Agree or disagree? Kids should only play travel sports if they have college or pro potential
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Anonymous
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I get the bitter nerd vibe, too, and a bit of judgey superiority. Travel sports are not for everybody but they are right for some. My boy at 8 burned with white-hot intensity and an obsession with his sport; he was not content with rec or with just playing kick-the-can in the neighborhood (though he still had time for and did plenty of that). We joined a low key travel club and it was perfect— when he was ready, he asked to move to a higher level club that practiced more and played against better competition. We did travel quite a bit (to Europe, even) but it is time that we enjoyed together— we bonded on those car rides — talking, singing songs, and adding fun side trips. At the end of it all, he ended up turning down several offers to play for universities (he played
Club) and focused on his academics. Was it still worth it? Absolutely— and we were lucky we had the resources and time (plus no other kids at home!) to allow him to pursue his passion. He learned to channel that intensity in healthy ways— He learned how to be a gracious winner as well as a gracious loser. He learned how to handle disappointment, how to deal with different personalities on the team, and how to advocate for himself. He learned how to be uncomfortable in situations and he developed grit. He made varsity as a freshman on his high school team and this introverted and shy boy eventually became captain. All worth it— and he didn’t even play on his college team. |
Anonymous
I think travel sports are fine if (a) it's the kid pushing to do it, and (b) the travel kid's choice of activity isn't hurting another kid in the family. We have friends whose only child is on a travel soccer team, and that's basically their life on weekends. Their choice. On the other hand, I have a relative with two kids, one who does travel soccer, and one who has no interest in sports. The non-sporty kid is too young to stay home alone, so the rest of the sports crazy family drags the poor kid to their travel matches. That's not okay, or fair, IMO. Not surprising, as my relative reminds me of a lot of the people posting on here, who seem a little too interested in re-living their glory days through their kids. |
Anonymous
I agree with this. There is an all-or-nothing quality to sports in the DMV that I think is really unhealthy and is why you see so much division on this thread. In the other parts of the US I've lived in (California, the Midwest, Atlanta-area, Seattle) there are lots of opportunities for kids who are not superstars in a sports to play sports at school or through a rec league that operates through the school, from elementary through high school. The DMV is the only place I've ever lived where it is common for kids whose talent is middling and interest is primarily social (which, for the record, I think is a perfectly good reason to play sports) to play on travel teams. I can't tell if this is driven by overzealous parents who are determined to turn their kids into varsity and college athletes, or if it's a cultural think in UMC neighborhoods where so many kids are doing this that it's what all the kids want to do. But it has a really negative impact on sports culture here. It's sad that many kids in DC who might enjoy playing sports at a low/hobbyist level throughout their childhoods basically can't afford to because unless your family can afford travel leagues, you are unlikely to make any of the available school teams, and there are very few JV, intramural, or rec opportunities available past early elementary. And even if your family can afford it, I really question whether the time commitment makes sense if your kid is only ever going to play recreational -- it seems to shift the focus of childhood to athletics in a way that doesn't really make sense if you aren't aiming at a more serious athletic career. Plus places a burden on siblings, who often wind up tagging along or getting significantly less time with one or both parents than their older sibling did, because of the time commitment of travel clubs. I played three sports in MS (track, volleyball, basketball) and then was on the JV volleyball team for 3/4 years of high school and it was a great experience that helped me socially and instilled a lot of basic fitness skills and knowledge that I still use now, 30 years later. I was never going to play at a varsity level no matter how hard I worked (and there were a couple years that I worked really hard with this intention before recognizing I'd found my level) but I still enjoyed playing and it was as foundational to my development as a person as learning to write an essay. The idea that many kids simply don't get access to this because the focus in this area is on the most expensive and serious version of sport participation. It should really be the opposite, where most kids sports are local, free or very inexpensive, with a low burden on families, and some small percentage pursue more serious levels at higher cost of money and time because of their child's high interest and talent level. That's how it is most other places I've lived. |
Anonymous
What do you mean giving up their whole weekend for travel soccer? My kid's season is 8 games, 4 of which are home games and the equivalent of a rec game. Of the remaining four at least a couple are usually very local, so maybe a 20 minute drive. That's for EDP which is a mid to high level league. The other two take up most of the day, but only one parent goes. They do two tournaments a season, so that's an additional two weekends shot. To me that isn't even close to 'basically their life on weekends' |
Anonymous
+1, you've just described the two families I thought of when I first saw this thread. One with an only child who loves soccer, is great at it, and plays on a competitive travel team that regularly wins championships and the entire family really enjoys the experience. And the other with two kids, the older of whom played travel soccer for 6 years while her younger brother read comics in the backseat of the car or played with a Gameboy while sitting under the bleachers. It's not even that I think his downtime was detrimental for him -- I think he learned independence and creativity. But I think he is negatively impacted by the degree to which the family schedule was dictated by his sister's sport for much of his childhood, not just when they were traveling for her games but the way it dominated family conversations, budgets, etc. I don't even think his parents recognize that this has created a dynamic that will last the rest of their kids' lives, with inequities between the siblings and a resentment on the younger brother's side at being expected to make himself small nd convenient to accommodate his sister. Who, by the way, is now a HS sophomore and no longer plays. |
Anonymous
I grew up in Canada, and what you described in your last paragraph is exactly how hockey was for us. There were many levels of hockey for kids and teenagers, and you rose up to the level of your talent and determination. A small handful of kids rose up to the elite level, but even for average players like me, there were plenty of opportunities to play in an organized league. This level of all or nothing in the DMV is very odd to me. |
Anonymous
| Disagree. |
Anonymous
We saw it with another family whose oldest daughter plays travel lacrosse. They had to cancel a family vacation because of a tournament last summer. Growing up, I can't imagine any family I knew basing their entire family's schedule over one kid's sporting events. And, back then, no coach would have had the temerity to threaten to kick a player off a team if they went away on a family vacation. Parents back then would have laughed such a lunatic out of the room. |
Anonymous
I realize many people are posting broad assumptions here but just to break that up a bit, my DC comes to most of her brother's travel sports games on the weekend where she quietly reads or draws. She dances, takes a martial art (with her sibs)and a musical instrument, and come fall, will participate in a different travel sport so I really don't think she think family life revolves around her brother's sports. We also take regular vacations as a family and give plenty of heads up of absences from their games, if any. Maybe because one of my children is a "superstar" athlete but we have never been threatened about being kicked off a team for taking vacations. That's insane to me. But I guess I would agree that canceling vacations for a tournament is crazy. And it's even crazier to play for a club that threatens your child's place if you take a vacation. Especially for top youth athletes, it's so important to stay balanced with non-sport priorities such as family, school work, and rest. I feel that there are travel sport families who are especially mindful of that because they are raising such intense little people who need to stay grounded or come to earth at some point if their high school, college, or pro aspirations don't materialize. |
Anonymous
My kid lost all of his playing time because he went on a week-long school-sponsored Spring Break trip that was planned in October and missed a State Cup game. Then, he went on a pre-planned school chorus trip and missed a game that was scheduled one week in advance. After that, he sat every game. Coach told us that his level of commitment wasn't where it should be. We parted ways. |
Anonymous
Yeah I can’t agree, and my kid plays summer club lacrosse. The season is intense, but fairly short (June through mid July). The schedule is announced months in advance. We vacation…in August, when the season has wrapped up. It’s not fair to the other players - including those who tried out and didn’t make it - to take up a slot and then leave for a week in the middle of a fairly short season for a poorly planned/timed family getaway. |
Anonymous
+1 Tee ball takes 5 hours per week. |
Anonymous
I agree a kid shouldn’t be forced and there should be balance. We are a divide and split family when it comes to weekends/tournaments. I will say though that sometimes, especially for a summer/fall (aka good weather) travel season, it can be fun for the FAMILY to travel. Yes we might have 3 games for the sibling to watch, but there are also playgrounds at the facility, hot dog and ice cream stands and other fun things. And after the game wraps up, we go out to eat as a family, maybe even hit the beach depending on where the games are. We’ve gone bowling, to mini golf etc - all after the games ended in the afternoon on a tournament weekend. So as a friend, you might hear that we took sibling to yet another tournament, but there was a lot of *family* time that everyone enjoyed that weekend that you might not, as an outsider, realize. |
Anonymous
| I understand how they'd could be family time, but what about the siblings and what they might want? Do they have to go all the time? What if they just want to hang out with their friends or something? |
Anonymous
Yeah, I think a lot of sporty parents have a blind spot when it comes to their non-athlete kids. They would never, for example, drag the athletic kid out to a D&D convention if that's what the non-athletic kid wanted to do on a Saturday. |