Do most of you not realize how out of touch and privileged you are?

[Anonymous]

First generation American here- grew up with a single mom because dad abandoned us and took all the money with him. Tons of student loans. Worked 4 jobs in college and could barely afford shampoo. I’m an obvious minority and a woman and experienced it all. 20 years of hard work later I’m well off.

My absolute biggest privilege was being born in the USA. If you don’t get that, you’re ignorant of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First generation American here- grew up with a single mom because dad abandoned us and took all the money with him. Tons of student loans. Worked 4 jobs in college and could barely afford shampoo. I’m an obvious minority and a woman and experienced it all. 20 years of hard work later I’m well off.

My absolute biggest privilege was being born in the USA. If you don’t get that, you’re ignorant of the world.

When I was a kid and learning in school that I lived in the richest country in the world, with the most opportunity, it was upsetting to me, because it seemed so utterly random that I managed to be born here instead of somewhere else, or in another time. A lot of people seem to think just being born in the US, and possibly with a massive head start, was something that they earned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my main goals in reading DCUM is to find out all the secret things rich people think that are all unknown to me because I didn’t grow up among them, but now live among them due to a confluence of hard work and luck.
As just one example, I learned about this brand called Tory Burch that supposedly all the rich suburbanites wear. It seems a total rip off to me but shortly after reading that I was at a PTA meeting and the women next to me had matching Tori Burch shoes and purse! I never would have known that it was a thing and now I see them everywhere (well, maybe less now). The funny part is that I accidentally dropped half a muffin in her bag because she left it open on the floor between our seats and my plate of snacks wobbled. I felt bad but also wasn’t quite willing to stop her after the meeting and admit I dropped a muffin in her bag. If you are reading, rich neighbor, I’m sorry.

Jesus were you born in abject poverty or something? Tori Burch is in shopping malls. It’s just a sorta nice brand - not that amazing or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" 30s buying million + dollar homes, people who are 40 years old and already 401(k) millionaires, people who have funded their future kids' college education "

That me but I'm self-made. My parents came to the United States as immigrants with $5 in their pocket. I learned hard work from them and started working at very early age and continue to do so today at the age of 41. Nothing was handed to us, no inheritance, no nothing. A lot of folks don't understand what they have here in the United States. It truly is the land of opportunity. A lof of us were not born with a gold spoon and have actually worked really hard for where we are today!

They actually were provided $50 upon entry by the US govt. More significantly, Per visa requirements, your
Parents were also required to have a “sponsor” who likely provided significant help. Please no more “$5 in the pocket”
BS stories.

This is not correct for all situations. My parents came for a medical situation and ended up overstaying their visa. They became illegal and later applied for refugee status because the situation in their country had become dire and anyone who had access to the West could’ve been kidnapped for ransom or worse. They had no significant money when they arrived.

Please go back and ready my post. I stated “legal” parents. Your were “illegal”
per your post. BTW, I think your parents used the medical needs to enter the US
Illegally...many do.

Well of course they did. My mom needed a surgery for a genetic condition that was being done experimentally in the US and Germany at the time. Germany would not allow her in, but the US did. The surgery saved her life. She’s forever grateful for it and the surgeon who did it (as is our entire family). But it took two years to get it and by that point my parents realized that they could have opportunities in this country that they never could in their home country, especially since the situation was getting so dire in their home country (basically civil war). There was simply no going back because there was nothing to go back to. My parents received asylum after a decade and became proud US citizens. This country is what you make it. It has faults but it really is an incredible place if you have ambition, drive, and can work hard in the face of adversity.

Good for your parents. Glad your mom got the help she needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just going to turn into a humble bragging circle-jerk for defensive so-called “self made” users here.

Yep. Lots of people explaining why THEY are super-rich because of their own hard work and good choices, and THEY deserve their good fortune, but THEY are super down to earth or aware of their privileges, and also everyone could be successful if they just worked hard enough, because that's definitely how life works.

But that is exactly how life works in the US. Not in many other countries, but definitely in the US. My mom came here when I was 6. She had $250 in her pocket, didn’t speak a word of English, and settled in subsidized housing given to her by the immigration agency as she was a refugee. She learned English, worked cleaning restaurants and offices, on weekends I helped. The school I went to wasn’t great by any means but if I brought home anything lower than top marks, there was hell to pay because “we came to this country for a chance and you have the chance to do better”. We didn’t own a TV, I slept on a mattress in the living room, food was pasta, so much pasta and whatever else was on sale. Clothes were all donations and books were from the library. I had no presents for my birthday, but she did make cake. No vacations, no camps, no lessons (though I did play an instrument after 6th grade thanks to music classes in school). For 10 years, she drove a run down car with peeling paint that was basically held together with duct tape. She got a couple of the ladies she worked with and they started a cleaning business. That business helped pay for college for me, along with Pell grants and me working. I didn’t go to a private college and lived at home to save money on housing. I didn’t get much choice in college major because I knew I needed to earn good money, I couldn’t just get my BA in Art History and intern for a year. I did accounting because it was practical and paid well. I got my masters. I married my husband (also from an immigrant family, he’s an attorney). We lived very frugally until his loans were paid off and then once he hit 35, his income really went up. Suddenly we are making serious money but we are investing it. We do own a $1m+ house, our cars are both under 50k and we paid cash for them. We took our first vacation after we paid off his loans. We have two kids (we can’t comfortably afford three), we help our parents out and they help us out with babysitting. The American dream is possible but what I see going on isn’t that the dream is dead, it’s that folks don’t want to work for it or they make dumb decisions.

Americans are up to their eyeballs in debt. I’m not talking medical debt (that’s it’s own separate issue and I very much support universal healthcare and would pay higher taxes for it). I’ve seen guys earning 100k and blowing it on car payments, buying houses they can’t afford, and other crap they don’t need. There’s a sense of entitlement to it, like they should be able to have everything. And then I also saw how little folks value education. Immigrant kids get a beating if they don’t bring home good grades, meanwhile you have American kids skipping school or talking back to teachers and parents support the kids! So all this crying about how life isn’t fair is ridiculous. Of course it’s not fair! Nothing is fair. Every country has its own problems, but be glad your problem is just debt. Where my mom is from, if you owed someone money, they’d come to your door in the middle of the night and you’d disappear. You wanted to start a business and it made someone upset, they could hire someone to shoot up your business. You got sick and didn’t have any money, there was plenty of hospital space but no medicine at all. And you can’t change anything about your situation. In America, you can change things. Your town has no jobs? Move. You can’t afford a house? Get a different job. America isn’t perfect (I’m not trying to sweep racial inequality under the table) but it’s got opportunities. It just requires you to actually work for the opportunities, instead of insisting on them just because you were born here.

Bingo! Now why people make dumb decisions is a different question... I honestly don't know why most of them are of a certain "culture".

To which “culture” are you referring?

Where being smart and educated is not cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First generation American here- grew up with a single mom because dad abandoned us and took all the money with him. Tons of student loans. Worked 4 jobs in college and could barely afford shampoo. I’m an obvious minority and a woman and experienced it all. 20 years of hard work later I’m well off.

My absolute biggest privilege was being born in the USA. If you don’t get that, you’re ignorant of the world.

Well done PP and well said!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my main goals in reading DCUM is to find out all the secret things rich people think that are all unknown to me because I didn’t grow up among them, but now live among them due to a confluence of hard work and luck.
As just one example, I learned about this brand called Tory Burch that supposedly all the rich suburbanites wear. It seems a total rip off to me but shortly after reading that I was at a PTA meeting and the women next to me had matching Tori Burch shoes and purse! I never would have known that it was a thing and now I see them everywhere (well, maybe less now). The funny part is that I accidentally dropped half a muffin in her bag because she left it open on the floor between our seats and my plate of snacks wobbled. I felt bad but also wasn’t quite willing to stop her after the meeting and admit I dropped a muffin in her bag. If you are reading, rich neighbor, I’m sorry.

Jesus were you born in abject poverty or something? Tori Burch is in shopping malls. It’s just a sorta nice brand - not that amazing or anything.

NP. Wow, you’re a bitch.

Nice that you consider a brand that has $350-400 shoes “sorta nice.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of us worked hard in school, spend years in college and graduate school and put in long hours at work. It isn't that hard of a formula.

Also, your anger is directed at people who are WORKING for money. Maybe you should redirect it to people who either aren't working and living off the system or those not working and living off trust funds.

This is just not true. The majority of these people were funded by their parents either through paying for education, help with rent, car payments, assistance with first home down payment, trusts or similar. The idea that the 1% is "working for money' is laughable. They were gifted funds and hardly seem to realize it. That's what OP is on about.

Who paid for OP to go to elementary, middle and high school? Did she pay for herself?

Property taxes? But you seem to miss the point. The vast majority of the super wealthy in this country did not pull themselves up by their bootstraps. They were given a leg up by their parents. While potentially OP - and many others - are busy digging themselves out of student debt or trying to save on a downpayment for that first house (or heaven forbid paying down medical bills), Daddy Warbucks' kid is earning interest on the gifted trust or other disposable income s/he has on hand that isn't going towards the crazy expenses that most normal folks have in this world. The rest of us normal folks will never catch up with that interest that you've got in trust for the kids and grandkids. And telling people just to "work harder" is purposefully misleading - because if you didn't have to pay your way, you never worked for it.

So the OP didn't pay for her own school. Is that not unearned privledge?

Here's the point you are missing. If you tell me that you are going to confiscate my wealth and collectivize my property, I will immediately reject everything else you have to say. Full stop.

Most of the people on this forum support higher taxes and a stronger social safety net. We don't support communism.

Hahahahahahaha. No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
One of my main goals in reading DCUM is to find out all the secret things rich people think that are all unknown to me because I didn’t grow up among them, but now live among them due to a confluence of hard work and luck.
As just one example, I learned about this brand called Tory Burch that supposedly all the rich suburbanites wear. It seems a total rip off to me but shortly after reading that I was at a PTA meeting and the women next to me had matching Tori Burch shoes and purse! I never would have known that it was a thing and now I see them everywhere (well, maybe less now). The funny part is that I accidentally dropped half a muffin in her bag because she left it open on the floor between our seats and my plate of snacks wobbled. I felt bad but also wasn’t quite willing to stop her after the meeting and admit I dropped a muffin in her bag. If you are reading, rich neighbor, I’m sorry.


Jesus were you born in abject poverty or something? Tori Burch is in shopping malls. It’s just a sorta nice brand - not that amazing or anything.

^Person who doesn't realize how out of touch and privileged she is. Apparently most other people do realize they are out of touch and privileged though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" 30s buying million + dollar homes, people who are 40 years old and already 401(k) millionaires, people who have funded their future kids' college education "

That me but I'm self-made. My parents came to the United States as immigrants with $5 in their pocket. I learned hard work from them and started working at very early age and continue to do so today at the age of 41. Nothing was handed to us, no inheritance, no nothing. A lot of folks don't understand what they have here in the United States. It truly is the land of opportunity. A lof of us were not born with a gold spoon and have actually worked really hard for where we are today!

They actually were provided $50 upon entry by the US govt. More significantly, Per visa requirements, your
Parents were also required to have a “sponsor” who likely provided significant help. Please no more “$5 in the pocket”
BS stories.

$50 for immigrants arriving in the 70's. You must be out of you effin mind!! You lose all credibility right here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of us worked hard in school, spend years in college and graduate school and put in long hours at work. It isn't that hard of a formula.

Also, your anger is directed at people who are WORKING for money. Maybe you should redirect it to people who either aren't working and living off the system or those not working and living off trust funds.

DP. Someone paid for you to be able to have the opportunity to work for your money but providing you the base needs to get the skills needed to earn a ton of money. Nobody spends years in college and graduate school without mommy and daddy backing them up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of us worked hard in school, spend years in college and graduate school and put in long hours at work. It isn't that hard of a formula.

Also, your anger is directed at people who are WORKING for money. Maybe you should redirect it to people who either aren't working and living off the system or those not working and living off trust funds.

This right here is a perfect example of being so out of touch, she earned it! And that it isn't that hard of a formula! Look, op, right here is the sample of the clueless person you are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the answers (not all) are why the US is basically over as a country. No sense of identity in anything but money and work. They don’t call it the Almighty Dollar for nothing.

https://www.studyfinds.org/stimulus-check-voters-agree/

I agree! The US is over. Somebody let the tens of millions of immigrants hoping to move here know that the party is over. Tell them we have determined that money and work don’t matter and they can just stay and be happy where they are.

You are very stupid and not educated. We live in a system called techno feudalism. Government exploits us and the small group of very rich people keeps us dumb and working hours upon hours while they keep getting richer and richer and we get poorer and eventually homeless. Gov has no stepped in to help the serfs, which is most of us but they have provided all the tools for the rich feudalists to keep us docile, police, military, lack of education, lack of well-paying jobs. There is only one way out of this, and that is bring down the system. It happens to most countries that eff the poor too much. It will happen here, it will happen pretty soon.

[Anonymous]

So meany people are bragging about themselves, especially the people that came here as immigrants. You'd think the recent immigrants would be more understanding but they're actually some of the worst posts here. They're acting like they represent some immigrant norm. That isn't the case at all. We have a million immigrants come to the USA every year so obviously some are going to succeed but there isn't some magical immigrant mindset that made that happen. Most will not be rich.

I read a post where someone said that everyone should go overseas to see how lucky they are. That very comment shows how out of touch that poster is. As the OP said, most Americans cannot afford a $500 emergency. How do you think they can afford to go overseas? They cannot. That's why less than half of all Americans even have passports. I've personally never left the country and never owned a passport. I go on vacations in America. I haven't flown on a plane in 15 years, I drive everywhere. Plane tickets are expensive. It's much cheaper to drive 1500 miles with a family of four and stay a couple nights in a hotel on the way to visit family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:" 30s buying million + dollar homes, people who are 40 years old and already 401(k) millionaires, people who have funded their future kids' college education "

That me but I'm self-made. My parents came to the United States as immigrants with $5 in their pocket. I learned hard work from them and started working at very early age and continue to do so today at the age of 41. Nothing was handed to us, no inheritance, no nothing. A lot of folks don't understand what they have here in the United States. It truly is the land of opportunity. A lof of us were not born with a gold spoon and have actually worked really hard for where we are today!

They actually were provided $50 upon entry by the US govt. More significantly, Per visa requirements, your
Parents were also required to have a “sponsor” who likely provided significant help. Please no more “$5 in the pocket”
BS stories.

+1. Very few “legal” immigrants arrive here with just $5. The US govt is a bit
more sophisticated with the legal immigration process. Most have funds back home which
are transferred to the US. The visa sponsor is usually a blood family member AND in solid financial
standing as require to support the immigrants for a number of years (I think 5 years min).

I’m a child of immigrants and this is true. The whole “I came here with $5 in my pocket” story needs to die. It isn’t true. And all immigrants are not held to the same standards.

100%

This days are over. I'm Vietnamese and my parents were boat people. They came here with a cup of rice in their pockets.

We've brought family over here legally and it requires a sponsor, lots of money, and a immigrants who can bring Tru value to the US.

Nobody is legally coming here with five dollars these days.