Kid's friends want to be police officers -- how to handle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - Since you have raised the topic of my son's (and one other child's) contribution to the end-of-school year video and suggested raising the topic with the parents, please do reach out. I would be happy to talk with you about the conversations I’ve had with my son, the signs we have made and books we've read, and the protest march he took part in this past weekend.

How would I know which parent you are? What are your kid's initials?

OP - why don't you call the pre-school directly to discuss this with them and maybe parents? Asking the parent of the child who -- completely innocently...I mean...the kid is 5 YEARS OLD -- to submit PII on an open forum doesn't make any sense. Personally, I don't think there's anything to discuss but if you felt so strongly you had to post something here, perhaps you should have reached out to your "casual friend" directly or through the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - Since you have raised the topic of my son's (and one other child's) contribution to the end-of-school year video and suggested raising the topic with the parents, please do reach out. I would be happy to talk with you about the conversations I’ve had with my son, the signs we have made and books we've read, and the protest march he took part in this past weekend.

How would I know which parent you are? What are your kid's initials?

REALLY????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - Since you have raised the topic of my son's (and one other child's) contribution to the end-of-school year video and suggested raising the topic with the parents, please do reach out. I would be happy to talk with you about the conversations I’ve had with my son, the signs we have made and books we've read, and the protest march he took part in this past weekend.

How would I know which parent you are? What are your kid's initials?

REALLY????

I'm not following the question. Two families submitted similar videos. Is it clear to you which family is saying they would like to discuss this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - Since you have raised the topic of my son's (and one other child's) contribution to the end-of-school year video and suggested raising the topic with the parents, please do reach out. I would be happy to talk with you about the conversations I’ve had with my son, the signs we have made and books we've read, and the protest march he took part in this past weekend.

How would I know which parent you are? What are your kid's initials?

OP - why don't you call the pre-school directly to discuss this with them and maybe parents? Asking the parent of the child who -- completely innocently...I mean...the kid is 5 YEARS OLD -- to submit PII on an open forum doesn't make any sense. Personally, I don't think there's anything to discuss but if you felt so strongly you had to post something here, perhaps you should have reached out to your "casual friend" directly or through the school.

PII from initials? That's a bit much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our preschool just sent around a year end video. Part of it was asking each kid what they wanted to be when they grew up. This was done at home, so the parents recorded the video. I'm not sure whether it was done pre George Floyd's death or not.

Two of the kids stated that they wanted to be police officers and talked about how they help/protect people. I'm not sure how to react.

First, should I say anything to my kid to offer a more balanced perspective, or should I just let it go? Should this change the degree to which I let me kid play with those kids, or should it change my interactions with the parents?

Especially if this was done post-Floyd murder (although let's not pretend the same thing has happened repeatedly in recent and less recent history), it seems at best tone deaf to submit those videos of the kids idolizing the police. It is very easy to redirect a five year old and I am sure the parents could have encouraged their kids to say something less controversial. I don't know whether this was intended as an overt political statement, but it is surprising they wouldn't realize how at least some people would view their kids' statements and I wonder more broadly what they are teaching their kids.

My daughter asked me if she could be a police officer for Halloween this year. We're black af.
There is nothing wrong with being a police officer or wanting to be a police officer. It's very likely that those kids were rightfully taught that police are there to protect people - because they ARE. The problem is that some police officers and their administration seem to have forgotten that that's their intended purpose.
Let the kids be police officers and teach them to grow up to not only be one of the good ones, but one of the good ones who enact change from within the force.

-black mom, D&I officer, National Urban League affiliate, HBCU grad, SE DC resident.

OP are you for real? This has to be a troll right, these are not even your kids! Maybe they will grow up to be the good ones, even defund the police doesn't mean let's not have police. You need to educate yourself before you have a conversation with anyone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - Since you have raised the topic of my son's (and one other child's) contribution to the end-of-school year video and suggested raising the topic with the parents, please do reach out. I would be happy to talk with you about the conversations I’ve had with my son, the signs we have made and books we've read, and the protest march he took part in this past weekend.

How would I know which parent you are? What are your kid's initials?

OP: How did you think that would land?

This way of asking, this sense of entitlement and self-centered questioning, indicates your worldview even more clearly “how would I know...?” vs “may I ask...” or “I would like to talk to you but I’m not sure...” And demanding “ID your kid” vs “was your child in a red shirt” or similar... it is really not helping your cause if you are really, truly thinking you are looking to open hearts and minds.

If you were truly interested in meeting your child’s friend’s parent as an equal in open discourse, I think your mindset would be different.

I think it is remarkable and mature that this parent, having been the topic of your assumption-laden, (in my view) mean-spirited 14+ page trolling, is reaching out to you. Perhaps consider your response in a more thoughtful way. Perhaps consider other people are reaching to you in the interest of bona fide dialogue and building bridges.

Stop posting here. Take action in the real world in a real way. Call this parent. There are only 2, you say. Go ahead and call. Your message had made its way around. People on the internet do not think you are behaving in a reasonable way. Rather than doubling down and digging your heels in and getting the same overwhelming negative reception here, maybe engage in a dialogue and you will both learn something or grow your mindset and jump to fewer conclusions in the future. Or maybe all 100+ commenters here will be proven wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - Since you have raised the topic of my son's (and one other child's) contribution to the end-of-school year video and suggested raising the topic with the parents, please do reach out. I would be happy to talk with you about the conversations I’ve had with my son, the signs we have made and books we've read, and the protest march he took part in this past weekend.

How would I know which parent you are? What are your kid's initials?

OP: How did you think that would land?

This way of asking, this sense of entitlement and self-centered questioning, indicates your worldview even more clearly “how would I know...?” vs “may I ask...” or “I would like to talk to you but I’m not sure...” And demanding “ID your kid” vs “was your child in a red shirt” or similar... it is really not helping your cause if you are really, truly thinking you are looking to open hearts and minds.

If you were truly interested in meeting your child’s friend’s parent as an equal in open discourse, I think your mindset would be different.

I think it is remarkable and mature that this parent, having been the topic of your assumption-laden, (in my view) mean-spirited 14+ page trolling, is reaching out to you. Perhaps consider your response in a more thoughtful way. Perhaps consider other people are reaching to you in the interest of bona fide dialogue and building bridges.

Stop posting here. Take action in the real world in a real way. Call this parent. There are only 2, you say. Go ahead and call. Your message had made its way around. People on the internet do not think you are behaving in a reasonable way. Rather than doubling down and digging your heels in and getting the same overwhelming negative reception here, maybe engage in a dialogue and you will both learn something or grow your mindset and jump to fewer conclusions in the future. Or maybe all 100+ commenters here will be proven wrong.

Too bad DCUM doesn't have track changes. Then you could line edit my post to use the exact phrasing you believe appropriate.

In reality, I dashed a very quick response just trying to get the info I would need to take the person up on their offer for me to reach out. I was weighing each syllable like it was my dissertation. Your idea to have asked for the shirt color, or something like that was reasonable -- I simply didn't think of it in the 15 seconds I took to respond.

Your post is also quite contradictory. You make it clear that you think I am an idiot for thinking about calling these parents. But, then you say I should just call them both since it is only two, rather than me trying to identify the person who said they were interested in talking. If my proposed action is as crazy as you claim, you should support my effort to try to reach out to only the parent who has an interest in hearing my crazy ideas and not subject both parents to my rantings.

And, since the person who said I should reach out is quite possibly not even in the class and maybe no one wants to hear my thoughts, it seems prudent of me to try to see if I can id the person who actually would be interested in talking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - Since you have raised the topic of my son's (and one other child's) contribution to the end-of-school year video and suggested raising the topic with the parents, please do reach out. I would be happy to talk with you about the conversations I’ve had with my son, the signs we have made and books we've read, and the protest march he took part in this past weekend.

How would I know which parent you are? What are your kid's initials?

OP: How did you think that would land?

This way of asking, this sense of entitlement and self-centered questioning, indicates your worldview even more clearly “how would I know...?” vs “may I ask...” or “I would like to talk to you but I’m not sure...” And demanding “ID your kid” vs “was your child in a red shirt” or similar... it is really not helping your cause if you are really, truly thinking you are looking to open hearts and minds.

If you were truly interested in meeting your child’s friend’s parent as an equal in open discourse, I think your mindset would be different.

I think it is remarkable and mature that this parent, having been the topic of your assumption-laden, (in my view) mean-spirited 14+ page trolling, is reaching out to you. Perhaps consider your response in a more thoughtful way. Perhaps consider other people are reaching to you in the interest of bona fide dialogue and building bridges.

Stop posting here. Take action in the real world in a real way. Call this parent. There are only 2, you say. Go ahead and call. Your message had made its way around. People on the internet do not think you are behaving in a reasonable way. Rather than doubling down and digging your heels in and getting the same overwhelming negative reception here, maybe engage in a dialogue and you will both learn something or grow your mindset and jump to fewer conclusions in the future. Or maybe all 100+ commenters here will be proven wrong.

Too bad DCUM doesn't have track changes. Then you could line edit my post to use the exact phrasing you believe appropriate.

In reality, I dashed a very quick response just trying to get the info I would need to take the person up on their offer for me to reach out. I was weighing each syllable like it was my dissertation. Your idea to have asked for the shirt color, or something like that was reasonable -- I simply didn't think of it in the 15 seconds I took to respond.

Your post is also quite contradictory. You make it clear that you think I am an idiot for thinking about calling these parents. But, then you say I should just call them both since it is only two, rather than me trying to identify the person who said they were interested in talking. If my proposed action is as crazy as you claim, you should support my effort to try to reach out to only the parent who has an interest in hearing my crazy ideas and not subject both parents to my rantings.

And, since the person who said I should reach out is quite possibly not even in the class and maybe no one wants to hear my thoughts, it seems prudent of me to try to see if I can id the person who actually would be interested in talking.

PP here, who asked OP “how do you think that would land?”

You didn’t think about the other person - who is reaching out in a really generous & mature way - at all. Got it.

I disagree with your reaction to this parents allowing their preschooler to express himself, yes. But I don’t personally think you’re crazy.

I do think you are very defensive and deflecting accountability for making poor assumptions about your child’s friend’s parents, and for some reason really want to stay engaged (and even escalate!) in an anonymous Internet forum instead of having real discourse in the real world, with someone you say you are friendly with!?

I think you’ve gotten some actual constructive suggestions here, call the school, call the parents, or re-examine your own assumptions, those are basically your choices.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP. You sound just about as ignorant as some of the racists I've encountered in my lifetime.

[Anonymous]

OP - Since you have raised the topic of my son's (and one other child's) contribution to the end-of-school year video and suggested raising the topic with the parents, please do reach out. I would be happy to talk with you about the conversations I’ve had with my son, the signs we have made and books we've read, and the protest march he took part in this past weekend.


How would I know which parent you are? What are your kid's initials?


OP: How did you think that would land?

This way of asking, this sense of entitlement and self-centered questioning, indicates your worldview even more clearly “how would I know...?” vs “may I ask...” or “I would like to talk to you but I’m not sure...” And demanding “ID your kid” vs “was your child in a red shirt” or similar... it is really not helping your cause if you are really, truly thinking you are looking to open hearts and minds.

If you were truly interested in meeting your child’s friend’s parent as an equal in open discourse, I think your mindset would be different

I agree. OP, you come across as one of the most entitled, judgmental posters I've seen in a long time. What was your intention? Can we dialogue about this?

[Anonymous]

OP - Since you have raised the topic of my son's (and one other child's) contribution to the end-of-school year video and suggested raising the topic with the parents, please do reach out. I would be happy to talk with you about the conversations I’ve had with my son, the signs we have made and books we've read, and the protest march he took part in this past weekend.


How would I know which parent you are? What are your kid's initials?

Also, WTF are you reaching out to this family for at this point? They're expressed that their intention was not to glorify the police or thumb their nose at protests or Floyd. What more do you want from them?

[Anonymous]

OP - I totally get it. A child in my DD’s Pre-K class wanted to be a Marine. I made sure we never spoke to them again. We changed pre-schools, because I was afraid of the influence that this child could have in my child’s life. We ended up moving so we would never have to see this family. I also sent a private message to all the other parents, making them aware of the issue.. In our formal letter leaving the school, I made sure the director knew it was because of this child, and that the teacher was likely at fault for not stopping it. I recommended firing the teacher as well as not allowing that child’s family to enroll any other children in the school. I also made flyers and gave them to all their neighbors, as well as created a FB group for supporting other families traumatized by it. We couldn’t get out of there quick enough! I only pray that no damage was done to my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I totally get it. A child in my DD’s Pre-K class wanted to be a Marine. I made sure we never spoke to them again. We changed pre-schools, because I was afraid of the influence that this child could have in my child’s life. We ended up moving so we would never have to see this family. I also sent a private message to all the other parents, making them aware of the issue.. In our formal letter leaving the school, I made sure the director knew it was because of this child, and that the teacher was likely at fault for not stopping it. I recommended firing the teacher as well as not allowing that child’s family to enroll any other children in the school. I also made flyers and gave them to all their neighbors, as well as created a FB group for supporting other families traumatized by it. We couldn’t get out of there quick enough! I only pray that no damage was done to my child.

In our pre-K we had a child who wanted to be President! We ostracized the child and photoshopped both parents in illicit sexual acts, one with a barnyard animal, in order to completely stop that ambition in its tracks. We then sanitized the school and we are back to normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I totally get it. A child in my DD’s Pre-K class wanted to be a Marine. I made sure we never spoke to them again. We changed pre-schools, because I was afraid of the influence that this child could have in my child’s life. We ended up moving so we would never have to see this family. I also sent a private message to all the other parents, making them aware of the issue.. In our formal letter leaving the school, I made sure the director knew it was because of this child, and that the teacher was likely at fault for not stopping it. I recommended firing the teacher as well as not allowing that child’s family to enroll any other children in the school. I also made flyers and gave them to all their neighbors, as well as created a FB group for supporting other families traumatized by it. We couldn’t get out of there quick enough! I only pray that no damage was done to my child.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I totally get it. A child in my DD’s Pre-K class wanted to be a Marine. I made sure we never spoke to them again. We changed pre-schools, because I was afraid of the influence that this child could have in my child’s life. We ended up moving so we would never have to see this family. I also sent a private message to all the other parents, making them aware of the issue.. In our formal letter leaving the school, I made sure the director knew it was because of this child, and that the teacher was likely at fault for not stopping it. I recommended firing the teacher as well as not allowing that child’s family to enroll any other children in the school. I also made flyers and gave them to all their neighbors, as well as created a FB group for supporting other families traumatized by it. We couldn’t get out of there quick enough! I only pray that no damage was done to my child.

OP, here. Finally someone who gets it and understands where I am coming from.