Nice White Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In white parents’ defense, they’ve been told so long that diversity was some kind of educational magic bullet. AA families are often complicit in that messaging.

This series is exposing that it’s not nearly so simple.

I've literally never heard this or anything like this expressed. I think it exposes that many MC/UMC white people wish there were "silver bullet" solutions to systemic racism, and so they interpret interventions that way. Then they feel betrayed when it turns out that their magical thinking doesn't work.

Of course the solution was never as simple as "diversity". And please point me to the AA families who are "often complicit" in perpetuating that messaging. Because I've never met any.

The latest clashes over redistricting was all about how diversity would bring all these benefits.

Many people, including Africans Americans, fought for redistricting in the name of diversity as if it was some kind of magic no brainer policy with no downside.

We’ve had decades of arguments for desegregation.

If diversity doesn’t really matter why do so many people fight for it?

Not hard to see why white families get the idea that simply reintegrating is some kind of noble act.

That one fundraiser guy really thought he was helping by bringing a cohort of white families in to bring about diversity.

Without his initiative it’s likely barely any of them would have showed up.

You guys have been slamming him, but I think if he had just communicated better this would have been a success story instead of a warning story.

Really? I got the impression that he realized that his kid was unlikely to get into one of the schools of choice; brainstormed the idea and then wrote the narrative which served mostly his and his counterparts interests. Had he not been faced with gettin shut out of the school he wanted his kids to go to he never would have given the school a first thought.

He was clear about this from the beginning.

He asked the principal, but he didn’t properly inform the PTA at the beginning.

The PTA were just told this guy was fundraising a bunch of money, and understandably, started daydreaming about how they’d use it.

Then they got the rug pulled out from under them when they found out they couldn’t use the money.

A better message at the start would have been, “hey, we’re getting a French immersion program, and we don’t have to pay for any of it!”

I think there would have been a lot less bad blood. Even better if the principal had announced it.

YES, I thought the same thing, it was all the principal's fault for not being a good communicator.

SHE wanted these kids, any kids,k to come to the school. To get them to come, she ok'd their idea of a French immersion program, as long as they'd fundraise to pay for it.

SHE should have communited that to the rest of the parent body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't believe the first episode! I thought it was going to be totally different based on the reviews.

I don't think these white parents did anything wrong except not being more inclusive to the parents who were already there. But a. the school was struggling to attract new students, b. the media is telling white people how bad and racist we are all the time, how wrong it is to move to the suburbs (white flight), how wrong it is to send your kids to 40-50k a year private schools etc. etc. and here these parents actually send their kids to the neighborhood school, c. they fundraise on their own to put into place the new program they want. At least they weren't using the PTA's money for it.

What do you want white parents to do? We're bad if we move to the suburbs, we're bad if we send our kids to private school, and now we're also bad if we send our kids to the neighborhood school and get involved in it.

You answered your own question.

But that's just the personalities of the particular people involved, that fundraiser Rob and some of his friends. That's not a "white people" problem.

Look, here was a school struggling to attract new students and worried about closing due to low numbers. The principal wants to attract new students. She ok's their idea of a new French program as long as they can find a way to pay for it, which they do.

She should have communicated that to the rest of the parent body. "Hey, we're starting a new French program with this funding through the French embassy, it's open to everyone, woo hoo."

If the parent body had wanted a Spanish or Arabic program (honestly doesn't sound like it was even on their radar), that's when it should have come up, that's when they should have started discussing how to fundraise for those individual programs. Not after the French program was already put into place and the students were enrolled.

It blows my mind how poorly she handled this and how it's now being translated into a "white person" thing, as if we're all assholes who don't know how to be inclusive of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't believe the first episode! I thought it was going to be totally different based on the reviews.

I don't think these white parents did anything wrong except not being more inclusive to the parents who were already there. But a. the school was struggling to attract new students, b. the media is telling white people how bad and racist we are all the time, how wrong it is to move to the suburbs (white flight), how wrong it is to send your kids to 40-50k a year private schools etc. etc. and here these parents actually send their kids to the neighborhood school, c. they fundraise on their own to put into place the new program they want. At least they weren't using the PTA's money for it.

What do you want white parents to do? We're bad if we move to the suburbs, we're bad if we send our kids to private school, and now we're also bad if we send our kids to the neighborhood school and get involved in it.

You answered your own question.

But that's just the personalities of the particular people involved, that fundraiser Rob and some of his friends. That's not a "white people" problem.

Look, here was a school struggling to attract new students and worried about closing due to low numbers. The principal wants to attract new students. She ok's their idea of a new French program as long as they can find a way to pay for it, which they do.

She should have communicated that to the rest of the parent body. "Hey, we're starting a new French program with this funding through the French embassy, it's open to everyone, woo hoo."

If the parent body had wanted a Spanish or Arabic program (honestly doesn't sound like it was even on their radar), that's when it should have come up, that's when they should have started discussing how to fundraise for those individual programs. Not after the French program was already put into place and the students were enrolled.

It blows my mind how poorly she handled this and how it's now being translated into a "white person" thing, as if we're all assholes who don't know how to be inclusive of others.

#notallwhitepeople

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't believe the first episode! I thought it was going to be totally different based on the reviews.

I don't think these white parents did anything wrong except not being more inclusive to the parents who were already there. But a. the school was struggling to attract new students, b. the media is telling white people how bad and racist we are all the time, how wrong it is to move to the suburbs (white flight), how wrong it is to send your kids to 40-50k a year private schools etc. etc. and here these parents actually send their kids to the neighborhood school, c. they fundraise on their own to put into place the new program they want. At least they weren't using the PTA's money for it.

What do you want white parents to do? We're bad if we move to the suburbs, we're bad if we send our kids to private school, and now we're also bad if we send our kids to the neighborhood school and get involved in it.

You answered your own question.

But that's just the personalities of the particular people involved, that fundraiser Rob and some of his friends. That's not a "white people" problem.

Look, here was a school struggling to attract new students and worried about closing due to low numbers. The principal wants to attract new students. She ok's their idea of a new French program as long as they can find a way to pay for it, which they do.

She should have communicated that to the rest of the parent body. "Hey, we're starting a new French program with this funding through the French embassy, it's open to everyone, woo hoo."

If the parent body had wanted a Spanish or Arabic program (honestly doesn't sound like it was even on their radar), that's when it should have come up, that's when they should have started discussing how to fundraise for those individual programs. Not after the French program was already put into place and the students were enrolled.

It blows my mind how poorly she handled this and how it's now being translated into a "white person" thing, as if we're all assholes who don't know how to be inclusive of others.

#notallwhitepeople

Do you disagree that the principal should have been handling this better?

In the first episode, the podcaster makes a big deal about the fact that Rob didn't reach out to the PTA parents and let them know about the new French program and how it was going to be paid for. But, as a new person who didn't even know them, was that his place? Shouldn't the principal have done this?

I feel like that's how it would have been handled at my school.

[Anonymous]

look, at the NYT it's white people bad get with the program it's a business

white liberals think there is more racisim in the US than actual black people and they eat this kind of stuff up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't believe the first episode! I thought it was going to be totally different based on the reviews.

I don't think these white parents did anything wrong except not being more inclusive to the parents who were already there. But a. the school was struggling to attract new students, b. the media is telling white people how bad and racist we are all the time, how wrong it is to move to the suburbs (white flight), how wrong it is to send your kids to 40-50k a year private schools etc. etc. and here these parents actually send their kids to the neighborhood school, c. they fundraise on their own to put into place the new program they want. At least they weren't using the PTA's money for it.

What do you want white parents to do? We're bad if we move to the suburbs, we're bad if we send our kids to private school, and now we're also bad if we send our kids to the neighborhood school and get involved in it.

You answered your own question.

But that's just the personalities of the particular people involved, that fundraiser Rob and some of his friends. That's not a "white people" problem.

Look, here was a school struggling to attract new students and worried about closing due to low numbers. The principal wants to attract new students. She ok's their idea of a new French program as long as they can find a way to pay for it, which they do.

She should have communicated that to the rest of the parent body. "Hey, we're starting a new French program with this funding through the French embassy, it's open to everyone, woo hoo."

If the parent body had wanted a Spanish or Arabic program (honestly was doesn't sound like it was even on their radar), that's when it should have come up, that's when they should have started discussing how to fundraise for those individual programs. Not after the French program was already put into place and the students were enrolled.

It blows my mind how poorly she handled this and how it's now being translated into a "white person" thing, as if we're all assholes who don't know how to be inclusive of others.

I thought it was the reporter editorializing about how much better an Arabic program would have been so that the middle eastern girl would be more proficient than the white students of European descent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't believe the first episode! I thought it was going to be totally different based on the reviews.

I don't think these white parents did anything wrong except not being more inclusive to the parents who were already there. But a. the school was struggling to attract new students, b. the media is telling white people how bad and racist we are all the time, how wrong it is to move to the suburbs (white flight), how wrong it is to send your kids to 40-50k a year private schools etc. etc. and here these parents actually send their kids to the neighborhood school, c. they fundraise on their own to put into place the new program they want. At least they weren't using the PTA's money for it.

What do you want white parents to do? We're bad if we move to the suburbs, we're bad if we send our kids to private school, and now we're also bad if we send our kids to the neighborhood school and get involved in it.

You answered your own question.

But that's just the personalities of the particular people involved, that fundraiser Rob and some of his friends. That's not a "white people" problem.

Look, here was a school struggling to attract new students and worried about closing due to low numbers. The principal wants to attract new students. She ok's their idea of a new French program as long as they can find a way to pay for it, which they do.

She should have communicated that to the rest of the parent body. "Hey, we're starting a new French program with this funding through the French embassy, it's open to everyone, woo hoo."

If the parent body had wanted a Spanish or Arabic program (honestly doesn't sound like it was even on their radar), that's when it should have come up, that's when they should have started discussing how to fundraise for those individual programs. Not after the French program was already put into place and the students were enrolled.

It blows my mind how poorly she handled this and how it's now being translated into a "white person" thing, as if we're all assholes who don't know how to be inclusive of others.

No, not all white people act like this. But it's not an isolated event, either, it's a fairly common pattern.

[Anonymous]

I can't take any more of this non-stop hyper racist, anti-white drumbeat in the NYT, Wapo, and their like. It's too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will be very interesting to see what Nikole Hannah Jones chooses as her daughter gets older.

I think it’s often glossed over that she didn’t send her kid to her zoned k-5 school in bed stuy but choose to drive everyday to a school in dumbo with 1mm grant, dual language mandarin, and was recently re-zoned when she arrived with local wealthy neighborhood. She was shocked when the white millionaires in dumbo didn’t send their kids. That was her expectation.

[Anonymous]

I don't see a difference between what the "nice white parents" did, and how the author decided that the Mom from Puerto Rico should have been offended/stood up for herself when the older woman was yammering on about speaking two languages at the French party. "Poor people don't know when they are being mocked or insulted and I'm here to tell them." It's the same Savior Complex over and over. The nerve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see a difference between what the "nice white parents" did, and how the author decided that the Mom from Puerto Rico should have been offended/stood up for herself when the older woman was yammering on about speaking two languages at the French party. "Poor people don't know when they are being mocked or insulted and I'm here to tell them." It's the same Savior Complex over and over. The nerve.

I did not hear that section that way. Aimee, the PTA president, had previously remarked that she kept quiet and seethed quietly/at home with her husband later instead of speaking out during PTA meetings. This was another situation in which she did not feel that her perspective would be heard (whether she was correct in that assumption or not), and instead, a white person was talking over her, not respecting her position or experience.

The podcast is obviously created to tell a certain story, but as a white woman who was the PTA president of a majority minority elementary school who had many conversations with prospective parents about their discomfort sending their child to a school with a low test scores and a lot of low income kids they perceived to have "behavior problems" or "parents who weren't invested in education", absolutely nothing I've heard on the podcast so far rings false. I was told, repeatedly, that they were supportive of public education in general, but that the district didn't do enough to make its programs appeal to "middle class people" whose children are "academically gifted." The general feeling was that the school was good enough for the Black and Latino kids who attended the school, but not good enough for the white kids with "middle class parents who were actively invested in their education."

If you find yourself getting defensive about something you heard on this podcast, you should examine why you feel that way.

[Anonymous]

I am "defensive" as you say bc I do not need white people, especially these young ones, judging me as a Latinx on how I choose to interact with the world. I don't need them coming in and doing podcasts for everyone to hear how helpless I am against white people and how they're going to save me. I will handle my business on my terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't believe the first episode! I thought it was going to be totally different based on the reviews.

I don't think these white parents did anything wrong except not being more inclusive to the parents who were already there. But a. the school was struggling to attract new students, b. the media is telling white people how bad and racist we are all the time, how wrong it is to move to the suburbs (white flight), how wrong it is to send your kids to 40-50k a year private schools etc. etc. and here these parents actually send their kids to the neighborhood school, c. they fundraise on their own to put into place the new program they want. At least they weren't using the PTA's money for it.

What do you want white parents to do? We're bad if we move to the suburbs, we're bad if we send our kids to private school, and now we're also bad if we send our kids to the neighborhood school and get involved in it.

There’s nothing you can do. That’s the point of their attacks. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Blaming white (and Asian?) folks for failed schools is and always has been a crock of ****.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see a difference between what the "nice white parents" did, and how the author decided that the Mom from Puerto Rico should have been offended/stood up for herself when the older woman was yammering on about speaking two languages at the French party. "Poor people don't know when they are being mocked or insulted and I'm here to tell them." It's the same Savior Complex over and over. The nerve.

I did not hear that section that way. Aimee, the PTA president, had previously remarked that she kept quiet and seethed quietly/at home with her husband later instead of speaking out during PTA meetings. This was another situation in which she did not feel that her perspective would be heard (whether she was correct in that assumption or not), and instead, a white person was talking over her, not respecting her position or experience.

The podcast is obviously created to tell a certain story, but as a white woman who was the PTA president of a majority minority elementary school who had many conversations with prospective parents about their discomfort sending their child to a school with a low test scores and a lot of low income kids they perceived to have "behavior problems" or "parents who weren't invested in education", absolutely nothing I've heard on the podcast so far rings false. I was told, repeatedly, that they were supportive of public education in general, but that the district didn't do enough to make its programs appeal to "middle class people" whose children are "academically gifted." The general feeling was that the school was good enough for the Black and Latino kids who attended the school, but not good enough for the white kids with "middle class parents who were actively invested in their education."

If you find yourself getting defensive about something you heard on this podcast, you should examine why you feel that way.

Perceived? No, very real behavioral issues. Most often totally ignored by the teachers and admins.

[Anonymous]

Both episodes rang true to me. Sure, there were some communications issues that the Principal should have helped with. But there was so much other stuff that this shed light on.

The way the children responded to questions- thinking that the mere presence of white people changed the status of the school. The way the existing parents expressed that the school was good prior to the new kids arriving. The assumption that the changes in the school would be wanted by all the families. This plays out so many times in the DC elementary school scene.

And the second episode, where parents truly and honestly wanted to help, wanted to be a part of the solution, believed in the mission- in theory- but when the rubber met the road... opted out. Again... this plays out so much in DC.

I am not sure what the answer is.. and I dont think that white parents are the whole problem.. but the observations are true and happening as we speak in our city.