Nice White Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather have a podcast about school districts that are making progress and have instituted policies or changes that have led to overall improvement. Because we hear all about the problems but nothing about real solutions with concrete examples. It makes me feel like there aren't any.

I totally agree. I haven't listened yet, and it sounds interesting/entertaining but also, not to contain actually any ground breaking new information.

What do we do about it? What are the solutions? Are they scalable? Someone report back if she gets to that....

The solution is in the living room at home. Which is why there exist no government policies that will ever work, other than parental education (which itself requires parental involvement) and early intervention (which is proven to work amazingly well for as long as it continues). I know it’s impossible to believe on DCUM, but not everyone cares if their child goes to college or even graduates high school, not everyone wants to read 20 minutes per day to their children or nag them to do their homework. The best place to invest policy money is in poorer preschools. If you paid just $1000 to teach every single poor URM 4 year-old to read fluently, you would see the single greatest leap in education in a single generation.

There are free preschools available already.

I had a friend in Tennessee, the state sent free books to them every month from ages 0-5.

Most poor people know how to read at an elementary level from free public schools. I wish the solution could be as simple as reading, that actually does work in many poorer countries. But not here. This "cycle of poverty" thing in this country is uniquely American. Of course there are cycles of poverty in other countries, but it's very different than what we see here. It's not just a matter of offering a better education. A lot of people simply don't want it.

Dolly Parton is wonderful and the program has spread all over the country and all over the world.

The reaction of posters in DC was a model in rich white guilt though. They refused to sign their children up because it's a program for poor kids and they didn't want to take advantage.

That's the total opposite of my experience in life. Every DC kid (mostly UMC to rich) we do playdates with has the same collection of Dolly Parton books at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting series so far.

I'm curious as to what kind of policies she'd recommend at the end of this.

That’s the key. Right now there doesn’t seem to be a good answer that promotes equity when the people in power want to keep their advantages....

I love how people refer to not having to deal with children of color as an advantage. Or is it sharing their teacher with a kid who can't read? What advantages are we talking about here exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting series so far.

I'm curious as to what kind of policies she'd recommend at the end of this.

That’s the key. Right now there doesn’t seem to be a good answer that promotes equity when the people in power want to keep their advantages....

I love how people refer to not having to deal with children of color as an advantage. Or is it sharing their teacher with a kid who can't read? What advantages are we talking about here exactly?

+1 I am a white person who grew up poor. My parents made every effort to put me in the best public schools they could, and that meant I had to get good grades and work hard and skip TV. When I got to high school and there was no good high school in our area, they saved every penny to put me in private school. My family was neither wealthy nor powerful, but having supportive parents who insist on a good education and expect good grades is a bigger advantage than money, race or power.

[Anonymous]

“ And, back on topic, I hope the podcast creator offers similar solutions / resources instead of just telling the story of the problems.”

She will not. That is not her approach based on listening to other pieces she has done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting series so far.

I'm curious as to what kind of policies she'd recommend at the end of this.

That’s the key. Right now there doesn’t seem to be a good answer that promotes equity when the people in power want to keep their advantages....

I love how people refer to not having to deal with children of color as an advantage. Or is it sharing their teacher with a kid who can't read? What advantages are we talking about here exactly?

None of the challenges here have anything to do with “just” skin color. This is an SES problem. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting series so far.

I'm curious as to what kind of policies she'd recommend at the end of this.

That’s the key. Right now there doesn’t seem to be a good answer that promotes equity when the people in power want to keep their advantages....

I love how people refer to not having to deal with children of color as an advantage. Or is it sharing their teacher with a kid who can't read? What advantages are we talking about here exactly?

+1 I am a white person who grew up poor. My parents made every effort to put me in the best public schools they could, and that meant I had to get good grades and work hard and skip TV. When I got to high school and there was no good high school in our area, they saved every penny to put me in private school. My family was neither wealthy nor powerful, but having supportive parents who insist on a good education and expect good grades is a bigger advantage than money, race or power.

I don't think 'poor' means what you think it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone written Nice Asian Parents yet? Or Competitive Indian Parents? Or Demanding Russian Parents? Or are they exempt from the consequences of their parenting, which is exactly the same as UMC white people?

The difference is that they’re faaaaar less hypocritical about it. They don’t go on and on about how black lives matter or post those “no matter where you’re from you’re welcome here” signs in front of their house or make their “liberal” political views a personality trait only to turn around and shelter their kids from poor minorities like white people in say, Bethesda or N Arlington do.

The difference is, as an immigrant parent (Russian, but not demanding), I don’t have the resources and connections white UMC parents have. I did not go to a college with a now-dean of a great SLAC, my child can’t get a recommendation from an influential neighbor, and my child’s friends’ parents are mostly immigrants like us. I could not get an internship at a law office where my roommate’s mom worked. I don't have a trust fund or savings.
I used a portion of my grad school stipend to help my parents. No way I could raise the amount of money cited in the podcast. Who should I call, my immigrant best friend from Vietnam?

The only resource I have is education. My entire salary goes toward special ed services and tutors for my one 2e child and some fancy music lessons for the other one. My kids will rely on their scores and performance; that’s the only resource we can provide. The same goes for all other immigrants.

Many Americans helped me get where I am now, white, Black, and Jewish. I make sure to pay (literally) forward.

[Anonymous]

I must listen to this podcast! My husband and I sent our child to a DCPS elementary school in which there were only 2 other white children in the grade. White students were the minorities. It was great! I really do not understand what on earth white people are afraid of?! We found the children were wonderful and their parents wanted exactly the same things. It was a great experience so much so my husband and I want to really start fighting for more integration in DCPS. Racism needs to end!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I must listen to this podcast! My husband and I sent our child to a DCPS elementary school in which there were only 2 other white children in the grade. White students were the minorities. It was great! I really do not understand what on earth white people are afraid of?! We found the children were wonderful and their parents wanted exactly the same things. It was a great experience so much so my husband and I want to really start fighting for more integration in DCPS. Racism needs to end!

I really really really hope you stay but you won't. You are in second. There have been hundreds if not thousands before you and they all eventually leave.

I don't blame them, the issues start to crop up in the later middle school years, the middle schools in DC area terrible

Like another poster said UMC of all races would leave. Don't be a martyr, do what's best for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I must listen to this podcast! My husband and I sent our child to a DCPS elementary school in which there were only 2 other white children in the grade. White students were the minorities. It was great! I really do not understand what on earth white people are afraid of?! We found the children were wonderful and their parents wanted exactly the same things. It was a great experience so much so my husband and I want to really start fighting for more integration in DCPS. Racism needs to end!

What's stopping you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather have a podcast about school districts that are making progress and have instituted policies or changes that have led to overall improvement. Because we hear all about the problems but nothing about real solutions with concrete examples. It makes me feel like there aren't any.

I totally agree. I haven't listened yet, and it sounds interesting/entertaining but also, not to contain actually any ground breaking new information.

What do we do about it? What are the solutions? Are they scalable? Someone report back if she gets to that....

The solution is in the living room at home. Which is why there exist no government policies that will ever work, other than parental education (which itself requires parental involvement) and early intervention (which is proven to work amazingly well for as long as it continues). I know it’s impossible to believe on DCUM, but not everyone cares if their child goes to college or even graduates high school, not everyone wants to read 20 minutes per day to their children or nag them to do their homework. The best place to invest policy money is in poorer preschools. If you paid just $1000 to teach every single poor URM 4 year-old to read fluently, you would see the single greatest leap in education in a single generation.

The school district in my city was taken over last year by the state. By the numbers, it's probably one of the worst districts in the country. As in any district there are parents who don't care about education, but I talk to many students and parents who came here specifically because they thought their kids would get a good education in an American school, go to college, live the American dream. I even talk to students who were sent here by their parents to stay with other family members or family friends to get an education. 90% of students are low-income, 80% are kids of color, 35% are english learners (DOJ sued the district for not providing appropriate EL Services]. We have families in which the parents are not literate in any language. Families that speak indigenous languages. I work for a small college prep program. We operate bilingually in English/Spanish and can provide services in 3 other languages, but it gets really tough with smaller language groups.

I'm highly educated and not wealthy, but doing okay. I've tried 2x to get my child services through the district (she was in EI for her first 3 years). I was told that there are too many kids further behind. I know that's not how IDEA works, but I also know that if I fight and win, I'm probably taking those services from a kid with fewer resouces. So I pay out of pocket for the support the school should be providing. If I didn't have money, an understanding of the system, a sense of what my child is/isn't learning, and where my kid is academically compared to here peers my kid would not be making progress. Here issues cannot be solved by reading at home, lots of books, or even parent teaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else listening to the new Serial podcast?

It reflects a lot of the thinking on this forum and what's going on in MoCo, for example, with its boundary study that will likely not result in any change. The first two episodes really underscore the tension of white liberal parents talking and pushing for reforms (often over the voices of POC) and then not actually walking the talk because it will disadvantage their own children...

Other thoughts?

Wasn’t there a very high profile DC activist who for years shamed white parents for sending their kids to charters and privates (and moving to burbs)... then when his oldest kid got of age, he was exposed as a naked hypocrite?

[Anonymous]

It will be very interesting to see what Nikole Hannah Jones chooses as her daughter gets older.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't believe the first episode! I thought it was going to be totally different based on the reviews.

I don't think these white parents did anything wrong except not being more inclusive to the parents who were already there. But a. the school was struggling to attract new students, b. the media is telling white people how bad and racist we are all the time, how wrong it is to move to the suburbs (white flight), how wrong it is to send your kids to 40-50k a year private schools etc. etc. and here these parents actually send their kids to the neighborhood school, c. they fundraise on their own to put into place the new program they want. At least they weren't using the PTA's money for it.

What do you want white parents to do? We're bad if we move to the suburbs, we're bad if we send our kids to private school, and now we're also bad if we send our kids to the neighborhood school and get involved in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't believe the first episode! I thought it was going to be totally different based on the reviews.

I don't think these white parents did anything wrong except not being more inclusive to the parents who were already there. But a. the school was struggling to attract new students, b. the media is telling white people how bad and racist we are all the time, how wrong it is to move to the suburbs (white flight), how wrong it is to send your kids to 40-50k a year private schools etc. etc. and here these parents actually send their kids to the neighborhood school, c. they fundraise on their own to put into place the new program they want. At least they weren't using the PTA's money for it.

What do you want white parents to do? We're bad if we move to the suburbs, we're bad if we send our kids to private school, and now we're also bad if we send our kids to the neighborhood school and get involved in it.

You answered your own question.