Should I “let” my husband buy this car?
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Anonymous
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Only unattractive moms on this board think that luxury sport cars don’t attract women.
Your husbands aren’t trying to attract unattractive moms who think that the minivan is the most beautiful car out there. They aren’t looking for a new wife. They are looking to attract hot women to play. These hot and sexy women love sport cars. |
Anonymous
Can confirm. I started with a boxster and now have a 911. It is an expensive hobby. |
Anonymous
| It is such a fun car. There is no better feeling than that first spring day and putting the top down on a boxster. If it brings him joy and you can afford it, why not. |
Anonymous
She "has a say in this" because in most families, both people are involved in large purchases. We don't just go buy a $100K+ vehicle because "we want it". We discuss first. However, yes this wouldn't be a hill I'd pick to die on. Let him get it, but find other ways to save a bit, because it's expensive and insurance on it will be high. So make sure it all fits into your budget |
Anonymous
Yeah, they should be equals. I've been SAHP for 20+ years. I manage the finances. My spouse would never think of making a $100K+ purchase without us mutually agreeing beforehand. Then again, they wouldn't make more than a $1-2K purchase without us discussing. And we are worth much more than OP and spouse makes double what he makes. It's just how we manage family finances |
Anonymous
I'm SAHP. My spouse makes double that. I manage finances. We are equals---I get just as much "say in the matter" as my spouse does for major purchases. Just because my job doesn't bring in a paycheck doesn't mean I'm not just as valued in our family as the one who does. In a healthy relationship, you don't make major purchases without everyone agreeing |
Anonymous
THIS^^ Just point out the facts and reality and let him come up with a solution. But I"m with you, he can get the car but you get to park your One car inside. He gets to figure out which of his goes inside as well |
Anonymous
In a healthy adult relationship, nobody pulls the "I make more than you so I get to do this" card. |
Anonymous
It’s not a discussion if you believe the higher earner can just say “I want to do it I earn enough I’m buying it”. That’s a dictatorship and unhealthy |
Anonymous
| And this is why I waited a long time to get married. I enjoyed all my financial mistakes: my fast cars, my penthouse condos, it was great. Also, I married a wonderful guy, who *I hope* would never post or think something this obnoxious. When we went to the car show a couple of months ago and saw this baby-blue Austin Martin convertible, DH asked: if it would make you happy, just buy one. I fee sorry for your DH, OP. |
Anonymous
Amen. What a bunch of scolds. If you are fortunate enough to have a husband who makes $500,000 a year, don't tell him what kind of car he can buy, particularly a $100,000 Porsche, which certainly isn't going to break you. I'm sure there are plenty of younger women out there who won't scold him about his car choices. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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You sound like a cheapskate. it sounds like you are all about your kids and you expect your husband to be the same way that was standing the fact that his hard work and frugal ways have allowed you to put yourself close to the top one percent in terms of net worth.
Without judging too much, this relationship has all the signs of him getting bored with his frumpy cheapskate wife who cares more about the kids than him and tries to micro-control how he spends the family money despite him making 10 times which she makes. Don't be surprised when he finally comes to the conclusion that he has 20 or 30 years left and leaves your for a 35 year old who appreciates him and takes care of herself. |
Anonymous
| I’m as frugal as they come but with this income and savings, he should definitely be able to get this car. And, OP shouldn’t plan on funding her kids adult lives. That creates adults who are entitled and unable to manage their own loved. |
Anonymous
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OP, I get it.. I also want to give as much as I can to the kids. But you have to realize that, you and your DH are already providing expensive activities, college tuition, good education to the kids.
I am from India, and in Indian culture (though it is fast changing now), MC families did everything to provide for kids, took loans, sacrificed their time, money etc. Unfortunately, that led to an expectation in the parents old age that the kids would spend time with them and often provide them. It really led to a more resentful life for everyone. Kids will go to college and likely not visit you for more than once or twice a year. Your DH will be there for you in sickness and in happiness. Prioritize your DH if your relationship is otherwise healthy as long as kids basic needs are met. If you have excess, for sure but the kids a house or a downpayment It would be helpful to keep a balance where parents get to do things (within reason) and also provide for their kids (but not at the expense of their own happiness). Buying the 100K car definitely seems reasonable given your HHI and assets. You and your DH have just one life. You owe it to yourself to be happy. |