Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats

[Anonymous]

What your parents are doing is beyond the pale, but it's rude to invite somebody else on a trip and enjoy first class while they're in coach, especially if they are older. I imagine it wasn't some formal invite but rather "hey, you guys could come too if you wanted," but still.

If it were me I would apologize to my parents and explain that you had different ideas about what joining you would look like. I would say that I'd give up my seat for one of them but I would not make my kids or husband do the same. If they throw a tantrum you can say that you look forward to seeing them on the next trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't the grandparents booked their own first class tickets? Was first class sold out or did they just not want to spend the money?

I would be so pissed. My FIL tries stuff like this all the time. We stopped vacationing with him many years ago because he was always doing these shakedowns.

OP here. My dad sounds just like your FIL. He is super controlling, demands respect, and throws a temper tantrum anytime he doesn’t get what he wants. He has alienated dozens of family members over the years. He is a textbook narcissist.

OP, you obviously don’t like your parents. Why did you even invite them to accompany your family on this trip?

You should have offered the nicer seats to your parents at the beginning. I think you’re embarrassed that you didn’t do the right thing to start with and now you’re digging in your heels.

Who is paying for the cruise? Are your parents paying their own way or are you all paying for that?

My guess is that OP invited her parents out of obligation, since they always made her feel like she had to accommodate others and wasn't allowed to set boundaries, stuff like that. A lot of us have been strong-armed into being nice so we don't know how to say no, and then don't know how to handle the conflict that inevitably arises.

[Anonymous]

I cannot even imagine that your parents think they have standing to demand your kids' seats. If they have body aches and "need" to fly first, they should have paid for it. That's not to say your kids should not offer to switch, but on principle I would be pissed that they are demanding it.

[Anonymous]

I would be extremely annoyed but also probably would not have invited them if they could not pay for seats with us.

[Anonymous]

Tell them not to come. It is going to be a miserable vacation for you if they are already acting this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this is a tough one. I'm usually one who is a "give my parents what the want" camp, but the emotional blackmail of not going if they don't have first class is BS. Also, would they have paid for first if you weren't in it? They just want your miles (which, people know miles aren't free right? They are earned with money).

I'd say, leave your kids to make the choice, but I would say let your kids have them.

I agree completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All these people talking about the elderly grandparents. I am 37 and my grandparents are in their 80’s. These people have teen grandkids. They could be 50.

People in your family must have been very young when they had their kids. When my kids were in their early 20s, their grandparents were in their 90s.

I can’t even imagine being in my 50s and having teenage grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

I probably would not want to go on a trip with people who are rude to me.

OP, are you all paying separately for the cruise part of the trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these people talking about the elderly grandparents. I am 37 and my grandparents are in their 80’s. These people have teen grandkids. They could be 50.

People in your family must have been very young when they had their kids. When my kids were in their early 20s, their grandparents were in their 90s.

I can’t even imagine being in my 50s and having teenage grandchildren.

And I can’t even imagine having parents in their 90s when my kids are in their early 20s, my God!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these people talking about the elderly grandparents. I am 37 and my grandparents are in their 80’s. These people have teen grandkids. They could be 50.

People in your family must have been very young when they had their kids. When my kids were in their early 20s, their grandparents were in their 90s.

I can’t even imagine being in my 50s and having teenage grandchildren.

Bobo will have teenage grandkids at the age of 50. More of a thing amongst the uneducated, racist, assault-rifles-for-all crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What your parents are doing is beyond the pale, but it's rude to invite somebody else on a trip and enjoy first class while they're in coach, especially if they are older. I imagine it wasn't some formal invite but rather "hey, you guys could come too if you wanted," but still.

If it were me I would apologize to my parents and explain that you had different ideas about what joining you would look like. I would say that I'd give up my seat for one of them but I would not make my kids or husband do the same. If they throw a tantrum you can say that you look forward to seeing them on the next trip.

I'm kinda here. If this had been our family, I would've booked the kids in premium economy and put the parents in first class, even my ILs (who can be quite demanding along the lines described here). It's respectful and you are also teaching your children how to work with their elders. One day this could be you and you want your kids to step up, not sit - or lie - down.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a TROLL. You can't easily cancel a trip like this without losing money.

[Anonymous]

My Dh and I are also United global services so can usually get upgrades. We are in the same boat in that our boys don’t care and our girls are way too used to business. That said, United has gotten pretty strict about switching seats. They don’t allow you to switch cabins after boarding. I also think you may have an issue at the gate given they check your passport and boarding pass. I don’t think at this point you can just call and switch names.
I would have given an upgrade to my parents if available but getting 6 in business for summer to Europe is tough. People don’t understand that there are limited upgrades available per flight. They also take a ton of miles. I just upgraded us on a flight this summer and it was 100,000 miles/seat one way and 80,000 the other. That’s a crazy amount of needed travel to earn that many points.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these people talking about the elderly grandparents. I am 37 and my grandparents are in their 80’s. These people have teen grandkids. They could be 50.

People in your family must have been very young when they had their kids. When my kids were in their early 20s, their grandparents were in their 90s.

I can’t even imagine being in my 50s and having teenage grandchildren.

And I can’t even imagine having parents in their 90s when my kids are in their early 20s, my God!!

Well, if my mom were in her late 30s when she had me, and I was in my late 30s when I had my kids, it’s not that crazy for the grandparents to be in their 80s and 90s by the time the grandkids are in their 20s.

Lots of people wait till after 35 to have their kids. It’s really not that unusual. My youngest is 22 and one of his grandparents is 97.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids would have offered the seats without being asked.

But I also think it is rude to book kids in business class in the first place.

Why in the world is it rude to book kids in business? We’re global services so almost always upgrade. I’ve never seen badly behaved kids in business but I could go on and on with stories about drunken adults, one vomited on me, one was caught going through my bag when I was in the bathroom, etc. Another time someone had a cat that pooped everywhere in its bag and then got out, dragging cat poop all over the cabin.