I worry about my son a lot more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread is so charged.

Maybe all humans n earth have it hard because life is hard. Life includes suffering - for everyone. Maybe at different times but no one escapes hardship.

To debate who has it harder seems odd.

Best comment.

Making blanket statements about an entire gender is the height of ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl and I think there is enough worry to go around.

Toxic masculinity is alive and well. The lane boys are supposed to fit into or they will get made fun of and socially rejected is much narrower than girls. Early elementary education is set up for them to feel like failures. There is also a level of hostility toward them (see it on this thread) that they know is there. White boys in particular are simultaneously on the top of the pecking order in every way societally still, but also told they completely suck much of the time in popular culture. No one feels bad for them and no one should, but when you're raising one you notice and they notice too.

Girls, does anyone need to even debate this? Being a woman in this world is rough. I have thought about this a lot and girls so clearly have their shit together more than boys, on average. And then puberty. Testosterone, brute strength of one sex over the other, and women having babies. No turning back and it's never a fair fight and never will be. And they can be awful to each other in a way that will take your breath away.

I want to agree with the bolded so, so much. Even my son who is very bright and likes to learn really struggled with elementary school. The expectation that every 6 year old boy is going want to spend a lot of time sitting at his desk coloring and doing crafts every day is ridiculous. This targets a specific group of kids, mostly girls. It would be like teaching math and history through daily Nerf gun battles and giving poor grades to kids who don’t like Nerf and got sick of it. DS literally silently cried when he got his school supply list going into fifth grade and saw crayons and glue sticks were still on it.

He is in high school now and doing very well.

I don’t know what’s going on, OP, but hang in there. There are ups and downs for everyone.

My son just turned 6 and is in K in private and hates drawing. He is also very bad at it especially when compared to the girls. I have 2 older girls and the story is always the same. Girls love to sit and color and are mostly well behaved. Boys like to build stuff, wrestle and push buttons.

My son is my third and I am much more worried about him than about my girls. The girls are built for school. They are smart, but they are also tough and confident in their abilities.
My son keeps saying how he is not good at cutting or drawing and that his drawings are always bad when they are displayed in the hallway. I wish the teachers would display his Lego creations or his building with boxes. Even his writing is great compared to most of the other kids, but his drawings… yeah they are bad and my son feels really insecure because of them and how much emphasis is put on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl and I think there is enough worry to go around.

Toxic masculinity is alive and well. The lane boys are supposed to fit into or they will get made fun of and socially rejected is much narrower than girls. Early elementary education is set up for them to feel like failures. There is also a level of hostility toward them (see it on this thread) that they know is there. White boys in particular are simultaneously on the top of the pecking order in every way societally still, but also told they completely suck much of the time in popular culture. No one feels bad for them and no one should, but when you're raising one you notice and they notice too.

Girls, does anyone need to even debate this? Being a woman in this world is rough. I have thought about this a lot and girls so clearly have their shit together more than boys, on average. And then puberty. Testosterone, brute strength of one sex over the other, and women having babies. No turning back and it's never a fair fight and never will be. And they can be awful to each other in a way that will take your breath away.

I want to agree with the bolded so, so much. Even my son who is very bright and likes to learn really struggled with elementary school. The expectation that every 6 year old boy is going want to spend a lot of time sitting at his desk coloring and doing crafts every day is ridiculous. This targets a specific group of kids, mostly girls. It would be like teaching math and history through daily Nerf gun battles and giving poor grades to kids who don’t like Nerf and got sick of it. DS literally silently cried when he got his school supply list going into fifth grade and saw crayons and glue sticks were still on it.

He is in high school now and doing very well.

I don’t know what’s going on, OP, but hang in there. There are ups and downs for everyone.

My son just turned 6 and is in K in private and hates drawing. He is also very bad at it especially when compared to the girls. I have 2 older girls and the story is always the same. Girls love to sit and color and are mostly well behaved. Boys like to build stuff, wrestle and push buttons.

My son is my third and I am much more worried about him than about my girls. The girls are built for school. They are smart, but they are also tough and confident in their abilities.
My son keeps saying how he is not good at cutting or drawing and that his drawings are always bad when they are displayed in the hallway. I wish the teachers would display his Lego creations or his building with boxes. Even his writing is great compared to most of the other kids, but his drawings… yeah they are bad and my son feels really insecure because of them and how much emphasis is put on them.

The “bad” drawings are my favorite ones hanging in the hallway. Show him some art by Cy Twombly. Coloring in the lines is fine for some, but those primal scribbles are what so many great artists wish they could get back to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl and I think there is enough worry to go around.

Toxic masculinity is alive and well. The lane boys are supposed to fit into or they will get made fun of and socially rejected is much narrower than girls. Early elementary education is set up for them to feel like failures. There is also a level of hostility toward them (see it on this thread) that they know is there. White boys in particular are simultaneously on the top of the pecking order in every way societally still, but also told they completely suck much of the time in popular culture. No one feels bad for them and no one should, but when you're raising one you notice and they notice too.

Girls, does anyone need to even debate this? Being a woman in this world is rough. I have thought about this a lot and girls so clearly have their shit together more than boys, on average. And then puberty. Testosterone, brute strength of one sex over the other, and women having babies. No turning back and it's never a fair fight and never will be. And they can be awful to each other in a way that will take your breath away.

I want to agree with the bolded so, so much. Even my son who is very bright and likes to learn really struggled with elementary school. The expectation that every 6 year old boy is going want to spend a lot of time sitting at his desk coloring and doing crafts every day is ridiculous. This targets a specific group of kids, mostly girls. It would be like teaching math and history through daily Nerf gun battles and giving poor grades to kids who don’t like Nerf and got sick of it. DS literally silently cried when he got his school supply list going into fifth grade and saw crayons and glue sticks were still on it.

He is in high school now and doing very well.

I don’t know what’s going on, OP, but hang in there. There are ups and downs for everyone.

We had an ES teacher that would wear the "Girls Rule/Boys Drool" shirt and my DS would come home and say "my teacher doesn't like boys"

We had another teacher that told the classroom "no boys are to run for the student government. its time for the girls to be in charge". we didn't learn of this until after the elections.

I could keep going on, but yes, there is a toxic/hostile environment for boys in school which doesnt clear up until HS.

this is insane. MCPS?

The tshirt being worn by the teacher is a bit extreme, but we saw this same theme is more subtle ways throughout elementary and to some degree middle school with my son. Tehre were absolutely lots of girls who wore shirts like that, and my son didn't understand it in k-3. Such a weird zero-sum way people must see the world to send that message in any manner. He also had several elementary teachers who had very clear, undeniable preferences for girls, and this was obvious to the boys, not just to parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl and I think there is enough worry to go around.

Toxic masculinity is alive and well. The lane boys are supposed to fit into or they will get made fun of and socially rejected is much narrower than girls. Early elementary education is set up for them to feel like failures. There is also a level of hostility toward them (see it on this thread) that they know is there. White boys in particular are simultaneously on the top of the pecking order in every way societally still, but also told they completely suck much of the time in popular culture. No one feels bad for them and no one should, but when you're raising one you notice and they notice too.

Girls, does anyone need to even debate this? Being a woman in this world is rough. I have thought about this a lot and girls so clearly have their shit together more than boys, on average. And then puberty. Testosterone, brute strength of one sex over the other, and women having babies. No turning back and it's never a fair fight and never will be. And they can be awful to each other in a way that will take your breath away.

I want to agree with the bolded so, so much. Even my son who is very bright and likes to learn really struggled with elementary school. The expectation that every 6 year old boy is going want to spend a lot of time sitting at his desk coloring and doing crafts every day is ridiculous. This targets a specific group of kids, mostly girls. It would be like teaching math and history through daily Nerf gun battles and giving poor grades to kids who don’t like Nerf and got sick of it. DS literally silently cried when he got his school supply list going into fifth grade and saw crayons and glue sticks were still on it.

He is in high school now and doing very well.

I don’t know what’s going on, OP, but hang in there. There are ups and downs for everyone.

We had an ES teacher that would wear the "Girls Rule/Boys Drool" shirt and my DS would come home and say "my teacher doesn't like boys"

We had another teacher that told the classroom "no boys are to run for the student government. its time for the girls to be in charge". we didn't learn of this until after the elections.

I could keep going on, but yes, there is a toxic/hostile environment for boys in school which doesnt clear up until HS.

this is insane. MCPS?

The tshirt being worn by the teacher is a bit extreme, but we saw this same theme is more subtle ways throughout elementary and to some degree middle school with my son. Tehre were absolutely lots of girls who wore shirts like that, and my son didn't understand it in k-3. Such a weird zero-sum way people must see the world to send that message in any manner. He also had several elementary teachers who had very clear, undeniable preferences for girls, and this was obvious to the boys, not just to parents.

Same PP here again. I also have a DD who goes to the same school system, and will also say there are so many positive, supportive messages to the girls, and cool programs for them, and curriculum aimed at their interests and strengths, and just absolutely none of that for the boys. No surprise, DS, who is just as smart and capable as DD by all objective measures, loathes school, and DD loves it.

[Anonymous]

Pew Research Center paper -
The Gender Gap in Teen Experiences
%20Men%20&%20Masc%20General%20Distribution&org=982&lvl=100&ite=15678&lea=4232065&ctr=0&par=1&trk=a0DQm000004lUMvMAM

[Anonymous]

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2025/03/13/the-gender-gap-in-teen-experiences/?utm_source=AdaptiveMailer&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=25-03-13%20Teens%20Men%20&%20Masc%20General%20Distribution&org=982&lvl=100&ite=15678&lea=4232065&ctr=0&par=1&trk=a0DQm000004lUMvMAM

[Anonymous]

Anyone who thinks life is easier for girls must live in some kind of twilight bubble. Seriously.


If your kid, boy or girl, can’t sit still in school
But h Th en spends hrs on video games … smh.

Put your kid in sports or other active things. Get dad to be involved and be a role model. Clearly dad has a job supporting your family so can show son how it’s done. Have son do more active chores. Or choose a different school with more stuff to your liking.

But messaging?!? Do your own
Messaging. You want handouts from the school? Teach your son to lift himself up by his bootstraps. There’s no more DEI fo boys. It’s all merit based now so bring your boy up to speed. And don’t rely on the system to hand it to you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl and I think there is enough worry to go around.

Toxic masculinity is alive and well. The lane boys are supposed to fit into or they will get made fun of and socially rejected is much narrower than girls. Early elementary education is set up for them to feel like failures. There is also a level of hostility toward them (see it on this thread) that they know is there. White boys in particular are simultaneously on the top of the pecking order in every way societally still, but also told they completely suck much of the time in popular culture. No one feels bad for them and no one should, but when you're raising one you notice and they notice too.

Girls, does anyone need to even debate this? Being a woman in this world is rough. I have thought about this a lot and girls so clearly have their shit together more than boys, on average. And then puberty. Testosterone, brute strength of one sex over the other, and women having babies. No turning back and it's never a fair fight and never will be. And they can be awful to each other in a way that will take your breath away.

I want to agree with the bolded so, so much. Even my son who is very bright and likes to learn really struggled with elementary school. The expectation that every 6 year old boy is going want to spend a lot of time sitting at his desk coloring and doing crafts every day is ridiculous. This targets a specific group of kids, mostly girls. It would be like teaching math and history through daily Nerf gun battles and giving poor grades to kids who don’t like Nerf and got sick of it. DS literally silently cried when he got his school supply list going into fifth grade and saw crayons and glue sticks were still on it.

He is in high school now and doing very well.

I don’t know what’s going on, OP, but hang in there. There are ups and downs for everyone.

My son just turned 6 and is in K in private and hates drawing. He is also very bad at it especially when compared to the girls. I have 2 older girls and the story is always the same. Girls love to sit and color and are mostly well behaved. Boys like to build stuff, wrestle and push buttons.

My son is my third and I am much more worried about him than about my girls. The girls are built for school. They are smart, but they are also tough and confident in their abilities.
My son keeps saying how he is not good at cutting or drawing and that his drawings are always bad when they are displayed in the hallway. I wish the teachers would display his Lego creations or his building with boxes. Even his writing is great compared to most of the other kids, but his drawings… yeah they are bad and my son feels really insecure because of them and how much emphasis is put on them.

The “bad” drawings are my favorite ones hanging in the hallway. Show him some art by Cy Twombly. Coloring in the lines is fine for some, but those primal scribbles are what so many great artists wish they could get back to.

Amen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most societies favor boys, which lends to coddling of boys and - in the extreme- harm to girls.

This carries into parenting where boys are often coddled.

This! Even the moms who “make their kids do chores and work hard” don’t recognize all the coddling and how much it hampers their sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worry a lot less about my daughter. I am not sure why.

Is it just because son is the first kid and bears the burden of all my hopes and expectations?

Part of me thinks it might be because I think it’s just harder for boys in the world in the long term. Girls mature faster and outperform boys so much in school, and also always have the option of an easier career or staying at home with the kids. To do well in a HCOL area like we do, boys eventually have to have a lucrative, high paying job and with that, there’s so much more stress on the academic and college front when they are younger.

And girls are just easier when younger based on what I hear. Fewer learning issues, therapies needed. Went past a speech therapy office recently and the 4 children in the waiting room were all boys.


Anyone relate?

The world is made for white males.

Yes even in this very moment, the world is very much made for white males and just because now they are being called out on their incompetence and white privilege, they are throwing a hissy fit and seems like their parents are throwing one too. Please take a seat and let others also take charge.

Just out of curiosity, who or what exactly do you think made the world for white males?

Are you seriously asking me this question? The white males made this world for white males by perpetuating colonialism, oppression, racism and misogynistic behavior. No that doesn’t mean every white male is responsible and must suffer consequences but let’s at least acknowledge the basic fact that this world even today is a white man’s world and to say otherwise is downright foolish and ignorant.

So your official position is that white males “made the world” as it exists today, which is apparently good enough that you are desperate to not only be a part of but to be in charge of, therefore these same white males must “take a seat and let others take charge”…

Have you ever considered making your own sh!t rather than just demanding to take over and control what others (your contention) have made?

I am so sorry you have such poor comprehension skills. Are you living under a rock? The world as it exists today is not “good”. Women in this country are fighting to get back ownership of their bodies, climate change is routinely ignored, basic rights such as education and healthcare are being ignored in this country because they need to spend all our tax dollars on the military and need to keep sending weapons of war to countries all over the world to keep the war industry flourishing. Yeah that is all done by white men so they need to take a seat and let others take charge because they have failed miserably.

Well now you’re just being ridiculous. The world as it exists today has many problems and is far from perfect, but (at least for the Western world) this is a great time to be alive.

But if women and minorities (ie everyone who is not a white man) want to take over the power structure here you do realize they could easily accomplish that as white men are not a majority in this country? Stop waiting for white men to “take a seat” and just band together and TAKE control if that’s what you really want.

I do realize that endless complaining is much easier than accountability and risk-taking, but at some point you need to put up or shut up.

You are either extremely naive or being facetioues. It’s probably a great time for you to be alive because you are a white male. Ask the women who are trying to cross state lines to get an abortion because the state insists on controlling their bodies. And it’s not as if women and minorities can create an insurrection and take over lol. That’s what white men do remember? They might be in the minority but they are very much in control and they quash down anyone who questions their authority. Seriously take a seat and shut up.

I’m a woman, dummy. You don’t need to create an insurrection, just need to run for office and vote for candidates as a united front.[b]

Like I said, your type just likes to complain. You have no solutions and you desire no responsibility.

Yeah, because, you can see at the federal levels, women are so well represented and respected!

[Anonymous]

And Harris losing to a convicted felon, with multiple accusations and convictions of sexual harm who had authoritarian tendencies has nothing to do with her race or being a woman!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And Harris losing to a convicted felon, with multiple accusations and convictions of sexual harm who had authoritarian tendencies has nothing to do with her race or being a woman!

I sometimes wonder if this above is a person parroting words as a tactic. I wonder the same with the repeated, “shut up maga.” It’s the thing with anonymity! It’s like reenforcing- and shoring up -the discord!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What alternative world are you living in where life is easier for girls? I've never heard of boys being sexually harrassed by grown men at age 9, 10, 11 just for existing in public? In what scenario do men not have full autonomy over how they care for their bodies? How many women have been president in the US? How many cents are women earning to the dollar these days?

Yo, what decade did you come from? It’s not even remotely controversial to acknowledge in the year 20204 the.boys.are.not.alright. I hope you don’t have kids, your ideology is glaringly inaccurate and affecting your ability to think critically about issues that affect not only our kids but our entire society. Go back to bed.

Girls and women have never been alright. There’s something wrong with you if you don't know or acknowledge that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl and I think there is enough worry to go around.

Toxic masculinity is alive and well. The lane boys are supposed to fit into or they will get made fun of and socially rejected is much narrower than girls. Early elementary education is set up for them to feel like failures. There is also a level of hostility toward them (see it on this thread) that they know is there. White boys in particular are simultaneously on the top of the pecking order in every way societally still, but also told they completely suck much of the time in popular culture. No one feels bad for them and no one should, but when you're raising one you notice and they notice too.

Girls, does anyone need to even debate this? Being a woman in this world is rough. I have thought about this a lot and girls so clearly have their shit together more than boys, on average. And then puberty. Testosterone, brute strength of one sex over the other, and women having babies. No turning back and it's never a fair fight and never will be. And they can be awful to each other in a way that will take your breath away.

I want to agree with the bolded so, so much. Even my son who is very bright and likes to learn really struggled with elementary school. The expectation that every 6 year old boy is going want to spend a lot of time sitting at his desk coloring and doing crafts every day is ridiculous. This targets a specific group of kids, mostly girls. It would be like teaching math and history through daily Nerf gun battles and giving poor grades to kids who don’t like Nerf and got sick of it. DS literally silently cried when he got his school supply list going into fifth grade and saw crayons and glue sticks were still on it.

He is in high school now and doing very well.

I don’t know what’s going on, OP, but hang in there. There are ups and downs for everyone.

My son just turned 6 and is in K in private and hates drawing. He is also very bad at it especially when compared to the girls. I have 2 older girls and the story is always the same. Girls love to sit and color and are mostly well behaved. Boys like to build stuff, wrestle and push buttons.

My son is my third and I am much more worried about him than about my girls. The girls are built for school. They are smart, but they are also tough and confident in their abilities.
My son keeps saying how he is not good at cutting or drawing and that his drawings are always bad when they are displayed in the hallway. I wish the teachers would display his Lego creations or his building with boxes. Even his writing is great compared to most of the other kids, but his drawings… yeah they are bad and my son feels really insecure because of them and how much emphasis is put on them.

Agree