Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
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Anonymous
I don't know how many folks are writing these, but I hope some of you are writing professionally/seriously. Some of these are so very generous as well as hysterical. Also, I hope that I meet you on the playground someday, and since it's after 4 we each pull a cocktail out of our makeshift kid bags, do the secret handshake, bypass mom dating, and become fast friends. |
Anonymous
| Twins Sarah and Sophia |
Anonymous
You thought you didn't ever want children, and then at 37 you accidentally got pregnant but it ended in a miscarriage. You were devastated and then you and your husband decided you needed to have children. For the next 3 years, you visited reproductive endocrinologists, did IVF and finally, just before your 41st birthday, you had your girls. You chose the name Sarah after a dear aunt who passed away some years before. Your husband chose Sophia because of a crush he has always had on Sophia Loren. You quit your job as a lawyer and stay home with the girls. You are surprised at how much you love it and your former coworkers don't really believe it. Your husband is an involved dad who is absolutely smitten with the girls. You are deciding on where to send them to kindergarten now and can't decide if you should keep them in the same class or split them up. |
Anonymous
We could skip the mom dating but I would still have to write your backstory |
Anonymous
You were one of 5 Jennifers in your first grade class at St Asaph school in Altoona, PA. The priest who baptized each of you insisted that Jennifer was not a proper saint's name and made your parents use a saints name as your middle name. You were Jennifer Elizabeth, and the other Jennifers had middle names of Mary, Margaret, Martha (you all felt sorry for her) and Ann To keep you straight you were each called by your middle names. Just before high school your parents moved to Chicago where you attended a very snooty prep school and were referred to by your last name with the title Miss preceding it. Finally your classmates and friends could call you Jennifer and your name came into its own. You returned to Pennsylvania to attend Penn State and majored in music education. Some of your fellow students formed a rock band you named "the Jennifer's" -- there were so many of you in the band Although raised in a normal Lutheran family near St Paul, your husband was a fifth son and the small supply of family names was exhausted by his birth. His mother (who you adore for her no nonsense attitude) chose the name Christopher Michael after reading a list of popular male names in "Redbook" -- despite the changes she loves the magazine and your give her a subscription each year for her birthday. In college your husband tried to distinguish himself from the crowd of Christopher's by adopting the nickname "Topher." Unfortunately he was also a swimmer and many rude comments were made about his nickname, so he became another 'Chris." When you were pregnant with your first child, you studied lists of popular baby names to not burden your child with a too common name. You wanted an Irish name because your favorite nun from elementary school was Irish. Having already married in the church and agreeing to raise your children as Catholic, your husband agreed. In fact he came upon the name "Lochlan," insisting it was as Irish as Patty's pig. How could you not have many children with this sweet man? A recessive gene brought forth blue eyed, red headed Lochlan, whose name you would later learn from reading "Redbook" at your MIL's home, had its roots in the same Vikings who invaded Ireland from Norway, your DH's ancestral home Aveline was a bit more difficult. You wanted her to be Maeve after your erudite mother confessed that Maeve Binchley was her favorite author. An au pair who worked for the absentee parents across then cul de sac suggested Aveline because it was her English grandmother's name. Your DH was concerned about memories of the English/Irish conflicts haunting your children!s names but by then all the moms in Lochlan's two play groups had pronounced it a perfect name. Blue eyed, but blonde, Aveline looked like an an English rose and became Aveline Rose Now at five and seven years old you are haunted by your husband's warning of English/Irish conflict as Lochlan and Aveline bicker constantly. You wonder why you became pregnant with number 3 but there is that sweet husband thing Your darling boy Kieran is now three and you love how his thick black hair contrasts with his milky blue eyes. He has your DH's practical nature and has become the peacemaker between Lochlan and Aveline. He coaxes them to share the little screen time you allow and to play fair when outdoors. In fact you swear his first words were "don't push." When your MIL visited at Easter, you read an article in "Redbook" about fourth babies. But here could be a Maeve in your future |
Anonymous
| I would like to contribute life stories to this thread but I simply cannot compare to the wit and humor of the PP (PPs?) posting these stories. Hilarious! |
Anonymous
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Grace
Caroline Henry |
Anonymous
You grew up in Connecticut and were an only child. Your dad was a dentist and your mom was a teacher. They wanted more children but couldn't have any more, so they doted on you. When you met your husband in college, you knew he was the one for you when he said that he wanted 3 kids. You were married the fall after college graduation and moved to New York so that he could start his job in finance. You worked for a few years, but really wanted to have kids right away. When you became pregnant, he wasn't thrilled because you were both so young, but you were gleeful. Soon after, babies two and three were born. The first five years were hard in your marriage, but things are much easier now that Henry is 7. Your husband was thrilled he was a boy and Henry adores him. You worry about Caroline, as she is the middle child and doesn't do well in school. You blame yourself because you two are so different and you have little in common with her. Thankfully, she is stunningly beautiful and is able to charm people easily. Grace is just like you- quiet and reserved, with a plain but pretty face. She excels at school and is in the gifted program. A while back, you thought about finding a fulltime job now they Henry is in second grade, but you don't know where to start. Instead, you volunteer with the PTA and are thinking of having another baby. Your husband is very against this, but you have become somewhat obsessed with it and feel that it is now or never since you are now 37. You have contemplated "accidentally" getting pregnant, just like you did with Grace. But, you fear that it might kill your marriage. |
Anonymous
| Palmer and Evelyn |
Anonymous
Bump |
Anonymous
Hi! Different poster here but as the author of this particular story, I thank you for the kind words! I would love to meet you and gain another cool mom friend but unfortunately I am not local. But thanks again for making my day! |
Anonymous
| Maria |
Anonymous
Sawyer is 4 and Amelia is 1. After living years in DC and working as a photojournalist abroad, you are now safely ensconced in a rowhouse on H St that you bought years ago when you were living out of a suitcase and you rented it to Gtown Law students. Your family is relieved, but you are itching to get back on the road. Sawyer is shy and perceptive like his father, who was the reason you gave up the renegade expat life. Amelia is all you-- ready to take on the world. It's completely exhausting, and you sometimes wonder if having a second nailed the coffin as to becoming a domesticated 30-something whose last flirtation with the 3rd world involved a dicey taco stand. Your husband wants to sell the rowhouse and move to Montgomery County, but at this point, it's over your dead body. Eventually, you will move to Silver Spring, and you will like it. Much to your surprise. |
Anonymous
You had waited for eons for the new Italian Store to open in Arlington's Westover Village. It wasn't really the reason you bought that cute colonial in Lacey Forest, but when you heard that the store was going in, your heart sang. You are a Connecticut girl, and not rich Greenwich, but working class out of Bridgeport. Your paternal Nonna came to your duplex every Sunday after mass to make gravy, gnocchi and whatever type of ravioli your Poppa wanted that week. Your three brothers and two male cousins wanted nothing to do with Nonna because they said she smelled funny (which she did) because she drank absinthe to relieve her arthritis. Your Momma was a choir director and was never home on Sunday. She worked at three different churches, including the new Unitarian church where your poppa and uncles did the brick work -- and the plumbing on the side. The Unitarians didn't care who did the work, just as long as it was open before their big rally on Earth Day. This was just as well as your Momma and Nonna did not see eye to eye. Actually not many people saw eye to eye with Nonna but you were a firm believer in Judy Blume books and wanted everyone to like you. So from the age of 8 you tried to help Nonna on Sunday. She was bossy and would give you the evil eye if you didn't peel the skins from the hot tomatoes correctly or let any flour fall on the floor. But you learned how to make a mean tomato gravy that got you every boyfriend you ever had, including your DH. Despite Nonna's telling you that you had small tits and would never find a man with your skinny butt, you were married exactly three years from the day you served homemade pappardelle to your DH--- who is from Greenwich. Flash forward four more years, and you are both nicely settled in well paying jobs, living a good life in Arlington and pregnant with your first child. The night the Westover Italian Store opened your husband walked your nine months pregnant self into the store and two minutes later, you received a call from your Poppa saying Nonna had died. You couldn't cry, you couldn't do anything as you stood in a puddle and realized your water had broken. Your DH got you to nearby Virginia Hospital Center where your baby was born the next morning. How could you not name her after your Nonna -- Maria -- so you did. |
Anonymous
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DD Rebecca
DS Jacob (Both born in the mid-90s if that changes things!) |