Kid's friends want to be police officers -- how to handle

[Anonymous]

When I was in first grade I wanted to be a strawberry picker. Actually I might have liked doing that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we had something similar happen at our pre-K graduation (live, via Zoom). The teachers had asked each child what s/he wanted to be and they reported the answers when each child was recognized.

Of 35 kids, probably 5-7 wanted to be police officers. All white, all boys.

We didn't discuss it in relationship to the graduation. We have talked to our son about what happened to George Floyd and we have been to protests of it together. He's seen police drive by our protests and honk in support. He's seen police drive by and scowl. He will get it all, eventually.

I would not engage or critique the pre-K kids' aspirations, with them or with their parents, as a path to helping your kid grapple with the issues posed by the racist overpolicing of our society. Adults with power are the people to address. Have your kid see you doing that.

I actually think this situation merits further investigation. What’s happening in the classroom such that so many kids are coming away wanting to be cops? Seems concerning to me.

It was two classrooms, and I don't think there is anything so surprising about this. Kids have no power, and in pre-K they are constantly angling for how to get some. Whining, wheedling, negotiating...and dreaming about having a job where everyone has to listen to them and what they say goes.

The glorification of policing to young kids is real and it's pretty pervasive. Shows, toys, even clothing--it's surprising how hard it can be to avoid clothes and toys that are cop-themed. You might not notice unless you're trying to avoid these themes.

That was my fear. I think it is worth talking to the teacher and asking the school to be more conscious of what police-themed media the kids are being exposed to.

You HAVE to be a troll. They are being exposed to POSITIVE police models. You can't honestly think this is bad.

OP here. (I haven't been here in hours, so there are some other people who share at least some of my concerns.)

I don't think it is bad for them to be exposed to positive police models. I do question whether it is appropriate for parents to share these uniformly pro-police videos at this particular moment in history. Maybe if this had happened a month ago or a month from now, it wouldn't rub me quite the same way. But, at this moment, when the country as a whole is finally waking up to the need for serious police reform given many abuses (which is not the same as saying all cops are bad), it seems somewhat in bad taste to share these videos with the whole class where people will have very different personal experiences with the police and could be viewed as a subtle rebuke of the current movement for change.

OP, where have you been? I am not downplaying the seriousness of what happened to George Floyd, but you are acting like this is the first issue we have seen with the cops going after blacks? I mean, have you been living under a rock for your entire life? This is also part of what likely rubs people the wrong way - you're acting like all of a sudden this is a problem, which is horrifyingly misinformed.

An earlier post made very clear that I am fully aware of the history of police abuse and have no delusions that what occurred is anything unique.

But, what is unique is that people seem to finally really be paying attention and there is actually a groundswell of support for making change, hopefully of a meaningful variety. MSP voted to disband their police department. Many other municipalities are voting to defund their police and make other meaningful reforms. However, it is critical that people remain vigilant and make sure that the current momentum the movement enjoys doesn't whither as people move on to different things.

After Ferguson or other police abuses, there were protests and those on the fringe left pushed for reforms. But those protests never captured centrists and those on the center left and therefore never really had the opportunity to make a tangible difference.

So, to take an arguably hostile step at this time, when real change may be possible, is particular concerning.

[Anonymous]

Wait, OP... are you saying that parents sharing videos of their preschool children saying they want to be police officers as part of a class project on what children want to be when they grow up,is a “hostile step”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, OP... are you saying that parents sharing videos of their preschool children saying they want to be police officers as part of a class project on what children want to be when they grow up,is a “hostile step”?

PP here. It’s obviously hostile. It’s the equivalent of “all lives matter.”

[Anonymous]

I will say that if this were me, I would have redirected my child if this was post-Floyd's death, because I wouldn't have wanted people to think I was sending some kind of message. If I had sent in the video and it had not yet been shared, I would have gone back and forth on whether to ask the teacher to share a substitute video instead; I probably would have, but realize that would have been way more awkward.

I'm lucky my kid wants to be a lawyer, specifically so she can come to the office and eat the same lunch as me every day.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP, I hope you will read my comment. I think you mean well and are trying to save kid some embarrassment in present day climate. However, what you are actually proposing is censoring a preschooler's assignment. Telling the kid that there is a right assignment and the unacceptable assignment. What kind of societies control kids' homework and thought process? Isn't that exactly what you are against when protest against police violence? Isn't that exactly what much of the fight between democrats and Trump supporters is about? I think leader is trying to institute a dictatorships, and his supporters think that democrats are trying to institute dictatorships.
If we start telling our kids that you can only think this way when they are in preschool, what are we doing exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do realize that not all cops are bad, right? This is insane

+1

[Anonymous]

OP here. (I haven't been here in hours, so there are some other people who share at least some of my concerns.)

I don't think it is bad for them to be exposed to positive police models. I do question whether it is appropriate for parents to share these uniformly pro-police videos at this particular moment in history. Maybe if this had happened a month ago or a month from now, it wouldn't rub me quite the same way. But, at this moment, when the country as a whole is finally waking up to the need for serious police reform given many abuses (which is not the same as saying all cops are bad), it seems somewhat in bad taste to share these videos with the whole class where people will have very different personal experiences with the police and could be viewed as a subtle rebuke of the current movement for change.


OP, where have you been? I am not downplaying the seriousness of what happened to George Floyd, but you are acting like this is the first issue we have seen with the cops going after blacks? I mean, have you been living under a rock for your entire life? This is also part of what likely rubs people the wrong way - you're acting like all of a sudden this is a problem, which is horrifyingly misinformed.


An earlier post made very clear that I am fully aware of the history of police abuse and have no delusions that what occurred is anything unique.

But, what is unique is that people seem to finally really be paying attention and there is actually a groundswell of support for making change, hopefully of a meaningful variety. MSP voted to disband their police department. Many other municipalities are voting to defund their police and make other meaningful reforms. However, it is critical that people remain vigilant and make sure that the current momentum the movement enjoys doesn't whither as people move on to different things.

After Ferguson or other police abuses, there were protests and those on the fringe left pushed for reforms. But those protests never captured centrists and those on the center left and therefore never really had the opportunity to make a tangible difference.

So, to take an arguably hostile step at this time, when real change may be possible, is particular concerning.

OP, I am going to come at this at a slightly different approach. I disagree with you on whether it was inappropriate for these parents to include their children's statements to this effect in a preschool video. However, the rights and wrongs of these matter less than your entitled approach that these people owe you a dialogue justifying their decision. They don't. These are parents of kids who happen to go to the same preschool who you know casually. They don't have to justify themselves to you. You are certainly allowed to privately disapprove of their decision, which, at best, the rights of which are debatable among reasonable minds. Let these people alone and put your energy toward something more constructive. Volunteer, give money to support BLM, donate to bail funds. Let this go.

[Anonymous]

This IS a troll! Don't feed it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. (I haven't been here in hours, so there are some other people who share at least some of my concerns.)

I don't think it is bad for them to be exposed to positive police models. I do question whether it is appropriate for parents to share these uniformly pro-police videos at this particular moment in history. Maybe if this had happened a month ago or a month from now, it wouldn't rub me quite the same way. But, at this moment, when the country as a whole is finally waking up to the need for serious police reform given many abuses (which is not the same as saying all cops are bad), it seems somewhat in bad taste to share these videos with the whole class where people will have very different personal experiences with the police and could be viewed as a subtle rebuke of the current movement for change.


OP, where have you been? I am not downplaying the seriousness of what happened to George Floyd, but you are acting like this is the first issue we have seen with the cops going after blacks? I mean, have you been living under a rock for your entire life? This is also part of what likely rubs people the wrong way - you're acting like all of a sudden this is a problem, which is horrifyingly misinformed.


An earlier post made very clear that I am fully aware of the history of police abuse and have no delusions that what occurred is anything unique.

But, what is unique is that people seem to finally really be paying attention and there is actually a groundswell of support for making change, hopefully of a meaningful variety. MSP voted to disband their police department. Many other municipalities are voting to defund their police and make other meaningful reforms. However, it is critical that people remain vigilant and make sure that the current momentum the movement enjoys doesn't whither as people move on to different things.

After Ferguson or other police abuses, there were protests and those on the fringe left pushed for reforms. But those protests never captured centrists and those on the center left and therefore never really had the opportunity to make a tangible difference.

So, to take an arguably hostile step at this time, when real change may be possible, is particular concerning.

OP, I am going to come at this at a slightly different approach. I disagree with you on whether it was inappropriate for these parents to include their children's statements to this effect in a preschool video. However, the rights and wrongs of these matter less than your entitled approach that these people owe you a dialogue justifying their decision. They don't. These are parents of kids who happen to go to the same preschool who you know casually. They don't have to justify themselves to you. You are certainly allowed to privately disapprove of their decision, which, at best, the rights of which are debatable among reasonable minds. Let these people alone and put your energy toward something more constructive. Volunteer, give money to support BLM, donate to bail funds. Let this go.

I've never said that they owe me a conversation. I've said that I think it was of questionable judgement to use those particular videos at this specific moment in time. I think it could send a message, likely unintended but who knows, that they do not support BLM and current police efforts. I've said I have considered reaching out to try to talk to them to see if that was their intent and to generally have a dialogue on these issues.

But, even if I were to reach out, I've never suggested that they had any obligation to talk to me or agree with me. As some on this thread have suggested, they would be free to hang up, disagree with me to my face, disagree with me privately, or any other reaction that they wanted.

I have offered my opinion and reaction to what they have done. You can obviously disagree with me as others have, but let's not make stuff up and say that they have an obligation to speak to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, OP... are you saying that parents sharing videos of their preschool children saying they want to be police officers as part of a class project on what children want to be when they grow up,is a “hostile step”?

PP here. It’s obviously hostile. It’s the equivalent of “all lives matter.”

You are a horrible person. Being a police officer is a helping profession and there are many good police officers so do good every day. You cannot blame a few bad seeds for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, OP... are you saying that parents sharing videos of their preschool children saying they want to be police officers as part of a class project on what children want to be when they grow up,is a “hostile step”?

PP here. It’s obviously hostile. It’s the equivalent of “all lives matter.”

You are a horrible person. Being a police officer is a helping profession and there are many good police officers so do good every day. You cannot blame a few bad seeds for all.

It seems like current efforts to disband and defund the police are doing just that, no?

[Anonymous]

I've never said that they owe me a conversation. I've said that I think it was of questionable judgement to use those particular videos at this specific moment in time. I think it could send a message, likely unintended but who knows, that they do not support BLM and current police efforts. I've said I have considered reaching out to try to talk to them to see if that was their intent and to generally have a dialogue on these issues.

But, even if I were to reach out, I've never suggested that they had any obligation to talk to me or agree with me. As some on this thread have suggested, they would be free to hang up, disagree with me to my face, disagree with me privately, or any other reaction that they wanted.

I have offered my opinion and reaction to what they have done. You can obviously disagree with me as others have, but let's not make stuff up and say that they have an obligation to speak to me.

Cool. Except, I certainly think reasonable people could read your posts that way for the following reasons:

Should this change the degree to which I let me kid play with those kids, or should it change my interactions with the parents?

It seems most people think I would be out of line reaching out to them to discuss it, although more recently there have been some people who seem to share my concern. Whether that would mean they think I should start a dialogue about this or not is unclear.

In any event, you seem genuinely concerned about police brutality, which is great. I am sure that there is a much more productive outlet for you then DCUM and this video. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I've never said that they owe me a conversation. I've said that I think it was of questionable judgement to use those particular videos at this specific moment in time. I think it could send a message, likely unintended but who knows, that they do not support BLM and current police efforts. I've said I have considered reaching out to try to talk to them to see if that was their intent and to generally have a dialogue on these issues.

But, even if I were to reach out, I've never suggested that they had any obligation to talk to me or agree with me. As some on this thread have suggested, they would be free to hang up, disagree with me to my face, disagree with me privately, or any other reaction that they wanted.

Sorry, but I honestly think that just asking the question about their intent and to have a "dialogue" is presumptuous. By way of analogy, I have a son who is gender non-conforming. If someone reached out to me and asked me about my "intent" in allowing him to dress and wear his hair in a gender non-conforming manner, and to have a "dialogue" with them, I would feel like they were putting me in position where I was forced to try to justify myself and coming from a place of entitlement to that explanation.

In any event, you are clearly firm in the rightness of your position that the parents' action was improper, and you have explained your view. People here have told you that, for the most part, they disagree that the video was wrong. Some have agreed with you. I don't know what you are seeking here.

[Anonymous]

The kids specified that they wanted to be police officers so they could help people? How on earth is this objectionable, PRECISELY because of the current climate? They probably just got it from Peppa Pig anyway. Good Lord.

My 4 year old's top two career goals at the moment are to be a fairy or a unicorn. I'm leaning all the way in.