Son and DIL asking for new vacation next year

[Anonymous]

Funny someone mentioned this earlier too- we unexpectedly have red headed children and the beach is SO stressful. They have burnt in the shade with sun screen on. They have burnt through rash guards.

I adore my in laws but no way would I blow a week of my PTO to do the same exact thing every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As is almost always the way in threads started by petulant MILs, OP hasn't been back to clarify any points or thank people for their input.

Because, as in most of these threads, she wasn’t told what she wanted to hear.

Or it’s a troll trying to stir the “bad MIL” pot. That was my first take.

Are you a MIL? There's at least one person who posts regularly about how hard MILs have it. And maybe some of them do, but mostly we have MILs who cannot put on their "Pity me" sash and tiara fast enough.

OP's "so awful" is a classic move for people who aren't willing to listen to any other perspectives. Think of those guys who, asked to pull their weight around the house, immediately ask something like, "Oh, I guess I'm just nothing but a burden to you and I can't do anything right anyway."

Great approach if you want to someone to stop talking to you entirely. Then you can claim you don't know what you did wrong, but you guess husbands/MILs/whoever are just there to be used and discarded unless you're willing to be a total doormat.

I think the pro MIL poster is outnumbered by the MIL haters who seem to show up in every thread and get very aggressive pro DIL even when OP never comes back. The aggressive posters keep the threads going and going for pages saying the same things over and over again like they are finally taking it out on their own MIL. So many of these posts are troll threads too and people fall for it over and over again.

[Anonymous]

This is why I hate family traditions and refuse to participate in the same thing year after year because the year you suggest something different or don't show up. It is like world war 3.
Husbands and wives both work outside the home with limited PTO throwing kids activities and their time is even more limited. We're not going to promise you one week of my year to do whatever you want with me. I will do what I want with my family meaning my husband and children and if you get an invite you should feel lucky.

[Anonymous]

Change is inevitable, OP. Adapt or die.

[Anonymous]

Based on the way you are apparently blaming the DIL for everything despite her bending over backwards to accommodate you, she sounds like a saint.

[Anonymous]

Children owe their parents nothing and especially adult children owe their parents nothing. Stop trying to hang these beach vacations over your son's head. If he enjoyed them, great. So did you. If he didn't, who cares. He's now trying to find something. He and his family and joy move on if you don't want to be included in that.

[Anonymous]

What's more important to you, going to the beach or seeing the grandkids?

[Anonymous]

OMG. I can see a friend posting this in 20 years. They go to Aruba every year, twice a year. I’m sure it’s nice, but there are thousands of other places to go to.

When you have one or two true weeks of vacation (versus just taking a day off here and there), you want to pick your own vacation. The is not meant to be a slight to anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As is almost always the way in threads started by petulant MILs, OP hasn't been back to clarify any points or thank people for their input.

Because, as in most of these threads, she wasn’t told what she wanted to hear.

Or it’s a troll trying to stir the “bad MIL” pot. That was my first take.

Are you a MIL? There's at least one person who posts regularly about how hard MILs have it. And maybe some of them do, but mostly we have MILs who cannot put on their "Pity me" sash and tiara fast enough.

OP's "so awful" is a classic move for people who aren't willing to listen to any other perspectives. Think of those guys who, asked to pull their weight around the house, immediately ask something like, "Oh, I guess I'm just nothing but a burden to you and I can't do anything right anyway."

Great approach if you want to someone to stop talking to you entirely. Then you can claim you don't know what you did wrong, but you guess husbands/MILs/whoever are just there to be used and discarded unless you're willing to be a total doormat.

Not a MIL and don’t have one (she died young). The post just seems trollish to me based on how it’s written and the plot.

[Anonymous]

I would much rather be in the mountains. Do you have more vacation time? Go to the beach another time.

[Anonymous]

If I had to use my vacation time to go in the SAME vacation year in and year out with my ILs I would fling myself into the ocean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not alternate years for picking the location?

This. I hate the beach and would not want to go yearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know it is DIL who wants the switch? Maybe it is DH? I can understand why this would be a lot to process. However, I think you have a choice here of vacationing with the grandkids or sticking to your traditions.

I love how the default is to blame the DIL

[Anonymous]

So if you have flexibility, go with your son next year and leave your husband home. Must you always be a package deal? You can still have your beach vacation with him and your friends.

[Anonymous]

I would hate to have you as a mother in law.

You sound awful.