What can American women learn from foreign women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My parents are from a Middle Eastern culture and I think there is so much pressure on women in that culture to conform to the following standard:

- educated with a high paying career
- keep up their looks, don’t get fat, dress pretty and wear makeup and have long glossy black hair
- maintain an attractive, clean home and know how to cook, or you will look bad
- religious (but you still have to look sexy) and raising children to behave appropriately and follow cultural expectations

The men have the following expectations:
- have a job

I think American men may find this nightmare sort of awesome.

Uh, no. In patriarchal cultures, men have to be rich to have social value. (Actually, this is true in all cultures to varying degrees.)

She meant having a job is the only expectation for men while women have to be perfect in almost every way.

So an American man with a decent job who is even remotely helpful in other ways is a step up from their own men. This is true about a lot of foreign cultures as you can see from this thread.

So while American men could be better, they are better than most. So it makes sense for them to look abroad for women who will compare them to their local men.

Actually, the Middle East is still one of the few remaining places on Earth where women can choose to remain homemakers without losing any social standing. I am married to an Arab and no, women are not all expected to have a high-paying career. In fact, it is assumed that once you marry, your family becomes your priority. Financial support is the duty of the husband, not the wife.

Also, if you are from a religious family, you are not expected to dress sexy at all. In fact, the window of acceptable dressing for you is quite narrow.

So I think you're describing a very small subset of the Middle East culture.

To add to this, I found the Middle East to be one of the few places where it is assumed that a woman who works will have household help. Our Arab relatives would find it quite wild that a woman can be expected to work AND cook and clean. Quite simply, if the wife works and brings in income, she will outsource most of the household work. Someone will come to cook, clean and tend to the children.

You realize that's because of robust immigration, which allows poor women from other countries - the Philippines, Bangladesh, China - to come and be your servant! I used to live on a Pacific island where even the poorest families had house cleaners and cooks - and it's because, again, of essentially open borders that allowed for desperate to come and take those jobs. There was tons of abuse - and much cleaner houses. We could have that here, too, if we wanted.

Thats just a story. Quit stereotyping.
There are white American women being abused daily by their white husbands

No, women working in Gulf countries routinely endure verbal, physical, and sexual abuse from their employers. Some are murdered. It’s no secret and it’s as well documented as it can be considering it isn’t prosecuted by these countries.

[Anonymous]

USA has many pedos and most are from white American priests

[Anonymous]

It's a fact too

[Anonymous]

The church is protects their pedo priests and pays money to the victims

Religion sucksss

[Anonymous]

If you look closely at Richard Gere's "foreign born" wife, Alejandra Silva, who is more than 30 years younger than he is, she's not very beautiful. She's attractive. She's a publicist. This has to be more of an arrangement than anything else.

What can an American woman learn from this woman? Spend more time taking photos and publicity shots with your husband who is old enough to be your father.

https://news.amomama.com/289523-richard-gere-promised-3rd-wife-at-least.html

[Anonymous]

Question for OP - what is wrong with you? Men who look for "foreign women" are basically sex traffickers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for OP - what is wrong with you? Men who look for "foreign women" are basically sex traffickers.

ok, that's all folks. Time to shut this thread down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mormons are cultists. Bunch of white people and they have communities far away where they have sex with minors and keep breeding and breeding. That's what these religions wants, babies, babies. Women are used

Wow. I was born and raised in the Mormon church and I never heard of these communities! Do tell me more! (Unless you're confusing the mainline Mormon church with fundamentalist offshoots, which you probably are)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents are from a Middle Eastern culture and I think there is so much pressure on women in that culture to conform to the following standard:

- educated with a high paying career
- keep up their looks, don’t get fat, dress pretty and wear makeup and have long glossy black hair
- maintain an attractive, clean home and know how to cook, or you will look bad
- religious (but you still have to look sexy) and raising children to behave appropriately and follow cultural expectations

The men have the following expectations:
- have a job

I think American men may find this nightmare sort of awesome.

Uh, no. In patriarchal cultures, men have to be rich to have social value. (Actually, this is true in all cultures to varying degrees.)

She meant having a job is the only expectation for men while women have to be perfect in almost every way.

So an American man with a decent job who is even remotely helpful in other ways is a step up from their own men. This is true about a lot of foreign cultures as you can see from this thread.

So while American men could be better, they are better than most. So it makes sense for them to look abroad for women who will compare them to their local men.

Actually, the Middle East is still one of the few remaining places on Earth where women can choose to remain homemakers without losing any social standing. I am married to an Arab and no, women are not all expected to have a high-paying career. In fact, it is assumed that once you marry, your family becomes your priority. Financial support is the duty of the husband, not the wife.

Also, if you are from a religious family, you are not expected to dress sexy at all. In fact, the window of acceptable dressing for you is quite narrow.

So I think you're describing a very small subset of the Middle East culture.

To add to this, I found the Middle East to be one of the few places where it is assumed that a woman who works will have household help. Our Arab relatives would find it quite wild that a woman can be expected to work AND cook and clean. Quite simply, if the wife works and brings in income, she will outsource most of the household work. Someone will come to cook, clean and tend to the children.

You realize that's because of robust immigration, which allows poor women from other countries - the Philippines, Bangladesh, China - to come and be your servant! I used to live on a Pacific island where even the poorest families had house cleaners and cooks - and it's because, again, of essentially open borders that allowed for desperate to come and take those jobs. There was tons of abuse - and much cleaner houses. We could have that here, too, if we wanted.

+1.

These wives transfer the abuse they receive from their lazy husbands to slave laborers.

I don't think we should be emulating any countries that have slave laborers or a lot of low paid people working in homes. IF there is a country without practically slave labor with feminine women who are also respected by their husbands I'm all ears to those lessons.

Isn't the mormon community in SLC like this?

Ha this is kind of true. I am the loud and opinionated PP and I was raised Mormon, and not all Mormon men want a feminine women who is content to SAH and support his career. But many do, and the majority that I know still respect their wives. It might be because men who were raised Mormon have been getting lessons almost their entire lives on how to be a good spouse. Be responsible, be a good earner, take your wife on dates, don't say anything unkind to your spouse, listen to her (even though the guy's opinion eventually rules, so whatever), etc. There are lots of bad Mormon men but truly good Mormon men actually are good husbands while still taking part in a patriarchal oppressive system.

So I guess the lesson is men should take several courses in how to be good husbands?

Feminine does not mean subservient SAH. French and Italian women are direct and feisty and also feminine and sensual. I think a lot of American women do what they think they are supposed to do, are more rigid.

I was referring specifically to Mormon women in Utah. This has nothing to do with Italian and French women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think American women, the wealthier and the more educated they are, impose too many rules and regulations on themselves. The rules are stiffening, and those who don’t follow those ever-multiplying rules are getting judged by fellow women.

You mean the hillbilly women who votes for trump? There's stats that say most educated American women are Democrats and the less educated American women are Republicans

Look it up

And this is another reason to date foreign women. They aren't into politics and therefore can think more critically. It's painful listening to a never ending lists if grievances. We want someone fun who puts out.

there it is, folks. That's all men want from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't there a forum besides the "relationship discussion" forum of a D.C. Urbans moms and dads online community where you can hold your discussions about this?

If you don't want American women, and you want foreign born women, then by all means, leave American women alone.

No American woman is posting on here asking such a question.

The OP is literally an American woman asking the question.

Well, she is "asking" the "question."

She started it with an agenda, and the answers she was going to get to the "question" are really relevant to what she is doing.

[Anonymous]

^are not really relevant

[Anonymous]

One thing I think many of the men asking this question fail to understand is that “femininity” is a construct and it’s performative. It’s technically incorrect to say that “women from this culture ARE more feminine than women from this culture.”

Rather it’s that women from country A have been taught and socialized into doing certain things - like waiting on men, doing all the manual labor in the house without complaining, speaking in a high soft voice, wearing heels and either modest clothes or revealing clothes, eating Last and eating less.” This isn’t feminine energy but rather being raised within an oppressive culture.

Women in the us have what you term “masculine energy “ because many of us either were not socialized into rigid gender norms or we rejected them because we have the agency and power to do them. And no amount of demanding that we dress like Mrs. Cleaver can bring us into line or conformity with your desires. This doesn’t make us losers but it kind of makes you one for failing to realize this.

And if you think taking away our rights is going to change this you’re wrong. You are backwards sad people with your commitment to regressive norms and practices.

[Anonymous]

DP. And if we make ourselves into the person we want to be, and you don't like that person?

"Losing" the you we never had anyway is no loss. The more you insult us, the more clear that becomes.

[Anonymous]

Responses in this thread are hilarious and Exhibit A of the Relentless FukTON of baggage that bitter American women of a certain class and politics carry around with them at all times.

“Hey, what is it that some guys like about women from other countries/cultures?”

“GAAaaaHh!! Patriarchy! Sex trafficker!! American men beat their wives and are ugly!!”

So wretchedly, self evidently unhappy with virtually every aspect of life.

That’s why “some men” like foreign women. They’re fun. They bang. They’re not full of venom and piss and vinegar just because men are men and women are women.