Son and DIL asking for new vacation next year

[Anonymous]

The OP starts by saying "Apparently my son and his wife do not wish to do the beach trip next year" to end the post with "why does my DIL want to change". LOL of course it's the DIL.

OP you had your many years of planning each vacation how you wanted. Now your son and DIL want the same. I'm wondering if you would give up all those years of vacations to do what your MIL/mother wanted you to do?

How can you not see that. Either you decide to join them and simply enjoy it or you continue doing your own thing and invite whoever is interested in coming.

Any other conversation is meaningless.

[Anonymous]

I would just say no very politely, citing other families wanting to join you at the usual spot.
I think maybe they hope you’d say no and they can go alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be happy DIL wants to vacation with you and be flexible. Going to the same place every year sucks.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"asking"
A very telling word
Shows where the power is ... or how Op feels re: who has the power.

Right? I'm sure son & DIL were being upfront with TELLING their change of vacation venue, and kindly ASKING OP and her husband to join them.

OP thinks the younger generation is ASKING for permission to go to the mountains. They're not.

This.

Honestly the DIL sounds like an angel to still invite the OP along. Being treated like a child would drive me crazy.

[Anonymous]

So basically op, it’s your world and everyone is just living in it? They probably have limited vacation time as well and want to mix it up once in a while. There is nothing offensive about this and from the sounds of it, if you were my MIL I would have stopped going a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: It's great that they are inviting you; they obviously enjoy your company. If you can only take one week in summer and want to be with your family, do it their way next year. I imagine those weeks with the grandchildren are precious and they won't be young for long. We could do both, but it sounds like summer is tough for you because of your DH's business. If it's more important to go to the beach, do that. (Or go there in the shoulder season.)

Does the OP work and also have only one week of vacation in the summer? If she is unconstrained, why can’t she join her son’s family in the mountains, and she and her husband also continue their tradition?

[Anonymous]

You simply say you’re not ready to give up your beach weeks just yet but understand they want to have other choices. (even though it seems that you don’t really understand) If you - with or without - your husband can/want to attend their vacation to be with the grandkids, do so. Or arrange to be with the grandkids at a time the pool company is not as busy.

Please try to understand that this isn’t personal. Other people have other interests and priorities. They are young and exploratory and you are older and set in your ways. Neither is right or wrong, just different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: It's great that they are inviting you; they obviously enjoy your company. If you can only take one week in summer and want to be with your family, do it their way next year. I imagine those weeks with the grandchildren are precious and they won't be young for long. We could do both, but it sounds like summer is tough for you because of your DH's business. If it's more important to go to the beach, do that. (Or go there in the shoulder season.)

Does the OP work and also have only one week of vacation in the summer? If she is unconstrained, why can’t she join her son’s family in the mountains, and she and her husband also continue their tradition?

I think she can do that. The whole issue was the DIL wanting to change the tradition. I think OP wants everyone there for the beach holiday so it's not that she can't go to the mountains it's that she wants everyone at the beach at the same time.

Op is inflexible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have gone to the beach (Fenwick) for decades, and of course brought our kids when they were young. After my son and my daughter grew up and each got married, we've invited their families to join us each year. (We also include my husband's sister and her son, and my husband's mother while she was alive.) We sometimes invite friends, so we usually rent from one of three nice properties. We have good relationships with the owners of each property, and we enjoy the trip every year.

Apparently my son and his wife do not wish to do the beach trip next year--they already agreed to this year when DH and I reached out in January. They are sending us links for mountain resorts, and are offering to pay. DH and I would rather be at the beach, but DH does not have a lot of vacation time (he manages a pool company, so unfortunately little work from home opportunity from them, and summers are obviously quite busy). But I would hate to miss out on the opportunity to vacation with our grandkids.

Am I wrong to feel that this is a lot to process? We pay for lovely accommodations. I understand that DIL wants something different and is offering to pay, but I still kind of wonder why a free beach week is so awful and tradition needs to be changed.

Oh God. Not everyone likes beaches. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

You are lucky they are inviting you to come with them and giving you a full year’s notice.

Can’t you do both? Maybe go to the mountains for a few days.

I have 3 kids and would be thrilled if my son included me in their plans. The same summer vacation year after year can be boring.

My friend’s husband had limited vacation time. Their family goes to their summer beach house every summer and skiing every winter. My friend was so mad that they were stuck vacationing with his family all the time and not go on their own vacations. They are divorced now.

[Anonymous]

This is DIL posting, make no mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is DIL posting, make no mistake.

It’s just a troll. OP hasn’t recently returned and yet we have three pages filled with rants from angry DILs. Probably most are troll posts too given the speed.

[Anonymous]

OP, please link to some of the Fenwick properties you usually rent.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP! My family has gone to Fenwick since my mother was 13 (I'm 41). Last year was the first year we went somewhere new. Mostly because we need 8 bedrooms and there's basically zero houses for rent in Fenwick that have a pool and 8 bedrooms. It was important to my mom that we continue going to the beach, as that is her happy place. As her children we have no issues with that. We do however all get 4-8 weeks of vacation per year.

My inlaws however would prefer a new place every year and it has to have a ridiculous amount of activities so father in law doesn't get bored.

You have to decide what is important to you. If it's being together as a family and seeing your grandchildren consider a compromise? Every other year go to the beach, then the off years try other places. A lake, the opposite coast, amusement park, etc.