Wife and I have dramatically different opinions about how much financial help should be given to adult kids

[Anonymous]

Parents should help kids as much as possible. If able, parents should provide the following:

1. College education
2. Graduate education (assuming a real degree and not a $180k degree in basketweaving from NYU)
3. Down payment for house
4. Family vacations
5. Private school tuition for grandchildren
6. Initiation fee at applicable country club

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents should help kids as much as possible. If able, parents should provide the following:

1. College education
2. Graduate education (assuming a real degree and not a $180k degree in basketweaving from NYU)
3. Down payment for house
4. Family vacations
5. Private school tuition for grandchildren
6. Initiation fee at applicable country club

Why have a purpose. Just gift them money. I get if you are really wealthy and want to do estate planning and what not...I don't get having some arbitrary purpose like paying an initiation fee at a country club.

Also, if you have to "help kids as much as possible"...that doesn't sound like someone that can really afford paying for private school tuition or a country-club initiation fee.

Everyone is missing one of the biggest gifts to your kids...making sure your own aging needs are 100% covered. Do you think your kids will remember all this largesse and pay for you if you end up having to spend millions for your own elder care?