Kid's friends want to be police officers -- how to handle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're preschoolers. Of course they want to be police officers and firemen and nurses etc. The places where they see examples most often are cartoons and books where those characters are always positive. There are no bad cops in kids books. Mr. rogers called them "helpers". Teach your kid about the world and introduce reality and what's happening as it's age appropriate.

OP here. I'll respond to this post which was constructive, unlike many posts just calling me crazy.

I understand that kids might want to be police officers and it might be too much too use this to call into question what they are generally teaching their kids because of the things you mention. That makes sense.

But it still strikes me as tone deaf to submit those videos at this moment given what the country is going through. Sure, it isn't a statement that All Lives Matter or the kid wearing a MAGA hat in the video, but I never would have submitted that video right now. And if the video was done pre-nationwide protests, they had almost two weeks to submit something different.

Why submit/stick with something that could be interpreted as thumbing your nose at the current protests and be triggering to some people?

Because it is important to remember that children believe the world can be changed? Because it is important that we foster the feeling that they can make a difference in their world, and in the world of others? That to a child, a police officer is not a politicized pawn, it is a symbol of “the helpers” that do exist. Why do you want to tell a preschooler that they should not want to be what it is that they want to be - someone They perceive strong and helpful to the people they care about.

[Anonymous]

This has to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're preschoolers. Of course they want to be police officers and firemen and nurses etc. The places where they see examples most often are cartoons and books where those characters are always positive. There are no bad cops in kids books. Mr. rogers called them "helpers". Teach your kid about the world and introduce reality and what's happening as it's age appropriate.

OP here. I'll respond to this post which was constructive, unlike many posts just calling me crazy.

I understand that kids might want to be police officers and it might be too much too use this to call into question what they are generally teaching their kids because of the things you mention. That makes sense.

But it still strikes me as tone deaf to submit those videos at this moment given what the country is going through. Sure, it isn't a statement that All Lives Matter or the kid wearing a MAGA hat in the video, but I never would have submitted that video right now. And if the video was done pre-nationwide protests, they had almost two weeks to submit something different.

Why submit/stick with something that could be interpreted as thumbing your nose at the current protests and be triggering to some people?

Because these are children, not adults, and their parents are not confusing their childlike perspective of the police with the more nuanced perspectives that grown ups have. They are not using their kids as pawns to show how woke they are.

Also, as I reflect on my child's friends, I would welcome any of them to be police officers. They would be true "good guys". If they were old enough, they are the type of people who would be joining the protests right now.

I think OP, this concern is more about you and your concern how other perceive you. Try to separate your responsibilities as an adult from the responsibilities of your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're preschoolers. Of course they want to be police officers and firemen and nurses etc. The places where they see examples most often are cartoons and books where those characters are always positive. There are no bad cops in kids books. Mr. rogers called them "helpers". Teach your kid about the world and introduce reality and what's happening as it's age appropriate.

OP here. I'll respond to this post which was constructive, unlike many posts just calling me crazy.

I understand that kids might want to be police officers and it might be too much too use this to call into question what they are generally teaching their kids because of the things you mention. That makes sense.

But it still strikes me as tone deaf to submit those videos at this moment given what the country is going through. Sure, it isn't a statement that All Lives Matter or the kid wearing a MAGA hat in the video, but I never would have submitted that video right now. And if the video was done pre-nationwide protests, they had almost two weeks to submit something different.

Why submit/stick with something that could be interpreted as thumbing your nose at the current protests and be triggering to some people?

OP, that's unfair. There were quite a few PPS who didn't call you crazy.

Some called you an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our preschool just sent around a year end video. Part of it was asking each kid what they wanted to be when they grew up. This was done at home, so the parents recorded the video. I'm not sure whether it was done pre George Floyd's death or not.

Two of the kids stated that they wanted to be police officers and talked about how they help/protect people. I'm not sure how to react.

First, should I say anything to my kid to offer a more balanced perspective, or should I just let it go? Should this change the degree to which I let me kid play with those kids, or should it change my interactions with the parents?

Especially if this was done post-Floyd murder (although let's not pretend the same thing has happened repeatedly in recent and less recent history), it seems at best tone deaf to submit those videos of the kids idolizing the police. It is very easy to redirect a five year old and I am sure the parents could have encouraged their kids to say something less controversial. I don't know whether this was intended as an overt political statement, but it is surprising they wouldn't realize how at least some people would view their kids' statements and I wonder more broadly what they are teaching their kids.

I f these are good people, you probably would prefer that they become cops over people raising their kids with racist, anti-black or anti-immigrant beliefs. We’re AA and my brother is a police officer. He’s anti-racist. I don’t want the only cops to be people who think black lives don’t matter.

[Anonymous]

I was the parent at K graduation whose kid's "what they want to be when they grow up" was a flamingo.

The teacher read each kid's name, said their favorite color, activity to do in class, and what they wanted to be out loud as they walked across the stage.

I was known as "oh, you're flamingo kid's mom" until 2nd grade.

Right now flamingo kid is 13 and wants to be either TikTok famous or a famous lawyer on TikTok like her favorite TikToker. Before she became obsessed with TikTok during the pandemic, she wanted to be a social worker. And before that she wanted to be a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're preschoolers. Of course they want to be police officers and firemen and nurses etc. The places where they see examples most often are cartoons and books where those characters are always positive. There are no bad cops in kids books. Mr. rogers called them "helpers". Teach your kid about the world and introduce reality and what's happening as it's age appropriate.

OP here. I'll respond to this post which was constructive, unlike many posts just calling me crazy.

I understand that kids might want to be police officers and it might be too much too use this to call into question what they are generally teaching their kids because of the things you mention. That makes sense.

But it still strikes me as tone deaf to submit those videos at this moment given what the country is going through. Sure, it isn't a statement that All Lives Matter or the kid wearing a MAGA hat in the video, but I never would have submitted that video right now. And if the video was done pre-nationwide protests, they had almost two weeks to submit something different.

Why submit/stick with something that could be interpreted as thumbing your nose at the current protests and be triggering to some people?

Because these are children, not adults, and their parents are not confusing their childlike perspective of the police with the more nuanced perspectives that grown ups have. They are not using their kids as pawns to show how woke they are.

Also, as I reflect on my child's friends, I would welcome any of them to be police officers. They would be true "good guys". If they were old enough, they are the type of people who would be joining the protests right now.

I think OP, this concern is more about you and your concern how other perceive you. Try to separate your responsibilities as an adult from the responsibilities of your children.

But presumably the 5 year olds did not record the video and submit it to the school. That's action by the parents and the parents should be aware of the context.

Little kids can do all sorts of things, such as make comments that could be viewed as racists or ableist, not really understanding the nuance and context. A parent can't control what is said in the moment, but you'd like to think they wouldn't broadcast one their kid's unknowing foibles for the world to see.

[Anonymous]

But presumably the 5 year olds did not record the video and submit it to the school. That's action by the parents and the parents should be aware of the context.

Little kids can do all sorts of things, such as make comments that could be viewed as racists or ableist, not really understanding the nuance and context. A parent can't control what is said in the moment, but you'd like to think they wouldn't broadcast one their kid's unknowing foibles for the world to see.

It's not a foible. It is ok to want to be a police officer. There are inherent problems in our country with racism, and overcriminalization of minor issues that don't really require police intervention or enforcement. We still need some police to enforce societal prohibitions against rape, murder, etc.

[Anonymous]

If this is real, OP, you sound truly deranged. They said they want to be cops to help people, not to kill black people or spray protesters with teargas. I'm on your side politically here, and believe there needs to be reform, but if you can't recognize that some cops do, indeed, help people, and that helping people is an admirable goal, I think there's really something wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're preschoolers. Of course they want to be police officers and firemen and nurses etc. The places where they see examples most often are cartoons and books where those characters are always positive. There are no bad cops in kids books. Mr. rogers called them "helpers". Teach your kid about the world and introduce reality and what's happening as it's age appropriate.

OP here. I'll respond to this post which was constructive, unlike many posts just calling me crazy.

I understand that kids might want to be police officers and it might be too much too use this to call into question what they are generally teaching their kids because of the things you mention. That makes sense.

But it still strikes me as tone deaf to submit those videos at this moment given what the country is going through. Sure, it isn't a statement that All Lives Matter or the kid wearing a MAGA hat in the video, but I never would have submitted that video right now. And if the video was done pre-nationwide protests, they had almost two weeks to submit something different.

Why submit/stick with something that could be interpreted as thumbing your nose at the current protests and be triggering to some people?

Because these are children, not adults, and their parents are not confusing their childlike perspective of the police with the more nuanced perspectives that grown ups have. They are not using their kids as pawns to show how woke they are.

Also, as I reflect on my child's friends, I would welcome any of them to be police officers. They would be true "good guys". If they were old enough, they are the type of people who would be joining the protests right now.

I think OP, this concern is more about you and your concern how other perceive you. Try to separate your responsibilities as an adult from the responsibilities of your children.

But presumably the 5 year olds did not record the video and submit it to the school. That's action by the parents and the parents should be aware of the context.

Little kids can do all sorts of things, such as make comments that could be viewed as racists or ableist, not really understanding the nuance and context. A parent can't control what is said in the moment, but you'd like to think they wouldn't broadcast one their kid's unknowing foibles for the world to see.

So your position is that wanting to be a cop is racist?

Lovely.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry that you’re going through this, OP. Ignore the boot lickers in this thread. It’s absolutely necessary to talk to your kids in an age-appropriate way about this.

“I heard Larla say that she wanted to be a police officer during the end of year video. A lot of people think police help people, but a lot of the time they hurt people more than they help. If I were Larla’s mommy I’d ask her to pick a different job that helps everyone.”

[Anonymous]

I'm black, have taken my kids to a couple community protests, and don't see an issue with this. We want to end systemic racism and hold bad cops accountable. We want to dismantle the current police force and build a better one. How are we going to do that without kids that grow up to be cops? We will need news, better cops in the future.

I would not micromanage what my child says they want to be when they grow up for an elementary school video.

Now if you actually know these families to be racist or otherwise problematic, then I could see why you would read into the kids' video.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our preschool just sent around a year end video. Part of it was asking each kid what they wanted to be when they grew up. This was done at home, so the parents recorded the video. I'm not sure whether it was done pre George Floyd's death or not.

Two of the kids stated that they wanted to be police officers and talked about how they help/protect people. I'm not sure how to react.

First, should I say anything to my kid to offer a more balanced perspective, or should I just let it go? Should this change the degree to which I let me kid play with those kids, or should it change my interactions with the parents?

Especially if this was done post-Floyd murder (although let's not pretend the same thing has happened repeatedly in recent and less recent history), it seems at best tone deaf to submit those videos of the kids idolizing the police. It is very easy to redirect a five year old and I am sure the parents could have encouraged their kids to say something less controversial. I don't know whether this was intended as an overt political statement, but it is surprising they wouldn't realize how at least some people would view their kids' statements and I wonder more broadly what they are teaching their kids.

You cannot be serious! You are as bad in your way as rogue cops are!

[Anonymous]

“I heard Larla say that she wanted to be a police officer during the end of year video. A lot of people think police help people, but a lot of the time they hurt people more than they help. If I were Larla’s mommy I’d ask her to pick a different job that helps everyone.”

And what job would you suggest that be? I'm sure you've read the numerous articles about many teachers disproportionately punishing black students, correct? Or many doctors taking the pain of black patients less seriously? Are those jobs "helping everyone?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our preschool just sent around a year end video. Part of it was asking each kid what they wanted to be when they grew up. This was done at home, so the parents recorded the video. I'm not sure whether it was done pre George Floyd's death or not.

Two of the kids stated that they wanted to be police officers and talked about how they help/protect people. I'm not sure how to react.

First, should I say anything to my kid to offer a more balanced perspective, or should I just let it go? Should this change the degree to which I let me kid play with those kids, or should it change my interactions with the parents?

Especially if this was done post-Floyd murder (although let's not pretend the same thing has happened repeatedly in recent and less recent history), it seems at best tone deaf to submit those videos of the kids idolizing the police. It is very easy to redirect a five year old and I am sure the parents could have encouraged their kids to say something less controversial. I don't know whether this was intended as an overt political statement, but it is surprising they wouldn't realize how at least some people would view their kids' statements and I wonder more broadly what they are teaching their kids.

If you are trying to be an ally, you are doing it wrong.