did literally nothing else because “slides”, “email”, “I gotta take this call.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, based on talking to my friends, this is very common, especially for the ones who married American women. Otherwise, not so much.

Most of my friends make mid six-figures, financially very comfortable, but the wives have insisted on having a very busy career of their own--one that usually amounts to less than my friend's income tax. They've begged their wives to let the hobby job go, take more time with family, etc., but the women prefer the persecution complex of "having to do it all" and "a woman's work is never done" "third shift" and all that.

These are the garbage men like my exDH who pushed me out of the workforce because his salary made mine “pointless” and he didn’t want to do his share of parenting and wanted me to pick it up because he “was on track for seven figures”.

Well guess what? Two weeks before he hit seven figures, he served me divorce papers. Assets divide in divorce, income doesn’t.

Don’t let a manipulative man scheme to get you to carry his share and drop your salary. It’s a ploy that only benefits him.

Yes! Men want women to quit their jobs so they are reliant on them. That way they can cheat and abuse and think their wife won't ever leave.

Don't let a man push you out of your own financial freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same

+2 Same.
His family relationships was the first thing I dropped a while ago. Now he rarely even talks to his family. Oh, well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I regret marriage and kids. My quality of life is soooo much lower.

I resent being the primary parent and still expected to work. He mansplains to me about finding a better job as if I could travel like he can.

He’s also unkind to me and says rude things.

Same. If I could do my life over again not a chance I'd marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I regret marriage and kids. My quality of life is soooo much lower.

I resent being the primary parent and still expected to work. He mansplains to me about finding a better job as if I could travel like he can.

He’s also unkind to me and says rude things.

Same. If I could do my life over again not a chance I'd marry.

I agree, if you are a woman there are so many other ways to have kids and a family with way more legal and financial protections!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought the “quiet quitting” trend was during Covid.

trend? Have you tried getting any form of customer service anywhere? "quiet quitting" is happening everywhere, in every single setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the “quiet quitting” trend was during Covid.

I don't think this is a trend, it's just a cute new name. It's a truism that by the time a woman tells a man she's leaving, she's tried and tried and tried to fix things, grown resentful, given up, and cannot be won back. Men threaten divorce as a tactic to bring women into line, women just leave when they're completely out of (&#s to give.

I feel badly for the women going through this but I also don't think it's anything new or trendy.

+1. For me it’s quitting trying for any emotional intimacy or connection. It’s not going to happen. I’ll get it elsewhere. It sucks so hard that he’s blind to how unhappy I have been for years — despite telling him multiple times in attempts to have conversations about it. Or maybe he sees and just doesn’t care. What else can you do when your partner has shown over and over and over again that they just. don’t. care. ?

Exactly! You just don't care back! That's what you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about emotionally detaching and reducing effort in the marriage to the bare minimum. I’m burnt out from a full-time job and being the default parent. At the end of the day, my kids, clients, and husband take everything I have to give, leaving nothing for me. I’m sick of all his “work” conferences, dinners, and pleasure trips while I’m breaking my back at work and at home. I’m just done. He adds no value to my life anymore. I’m calendaring my own solo bucket-list trips this year. I’m not communicating with him outside of necessary parenting. I’m dropping the rope on anything related to his family. I’m investing my time and income in myself, my kids, and my friendships. He gets nothing from me. How long can this last? Long enough to finish raising kids? I won’t exactly be sad if it leads to divorce, so fear of divorce is not motivating me to keep trying.

Raising kids in a house like this is just dumb OP

You are too lazy to do the right thing for your kids and divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about emotionally detaching and reducing effort in the marriage to the bare minimum. I’m burnt out from a full-time job and being the default parent. At the end of the day, my kids, clients, and husband take everything I have to give, leaving nothing for me. I’m sick of all his “work” conferences, dinners, and pleasure trips while I’m breaking my back at work and at home. I’m just done. He adds no value to my life anymore. I’m calendaring my own solo bucket-list trips this year. I’m not communicating with him outside of necessary parenting. I’m dropping the rope on anything related to his family. I’m investing my time and income in myself, my kids, and my friendships. He gets nothing from me. How long can this last? Long enough to finish raising kids? I won’t exactly be sad if it leads to divorce, so fear of divorce is not motivating me to keep trying.

Raising kids in a house like this is just dumb OP

You are too lazy to do the right thing for your kids and divorce.

Teach your kids to avoid getting into the situation in the first place. Not to get into the mess and then divorce.

[Anonymous]

Please understand that this will have an effect on your kids and can influence how they go about looking for a partner.

[Anonymous]

Are you in therapy? If not, that should be your first step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you in therapy? If not, that should be your first step.

OP here. I am in therapy. We are working through why I can't just leave him. Shame, guilt, and fear, all related to the impact divorce might have on the kids. I just can't put my mental health first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I regret marriage and kids. My quality of life is soooo much lower.

I resent being the primary parent and still expected to work. He mansplains to me about finding a better job as if I could travel like he can.

He’s also unkind to me and says rude things.

Same. If I could do my life over again not a chance I'd marry.

I agree, if you are a woman there are so many other ways to have kids and a family with way more legal and financial protections!

Yeah, the results are in and fatherlessness is FANTASTIC for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I regret marriage and kids. My quality of life is soooo much lower.

I resent being the primary parent and still expected to work. He mansplains to me about finding a better job as if I could travel like he can.

He’s also unkind to me and says rude things.

Same. If I could do my life over again not a chance I'd marry.

I agree, if you are a woman there are so many other ways to have kids and a family with way more legal and financial protections!

Yeah, the results are in and fatherlessness is FANTASTIC for kids.

Most marriages with fathers are fatherlessness.

What are the results on planned fatherless?