Agree or disagree? Kids should only play travel sports if they have college or pro potential

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know, people used to criticize black families for investing time and energy into sports as though it was the ticket to college and financial stability when, of course, only a tiny fraction of even kids playing in competitive basketball leagues or playing football at those schools that get heavily recruited by top college football programs will go on to get a full scholarship, and even fewer will wind up playing professionally. Even among those that play professionally, only a small number will have a career long enough to actually transform their lives. And many, many of the kids in these programs were instead exploited for money and prestige by the adults who run the programs, and many kids dealt with serious injuries that torpedoed their athletic careers and may even have limited non-athletic careers. And white people used to stand around and tut-tut these families.

How is travel soccer or baseball different than that, other than I guess lower concussion risk than football (lower, but not non-existent, by the way)?

For a UMC family, travel sports are not a way out or a ticket to a better life or a real sacrifice. Everyone involved knows this. If you have to struggle or sacrifice to pay team dues, then the family is better off with the kid playing rec.

[Anonymous]

As other PP have said, to play in high school in this area, public or private, you often have to be playing at a travel level alrdy.

This. I don't even think my DS is going to make HS soccer team but who knows. It's early.

The other thing is the parent coaches in rec can be really awful too. Often they are not but sometimes they are and really have no knowledge of what they are doing, no training, no support from the clubs, and are just volunteers. Even while travel soccer may not be quite worth the price, it obviously is if people keep paying the demand is there.

I also agree with the theater and dance parents. Those activities can be even more time-consuming, pricey, and competitive. All of our daughter's friends who do competitive dance have almost no life outside of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, the reality is for some sports a kid needs to play travel to have any chance at making the high school team. That is why we do it.

The main thing driving travel (for non phenoms) is that high schools have increased in size, making it harder to make teams than it was when we were kids. Some started playing travel to gain an edge, more and more followed…and once the majority takes that route, the rest are forced to follow if they want to keep up. Rec options in many sports are VERY limited to nonexistent for teenagers.

It would help to have high school “A” “B” teams or intramural/rec options for high demand sports. But I can’t picture how that would even work.

It's crazy how few below-varsity teams the large public high schools in the DC area offer. I went to a high school with like 700 kids and we had freshman baseball and soccer teams. Schools in the Chicago area of similar size to schools in the DC area often field multiple freshman teams in sports where no freshman teams are offered around here, sometimes there are multiple sophomore/JV teams as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As other PP have said, to play in high school in this area, public or private, you often have to be playing at a travel level alrdy.

This. I don't even think my DS is going to make HS soccer team but who knows. It's early.

The other thing is the parent coaches in rec can be really awful too. Often they are not but sometimes they are and really have no knowledge of what they are doing, no training, no support from the clubs, and are just volunteers. Even while travel soccer may not be quite worth the price, it obviously is if people keep paying the demand is there.

I also agree with the theater and dance parents. Those activities can be even more time-consuming, pricey, and competitive. All of our daughter's friends who do competitive dance have almost no life outside of it.

I have a travel sport son and a ballerina daughter. The hours, cost and impact on the body are much, much worse with dance in our experience. The only difference is less travel for the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do travel sports period, but I can't imagine a kid actually wanting unless they had those goals.

My kid is in middle school and his mind just isn’t anywhere near college/pro yet. He lives in the hear and now.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:While I have always admired highly athletic kids and wish them the best, I am just so glad that mine never fell into that category. The commitment required for travel sports sounds exhausting, and many of the parents seem insufferable. And for what? The vast majority of the kids end up putting the sport largely behind them, more often than not before college. I just don't get the appeal.

I don’t understand why people care so much about what other kids do. But I’ll bite..our kids enjoyed travel sports because they loved their sport, got frustrated in rec when kids missed games and practice at the drop of a hat, liked the competitive nature and overall higher skill and commitment levels in travel. None of them had any interest or desire to play in college. But they made great friends, stayed fit, and had great time management skills which served them well in high school and college.

Why isn’t the same disdain shown to non athletic extracurriculars? It gets old.

I wouldn't say I have disdain for travel sports or other highly competitive expensive exracurriculars, but I would never let my child do them. Money aside, these activities are intense abd really don't allow kids to be kids and have a childhood. I don't want my child so busy that they do not have time for much else.

So if your kid developed a particular passion that they loved enough to put the time in to improve, be it music or sports or whatever, you'd discourage it?

Possibly, but its not like im putting a blanket ban on all activities or sometjing.. I'm not 100% sure. Do you really let your kids do whatever they wabt? No limitations anywhere? I think travel or high competitive activities are way too expensive and a time suck, not just for me, but for my kids. Like I said, I think for kids 14 and under free time and free play ate very important.

14 is too late to jump on the competitive sports bandwagon. If you wait that long, it's long over.

Then it's over. I'll listen to my kid and discuss things with them, but at the end of the day kids don't get to do everything they want.

It's also going to be fun because all of that "free time" will be spent on devices. Do you think 14 year olds are playing at the park?

Why not? 14 and under are kids. I absolutely expect then to be kids, what wrong with that? Devices arent big at my house, so that's a non issue

Sure, every 13 year old with no extra curriculars focusing on being a kid avoids just playing video games and texting

So are you saying imposing limits doesn't work?

So you don't want your kid to just be a kid and enjoy the freedom of childhood? How many teenagers do you see at playgrounds?

Of course I want them to be kids and enjoy their childhoods. That's why I won't let them veg on screens all the time or overschedule them. I also find it sad when young kids are over it and don't go outside atcall.

My kid wouldn’t enjoy not being in travel sports because all his friends and neighborhood kids do them. He would have no one to hang out with nearly every Saturday.

Doesn’t mean they don’t chill, relax at the playground, go fishing/ice cream/biking together from time to time especially when the weather is nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, people used to criticize black families for investing time and energy into sports as though it was the ticket to college and financial stability when, of course, only a tiny fraction of even kids playing in competitive basketball leagues or playing football at those schools that get heavily recruited by top college football programs will go on to get a full scholarship, and even fewer will wind up playing professionally. Even among those that play professionally, only a small number will have a career long enough to actually transform their lives. And many, many of the kids in these programs were instead exploited for money and prestige by the adults who run the programs, and many kids dealt with serious injuries that torpedoed their athletic careers and may even have limited non-athletic careers. And white people used to stand around and tut-tut these families.

How is travel soccer or baseball different than that, other than I guess lower concussion risk than football (lower, but not non-existent, by the way)?

I think the difference is that the UMC parents who push their kids into travel soccer aren't expecting their kids to make a living out of it (the reality is, the kids who will end up going pro are in MLS academies, not travel soccer). Rather, they're using it as a line item on a college application, and a way to get an advantage in the university application death match.

MLS Next is absolutely travel soccer.

[Anonymous]

As someone who has had kids on both A and B teams, my experience has been the opposite. B team parents were chill. A team parents were … the opposite.


TRUE!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been through the sports wringer with my kids and as a volunteer. I have never, ever met parents of a kid on a travel team who did not assume that their kid was a potential star. I've never met one.

Also those posts about young kids being frustrated by playing with less talented peers. The parents are the ones who feel that way and teach it to their kids.

This. Like the people on another current thread who have CONVINCED themselves (and tried to convince others) that without spending all weekend every weekend shuttling around to endless sports, their elementary school kid simply won’t be able to get into a good college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been through the sports wringer with my kids and as a volunteer. I have never, ever met parents of a kid on a travel team who did not assume that their kid was a potential star. I've never met one.

Also those posts about young kids being frustrated by playing with less talented peers. The parents are the ones who feel that way and teach it to their kids.

This. Like the people on another current thread who have CONVINCED themselves (and tried to convince others) that without spending all weekend every weekend shuttling around to endless sports, their elementary school kid simply won’t be able to get into a good college.

That’s what they *think* they’re doing. The reality is that being the 900th soccer player they see in the admission pool is meaningless.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Our kids play travel sports because DH and I both played travel sports then a college sport, so for us it is just a lifestyle that we love and are comfortable with spending our time and money to support. Ironically, our youngest son chose about the only 2 sports that neither of us played growing up (ice hockey and lacrosse), so we're having fun learning along the way, but the level of athleticism and parental commitment required is the same across most sports (though hockey is really expensive). Older kids played travel sports then D1 and D3 athletics (no scholarship for either). Wouldn't change it for the world. We just love sports.

Translation: we like it, so we forced it on our kids.

Yes, this. Because kids can't have a childhood or be functional adults without all of these extras.

Exactly. I love how the poster says her youngest chose a sport "neither of us played growing up." What she really means is: we made clear to the kids that they had to pick at least one sport to participate in and didn't give them a choice in the matter because that's how important we think playing a sport is. Because we all know that that is exactly what happened.

Kids who do sports when they are young learn the value of moving their bodies for the fun of it and it carries over into adulthood. Most people I know who didn't do any sports as kids are frumpy in their middle age. I'm guessing you're one of them. Have fun enjoying the health problems that come with being sedentary. I'm sure you'll lie here and say you exercise every day. I call BS.

Most of the people I know who have played sports are fat and walk with difficult because of old injuries.

This. God, the sports obsessed parents will grab at any straw. “If you don’t play sports as a child, YOU’LL GROW UP TO BE FRUMPY!!”

Imbeciles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:While I have always admired highly athletic kids and wish them the best, I am just so glad that mine never fell into that category. The commitment required for travel sports sounds exhausting, and many of the parents seem insufferable. And for what? The vast majority of the kids end up putting the sport largely behind them, more often than not before college. I just don't get the appeal.

I don’t understand why people care so much about what other kids do. But I’ll bite..our kids enjoyed travel sports because they loved their sport, got frustrated in rec when kids missed games and practice at the drop of a hat, liked the competitive nature and overall higher skill and commitment levels in travel. None of them had any interest or desire to play in college. But they made great friends, stayed fit, and had great time management skills which served them well in high school and college.

Why isn’t the same disdain shown to non athletic extracurriculars? It gets old.

I wouldn't say I have disdain for travel sports or other highly competitive expensive exracurriculars, but I would never let my child do them. Money aside, these activities are intense abd really don't allow kids to be kids and have a childhood. I don't want my child so busy that they do not have time for much else.

So if your kid developed a particular passion that they loved enough to put the time in to improve, be it music or sports or whatever, you'd discourage it?

Possibly, but its not like im putting a blanket ban on all activities or sometjing.. I'm not 100% sure. Do you really let your kids do whatever they wabt? No limitations anywhere? I think travel or high competitive activities are way too expensive and a time suck, not just for me, but for my kids. Like I said, I think for kids 14 and under free time and free play ate very important.

14 is too late to jump on the competitive sports bandwagon. If you wait that long, it's long over.

Then it's over. I'll listen to my kid and discuss things with them, but at the end of the day kids don't get to do everything they want.

Okay... why you are even posting on here then? You're clearly not an athlete yourself, nor will your kid(s) ever have a shot at being a successful athlete, so this board isn't for you. Do you have some kind of inferiority complex over it?

Oh, sweetie, no one has an “inferiority” complex about you. No one. We are totally unimpressed by you and your kids and your insecurity is showing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been through the sports wringer with my kids and as a volunteer. I have never, ever met parents of a kid on a travel team who did not assume that their kid was a potential star. I've never met one.

Also those posts about young kids being frustrated by playing with less talented peers. The parents are the ones who feel that way and teach it to their kids.

This. Like the people on another current thread who have CONVINCED themselves (and tried to convince others) that without spending all weekend every weekend shuttling around to endless sports, their elementary school kid simply won’t be able to get into a good college.

That’s what they *think* they’re doing. The reality is that being the 900th soccer player they see in the admission pool is meaningless.

+1

The idea that travel soccer is going to be the thing that makes your kid stand out, especially coming from the DMV where so many UMC kids do it and it’s much more a reflection of your parents resources than the kid’s inherent talent or drive, is honestly sad.

I think it’s like so many other parenting things in this area. It’s just become something a lot of UMC kids do, so their parents either push it or support it to help their kid fit in. It’s part of the competitive parenting Olympics, another expensive and exhausting but minimally rewarding thing parents are expected to do for no reason other than it’s what other parents do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, people used to criticize black families for investing time and energy into sports as though it was the ticket to college and financial stability when, of course, only a tiny fraction of even kids playing in competitive basketball leagues or playing football at those schools that get heavily recruited by top college football programs will go on to get a full scholarship, and even fewer will wind up playing professionally. Even among those that play professionally, only a small number will have a career long enough to actually transform their lives. And many, many of the kids in these programs were instead exploited for money and prestige by the adults who run the programs, and many kids dealt with serious injuries that torpedoed their athletic careers and may even have limited non-athletic careers. And white people used to stand around and tut-tut these families.

How is travel soccer or baseball different than that, other than I guess lower concussion risk than football (lower, but not non-existent, by the way)?

I think the difference is that the UMC parents who push their kids into travel soccer aren't expecting their kids to make a living out of it (the reality is, the kids who will end up going pro are in MLS academies, not travel soccer). Rather, they're using it as a line item on a college application, and a way to get an advantage in the university application death match.

MLS Next is absolutely travel soccer.

And 99% of UMC parents sending their kids there expect them to go to college after graduation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I have always admired highly athletic kids and wish them the best, I am just so glad that mine never fell into that category. The commitment required for travel sports sounds exhausting, and many of the parents seem insufferable. And for what? The vast majority of the kids end up putting the sport largely behind them, more often than not before college. I just don't get the appeal.

I don’t understand why people care so much about what other kids do. But I’ll bite..our kids enjoyed travel sports because they loved their sport, got frustrated in rec when kids missed games and practice at the drop of a hat, liked the competitive nature and overall higher skill and commitment levels in travel. None of them had any interest or desire to play in college. But they made great friends, stayed fit, and had great time management skills which served them well in high school and college.

Why isn’t the same disdain shown to non athletic extracurriculars? It gets old.

I wouldn't say I have disdain for travel sports or other highly competitive expensive exracurriculars, but I would never let my child do them. Money aside, these activities are intense abd really don't allow kids to be kids and have a childhood. I don't want my child so busy that they do not have time for much else.

So if your kid developed a particular passion that they loved enough to put the time in to improve, be it music or sports or whatever, you'd discourage it?

Possibly, but its not like im putting a blanket ban on all activities or sometjing.. I'm not 100% sure. Do you really let your kids do whatever they wabt? No limitations anywhere? I think travel or high competitive activities are way too expensive and a time suck, not just for me, but for my kids. Like I said, I think for kids 14 and under free time and free play ate very important.

14 is too late to jump on the competitive sports bandwagon. If you wait that long, it's long over.

Then it's over. I'll listen to my kid and discuss things with them, but at the end of the day kids don't get to do everything they want.

Okay... why you are even posting on here then? You're clearly not an athlete yourself, nor will your kid(s) ever have a shot at being a successful athlete, so this board isn't for you. Do you have some kind of inferiority complex over it?

Oh, sweetie, no one has an “inferiority” complex about you. No one. We are totally unimpressed by you and your kids and your insecurity is showing.

DP but seriously why are people like you here (on this forum)? A lot of people who didn’t do sports or whose kids aren’t into sports don’t seem to understand sports culture yet want to denigrate it. Why go out of your way to do so? Do you think you are better because your kids are more into the academics or the arts or something? I was an athlete and I have a STEM PhD so as an adult I know a lot of super smart academics/scientists and a lot of jock types. Honestly the jock types are by and large more successful and happier. They are more confident and less stressed and make a lot more money. Like it or not a lot of social connections are made through sports.

Of course some sports parents are over the top just like some “tiger parents” are over the top with academics, as are the dance/cheer moms, the stage moms, etc. Humans are competitive by nature. I am getting a bitter nerd vibe from this thread.