What can American women learn from foreign women?

[Anonymous]

Since there are quite a few men, on here and in the wild, who seem to look abroad for romantic relationships and consider foreign or foreign-born women higher value. Since I can’t change my nation of birth, what lessons can I learn from foreign women (any nationality) that make them more appealing?

To address the stereotypes: I’m not fat or even close to it, I’m not bossy, I don’t *think* I act entitled although I can’t really judge that myself, I don’t rant about the “patriarchy,” I don’t have tattoos or blue hair, and I don’t think gender norms are inherently bad.

[Anonymous]

Go for walks

[Anonymous]

Be willing to marry unattractive but nice guys who can hold down a job and be a good family man, as long as you cook and clean without complaint and don’t ever nag.

[Anonymous]

Be nice, stay skinny, give your man lots of sex.

[Anonymous]

Foreign languages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since there are quite a few men, on here and in the wild, who seem to look abroad for romantic relationships and consider foreign or foreign-born women higher value. Since I can’t change my nation of birth, what lessons can I learn from foreign women (any nationality) that make them more appealing?

To address the stereotypes: I’m not fat or even close to it, I’m not bossy, I don’t *think* I act entitled although I can’t really judge that myself, I don’t rant about the “patriarchy,” I don’t have tattoos or blue hair, and I don’t think gender norms are inherently bad.

I don't read this the same way. Stereotypically speaking, I think men look abroad for women b/c they're hoping to avoid some feature of dating in the US that hasn't been successful for them. Like they think a foreign woman would have lower standards than a woman from the US. Maybe they're less attractive and think someone from another country might be willing to overlook that detail for the opportunity to be with a man from the US. Maybe they really value a homemaker and someone who will defer to their guidance so they're looking for someone from a patriarchal society. It's not nice, but unless the man in question travels internationally for work or otherwise spends time abroad, my first thought is "mail order bride".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since there are quite a few men, on here and in the wild, who seem to look abroad for romantic relationships and consider foreign or foreign-born women higher value. Since I can’t change my nation of birth, what lessons can I learn from foreign women (any nationality) that make them more appealing?

To address the stereotypes: I’m not fat or even close to it, I’m not bossy, I don’t *think* I act entitled although I can’t really judge that myself, I don’t rant about the “patriarchy,” I don’t have tattoos or blue hair, and I don’t think gender norms are inherently bad.

I don't read this the same way. Stereotypically speaking, I think men look abroad for women b/c they're hoping to avoid some feature of dating in the US that hasn't been successful for them. Like they think a foreign woman would have lower standards than a woman from the US. Maybe they're less attractive and think someone from another country might be willing to overlook that detail for the opportunity to be with a man from the US. Maybe they really value a homemaker and someone who will defer to their guidance so they're looking for someone from a patriarchal society. It's not nice, but unless the man in question travels internationally for work or otherwise spends time abroad, my first thought is "mail order bride".

Absolutely. And sometimes they have absurd expectations, like that guy who was shocked that he would be expected to be the sole financial provider if his wife did all the childcare, housework, and cooking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since there are quite a few men, on here and in the wild, who seem to look abroad for romantic relationships and consider foreign or foreign-born women higher value. Since I can’t change my nation of birth, what lessons can I learn from foreign women (any nationality) that make them more appealing?

To address the stereotypes: I’m not fat or even close to it, I’m not bossy, I don’t *think* I act entitled although I can’t really judge that myself, I don’t rant about the “patriarchy,” I don’t have tattoos or blue hair, and I don’t think gender norms are inherently bad.

I don't read this the same way. Stereotypically speaking, I think men look abroad for women b/c they're hoping to avoid some feature of dating in the US that hasn't been successful for them. Like they think a foreign woman would have lower standards than a woman from the US. Maybe they're less attractive and think someone from another country might be willing to overlook that detail for the opportunity to be with a man from the US. Maybe they really value a homemaker and someone who will defer to their guidance so they're looking for someone from a patriarchal society. It's not nice, but unless the man in question travels internationally for work or otherwise spends time abroad, my first thought is "mail order bride".

This is more a stereotype with Eastern European women. What about, say, French women, or Swedish or Brazilian women? Do they have an aesthetic, or social graces, or mindsets that make them more attractive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since there are quite a few men, on here and in the wild, who seem to look abroad for romantic relationships and consider foreign or foreign-born women higher value. Since I can’t change my nation of birth, what lessons can I learn from foreign women (any nationality) that make them more appealing?

To address the stereotypes: I’m not fat or even close to it, I’m not bossy, I don’t *think* I act entitled although I can’t really judge that myself, I don’t rant about the “patriarchy,” I don’t have tattoos or blue hair, and I don’t think gender norms are inherently bad.

I don't read this the same way. Stereotypically speaking, I think men look abroad for women b/c they're hoping to avoid some feature of dating in the US that hasn't been successful for them. Like they think a foreign woman would have lower standards than a woman from the US. Maybe they're less attractive and think someone from another country might be willing to overlook that detail for the opportunity to be with a man from the US. Maybe they really value a homemaker and someone who will defer to their guidance so they're looking for someone from a patriarchal society. It's not nice, but unless the man in question travels internationally for work or otherwise spends time abroad, my first thought is "mail order bride".

This is more a stereotype with Eastern European women. What about, say, French women, or Swedish or Brazilian women? Do they have an aesthetic, or social graces, or mindsets that make them more attractive?

I don't know if this is actually true, but I think French & Swedish women might embrace non-patriarchal outlooks without always seeming like they are spoiling for a fight about gender relations. Like, please be an equal partner and don't feel like you have to ask me for permission about things, but we don't need to talk the subject of gender injustices to death. If you look hard enough, eventually everything will look like the patriarchy.

Like I said, I don't actually know that foreign women behave any differently. But my anecdotal sense is that American women are unhappy because they are looking for injustice everywhere. French and Swedish women aren't any less independent, but I don't feel like they create extra unhappiness for themselves (and those around them) by fixating on the subject.

[Anonymous]

Many of these marriages don't last.

Foreign women tend to get their papers and they are out.

A man looking for a foreign woman tends to be a man who wants a woman more attractive than he can get here. Because these women want to come here, they settle for him.

In some cases, people like to find a very particular look that is not as common here( so higher competition for those women in the US).

Do you have the look or are you willing to settle for a man because he can being you over from some other country?

[Anonymous]

From German and Scandinavian women: Don’t get married.

[Anonymous]

Don’t expect you man to be a woman. Don’t expect him to see, understand or emotionally support you.

[Anonymous]

My parents are from a Middle Eastern culture and I think there is so much pressure on women in that culture to conform to the following standard:

- educated with a high paying career
- keep up their looks, don’t get fat, dress pretty and wear makeup and have long glossy black hair
- maintain an attractive, clean home and know how to cook, or you will look bad
- religious (but you still have to look sexy) and raising children to behave appropriately and follow cultural expectations

The men have the following expectations:
- have a job

I think American men may find this nightmare sort of awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t expect you man to be a woman. Don’t expect him to see, understand or emotionally support you.

So what do foreign women see a man is good for? If they aren't to emotionally support you or understand you in any way?

[Anonymous]

OP, your premise is wrong.

A lot of men go look for foreign women because they can't find desperate enough high value women in the US to date. A lot of foreign women are desperate to come to the US, even if they live in Western Europe.

-signed an Asian American female.