I definitely said a lot of racist & problematic things in the 90s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:POC here- yep, I went to school with people like OP- they were incredibly commonplace. I hope you’ve reflected on how horribly you treated others.

This is the thing. No matter how ”normal” it was to be that way, you were harming people the whole time. You didn’t notice it it, but they always noticed. You are in all of their stories. Now just picture OP multiplied by everyone like OP, thoughtlessly dehumanizing people and reaping the benefits of being favored. It is shocking how many middle aged white people have no idea how many people they hurt or gained an unfair advantage over. without even knowing. Learning is the only path forward.

There is a thing called therapy which is far more beneficial than holding onto decades long grievances that you plan to air on social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:how did you play eanie meanie miney mo?

As a kid in the 70"s? N word

As a parent in the 2000"s? tiger

Learn more, do better

What region of the US did you live in? MD suburb here in the 1970s and it was "tiger."

Agree with learn more, do better.

I am beyond shocked that anyone said that in the 1970s. I’m 50 and I remember the 70s well. I had never heard that word until it became used in rap music, I don’t think. White peoole I knew certainly did not say it.

I’m in my 50’s , black, grew up in the 70’s and I certainly heard it and not in rap music.
I’m so over whose folks claiming stuff didn’t happen because they did not see it, hear it or experience it.
Your childish shock is sad, demeaning and says you need to get out more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:POC here- yep, I went to school with people like OP- they were incredibly commonplace. I hope you’ve reflected on how horribly you treated others.

This is the thing. No matter how ”normal” it was to be that way, you were harming people the whole time. You didn’t notice it it, but they always noticed. You are in all of their stories. Now just picture OP multiplied by everyone like OP, thoughtlessly dehumanizing people and reaping the benefits of being favored. It is shocking how many middle aged white people have no idea how many people they hurt or gained an unfair advantage over. without even knowing. Learning is the only path forward.

There is a thing called therapy which is far more beneficial than holding onto decades long grievances that you plan to air on social media.

Ah yes, the problem is the people who point out the issue, not the issue itself. They should just shove it and never talk it about it to anybody but their therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:POC here- yep, I went to school with people like OP- they were incredibly commonplace. I hope you’ve reflected on how horribly you treated others.

This is the thing. No matter how ”normal” it was to be that way, you were harming people the whole time. You didn’t notice it it, but they always noticed. You are in all of their stories. Now just picture OP multiplied by everyone like OP, thoughtlessly dehumanizing people and reaping the benefits of being favored. It is shocking how many middle aged white people have no idea how many people they hurt or gained an unfair advantage over. without even knowing. Learning is the only path forward.

I think this is such an important point. Even if you hurt somebody by accident, that person is still hurt and has to suffer the consequences of your ignorance. Yes it’s absolutely vital that we hold space for growth and don’t shame people, but that doesn’t mean that those who have been hurt are automatically healed. People have this expectation that once we apologize for hurting others, they are obligated to forgive us and pretend like it never happened. They don’t. Ans that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to do better. We just have to recognize that doing better doesn’t fix everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone here probably sat indian style in elementary school and called it that too. Criss cross applesauce didn’t exist then!!!

You never heard of "tailor sitting" or "tailor style?" The term has been around a lot longer than those you referenced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:POC here- yep, I went to school with people like OP- they were incredibly commonplace. I hope you’ve reflected on how horribly you treated others.

This is the thing. No matter how ”normal” it was to be that way, you were harming people the whole time. You didn’t notice it it, but they always noticed. You are in all of their stories. Now just picture OP multiplied by everyone like OP, thoughtlessly dehumanizing people and reaping the benefits of being favored. It is shocking how many middle aged white people have no idea how many people they hurt or gained an unfair advantage over. without even knowing. Learning is the only path forward.

I think this is such an important point. Even if you hurt somebody by accident, that person is still hurt and has to suffer the consequences of your ignorance. Yes it’s absolutely vital that we hold space for growth and don’t shame people, but that doesn’t mean that those who have been hurt are automatically healed. People have this expectation that once we apologize for hurting others, they are obligated to forgive us and pretend like it never happened. They don’t. Ans that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to do better. We just have to recognize that doing better doesn’t fix everything.

Totally agree.

I also think it requires being totally honest about the hurtful stuff that you may have said or done. I find the "I never did anything like this" posters upsetting, because they are not being honest. They may never have said anything like OP, but there is no way they weren't hurtful in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care what decade you grew up in. Its a choice to be ignorant.

I was watching a British special filmed in 2019 today and the racism jumped out straight away - its crazy. References to exotic 'Sinoise styles', the Oriental attendant at 6:28, and the harsh judgement of Chinese designs.

Does it make it 'acceptable' that this show was filmed and produced in 2019 + shown in 2020?

I disagree. “Its” not ignorant to behave in a manner that is socially acceptable at the time. Societal norms evolve (thankfully!) and those who do not evolve with them are ignorant.

whose norms? Wrong is wrong, and white people seem to often to make the excuse that certain things were accepted 'back then.' Really? Not by the marginalized; their norms did not involve treating others poorly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about Joe Biden and how he treated Anita Hill in 1992.

Oh go away. Your cult leader lost.

I mean, he/she is not lying. If we’re talking about super anachronistic non-PC stuff that wasn’t all that long ago, why is this out of bounds to mention. It’s not like they brought up creepily holding the shoulders of another mans wife, on stage, from behind, while nuzzling her ear...

Also I’d throw in staunch anti gay marriage speeches by Obama and H. Clinton. But I don’t want this generally interesting thread to become overly political. That’s not the point. But it’s not only racist rednecks who quite recently did some dirt that would definitely get you cancelled now. They didn’t know better at the time, but others should have...?

Her marital status has nothing to do with men being creepy.

Who was this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am confused by the POC posters responding to this thread as if “problematic“ speech and behavior by youth is some problem exclusive to white people? I am sure that NO black American teens have EVER said anything homophobic, sexist, or downright misogynistic, for example...

Did anyone ever say that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you can change is your actions now, right OP? I remember a lot of anti-asian racism in my ES. People made fun of the smells of some kids' lunches, did the slanted eye thing you describe, and bad fake accents. I think by the 90s when I was in high school this was not as acceptable, but I also went to a pretty progressive school on the west coast, so I would not be surprised if elsewhere it was still pervasive. DH has been involved in hockey (used to be at a high level, now recreational and coaching) since the 80s and said that locker room pejorative use of gay only really stopped in the last 5-10 years. With all of these things there's also a time period where a majority have realized that it's wrong but a sizeable group still do it and I think it takes a while for the peer pressure to stamp out the rest.

It was never acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is everything that is wrong with liberals. There is zero space for education and/or growth. It doesn't matter in what decade OP said or did anything that may be misconstrued in today's era. The point is that she has reevaluated and learned. I always thought that was the ultimate goal. But no, for most liberals, its to burn everyone at the stake and come out on top in the self-congratulatory, woke Olympics.

OP, you're fine. Education, reformation and reevaluating our former selves should be the goal. The cancel loons are what is wrong with society.

Please do show us one person cancelled for things they said as a middle schooler. Just one example.

Close-- a girl in VA had her acceptance revoked at University of Tennesee, I believe that was the school, when a former classmate sent to the university a screenshot of something offensive she posted in 9th grade. Four years later she had matured into someone who cared about eradicating racism and recognizing her privilege. But still, because 4 years before she posted something offensive, she lost her admission.

Good. She needs to learn that there are consequences for such actions. Racism is not a joke for those on the receiving end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about Joe Biden and how he treated Anita Hill in 1992.

Oh go away. Your cult leader lost.

I mean, he/she is not lying. If we’re talking about super anachronistic non-PC stuff that wasn’t all that long ago, why is this out of bounds to mention. It’s not like they brought up creepily holding the shoulders of another mans wife, on stage, from behind, while nuzzling her ear...

Also I’d throw in staunch anti gay marriage speeches by Obama and H. Clinton. But I don’t want this generally interesting thread to become overly political. That’s not the point. But it’s not only racist rednecks who quite recently did some dirt that would definitely get you cancelled now. They didn’t know better at the time, but others should have...?

Her marital status has nothing to do with men being creepy.

Who was this?

Biden. More than once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in NYC, and I don't remember anything that extreme. I don't even remember the jerkiest people in my high school saying anything racist or homophobic. I do remember a friend saying that she wasn't usually attracted to Asian guys, which isn't great, but that is about it.

What’s wrong with saying you’re not attracted to a certain race? Seriously?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in NYC, and I don't remember anything that extreme. I don't even remember the jerkiest people in my high school saying anything racist or homophobic. I do remember a friend saying that she wasn't usually attracted to Asian guys, which isn't great, but that is about it.

What’s wrong with saying you’re not attracted to a certain race? Seriously?!

Probably because it’s usually accompanied by the slant eye gesture that many pps have commented on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am confused by the POC posters responding to this thread as if “problematic“ speech and behavior by youth is some problem exclusive to white people? I am sure that NO black American teens have EVER said anything homophobic, sexist, or downright misogynistic, for example...

Did anyone ever say that?

They may as well have. Now all black people are somehow perfect and beyond reproach and if you criticize them or point out anything they have done wrong, you are a racist. Now, most normal people who aren’t complete SJW nuts know that black people aren’t perfect, and that no one else is either. But is is only socially acceptable to project all of their frustrations with the flaws of humanity onto white people.