Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!

[Anonymous]

Natalie Elise. (Just goes by her first name....and only have one kid)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Samira

You were in the Peace Corps in Uzbekistan during 2005 and 2006 and dated a Moroccan doctor from Doctors Without Borders. He had a Bosnian driver who had been a mercenary in Afghanistan but was in an IEP explosion and saved by anAlgerian mercenary who brought him to Uzbekistan. At night the Bosnian, named Aziz, would sing of his wife, Samera, who he could not locate. All of you fell into singing along with him his plaintive plea for her return

When you returned to the States you went to grad school and now run a small nonprofit who provides weekend meals for poor children across the country. One day you were visiting a center in Detroit and met an older Bosnian woman named Semira. You asked a little bit about her but was told she spoke only to the children at the center. On the flight home you were nauseous and feverish and suffered a severe flu like illness for seven days. When you went back to your doctor, she asked if you could be pregnant noting when she checked your lymph nodes that your breasts seemed swollen

You were unexpectedly pregnant with your long time partner and both of you were overjoyed with the news. You decided after a long delivery to Na,e the baby Semira, but a mistake was made on the birth certificate and the name appeared as Samira. That was fine with you and your child is now a healthy happy five year old who sings and loves children.

Best one yet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shasta

Born at home in Hawaii, no midwife.

[Anonymous]

Etogen

Arkady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gram (Ingram)

Bump.

I will now also contribute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gram (Ingram)

Bump.

I will now also contribute.

Hilarious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jonah

Jonah is nine. He is curious, intense, and sometimes scares you with his preceptive abilities. You and DH are both Jewish, but rarely attend services except for significant holidays and the Bar Mitzvahs of other family and friends' children. Yet, you find great comfort in the community and wonder about whether or not Jonah should also become a Bar Mitzvah.

You had Jonah in your late 30's. You thought about another but work and family demands decided for you you are still somewhat conflicted about his only child status, but have mostly made your peace about it. You and DH both went to east coast liberal arts schools, and met on a different east coast city. His family brought you back to D.C. You are a psychologist and DH is an attorney. You live in Silver Spring. Jonah tends more towards intellectual pursuits and has an active imagination. He has one or two good friends. He will one day be a solid runner on the Cross Country team. He is sensitive and kind, and is deeply connected to the family dog, Maggie, a border Collie/Lab Mix from the local shelter. Your family is solid and loving. You occasionally pine for more adventure, as does DH, but in the end, you know life is pretty sweet.

[Anonymous]

Burritofarta

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Theodore, nickname Theo.


Bump.


You live in a condo by Van Ness, with a open floor plan, lofted ceilings, exposed brick and a ridiculous spiral stair case that you bought three years ago when trying to conceive. At the time, you thought it was ideal - reflected your hip, urban life-style that you were determined to maintain once little Theo joined the fray. Your husband tried to talk you into something more practical, but you convinced him the condo was a winner with vivid descriptions of how your shaggy haired little boy would have the world at his fingertips and would scooter along as you joined friends for happy hours at your favorite spots. Well, Theo is now 18 months, and your sunny vision is crumbling. You and DH are hardly speaking after that last argument over who was going to lug all the laundry up that spiral staircase, and you've put off TTC baby #2 until you can figure out a way to move. Theo is adorable, but still mostly bald.


Not the mother of Theo, and I think this is hilarious, but this does not describe Van Ness. Logan? Columbia Heights maybe. Van Ness is full of non-descript apartment buildings.

Fair enough - can't say I know Van Ness, but it was a reference to a real estate link someone posted a couple days ago asking if they could live there with kids. Before fleeing to suburbia though, I did spend a number of years in Columbia Heights

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gram (Ingram)

Bump.

I will now also contribute.

Hilarious!

PP. Yes. I assume a lot of us want a good story without the work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Shasta


Born at home in Hawaii, no midwife.

Yes, and you selected her name after thumbing through and Arc-teryx catolog, looking for inspiration. You're originally from New Jersey, but met Shasta's father in your early twenties, when you were both ski bums in Colorado. Shasta has long stringy blond hair, an adorable gap-toothed smile, and is most often shirt-less wearing boys swim trunks.

[Anonymous]

Two DD's, Paisley and Paige.

[Anonymous]

Ida and Jacob

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Shasta


Born at home in Hawaii, no midwife.

Yes, and you selected her name after thumbing through and Arc-teryx catolog, looking for inspiration. You're originally from New Jersey, but met Shasta's father in your early twenties, when you were both ski bums in Colorado. Shasta has long stringy blond hair, an adorable gap-toothed smile, and is most often shirt-less wearing boys swim trunks.

Actually, I think she just really liked the soda brand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gram (Ingram)

Bump.

I will now also contribute.

You married later than most and were in no hurry to have children. As a result, you are generally the oldest parents of his grade. However good genetics and a good lifestyle have made you young for your years and no one would guess either of your real ages without asking. You and DH are English professors with tenure and so you have the time to are able to give him an idyllic childhood full of museum trips and visits to the national parks. You spent last summer visiting all the old Civil War battlefields with Gram. Gram was particuarly excited to get a replica Union uniform complete with replica sword and musket.

Gram is a sweet boy who loves Pokemon and legos. He generally doesn't follow the Lego kit instructions, instead he likes to build amazingly creative structures of his own creation. Initially he is interested in science, but his biology teacher's cheesy jokes about Gram negative and Gram positive bacteria turns him off a STEM career. Because of your architect brother-in-law, Gram becomes a big fan of Frank Lloyd Wright. As a result, he is the only child you know who wishes to visit Wisconsin over spring break.

Ultimately he will become an architect specializing in suspension bridge design, and will find love with a very attractive, dark haired, kindergarten teacher. They will have children extremely early in life and so will choose to move near you for free babysitting help. You won't mind as their children will be exceptionally well behaved on account of your DIL's teacher skills.