Kid's friends want to be police officers -- how to handle

[Anonymous]

My Pre K son wants to be- an astronomer, an astronaut, a doctor, a firefighter, and the president. He wants to be all of these things at the same time. Then he got teary eyed because he was worried he wouldn't ever have time to play if he did all of these things at once. I was like, omg, never mind and I am sorry I asked, did not mean to start an existential crisis.

If he had said he wanted to be a policeman, great.

I also like the flamingo idea from a few pages back.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP, we had something similar happen at our pre-K graduation (live, via Zoom). The teachers had asked each child what s/he wanted to be and they reported the answers when each child was recognized.

Of 35 kids, probably 5-7 wanted to be police officers. All white, all boys.

We didn't discuss it in relationship to the graduation. We have talked to our son about what happened to George Floyd and we have been to protests of it together. He's seen police drive by our protests and honk in support. He's seen police drive by and scowl. He will get it all, eventually.

I would not engage or critique the pre-K kids' aspirations, with them or with their parents, as a path to helping your kid grapple with the issues posed by the racist overpolicing of our society. Adults with power are the people to address. Have your kid see you doing that.

I actually think this situation merits further investigation. What’s happening in the classroom such that so many kids are coming away wanting to be cops? Seems concerning to me.

It was two classrooms, and I don't think there is anything so surprising about this. Kids have no power, and in pre-K they are constantly angling for how to get some. Whining, wheedling, negotiating...and dreaming about having a job where everyone has to listen to them and what they say goes.

The glorification of policing to young kids is real and it's pretty pervasive. Shows, toys, even clothing--it's surprising how hard it can be to avoid clothes and toys that are cop-themed. You might not notice unless you're trying to avoid these themes.

That was my fear. I think it is worth talking to the teacher and asking the school to be more conscious of what police-themed media the kids are being exposed to.

You HAVE to be a troll. They are being exposed to POSITIVE police models. You can't honestly think this is bad.

OP here. (I haven't been here in hours, so there are some other people who share at least some of my concerns.)

I don't think it is bad for them to be exposed to positive police models. I do question whether it is appropriate for parents to share these uniformly pro-police videos at this particular moment in history. Maybe if this had happened a month ago or a month from now, it wouldn't rub me quite the same way. But, at this moment, when the country as a whole is finally waking up to the need for serious police reform given many abuses (which is not the same as saying all cops are bad), it seems somewhat in bad taste to share these videos with the whole class where people will have very different personal experiences with the police and could be viewed as a subtle rebuke of the current movement for change.

OP- Read this: PRESCHOOL!!!! A 4 year old is not making a "subtle rebuke of the current movement for change." And the parents are being encouraging of a FOUR YEAR OLD'S aspirations, like those that want to be giraffes and unicorns.

OP- 12 pages of posters disagree with you, a rare consensus on DCUM save one other person. Get over yourself and do something productive! (And productive is not lecturing a 4 year old's parent for a preschool video saying he wants to help others). You are giving a bad image to the whole BLM movement!!!!

[Anonymous]

This is insane. Kids have plenty of years to become jaded. They don’t need to know all the ugly facts of life at 4.

[Anonymous]

I'm just shocked by OP and her views, which go beyond ignorance and are in the realm of bigotry. Can you imagine someone hating you because of the actions of someone else? That's disturbing.

It also shows a total lack of critical thinking if you think you know anything about law enforcement and the issues and problems facing law enforcement.

No other profession is scrutinized like law enforcement. Doctors kill thousands of people every year and nobody cares. Their mistakes aren't on video. And even if they were, they wouldn't be exciting or dramatic.

[Anonymous]

PP here. It’s obviously hostile. It’s the equivalent of “all lives matter.” (quote)

But don't they?

[Anonymous]

We need some positive depictions of police because we should hope the departments can recruit more black officers, women, and other officers of color. When you have a police department that looks like the community it serves, you have a better shot at equitable police work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just shocked by OP and her views, which go beyond ignorance and are in the realm of bigotry. Can you imagine someone hating you because of the actions of someone else? That's disturbing.

It also shows a total lack of critical thinking if you think you know anything about law enforcement and the issues and problems facing law enforcement.

No other profession is scrutinized like law enforcement. Doctors kill thousands of people every year and nobody cares. Their mistakes aren't on video. And even if they were, they wouldn't be exciting or dramatic.

Oh yes, those poor persecuted police officers. So much unfairness coming their way. You are almost making me think OP is on to something legitimate.

[Anonymous]

This is an AMAZING troll post. Kudos to you, OP.

(Also, you're an ass).

[Anonymous]

Question for OP: What did your child say he/she wanted to be? What did some of the other children say?

FWIW, my 4 year old wants to be a butterfly when she grows up so she can fly. Are you going to tell me that I really should be encouraging her to be a pilot or astronaut instead?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just shocked by OP and her views, which go beyond ignorance and are in the realm of bigotry. Can you imagine someone hating you because of the actions of someone else? That's disturbing.

It also shows a total lack of critical thinking if you think you know anything about law enforcement and the issues and problems facing law enforcement.

No other profession is scrutinized like law enforcement. Doctors kill thousands of people every year and nobody cares. Their mistakes aren't on video. And even if they were, they wouldn't be exciting or dramatic.

Oh yes, those poor persecuted police officers. So much unfairness coming their way. You are almost making me think OP is on to something legitimate.

What makes you think that you know what you are talking about? MSNBC? Social media? YouTube?

[Anonymous]

My 4yr old want. to be a swim instructor and she doesn’t even like swimming lessons.

[Anonymous]

OP, you still haven’t answered the question about what exactly you are doing to further the dismantling of social injustice and police brutality other than stewing over a four-year old’s hypothetical career choice. I’ll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, I hope you will read my comment. I think you mean well and are trying to save kid some embarrassment in present day climate. However, what you are actually proposing is censoring a preschooler's assignment. Telling the kid that there is a right assignment and the unacceptable assignment. What kind of societies control kids' homework and thought process? Isn't that exactly what you are against when protest against police violence? Isn't that exactly what much of the fight between democrats and Trump supporters is about? I think leader is trying to institute a dictatorships, and his supporters think that democrats are trying to institute dictatorships.
If we start telling our kids that you can only think this way when they are in preschool, what are we doing exactly?

+1. This is my thought process exactly. I believe this problem is much more insidious and dangerous than anything else at this point in time. Has anyone stopped to consider the long term consequences of creating a society that only allows one form of thought or speech? The fact that someone is "offended" (someone is always offended or triggered it seems) does not constitute, in my mind, the right to ban that thought or speech. In fact, I would argue that being able to discuss or think about opposite points of view is what creates a stronger country, a stronger people, and stronger beliefs. I don't want to live in a country where everyone is the same and "someone else" is deciding what is ok, in any area. Because I'm smart enough to know that at some point, that "someone" may decide something I don't agree with. This is what living in a free country looks like. People need to chill out and stop feeling like the world guarantees them a place where they never see or hear anything with which they disagree.

I have been changed by reading and learning from people that have completely opposite viewpoints. I kept an open mind, read, learned, and formed new ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Have you considered talking to the parents?

OP, here yes. The question is whether it is appropriate and what I would say. It seems most people think I would be out of line reaching out to them to discuss it, although more recently there have been some people who seem to share my concern. Whether that would mean they think I should start a dialogue about this or not is unclear.

I'm casual friends with the parents and doubt that they intended offense or harm from the videos. I'm not looking to lecture them, but it would probably be hard to try to start a dialogue about this without it coming across as me doing so.

“Hey, I noticed in the end of year video, Larlo mentioned wanting to be a police officer. I’ve debated bringing this up with you, but I feel like so have to say something. I’m a little concerned that he expressed this given all of the recent discussion about police brutality. I’m also concerned about the effect these words might have on children of color in our class and that they might make others feel unsafe. Can you talk to me a bit about where you think this might be coming from?”

"Click."

+100. But first I would laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened to not saying anything? How is this OP's concern at all?
Maybe parents of the kid tried to tell him that right now people are not liking cops all that much? But, kid watched some show and likes police officers, or grandpa or uncle is a police officer and kids just wanted to do that? And his parents did the right thing. They let their kid do an assignment the way he wanted. Cause, that is the right thing to do, not like op that would have ordered her own kid that he cannot do what he wants.Or maybe they don't let their kid watch any tv at all, and they are keeping all protests out of the reach, hence kid, who should not be knowing a single thing about civil unrest right now, being a preschooler!did his project and parents allowed him the freedom to do what he wanted.
The only tyrant here is OP!

Or maybe the kid has more common sense that most adults and knows that "some" bad people in a group does not equal "they are all bad". Maybe he/she hasn't yet been ruined by a society that takes extreme viewpoints in everything, when it makes no sense at all.