SSFS Will Stay Open

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm - I’m a SSFS parent and am appreciating people’s comments and advice. What the Friends Coalition has done with raising money is truly remarkable and made me marvel at our community. But our family is not sure what we are going to do, and the SSFS slack channels are full now of boosters who are desperate to retain as many families as possible. So every comment expressing concern or doubt gets jumped on and it’s getting pretty hard to have open dialogue about the unresolved worries people have. We are feeling pretty alone and unable to talk about our next steps.

I’m very happy for your family that you have more options to choose from versus a few days ago. What the Friends Coalition has achieved is truly impressive. However, ask yourself how you would feel if the current plan fell through and you have to explain to your child why you didn’t explore all other options.

Or ask yourself how you will feel if SSFS survives well and you have to explain to your child why you moved them from a school they loved and perhaps from friends they loved?

You can be very happy for SSFS if it survives especially if you’ve moved on. You tell your kid that SSFS’ future was uncertain when you made your decision and you did what you thought was best for your family.

For the people on here who want advice - does that help you? Of course it doesn't because it lacks the personal context of what only you know about your kids and their thought processes, about your finances, about why you chose SSFS in the first place, about your emotions regarding how SSFS has and is handling things, about your kids relationships with their classmates, perhaps about the other schools you may have looked at over the last 2 weeks, and on and on and on. If we're going to offer advice then my advice is to find ways to have actual conversations with folks you know are actual parents at SSFS who are wrestling with these difficult decisions and worries. In conversation with others who you know are going through the same difficult process you can talk about all the nuances of the decision before you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re a current SSFS family and we are following through with our applications and will see what happens. We don’t get a sense of urgency from the school in addressing the board and financial issues. What they provided in the FAQS so far seems to be okay with a lot of families but not ours. Too much money and too big of a risk to be fooled again.

I’m sorry your family is going through this. I genuinely hope you will find a place your child will be happy and thrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm - I’m a SSFS parent and am appreciating people’s comments and advice. What the Friends Coalition has done with raising money is truly remarkable and made me marvel at our community. But our family is not sure what we are going to do, and the SSFS slack channels are full now of boosters who are desperate to retain as many families as possible. So every comment expressing concern or doubt gets jumped on and it’s getting pretty hard to have open dialogue about the unresolved worries people have. We are feeling pretty alone and unable to talk about our next steps.

I’m very happy for your family that you have more options to choose from versus a few days ago. What the Friends Coalition has achieved is truly impressive. However, ask yourself how you would feel if the current plan fell through and you have to explain to your child why you didn’t explore all other options.

Or ask yourself how you will feel if SSFS survives well and you have to explain to your child why you moved them from a school they loved and perhaps from friends they loved?

This is exactly the kind of pressure I was referring to. Rather than validating the very real situation that is leading people to think about moving our kids, this guilting is pretty stifling. It’s having the opposite of its intended effect.

How is this question any more guilt inducing than the question to Ask yourself how you'll feel if you have to explain your child why you didn't move? I don't see how either question is helpful particularly as they appear as one offs in an anonymous forum. The situation we are all in IS real and it IS leading people to thinking about moving. The whole situation stinks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm - I’m a SSFS parent and am appreciating people’s comments and advice. What the Friends Coalition has done with raising money is truly remarkable and made me marvel at our community. But our family is not sure what we are going to do, and the SSFS slack channels are full now of boosters who are desperate to retain as many families as possible. So every comment expressing concern or doubt gets jumped on and it’s getting pretty hard to have open dialogue about the unresolved worries people have. We are feeling pretty alone and unable to talk about our next steps.

I’m very happy for your family that you have more options to choose from versus a few days ago. What the Friends Coalition has achieved is truly impressive. However, ask yourself how you would feel if the current plan fell through and you have to explain to your child why you didn’t explore all other options.

Or ask yourself how you will feel if SSFS survives well and you have to explain to your child why you moved them from a school they loved and perhaps from friends they loved?

You can be very happy for SSFS if it survives especially if you’ve moved on. You tell your kid that SSFS’ future was uncertain when you made your decision and you did what you thought was best for your family.

For the people on here who want advice - does that help you? Of course it doesn't because it lacks the personal context of what only you know about your kids and their thought processes, about your finances, about why you chose SSFS in the first place, about your emotions regarding how SSFS has and is handling things, about your kids relationships with their classmates, perhaps about the other schools you may have looked at over the last 2 weeks, and on and on and on. If we're going to offer advice then my advice is to find ways to have actual conversations with folks you know are actual parents at SSFS who are wrestling with these difficult decisions and worries. In conversation with others who you know are going through the same difficult process you can talk about all the nuances of the decision before you.

You are exactly why some parents want to come here for advice. They don’t want to be guilted into staying. They don’t want to be judged or brow beaten for asking unpopular questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm - I’m a SSFS parent and am appreciating people’s comments and advice. What the Friends Coalition has done with raising money is truly remarkable and made me marvel at our community. But our family is not sure what we are going to do, and the SSFS slack channels are full now of boosters who are desperate to retain as many families as possible. So every comment expressing concern or doubt gets jumped on and it’s getting pretty hard to have open dialogue about the unresolved worries people have. We are feeling pretty alone and unable to talk about our next steps.

I’m very happy for your family that you have more options to choose from versus a few days ago. What the Friends Coalition has achieved is truly impressive. However, ask yourself how you would feel if the current plan fell through and you have to explain to your child why you didn’t explore all other options.

Or ask yourself how you will feel if SSFS survives well and you have to explain to your child why you moved them from a school they loved and perhaps from friends they loved?

You can be very happy for SSFS if it survives especially if you’ve moved on. You tell your kid that SSFS’ future was uncertain when you made your decision and you did what you thought was best for your family.

For the people on here who want advice - does that help you? Of course it doesn't because it lacks the personal context of what only you know about your kids and their thought processes, about your finances, about why you chose SSFS in the first place, about your emotions regarding how SSFS has and is handling things, about your kids relationships with their classmates, perhaps about the other schools you may have looked at over the last 2 weeks, and on and on and on. If we're going to offer advice then my advice is to find ways to have actual conversations with folks you know are actual parents at SSFS who are wrestling with these difficult decisions and worries. In conversation with others who you know are going through the same difficult process you can talk about all the nuances of the decision before you.

You are exactly why some parents want to come here for advice. They don’t want to be guilted into staying. They don’t want to be judged or brow beaten for asking unpopular questions.

I'm not sure how you reached this interpretation since we are also a family wrestling with leaving. I can hardly attempt to make someone feel guilty about something that I may choose for my own family - which is to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re a current SSFS family and we are following through with our applications and will see what happens. We don’t get a sense of urgency from the school in addressing the board and financial issues. What they provided in the FAQS so far seems to be okay with a lot of families but not ours. Too much money and too big of a risk to be fooled again.

I feel for you. This is hard!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm - I’m a SSFS parent and am appreciating people’s comments and advice. What the Friends Coalition has done with raising money is truly remarkable and made me marvel at our community. But our family is not sure what we are going to do, and the SSFS slack channels are full now of boosters who are desperate to retain as many families as possible. So every comment expressing concern or doubt gets jumped on and it’s getting pretty hard to have open dialogue about the unresolved worries people have. We are feeling pretty alone and unable to talk about our next steps.

I’m very happy for your family that you have more options to choose from versus a few days ago. What the Friends Coalition has achieved is truly impressive. However, ask yourself how you would feel if the current plan fell through and you have to explain to your child why you didn’t explore all other options.

Or ask yourself how you will feel if SSFS survives well and you have to explain to your child why you moved them from a school they loved and perhaps from friends they loved?

I did this last year with my DC. I saw the writing on the wall and knew the BOT was playing a negative role. I explained that some times schools/organizations/companies can be toxic and not the best place for us to grow. (Up until two weeks ago DC was still getting texts from friends saying they should come back).

DC survived and very happy at new school. We tried not to focus on comparing schools during our search but tried to look at each school for its own context strengths and challenges.

It’s important to teach kids that they are the “magic” wherever they go. No place/school is more important than them and they can make new friends as well as maintain positive relationships. We definitely learned it feels harder than it actually is.

Hoping SSFS turns itself around, however, whether or not it survives the kids can get through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm - I’m a SSFS parent and am appreciating people’s comments and advice. What the Friends Coalition has done with raising money is truly remarkable and made me marvel at our community. But our family is not sure what we are going to do, and the SSFS slack channels are full now of boosters who are desperate to retain as many families as possible. So every comment expressing concern or doubt gets jumped on and it’s getting pretty hard to have open dialogue about the unresolved worries people have. We are feeling pretty alone and unable to talk about our next steps.

I’m very happy for your family that you have more options to choose from versus a few days ago. What the Friends Coalition has achieved is truly impressive. However, ask yourself how you would feel if the current plan fell through and you have to explain to your child why you didn’t explore all other options.

Or ask yourself how you will feel if SSFS survives well and you have to explain to your child why you moved them from a school they loved and perhaps from friends they loved?

You can be very happy for SSFS if it survives especially if you’ve moved on. You tell your kid that SSFS’ future was uncertain when you made your decision and you did what you thought was best for your family.

For the people on here who want advice - does that help you? Of course it doesn't because it lacks the personal context of what only you know about your kids and their thought processes, about your finances, about why you chose SSFS in the first place, about your emotions regarding how SSFS has and is handling things, about your kids relationships with their classmates, perhaps about the other schools you may have looked at over the last 2 weeks, and on and on and on. If we're going to offer advice then my advice is to find ways to have actual conversations with folks you know are actual parents at SSFS who are wrestling with these difficult decisions and worries. In conversation with others who you know are going through the same difficult process you can talk about all the nuances of the decision before you.

And this is why I appreciate this anonymous forum. The SSFS community has fractured into boosters and those who are quietly exploring other options. I don’t want to be pressured into making a decision. I’m going to do what’s best for my family, and it makes me feel better to see others here who feel the same. Negatiive or not, I appreciate all perspectives both within Ssfs and the wider community.

[Anonymous]

Talking to “real” people actually isn’t better in this situation. People are more likely to say what they actually think here where there is no fear of attack if your opinion isn’t the popular one.

It’s impossible to ask the opinion of anyone remotely connected to the coalition. They project that there is no risk and the school is guaranteed to stay open. Yet that is clearly not known. How can the coalition possibly say it will stay open if - for example - only 100 kids re enroll in 26-27? But they’ll never be honest about the doubts! The coalition was started by alums who face fond memories, but no kids in the school so no real risk if things fail. So they can take it as far as it goes but then be ok if it doesn’t work out. In my experience anyone you talk to in a room says it’s going to be great. But if you manage to pull someone aside they’ll say they’re still looking at options. The pressure to only say positive things is really strong. That’s why I absolutely value the forum.

[Anonymous]

We’re an upper school family also debating whether to re enroll. DC really wants to stay but we have concerns because nothing has really been addressed. Will there be the same class offerings or sports or theater etc? It’s hard to not continue applying to other schools, if I do not have answers as to whether there will be what my DC needs for the next 2 years. Right now, all we have heard is re enroll and trust us kind of vibe. How can we trust a school that 2 weeks ago made us start scrambling for a new school. We never would have even considered a new school at all and were planning on staying the rest of high school, now it depends on what will remain of the school.

[Anonymous]

It’s a difficult situation. For what it’s worth, i don’t get the impression at all that families who are staying are intending to pressure anyone else-it’s of course completely understandable (and also very reasonable to be angry about it.)

Yes, the kids and families will be badly missed but I don’t know anyone who thinks anyone “should” be making any particular decision. Best of luck to all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a difficult situation. For what it’s worth, i don’t get the impression at all that families who are staying are intending to pressure anyone else-it’s of course completely understandable (and also very reasonable to be angry about it.)

Yes, the kids and families will be badly missed but I don’t know anyone who thinks anyone “should” be making any particular decision. Best of luck to all!

We're a family who is staying (although I think the calculus for an 11th grader, like we have, is different from every other class). I actually think it's good for families who aren't 100% sure about staying to explore their options. In our case, we had a week to think about what other options there were, and while we hit on one that would have worked, it was far from ideal. Others may look and find a place that is a better fit, and others may look and decide that SSFS is still the right choice.

In terms of answers, I do think that the school has been more responsive this past week than maybe ever before in our time there. Knowing the leadership team is in place is great, and it seems like the school is actually making an effort to address concerns. They said we'll hear more tomorrow, so we'll see what comes of that communication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talking to “real” people actually isn’t better in this situation. People are more likely to say what they actually think here where there is no fear of attack if your opinion isn’t the popular one.

It’s impossible to ask the opinion of anyone remotely connected to the coalition. They project that there is no risk and the school is guaranteed to stay open. Yet that is clearly not known. How can the coalition possibly say it will stay open if - for example - only 100 kids re enroll in 26-27? But they’ll never be honest about the doubts! The coalition was started by alums who face fond memories, but no kids in the school so no real risk if things fail. So they can take it as far as it goes but then be ok if it doesn’t work out. In my experience anyone you talk to in a room says it’s going to be great. But if you manage to pull someone aside they’ll say they’re still looking at options. The pressure to only say positive things is really strong. That’s why I absolutely value the forum.

It's merely your opinion that talking to real people isn't better in this situation. Some may agree with that opinion but others do not.

Also, yes, the coalition was started by alumni. However, if you visit the coalition website you will see that the leadership of 10 people includes 6 parents. So the leaders of this coalition DO have kids in the school which means they are just as much at risk as the rest of us. This is not pressure to say positive things - this is pressure to say factual things. There's still plenty of negatives to say.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure if this would be possible, but I'd feel more comfortable sending my child if the school would sign contracts with teachers, and announce which teachers are returning. Then, with the data on teachers, I'd hope potential returning families would feel more comfortable signing contracts... and as contracts are signed, I'd hope the school would make those numbers available, to give others an estimate of peers they can expect for their child in each grade. These are the minimum data points I would need to continue with SSFS for just one more year, and hope that they demonstrate competency in other areas over the course of the year (to give me confidence to sign on for future years). The problem right now is the school and coalition are asking a lot of families on blind faith.

[Anonymous]

I'm fascinated by how little most families seem to need to recommit to the school. The leadership has literally given us zero information that is tangible - enrollment assumptions for financial viability, amount of debt, what kind of debt restructuring they are hoping for (because clearly that will take some time to accomplish), will the donation pay off the loan totally that was ballooning, etc.

They could at least tell us on 4/14, before they sent the email closing the school, what was the grade size of each of the grades. There were 615 kids in 2024-2025 - how many did they have 4/13 for 2025-2026 that made them think the school couldn't survive?

Maybe if your kid is in elementary school, none of this matters and you have a spare $40K to roll the dice. For our family, they have two weeks to get this information in front of us. For sure, much of what I mention above is not protected with the NDAs people keep talking about.