accepting your workaholic husband - bberry addiction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cured my husband's constant Droid addiction with blowjobs. It might seem counterintuitive but it made him stop typing and subconsciously ingrained in him that good things happen when he puts the phone down.

Fight fire with fire.

I think you are a dude trying to get more blowjobs.

[Anonymous]

Most people do not have jobs that require them to be on the BB as much as they are. People think they are that important and that the things being sent to it are that critical. But they are not. People are addicted to the constant new stream of messages coming into it.

He may say that he needs to be on it 24/7, but that's a lie. It's sad how addictive smart phones have become.

[Anonymous]

Would you put up with alcohilish or drug addiction? No matter the addicion, you and your children are on the losing end. Ask yourself if the material things mean more to you than being a whole and complete family.

[Anonymous]

PP - no, they don't. I would trade the money for a good husband in a SECOND. But no one is giving me that choice.
Given the choices I DO have, I have no idea what to do. I could leave him, but is that best for the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people do not have jobs that require them to be on the BB as much as they are. People think they are that important and that the things being sent to it are that critical. But they are not. People are addicted to the constant new stream of messages coming into it.

He may say that he needs to be on it 24/7, but that's a lie. It's sad how addictive smart phones have become.

There are some people who are just addicted, but there are lots of people in this town who do need to be constantly looking at their blackberry. They may not BE President or a Cabinet Officer or a Senator, but all of those people have people who work for them who are expected to be on call pretty much 24/7. Congress is often in session and/or negotiating at all hours, so anyone who is in a connected business (lawyers/lobbyists) also need to be aware if what's going on and reachable at any time. Clients of big law firms pay big bucks and, in return, expect to be able to reach their lawyer at any time.

Just because you are unimportant, it doesn't mean everyone is. It does bug me, however, when SAHM's live the good life because of their DH's high-powered job, and then spend all their time whining about how hard he works. If you're willing to move to a condo and take the kids out of private school and sell the house on the Outer Banks, then by all means, have that discussion with him. But most people who make that kind of money have enough pressure on them. They don't need you making them feel like a failure because they can't be a superstar at work and at home. Keep it up and he'll find someone who does appreciate him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people do not have jobs that require them to be on the BB as much as they are. People think they are that important and that the things being sent to it are that critical. But they are not. People are addicted to the constant new stream of messages coming into it.

He may say that he needs to be on it 24/7, but that's a lie. It's sad how addictive smart phones have become.

There are some people who are just addicted, but there are lots of people in this town who do need to be constantly looking at their blackberry. They may not BE President or a Cabinet Officer or a Senator, but all of those people have people who work for them who are expected to be on call pretty much 24/7. Congress is often in session and/or negotiating at all hours, so anyone who is in a connected business (lawyers/lobbyists) also need to be aware if what's going on and reachable at any time. Clients of big law firms pay big bucks and, in return, expect to be able to reach their lawyer at any time.

Just because you are unimportant, it doesn't mean everyone is. It does bug me, however, when SAHM's live the good life because of their DH's high-powered job, and then spend all their time whining about how hard he works. If you're willing to move to a condo and take the kids out of private school and sell the house on the Outer Banks, then by all means, have that discussion with him. But most people who make that kind of money have enough pressure on them. They don't need you making them feel like a failure because they can't be a superstar at work and at home. Keep it up and he'll find someone who does appreciate him.

BS - As a partner at a large law firm I can tell you I was able to avoid reading every email as soon as it came into my phone. It is pretty simple to be unplugged for an hour EVERY evening you are home to tend to family matters. Just as it is very easy to only check emails three times a day during the weekend or days-off instead of every time a message arrives. Now that I am in government, the same rules apply. When something is happening that would require an immediate response from me, I'm at the office.

This is my routine. Before I leave for home, I check. After dinner, I check. Before I turn in for the night, I check. Most messages can wait until the morning. If the client is asking a question that would take more than a minute to answer via an email from my phone, then they either need me to call (rare) or it can wait until the morning when I can be at my desk to provide a full answer.

[Anonymous]

OP - he is not going to change, because this works for him. You may need to consider a plan B . . . or D. There is nothing you will be able to do to get him to change this behavior. The change will have to come from him. Life is too short to be in a relationship like the one you described.

[Anonymous]

He is a bad manager or he works for a bad manager. He needs to manage his time beter and let peopel knwo that he is out of the office etc.

Try this as well. Read him wha tyou will say at his funeral,

I will always remember his kids playing in their games as he was sitting there on his blackberry, he cared so much, he just had to be there and i am sorry for having kids because they sometimes took away from his blackberry.

[Anonymous]

are you willing to give up the money? probably not - so shut the F up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:are you willing to give up the money? probably not - so shut the F up!

This.

[Anonymous]

Does he type on the BB during sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
And yes, he reads and types while driving. I'm so embarrassed about that that it actually feels good to "confess" it, even if on this forum.

Get him a car and driver. At least you can solve that with money. Tell him it will make him for efficient so he can concentrate on work and not the road.

For you I would suggest doing some volunteer work, just to keep you mindful of what he is buying for you, not becaues I think you are ungreatful, but you are going to need all the help you can get to stay postitive about your situation.

I'd ask him to spend 15 min with each child on the weekend bb free. It's not a lot, so start there, see if you can build on it. And do a lot to facilitate it, don't leave it up to him to plan. Remember you are doing this for the kids.

[Anonymous]

oh please everyone. OP is so freaking bored, because she's so freaking rich - that she has nothing else to complain about except that her DH is on the BB all the time. whatever....

Most of the time, having a lot of money comes with demons and trade-offs. your tradeoff is that you are a little neglected by your DH. I bet you neglect him too...

[Anonymous]

This morning, I saw a dude walking his little girl to elementary school. The asshole was wearing his ear buds, completely unengaged. I felt sorry for the little girl, because this is her role model for future relationships. If she grows up, marries a douche bag who ignores her and doesn't communicate, it will be no surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people do not have jobs that require them to be on the BB as much as they are. People think they are that important and that the things being sent to it are that critical. But they are not. People are addicted to the constant new stream of messages coming into it.

He may say that he needs to be on it 24/7, but that's a lie. It's sad how addictive smart phones have become.

There are some people who are just addicted, but there are lots of people in this town who do need to be constantly looking at their blackberry. They may not BE President or a Cabinet Officer or a Senator, but all of those people have people who work for them who are expected to be on call pretty much 24/7. Congress is often in session and/or negotiating at all hours, so anyone who is in a connected business (lawyers/lobbyists) also need to be aware if what's going on and reachable at any time. Clients of big law firms pay big bucks and, in return, expect to be able to reach their lawyer at any time.

Just because you are unimportant, it doesn't mean everyone is. It does bug me, however, when SAHM's live the good life because of their DH's high-powered job, and then spend all their time whining about how hard he works. If you're willing to move to a condo and take the kids out of private school and sell the house on the Outer Banks, then by all means, have that discussion with him. But most people who make that kind of money have enough pressure on them. They don't need you making them feel like a failure because they can't be a superstar at work and at home. Keep it up and he'll find someone who does appreciate him.

BS - As a partner at a large law firm I can tell you I was able to avoid reading every email as soon as it came into my phone. It is pretty simple to be unplugged for an hour EVERY evening you are home to tend to family matters. Just as it is very easy to only check emails three times a day during the weekend or days-off instead of every time a message arrives. Now that I am in government, the same rules apply. When something is happening that would require an immediate response from me, I'm at the office.

This is my routine. Before I leave for home, I check. After dinner, I check. Before I turn in for the night, I check. Most messages can wait until the morning. If the client is asking a question that would take more than a minute to answer via an email from my phone, then they either need me to call (rare) or it can wait until the morning when I can be at my desk to provide a full answer.

So you used to be a partner at a large law firm? I rest my case. Sounds like you have a very run of the mill 9-5 government job now. Good for you. So does the Secretary of the agency you work for have that luxury? Or his Chief of Staff? When the Deepwater Horizon blew, did everyone at the Department of Interior say "it can wait until morning?"