Nice White Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't believe the first episode! I thought it was going to be totally different based on the reviews.

I don't think these white parents did anything wrong except not being more inclusive to the parents who were already there. But a. the school was struggling to attract new students, b. the media is telling white people how bad and racist we are all the time, how wrong it is to move to the suburbs (white flight), how wrong it is to send your kids to 40-50k a year private schools etc. etc. and here these parents actually send their kids to the neighborhood school, c. they fundraise on their own to put into place the new program they want. At least they weren't using the PTA's money for it.

What do you want white parents to do? We're bad if we move to the suburbs, we're bad if we send our kids to private school, and now we're also bad if we send our kids to the neighborhood school and get involved in it.

There’s nothing you can do. That’s the point of their attacks. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Blaming white (and Asian?) folks for failed schools is and always has been a crock of ****.

It's really not that hard! Instead of acting like you and your kids are better than others, just treat all families with respect, try to listen to and understand people of other races and backgrounds rather than making assumptions that you're always right and you always need to be at the center of everything, and value all kids and advocate for policies that benefit all kids not just your own. In other words, just be a decent human being!

[Anonymous]

People don't change. Trying to coach up parents who don't care and dim/lazy faculty and dim/lazy/job-hopping admins does not work. Been there, done that. It's a totally futile pursuit.

And I really don't get the obsession with urban schools. At least inner-cities have access to low-skill job markets. There are plenty of low-resource, high-need white majority schools in downtrodden middle of nowhere places around the US, with few jobs to speak of for the average graduating 12th grader. How come NYT/Atlantic/NPR spend literally zero time pontificating on their issues? Why don't we shame rich white and Asian professionals for not moving to West Virginia and Mississippi?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How come NYT/Atlantic/NPR spend literally zero time pontificating on their issues? Why don't we shame rich white and Asian professionals for not moving to West Virginia and Mississippi?

for the same reason that admitting a white kid from a trailer park in coal country doesn't move the needle for diversity numbers - no one cares about them

[Anonymous]

The only thing that motivates public school admins is $$$ and getting their mug in a puff piece article that can add to their CV. By and large they do not care. They want to do as little as possible and spend more working hours than they'd ever admit editing their CV and hunting for job-hopping prospects.

[Anonymous]

What do you want white parents to do? We're bad if we move to the suburbs, we're bad if we send our kids to private school, and now we're also bad if we send our kids to the neighborhood school and get involved in it.

Don't forget that if you speak up on behalf of or take action to help brown and black students, you will be accused of having a white savior complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both episodes rang true to me. Sure, there were some communications issues that the Principal should have helped with. But there was so much other stuff that this shed light on.

The way the children responded to questions- thinking that the mere presence of white people changed the status of the school. The way the existing parents expressed that the school was good prior to the new kids arriving. The assumption that the changes in the school would be wanted by all the families. This plays out so many times in the DC elementary school scene.

And the second episode, where parents truly and honestly wanted to help, wanted to be a part of the solution, believed in the mission- in theory- but when the rubber met the road... opted out. Again... this plays out so much in DC.

I am not sure what the answer is.. and I dont think that white parents are the whole problem.. but the observations are true and happening as we speak in our city.

You may not like the answers of the children in that first episode, but there happened to be some truth to what they said.

There was a PP earlier in the thread who had sent a child to that school. According to the PP, the school was about to be closed.

The arrival of Rob and his cohort of white families solved that issue. Now, could the school have limped along and recovered a different way? Maybe? Possibly? But with the arrival of that cohort the school didn't have to worry about its survival anymore.

I think some credit needs to be given to those families there for choosing to reverse the trend. They literally helped save the school.

They also, for good or for bad, helped change the status of the school. The school somehow managed to reverse white flight. The middle school is 47% white in a public school district that's 15% white. The high school is still 41% black/29% Hispanic, but if things continue to trend in this direction it may become a majority white school, for good or bad.

How many times have you seen that happen?

I'm sure we'll hear more about it from the series.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see a difference between what the "nice white parents" did, and how the author decided that the Mom from Puerto Rico should have been offended/stood up for herself when the older woman was yammering on about speaking two languages at the French party. "Poor people don't know when they are being mocked or insulted and I'm here to tell them." It's the same Savior Complex over and over. The nerve.

I did not hear that section that way. Aimee, the PTA president, had previously remarked that she kept quiet and seethed quietly/at home with her husband later instead of speaking out during PTA meetings. This was another situation in which she did not feel that her perspective would be heard (whether she was correct in that assumption or not), and instead, a white person was talking over her, not respecting her position or experience.

The podcast is obviously created to tell a certain story, but as a white woman who was the PTA president of a majority minority elementary school who had many conversations with prospective parents about their discomfort sending their child to a school with a low test scores and a lot of low income kids they perceived to have "behavior problems" or "parents who weren't invested in education", absolutely nothing I've heard on the podcast so far rings false. I was told, repeatedly, that they were supportive of public education in general, but that the district didn't do enough to make its programs appeal to "middle class people" whose children are "academically gifted." The general feeling was that the school was good enough for the Black and Latino kids who attended the school, but not good enough for the white kids with "middle class parents who were actively invested in their education."

If you find yourself getting defensive about something you heard on this podcast, you should examine why you feel that way.

Perceived? No, very real behavioral issues. Most often totally ignored by the teachers and admins.

1) In DC, when I had these conversations, the comments on behavior issues did not come from any personal observations of children in the school. They were based usually on things they heard from other people, some of whom had also not directly observed anything.

2) Have you been in a middle school before? In my experience, as someone who worked in middle schools, things are often pretty chaotic. Even in great middle schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else listening to the new Serial podcast?

It reflects a lot of the thinking on this forum and what's going on in MoCo, for example, with its boundary study that will likely not result in any change. The first two episodes really underscore the tension of white liberal parents talking and pushing for reforms (often over the voices of POC) and then not actually walking the talk because it will disadvantage their own children...

Other thoughts?

Wasn’t there a very high profile DC activist who for years shamed white parents for sending their kids to charters and privates (and moving to burbs)... then when his oldest kid got of age, he was exposed as a naked hypocrite?

Maybe you're thinking of Every Democrat President?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else listening to the new Serial podcast?

It reflects a lot of the thinking on this forum and what's going on in MoCo, for example, with its boundary study that will likely not result in any change. The first two episodes really underscore the tension of white liberal parents talking and pushing for reforms (often over the voices of POC) and then not actually walking the talk because it will disadvantage their own children...

Other thoughts?

Wasn’t there a very high profile DC activist who for years shamed white parents for sending their kids to charters and privates (and moving to burbs)... then when his oldest kid got of age, he was exposed as a naked hypocrite?

Maybe you're thinking of Every Democrat President?

https://twitter.com/joeweedon

still tone deaf as ever

[Anonymous]

Today’s episode was a little slow but I think the most important line came at the end — schools cater to white parents even when they’re not there.

Today’s episode got into how white parents actually we’re a big reason SIS ended up failing before Rob the savior came in...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else listening to the new Serial podcast?

It reflects a lot of the thinking on this forum and what's going on in MoCo, for example, with its boundary study that will likely not result in any change. The first two episodes really underscore the tension of white liberal parents talking and pushing for reforms (often over the voices of POC) and then not actually walking the talk because it will disadvantage their own children...

Other thoughts?

Wasn’t there a very high profile DC activist who for years shamed white parents for sending their kids to charters and privates (and moving to burbs)... then when his oldest kid got of age, he was exposed as a naked hypocrite?

Maybe you're thinking of Every Democrat President?

Chelsea Clinton - Sidwell Friends

Sasha Obama - Sidwell Friends

Malia Obama - Sidwell Friends

Alexandra Pelosi - Parochial elementary school

Caroline Kennedy - Sacred Heart School

John F. Kennedy, Jr. - St. David’s School, Collegiate School

I could go on, but you get the point.

[Anonymous]

Can someone summarize why it's "racist" to avoid sending your white (or Asian?) child to a crummy school, that happens to be majority minority? And dovetailing, how does a lack of white (and Asian?) students make a minority majority school disadvantaged?

I honestly don't get this argument.

And correct me if I'm wrong, Wilson would naturally become VERY white but DCPS busses in kids so it doesn't, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone summarize why it's "racist" to avoid sending your white (or Asian?) child to a crummy school, that happens to be majority minority? And dovetailing, how does a lack of white (and Asian?) students make a minority majority school disadvantaged?

I honestly don't get this argument.

And correct me if I'm wrong, Wilson would naturally become VERY white but DCPS busses in kids so it doesn't, right?

You are very uninformed about Wilson so please stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone summarize why it's "racist" to avoid sending your white (or Asian?) child to a crummy school, that happens to be majority minority? And dovetailing, how does a lack of white (and Asian?) students make a minority majority school disadvantaged?

I honestly don't get this argument.

And correct me if I'm wrong, Wilson would naturally become VERY white but DCPS busses in kids so it doesn't, right?

And while you're at it, maybe revisit Brown vs. Board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love it love it love it. I love that it exposes the hypocrisy of rich white parents who say they are sending their kids to a "lower performing" elementary school because they love diversity, but then their kid ends up in the all-white "gifted" class. Or they say that "all you need to do" is stay on top of the teachers/administrators to make sure they are giving your child extra challenge, etc., which really means you are stealing resources from the underprivileged kids at the school who actually need them. It really is gentification.

If this rich white parent that you describe here is the villain of this scenario, then please describe the behavior of the rich white parent who navigates this “correctly” in your mind. No really. It would be helpful to understand how an ally can truly be an ally. Because it kinda seems like leaving for private school is the only acceptable way to get out of the crosshairs here.