Agree or disagree? Kids should only play travel sports if they have college or pro potential

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how they'd could be family time, but what about the siblings and what they might want? Do they have to go all the time? What if they just want to hang out with their friends or something?

Yeah, I think a lot of sporty parents have a blind spot when it comes to their non-athlete kids. They would never, for example, drag the athletic kid out to a D&D convention if that's what the non-athletic kid wanted to do on a Saturday.

I really do not understand why people think this kind of thing is specific to sports. One of my neighbors has a teenage daughter who is an amazing pianist. The youngest sibling totally gets dragged to her concerts and competitions all over the place even though that child does not play.

I know it's not sports specific, but are they thinking about the other siblings? What if they don't want to be dragged around? Don't you think they could have resentment towards the other child?

Well sure but people on this thread are trying to argue that there’s something unique about sports parents and how terrible they are. When in reality it’s something that can happen with any activity. The particular vitriol towards sports is very strange.

[Anonymous]

Well thread specific, this happens to be a sports forum. Plus, personally, I've seen it happen way more with sports than anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how they'd could be family time, but what about the siblings and what they might want? Do they have to go all the time? What if they just want to hang out with their friends or something?

Yeah, I think a lot of sporty parents have a blind spot when it comes to their non-athlete kids. They would never, for example, drag the athletic kid out to a D&D convention if that's what the non-athletic kid wanted to do on a Saturday.

I really do not understand why people think this kind of thing is specific to sports. One of my neighbors has a teenage daughter who is an amazing pianist. The youngest sibling totally gets dragged to her concerts and competitions all over the place even though that child does not play.

I know it's not sports specific, but are they thinking about the other siblings? What if they don't want to be dragged around? Don't you think they could have resentment towards the other child?

Well sure but people on this thread are trying to argue that there’s something unique about sports parents and how terrible they are. When in reality it’s something that can happen with any activity. The particular vitriol towards sports is very strange.

I think sports are targeted because they're so prevalent compared to, say, school orchestra or theater. Certainly, sports parents seem to believe their preferred activity is somehow morally superior, based on so many posts on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, people used to criticize black families for investing time and energy into sports as though it was the ticket to college and financial stability when, of course, only a tiny fraction of even kids playing in competitive basketball leagues or playing football at those schools that get heavily recruited by top college football programs will go on to get a full scholarship, and even fewer will wind up playing professionally. Even among those that play professionally, only a small number will have a career long enough to actually transform their lives. And many, many of the kids in these programs were instead exploited for money and prestige by the adults who run the programs, and many kids dealt with serious injuries that torpedoed their athletic careers and may even have limited non-athletic careers. And white people used to stand around and tut-tut these families.

How is travel soccer or baseball different than that, other than I guess lower concussion risk than football (lower, but not non-existent, by the way)?

For a UMC family, travel sports are not a way out or a ticket to a better life or a real sacrifice. Everyone involved knows this. If you have to struggle or sacrifice to pay team dues, then the family is better off with the kid playing rec.

Exactly. I am not aware of anyone on our travel team who views sports as a ticket to a better life. Sports are just a part of healthy lifestyles for most UMC families. Most of us got where we are because we're competitive by nature, and so are our kids, so our kids find their way to travel teams with out support. At any given practice, the parking lot is filled with nice cards and there are almost no overweight parents on our team.

[Anonymous]

I've got one natural athlete (DD) and one not so natural athlete (DS). I pushed the non-natural athlete into a sport at the beginning and have some regrets about that but it's turned into an interesting place. Sports have brought up a lot of interesting conversations regarding commitment level, talent vs work ethic, and why he chooses to play sports (it's certainly not for winning/glory/college potential). At this point, he chooses to play his sport because it gives him a sense of satisfaction that his hard work -> better outcomes. It also allows him to get out his energy in a much more productive fashion (when he's not in sports season, a lot of that energy is focused on irritating his sister). I encouraged him to drop down to Rec multiple times but he keeps pushing to stay on his travel team. For my DD, she likes sports because she gains a lot of confidence from performing well and succeeding. She works exceptionally hard at her sports, and while she does very well at school as well, she doesn't get nearly as much recognition as she does from her sports community (other athletes in the sports, parents, coaches). Does she have college potential? Probably, but likes many others have said, you won't know for sure until 14+. But from a time commitment perspective, she looks forward to going to her sports everyday and it's how she motivates herself to get out of bed each morning. I can't imagine how anything else could be more 'letting kids be kids' then letting my kids choose their own paths.

It's interesting watching my son during non-sports season when he has time to 'just be a kid'. What we found is: 1. most other kids are highly scheduled and it's hard to get together with other kids. 2. most of his choices end up being indoor choices to do solo activities (especially reading and legos) 3. sports provide a critical social experience for him, especially since he's not an introvert. He has had to deal with some challenging social situations on his team and I'm just so thankful because he wouldn't get this social feedback any other way. So while I could let him make his own choices and likely just reading/playing with legos, I don't think anyone could argue that those are better choices for him than allowing him to plays sports for part of the year.

We do make them come to each others games and I view that time as 'letting kids be kids'. There are always other kids to play with and my kids can choose what activities they want to do. I don't care if they don't want to come to the other kids games.. to me, that's exactly what real life is like where you get put into a non-ideal situation and you have to make the best of it. My opinion is that any resentment one child feels is a reflection more on them then on me. I get that they don't want to go to the game, but they also don't want to brush their teeth, help babysit their cousins, walk the dog, go on hikes, take out the trash, etc. I have gotten criticism from non-parents for not enabling my kids to choose how they spend all their time, but my view is that I gave them a certain set of constraints and they need to figure out how to entertain themselves/succeed on their own. If they're going to be resentful of their sibling, it's not going to be only tied to attending sporting events. I promise you that they tell me they are just as bored when they are at sporting events as when they are at home.

And I'll close this off by saying that both my spouse (not really sporty and hates watching any sporting event on TV) and myself (more sporty but didn't play college sports) really enjoy going to our kids' sporting events. There are so few things that our kids do that we actually get to watch. It's great when they do well on a test or tell a story about overcoming something at school, but actually getting to watch my child overcome giant hurdles and grow over time; that's priceless. We only get so many years with our kids and I am so glad I get to drive my kids to these activities and spend time with them when they don't have other distractions (like they do when we're at home). I am so glad they are not just sitting in their room, playing video games and not interacting with other kids, which is what my DS does during non-sports seasons (within electronic time limits of course). I am so glad they are getting pushed out of their comfort zone in social situations and being asked to perform in situations that are challenging. I am so glad they are getting exposed to stressful environments, and environments where kids/parents/coaches act inappropriately so we can talk to them about how to deal with that. The worst experiences for my kids this year have all been at school (sexual harassment, bullying), so I am so thankful that sports provide an avenue to personal growth in a well managed environment. I don't care when or if they stop playing their sport of choice, but I am so glad I get to be a part of their life and see them grow. While I have no doubt other kid activities enable these kinds of experiences, I am glad sports are an important part of my children's development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how they'd could be family time, but what about the siblings and what they might want? Do they have to go all the time? What if they just want to hang out with their friends or something?

Yeah, I think a lot of sporty parents have a blind spot when it comes to their non-athlete kids. They would never, for example, drag the athletic kid out to a D&D convention if that's what the non-athletic kid wanted to do on a Saturday.

I really do not understand why people think this kind of thing is specific to sports. One of my neighbors has a teenage daughter who is an amazing pianist. The youngest sibling totally gets dragged to her concerts and competitions all over the place even though that child does not play.

I know it's not sports specific, but are they thinking about the other siblings? What if they don't want to be dragged around? Don't you think they could have resentment towards the other child?

Well sure but people on this thread are trying to argue that there’s something unique about sports parents and how terrible they are. When in reality it’s something that can happen with any activity. The particular vitriol towards sports is very strange.

I think sports are targeted because they're so prevalent compared to, say, school orchestra or theater. Certainly, sports parents seem to believe their preferred activity is somehow morally superior, based on so many posts on here.

It's baffling that you seem to think sports even need to be targeted. Worry about your own life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how they'd could be family time, but what about the siblings and what they might want? Do they have to go all the time? What if they just want to hang out with their friends or something?

Yeah, I think a lot of sporty parents have a blind spot when it comes to their non-athlete kids. They would never, for example, drag the athletic kid out to a D&D convention if that's what the non-athletic kid wanted to do on a Saturday.

I really do not understand why people think this kind of thing is specific to sports. One of my neighbors has a teenage daughter who is an amazing pianist. The youngest sibling totally gets dragged to her concerts and competitions all over the place even though that child does not play.

I know it's not sports specific, but are they thinking about the other siblings? What if they don't want to be dragged around? Don't you think they could have resentment towards the other child?

Well sure but people on this thread are trying to argue that there’s something unique about sports parents and how terrible they are. When in reality it’s something that can happen with any activity. The particular vitriol towards sports is very strange.

I think sports are targeted because they're so prevalent compared to, say, school orchestra or theater. Certainly, sports parents seem to believe their preferred activity is somehow morally superior, based on so many posts on here.

It's baffling that you seem to think sports even need to be targeted. Worry about your own life.

It's baffling to you that some people might think sports are a little too influential in American society?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how they'd could be family time, but what about the siblings and what they might want? Do they have to go all the time? What if they just want to hang out with their friends or something?

Yeah, I think a lot of sporty parents have a blind spot when it comes to their non-athlete kids. They would never, for example, drag the athletic kid out to a D&D convention if that's what the non-athletic kid wanted to do on a Saturday.

I really do not understand why people think this kind of thing is specific to sports. One of my neighbors has a teenage daughter who is an amazing pianist. The youngest sibling totally gets dragged to her concerts and competitions all over the place even though that child does not play.

I know it's not sports specific, but are they thinking about the other siblings? What if they don't want to be dragged around? Don't you think they could have resentment towards the other child?

Well sure but people on this thread are trying to argue that there’s something unique about sports parents and how terrible they are. When in reality it’s something that can happen with any activity. The particular vitriol towards sports is very strange.

I think sports are targeted because they're so prevalent compared to, say, school orchestra or theater. Certainly, sports parents seem to believe their preferred activity is somehow morally superior, based on so many posts on here.

It's baffling that you seem to think sports even need to be targeted. Worry about your own life.

It's baffling to you that some people might think sports are a little too influential in American society?

If that's your beef then state that. What's all this hand waving about how siblings feel about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how they'd could be family time, but what about the siblings and what they might want? Do they have to go all the time? What if they just want to hang out with their friends or something?

Yeah, I think a lot of sporty parents have a blind spot when it comes to their non-athlete kids. They would never, for example, drag the athletic kid out to a D&D convention if that's what the non-athletic kid wanted to do on a Saturday.

I really do not understand why people think this kind of thing is specific to sports. One of my neighbors has a teenage daughter who is an amazing pianist. The youngest sibling totally gets dragged to her concerts and competitions all over the place even though that child does not play.

I know it's not sports specific, but are they thinking about the other siblings? What if they don't want to be dragged around? Don't you think they could have resentment towards the other child?

Well sure but people on this thread are trying to argue that there’s something unique about sports parents and how terrible they are. When in reality it’s something that can happen with any activity. The particular vitriol towards sports is very strange.

I think sports are targeted because they're so prevalent compared to, say, school orchestra or theater. Certainly, sports parents seem to believe their preferred activity is somehow morally superior, based on so many posts on here.

It's baffling that you seem to think sports even need to be targeted. Worry about your own life.

It's baffling to you that some people might think sports are a little too influential in American society?

America seems pretty normal as far as western countries go. At least we don't have a hooligan/ultra culture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've got one natural athlete (DD) and one not so natural athlete (DS). I pushed the non-natural athlete into a sport at the beginning and have some regrets about that but it's turned into an interesting place. Sports have brought up a lot of interesting conversations regarding commitment level, talent vs work ethic, and why he chooses to play sports (it's certainly not for winning/glory/college potential). At this point, he chooses to play his sport because it gives him a sense of satisfaction that his hard work -> better outcomes. It also allows him to get out his energy in a much more productive fashion (when he's not in sports season, a lot of that energy is focused on irritating his sister). I encouraged him to drop down to Rec multiple times but he keeps pushing to stay on his travel team. For my DD, she likes sports because she gains a lot of confidence from performing well and succeeding. She works exceptionally hard at her sports, and while she does very well at school as well, she doesn't get nearly as much recognition as she does from her sports community (other athletes in the sports, parents, coaches). Does she have college potential? Probably, but likes many others have said, you won't know for sure until 14+. But from a time commitment perspective, she looks forward to going to her sports everyday and it's how she motivates herself to get out of bed each morning. I can't imagine how anything else could be more 'letting kids be kids' then letting my kids choose their own paths.

It's interesting watching my son during non-sports season when he has time to 'just be a kid'. What we found is: 1. most other kids are highly scheduled and it's hard to get together with other kids. 2. most of his choices end up being indoor choices to do solo activities (especially reading and legos) 3. sports provide a critical social experience for him, especially since he's not an introvert. He has had to deal with some challenging social situations on his team and I'm just so thankful because he wouldn't get this social feedback any other way. So while I could let him make his own choices and likely just reading/playing with legos, I don't think anyone could argue that those are better choices for him than allowing him to plays sports for part of the year.

We do make them come to each others games and I view that time as 'letting kids be kids'. There are always other kids to play with and my kids can choose what activities they want to do. I don't care if they don't want to come to the other kids games.. to me, that's exactly what real life is like where you get put into a non-ideal situation and you have to make the best of it. My opinion is that any resentment one child feels is a reflection more on them then on me. I get that they don't want to go to the game, but they also don't want to brush their teeth, help babysit their cousins, walk the dog, go on hikes, take out the trash, etc. I have gotten criticism from non-parents for not enabling my kids to choose how they spend all their time, but my view is that I gave them a certain set of constraints and they need to figure out how to entertain themselves/succeed on their own. If they're going to be resentful of their sibling, it's not going to be only tied to attending sporting events. I promise you that they tell me they are just as bored when they are at sporting events as when they are at home.

And I'll close this off by saying that both my spouse (not really sporty and hates watching any sporting event on TV) and myself (more sporty but didn't play college sports) really enjoy going to our kids' sporting events. There are so few things that our kids do that we actually get to watch. It's great when they do well on a test or tell a story about overcoming something at school, but actually getting to watch my child overcome giant hurdles and grow over time; that's priceless. We only get so many years with our kids and I am so glad I get to drive my kids to these activities and spend time with them when they don't have other distractions (like they do when we're at home). I am so glad they are not just sitting in their room, playing video games and not interacting with other kids, which is what my DS does during non-sports seasons (within electronic time limits of course). I am so glad they are getting pushed out of their comfort zone in social situations and being asked to perform in situations that are challenging. I am so glad they are getting exposed to stressful environments, and environments where kids/parents/coaches act inappropriately so we can talk to them about how to deal with that. The worst experiences for my kids this year have all been at school (sexual harassment, bullying), so I am so thankful that sports provide an avenue to personal growth in a well managed environment. I don't care when or if they stop playing their sport of choice, but I am so glad I get to be a part of their life and see them grow. While I have no doubt other kid activities enable these kinds of experiences, I am glad sports are an important part of my children's development.

Love this post. You sound like a cool travel parent and I'm just going to assume all the travel parents on my kids' teams are like you (instead of crazy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how they'd could be family time, but what about the siblings and what they might want? Do they have to go all the time? What if they just want to hang out with their friends or something?

Yeah, I think a lot of sporty parents have a blind spot when it comes to their non-athlete kids. They would never, for example, drag the athletic kid out to a D&D convention if that's what the non-athletic kid wanted to do on a Saturday.

I dragged my travel sport athlete to the dance showcase across the country that my dance-obsessed kid attended. It wasn’t even a competition.

What I think is that your confirmation bias is huge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how they'd could be family time, but what about the siblings and what they might want? Do they have to go all the time? What if they just want to hang out with their friends or something?

Yeah, I think a lot of sporty parents have a blind spot when it comes to their non-athlete kids. They would never, for example, drag the athletic kid out to a D&D convention if that's what the non-athletic kid wanted to do on a Saturday.

I really do not understand why people think this kind of thing is specific to sports. One of my neighbors has a teenage daughter who is an amazing pianist. The youngest sibling totally gets dragged to her concerts and competitions all over the place even though that child does not play.

I know it's not sports specific, but are they thinking about the other siblings? What if they don't want to be dragged around? Don't you think they could have resentment towards the other child?

Well sure but people on this thread are trying to argue that there’s something unique about sports parents and how terrible they are. When in reality it’s something that can happen with any activity. The particular vitriol towards sports is very strange.

There are a few anti-athlete posters on DCUM who are bizarrely obsessed with athletes. Like, creepily so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how they'd could be family time, but what about the siblings and what they might want? Do they have to go all the time? What if they just want to hang out with their friends or something?

Yeah, I think a lot of sporty parents have a blind spot when it comes to their non-athlete kids. They would never, for example, drag the athletic kid out to a D&D convention if that's what the non-athletic kid wanted to do on a Saturday.

I really do not understand why people think this kind of thing is specific to sports. One of my neighbors has a teenage daughter who is an amazing pianist. The youngest sibling totally gets dragged to her concerts and competitions all over the place even though that child does not play.

I know it's not sports specific, but are they thinking about the other siblings? What if they don't want to be dragged around? Don't you think they could have resentment towards the other child?

Well sure but people on this thread are trying to argue that there’s something unique about sports parents and how terrible they are. When in reality it’s something that can happen with any activity. The particular vitriol towards sports is very strange.

I think sports are targeted because they're so prevalent compared to, say, school orchestra or theater. Certainly, sports parents seem to believe their preferred activity is somehow morally superior, based on so many posts on here.

It's baffling that you seem to think sports even need to be targeted. Worry about your own life.

It's baffling to you that some people might think sports are a little too influential in American society?

More than “a little too influential;” sports are extremely influential. And harmful.

Equity in our society is harmed by the sports policies of cutting players, based merely on perceived ability.

And these are children we are discussing. What message does this send to our children ??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how they'd could be family time, but what about the siblings and what they might want? Do they have to go all the time? What if they just want to hang out with their friends or something?

Yeah, I think a lot of sporty parents have a blind spot when it comes to their non-athlete kids. They would never, for example, drag the athletic kid out to a D&D convention if that's what the non-athletic kid wanted to do on a Saturday.

I really do not understand why people think this kind of thing is specific to sports. One of my neighbors has a teenage daughter who is an amazing pianist. The youngest sibling totally gets dragged to her concerts and competitions all over the place even though that child does not play.

I know it's not sports specific, but are they thinking about the other siblings? What if they don't want to be dragged around? Don't you think they could have resentment towards the other child?

Well sure but people on this thread are trying to argue that there’s something unique about sports parents and how terrible they are. When in reality it’s something that can happen with any activity. The particular vitriol towards sports is very strange.

I think sports are targeted because they're so prevalent compared to, say, school orchestra or theater. Certainly, sports parents seem to believe their preferred activity is somehow morally superior, based on so many posts on here.

It's baffling that you seem to think sports even need to be targeted. Worry about your own life.

It's baffling to you that some people might think sports are a little too influential in American society?

More than “a little too influential;” sports are extremely influential. And harmful.

Equity in our society is harmed by the sports policies of cutting players, based merely on perceived ability.

And these are children we are discussing. What message does this send to our children ??

This is a joke, right???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Equity in our society is harmed by the sports policies of cutting players, based merely on perceived ability.

And these are children we are discussing. What message does this send to our children ??

That life is neither fair nor just - an incredibly valuable lesson.

Sports are a mix of meritocracy (don't kid yourself, the .1% potential kids will rise to the top) and the usual stew of luck, opportunity, potential, talent and hard work.