Do most of you not realize how out of touch and privileged you are?

[Anonymous]

I was just thinking about this very subject after reading some posts in the real estate thread about how there are no livable homes available below $1 million in the DMV. Where do people think the vast majority of the residents of this area live?

I think the cause of being out of touch is, for the most part, having also grown up UMC. I grew in a working class family. Neither of my parents went to college and worked in blue collar jobs. Our HHI is about $400K. I thank my lucky starts every day for this and live by the mindset that the rug could be pulled out from under me at any time. Despite my working class upbringing, I am not foolish enough to think I somehow "earned" my success. I had a loving family who supported me, worked in less than desirable jobs so I could go to college, and benefited from the luck of being in the right place at the right time in terms of career opportunities, the historic bull stock market, and low mortgage interest rates. A lot of people do all of the "right" things but the outcome is very different. We live in a $600K house in the suburbs. We drive Hondas and Toyotas. I do not have the sophisticated tastes of the UMC displayed on DCUM. I am more comfortable around WC and MC people. I do not care if my kitchen or bathrooms are the most up to date. My goals are to pay for as much education as my kids want and retire early because I value that more than annual European vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the answers (not all) are why the US is basically over as a country. No sense of identity in anything but money and work. They don’t call it the Almighty Dollar for nothing.

https://www.studyfinds.org/stimulus-check-voters-agree/

I agree! The US is over. Somebody let the tens of millions of immigrants hoping to move here know that the party is over. Tell them we have determined that money and work don’t matter and they can just stay and be happy where they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was just thinking about this very subject after reading some posts in the real estate thread about how there are no livable homes available below $1 million in the DMV. Where do people think the vast majority of the residents of this area live?

I think the cause of being out of touch is, for the most part, having also grown up UMC. I grew in a working class family. Neither of my parents went to college and worked in blue collar jobs. Our HHI is about $400K. I thank my lucky starts every day for this and live by the mindset that the rug could be pulled out from under me at any time. Despite my working class upbringing, I am not foolish enough to think I somehow "earned" my success. I had a loving family who supported me, worked in less than desirable jobs so I could go to college, and benefited from the luck of being in the right place at the right time in terms of career opportunities, the historic bull stock market, and low mortgage interest rates. A lot of people do all of the "right" things but the outcome is very different. We live in a $600K house in the suburbs. We drive Hondas and Toyotas. I do not have the sophisticated tastes of the UMC displayed on DCUM. I am more comfortable around WC and MC people. I do not care if my kitchen or bathrooms are the most up to date. My goals are to pay for as much education as my kids want and retire early because I value that more than annual European vacations.

This. You know who works really hard? The woman who cleans my company's offices. She is an incredibly hard worker, and a sweet, friendly person besides. And she's never going to be successful by the metrics of the UMC, even though she is probably a better person than at least half of them.

The other thing is that a lot of people don't do all the right things, and they still "make it," because they have a robust safety net and other privileges. Rich (white) kids at my high school got caught vandalizing street signs. You know what happened to them? Nothing. The cops called their parents and they went home with a warning. And back to school, and off to college. A poor/black kid makes the same dumb choice, and he's going to jail. A UMC person develops a drinking problem, he's got a bigger financial cushion, and sick leave, and he can afford to call an Uber instead of getting dinged with a DUI, and he can afford rehab, and people put up with him. A LMC person develops a drinking problem, they can end up jobless and homeless. No one is perfect, but the cost of mistakes is much higher for those further down the ladder.

[Anonymous]

I realize it. My parents paid for my college. I inherited enough money for a house down payment from my grandmother. She was a single mom who scrimped and saved and worked forever, but because she did, I didn't have to. I know this. I am grateful for it. I am willing to pay more in taxes and agree that $600 is ridiculously too low. I don't need the 1400 and will give it away if I end up getting it. $15 minimum wage is a good idea. I do have to actually work to continue eating and providing health care to my children, but I am in good shape and I did not directly earn everything that I now have, or even most of it. And I know it.

I am sure there are myriad ways in which I am out of touch, but I try not to be. What to do now?

[Anonymous]

I do realize I'm privileged and so do my parents, who came here as poor immigrants from a communist country (where, btw there is also privilege, corruption and lots of racism). The US is not a perfect meritocracy but much more so than most countries in the world where it's much harder to overcome your birth circumstances.

The US is a high risk high reward type of place. Poor safety nets, but higher potential to really make it big if you get lucky and work hard. See all the Europeans in medicine and tech coming here in droves to advance their careers and finances before retiring to their home countries.

We also spend more on military because that's where our soft power comes from, it helps many regions stay out of conflict and benefits American allies resulting in geopolitical influence, which trickles down to helping support the American way of life. It's the price of leadership. See China starting to do the same as they start flexing on the world stage.

[Anonymous]

Hear, hear!

DCUM is apparently the land of the
...3%? I don't even know. Well above the top 10% of earners for the country, it seems. And yet all these posts say "I just worked hard and made good choices." Do you think you are honestly THAT much smarter and harder working than the other 97% of the country? Do you honestly think everyone in a job that pays under 6 figures just doesn't work as hard as you? Or that there are enough jobs in finance, law, medicine, and tech that if everyone wanted to make "better choices" and be wealthy, everyone could? Statistically, either everyone else is really dumb and lazy, or you're overvaluing your efforts and undervaluing luck and other factors.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for this thread, OP. I agree wholeheartedly with the content of your posts.

[Anonymous]

I'm crying I had to sell my car to make rent today.

So now i am facing a 2.5 hour bus ride in this COVID to make it to work tomorrow and i am NOT looking forward to it.


I was doing uber eats as side income, but obviously it was not enough.

I wish I could order myself an uber eats meal but we are having spagetthi tonight. (99 cent pasta, $3 sauce I sprang for the prego).

Still mad a customer from last week snatched the food bag out of my hand when it was the restaurant that made me late to deliver, no tip. In one of those 1 million dollar houses you all are talking about. As i cout the $17 in my wallet over and over again (no credit cards, thankfully).

Thanks i feel better getting to rant.
That is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just thinking about this very subject after reading some posts in the real estate thread about how there are no livable homes available below $1 million in the DMV. Where do people think the vast majority of the residents of this area live?

I think the cause of being out of touch is, for the most part, having also grown up UMC. I grew in a working class family. Neither of my parents went to college and worked in blue collar jobs. Our HHI is about $400K. I thank my lucky starts every day for this and live by the mindset that the rug could be pulled out from under me at any time. Despite my working class upbringing, I am not foolish enough to think I somehow "earned" my success. I had a loving family who supported me, worked in less than desirable jobs so I could go to college, and benefited from the luck of being in the right place at the right time in terms of career opportunities, the historic bull stock market, and low mortgage interest rates. A lot of people do all of the "right" things but the outcome is very different. We live in a $600K house in the suburbs. We drive Hondas and Toyotas. I do not have the sophisticated tastes of the UMC displayed on DCUM. I am more comfortable around WC and MC people. I do not care if my kitchen or bathrooms are the most up to date. My goals are to pay for as much education as my kids want and retire early because I value that more than annual European vacations.

This. You know who works really hard? The woman who cleans my company's offices. She is an incredibly hard worker, and a sweet, friendly person besides. And she's never going to be successful by the metrics of the UMC, even though she is probably a better person than at least half of them.

The other thing is that a lot of people don't do all the right things, and they still "make it," because they have a robust safety net and other privileges. Rich (white) kids at my high school got caught vandalizing street signs. You know what happened to them? Nothing. The cops called their parents and they went home with a warning. And back to school, and off to college. A poor/black kid makes the same dumb choice, and he's going to jail. A UMC person develops a drinking problem, he's got a bigger financial cushion, and sick leave, and he can afford to call an Uber instead of getting dinged with a DUI, and he can afford rehab, and people put up with him. A LMC person develops a drinking problem, they can end up jobless and homeless. No one is perfect, but the cost of mistakes is much higher for those further down the ladder.

Yes. All of this from both posters. I feel extremely grateful for what I have. Every single one of us had made major mistakes, but some of us are lucky, whether due to skin color or the circumstances of our birth, that we have a larger margin for error.

I've listened to the story of one of the moms of my daughter's soccer teammate, who was brave enough to share her experience as an illegal immigrant who left a child behind in her country of birth (who she still supports). The fear she lives with, the hard work that she and her family put in every day, the sacrifices that they make for their kids, and the fact that they are grateful despite it all, make her a much better person than I am. She's a mother who loves her kids, just like I am. She's clearly a harder worker than I am and more deserving of financial security based on her work ethic. I just happened to luck out by being born in a place that made my life much easier.

[Anonymous]

I hope, OP, you will donate your $600 stimulus check to the hungry people in poor countries. It’s a fortune to them, and many of them work way harder than you ever will, yet they don’t earn even $2 per day. Do you plan to keep your check?

[Anonymous]

People who don't recognize it are being disingenuous or at best, deliberately obtuse.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to believe people who are making this kind of money are posting on DCUM.

How do lawyers have so much free time to post on a message board?

Don't believe everything you read on DCUM, it's anonymous. People can say whatever they want and live out their wildest fantasies.

[Anonymous]

Let me get this straight, you stumbled upon a conversation between rich people. Now you are upset that there are rich people having conversations about topics that, well, rich peo[ple have conversations about.

What do you want OP? Just go away and this won't bother you anymore.

Or do you want to hear more about the car I bought this weekend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hear, hear!

DCUM is apparently the land of the
...3%? I don't even know. Well above the top 10% of earners for the country, it seems. And yet all these posts say "I just worked hard and made good choices." Do you think you are honestly THAT much smarter and harder working than the other 97% of the country? Do you honestly think everyone in a job that pays under 6 figures just doesn't work as hard as you? Or that there are enough jobs in finance, law, medicine, and tech that if everyone wanted to make "better choices" and be wealthy, everyone could? Statistically, either everyone else is really dumb and lazy, or you're overvaluing your efforts and undervaluing luck and other factors.

While not everyone, the bottom half of the curve in the U.S. is pretty dumb and lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to believe people who are making this kind of money are posting on DCUM.

How do lawyers have so much free time to post on a message board?

Don't believe everything you read on DCUM, it's anonymous. People can say whatever they want and live out their wildest fantasies.

This. More than 3/4 of the people posting on DCUM claim to be top 1%. I find it hard to believe that MOST of the top 1%ers in America have found the DCUM boards AND ALL of them aren't busy earning that top 1%. I mean sure a lot of the top 1% is due to inheritance and trusts but in America A LOT of them are working -- often as bankers, surgeons, and lawyers. IDK any Goldman Sachs or hedge fund banker or surgeon or biglaw partner was enough time on their hands that they are ADDICTED to DCUM and posting EVERY time a net worth thread drops. I do think lots of DCUM does have a lot of money, but I think they also multiple what they have by 2x or 3x bc hey it's an anonymous internet board, who will know and it makes them feel superior.