accepting your workaholic husband - bberry addiction?

[Anonymous]

I don't know what else to do -- I think it's accept or leave at this point.
CONS:
- is on the bberry CONSTANTLY. And i mean constantly. During any conversation, about anything, he is reading or typing. If you ask him to put it down, he says he's "listening."
- works all the time. Makes bedtime occasionally -- for 10 minutes, tells the kids goodnight, goes back to computer.
- comes to family events if cajoled, but on bberry entire time
- plays with kids -- legos, etc, while typing on bberry.

PROS:
- we're rich. I can buy whatever the f I want.
- i can't think of any other pros.

And yes, he reads and types while driving. I'm so embarrassed about that that it actually feels good to "confess" it, even if on this forum.
Someone please tell me what to do.
I also work and make a good salary (six figures, but still a fraction of what he makes.)
YES, I have talked. Begged. Pleaded. tried counseling. Tried going about my business as a single mom and pretended he wasn't there. (That actually went ok. But of course I have a nanny and lots of other help. If I was an actual single mom, I guess I wouldn't have all that, because I couldn't afford it on my salary.)

[Anonymous]

Whatever. It is what it is.

This is America. If you were working even harder you wouldn't even notice, because you would be on your bb the whole time yourself.

[Anonymous]

Go to therapy with him a'la Ari Gold from Entourage. Tell him his children will have one memory of him - HIM ON HIS BLACKBERRY.

And WOW. JUST WOW.

I'd accidentally drop it in the toilet or step on it. Give him a few hours without it, it really does become an addiction. I'm not sure what it is your husband does, but unless he's trafficking heroin I seriously doubt you are rich and can buy whatever the "F" you want just because of your husband's constant face time with the blackberry.

[Anonymous]

What do you do for him? Cooking? Laundry? Sex? Fill in the blank? Stop doing it until he gives some BB-free time. He's addicted and you can't make him quit entirely but it seems to me that you could get to a compromise -- dinner, 1/2 kid time after dinner, and bedtime is BB free. And you won't nag/beg at any other time.

[Anonymous]

I cured my husband's constant Droid addiction with blowjobs. It might seem counterintuitive but it made him stop typing and subconsciously ingrained in him that good things happen when he puts the phone down.

Fight fire with fire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cured my husband's constant Droid addiction with blowjobs. It might seem counterintuitive but it made him stop typing and subconsciously ingrained in him that good things happen when he puts the phone down.

Fight fire with fire.

The two ball cure all.

[Anonymous]

I think we have the same husband. Except mine has 2 BBs! And we're far from rich. I probably would be more forgiving if at least what he does is important - or brought in more money. I do absolutely everything at home, work 35 hrs. week and completely care for the kids.

Life sucks. But sameday we'll be gone. And he probably won't notice.

[Anonymous]

This is my husband! Except we are still poor, which makes it all the more infuriating. So, no advice here! But good luck!

[Anonymous]

Mine does this and I don't mine because it equals $. And if it's really important I'll say something and he stops.

[Anonymous]

*mind

[Anonymous]

go camping in northern canada?

[Anonymous]

We're in a similar situation, in that I accept that my DH's job puts demands on me too because it benefits all of us. But the question is, does he really need to be on the BB constantly in order to do his job? I know what his answer would be, of course, but I doubt it's true. Almost every job has times when things are "heating up" and when they're not. If your DH is using work as an excuse not to engage, I think that is a problem and I agree that counseling is a good option.

[Anonymous]

I could have written this post myself. In reality though I am okay with it and happy that he is driven to make a better life than he grew up with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're in a similar situation, in that I accept that my DH's job puts demands on me too because it benefits all of us. But the question is, does he really need to be on the BB constantly in order to do his job? I know what his answer would be, of course, but I doubt it's true. Almost every job has times when things are "heating up" and when they're not. If your DH is using work as an excuse not to engage, I think that is a problem and I agree that counseling is a good option.

Amen. Two blackberry family here. In many ways, my husband benefits from the fact that we are in the same field. It gets him a lot of slack from me except for in one thing - I throw a little fit whenever he looks at the blackberry while talking to me and the kids. He can wait five minutes. I know he is busy, but even during excessively crazy times, you can spare five minutes for your spouse or your kids. We also set up a standing call every work day at a aprticular time. I told him he had to be prepared to talk to me and couldn't read e-mail the whole time at that time every day.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree that DH can wait five minutes to read the blackberry while you're talking to him. However, I myself have a job that requires constant attention to the blackberry during certain times of the year. In fact, if I had this job about ten years ago, I would have been stuck in the office until all hours of the night for weeks at a time. I'm actually very glad that blackberries exist, as it allows me to go home and have dinner with my family and put my kids to bed. However, the price is that I do HAVE to look at it when it goes off. Sometimes whatever it is can wait, and sometimes not. For example, the news cycle is truly 24 hours now. It used to be that anything after about 4:00 p.m. could wait because it was after deadline. Now, articles are posted at all times of the day and night.

When my husband complains, I offer to quit my job.