I am loving quarantine, but no good way to admit it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Introverts need to just be more vocal about our needs. The rushing around, overscheduling, and work being thought of as a location and not an action, are all too stressful. So many days I would wake up with a feeling of dread of whatever I had to do that day. When this started, the next day I woke up and was happy for the first time in a long time that I had nothing I HAD to do.

Me too pp, me too. It feels good.
I mean, I'm still stressed about the circumstances, but I like staying at home and relaxing.

[Anonymous]

Those of you who find this relaxing - how old are your kids? Do you work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think "introvert" and "controlling" are getting conflated in this thread.

Agree, but only by a few posters it seems. I am an introvert and just like being able to do my own thing. I'm not trying to control others. If you read Quiet, you'll learn that introverts tend to care a lot less than others about what people think of them. The most controlling people I know seem to worry a lot about what others think and their controlling behavior is often geared toward shaping other's perceptions of their life.

[Anonymous]

I totally get you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who find this relaxing - how old are your kids? Do you work?

I do. My kids are 9 and 11 and I fully acknowledge that if they were toddlers and maybe even teenagers, this would be far more miserable for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First let me say, that I completely recognize how privileged and lucky I am to be in this position and feel very grateful. We are donating money to places helping those less fortunate in this downturn, supporting our local businesses, etc. I completely get that this is devastating for many people and businesses. Which does not negate that for me personally, I have been feeling at peace for weeks in a way I have not for years.

I am working full time as is my husband, and we have two kids, so we’re managing the online schooling, which has been challenging. We’re doing occasional virtual happy hours and keeping in touch with friends by text and phone. But the running around busy-ness and the social activities and the commuting and everything that drives me crazy is gone. I have time and patience, I’m being honest with friends if I just don’t feel like doing something social, I just decline and catch them next time instead of pushing myself into a bunch of stuff I don’t want to do. I’m doing activities I love in my house, playing games with the kids and catching up on housework.

My anxiety and light depression is gone - there’s no overwhelming choice of what I SHOULD be doing. I am release from the guilt of just doing what I want, which for the most part is a slow and simple life with the people I love. I buy only what I need and then don’t think about what I want. I’m not overwhelmed with social interaction. I’m very introverted and it exhausts me, but I feel pressured to go out and have fun and keep up with a bunch of friends.

I have had to have the same conversation with several friends and coworkers - “how are you holding up?” They’ll say and share their stories about how they miss regular life and they’re being driven up the walls and their kids won’t do their work, and I’m not overly honest, but generally say I’m surprised that I’m enjoying it so much. And it’s kind of a conversation killer. “You aren’t missing going out and hugging friends? Your kids aren’t driving you crazy?” No, they’re really not - I’m loving having so much time with them, helping them with work and watching them be creative in finding things to do. I almost feel pressure to be miserable and feel a lack of connection with my friends that I’m not sharing in their misery.

I went to be authentic in how I’m feeling and mostly, I want to continue this feeling to the degree possible when this over. I’m realizing no one else I know is feeling this way and it’s isolating but also worrisome - how do I not get sucked back into the busy busy busy extrovert thing that makes me so miserable in “regular” life.

Anyone else feeling this way? How will you hold on to some of these lessons learned from this period if so?

I think a lot of people feel this way, I do and I really can’t admit it because I’m a teacher, and the current narrative is that all teachers are at home crying and longing to go back to school to be with their students instead of feeling what pretty much any other type of worker would be feeling - that they lucked out to be able to receive their full salary for doing a small fraction of their normal work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First let me say, that I completely recognize how privileged and lucky I am to be in this position and feel very grateful. We are donating money to places helping those less fortunate in this downturn, supporting our local businesses, etc. I completely get that this is devastating for many people and businesses. Which does not negate that for me personally, I have been feeling at peace for weeks in a way I have not for years.

I am working full time as is my husband, and we have two kids, so we’re managing the online schooling, which has been challenging. We’re doing occasional virtual happy hours and keeping in touch with friends by text and phone. But the running around busy-ness and the social activities and the commuting and everything that drives me crazy is gone. I have time and patience, I’m being honest with friends if I just don’t feel like doing something social, I just decline and catch them next time instead of pushing myself into a bunch of stuff I don’t want to do. I’m doing activities I love in my house, playing games with the kids and catching up on housework.

My anxiety and light depression is gone - there’s no overwhelming choice of what I SHOULD be doing. I am release from the guilt of just doing what I want, which for the most part is a slow and simple life with the people I love. I buy only what I need and then don’t think about what I want. I’m not overwhelmed with social interaction. I’m very introverted and it exhausts me, but I feel pressured to go out and have fun and keep up with a bunch of friends.

I have had to have the same conversation with several friends and coworkers - “how are you holding up?” They’ll say and share their stories about how they miss regular life and they’re being driven up the walls and their kids won’t do their work, and I’m not overly honest, but generally say I’m surprised that I’m enjoying it so much. And it’s kind of a conversation killer. “You aren’t missing going out and hugging friends? Your kids aren’t driving you crazy?” No, they’re really not - I’m loving having so much time with them, helping them with work and watching them be creative in finding things to do. I almost feel pressure to be miserable and feel a lack of connection with my friends that I’m not sharing in their misery.

I went to be authentic in how I’m feeling and mostly, I want to continue this feeling to the degree possible when this over. I’m realizing no one else I know is feeling this way and it’s isolating but also worrisome - how do I not get sucked back into the busy busy busy extrovert thing that makes me so miserable in “regular” life.

Anyone else feeling this way? How will you hold on to some of these lessons learned from this period if so?

I think a lot of people feel this way, I do and I really can’t admit it because I’m a teacher, and the current narrative is that all teachers are at home crying and longing to go back to school to be with their students instead of feeling what pretty much any other type of worker would be feeling - that they lucked out to be able to receive their full salary for doing a small fraction of their normal work.

You're right PP. You should definitely not admit that.

[Anonymous]

Im absolutely loving this quarantine. It would be highly insensitive for me to admit this to anyone in real life. I hope we have to stay in until July 1st.

[Anonymous]

And just to add, PP teacher, I don’t know anyone except teachers who is getting full salary for doing little work. I know lots of people who have lost their jobs or are furloughed with no pay, and lots of people who are expected to do all their work (plus, if you work in my industry) from home while watching the kids, but just you getting paid to do nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who find this relaxing - how old are your kids? Do you work?

No kids, but work a lot. Several nights from 830am to 730pm and 930pm to 1am. Definitely less stressful putting in those hours without a commute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think "introvert" and "controlling" are getting conflated in this thread.

Agree, but only by a few posters it seems. I am an introvert and just like being able to do my own thing. I'm not trying to control others. If you read Quiet, you'll learn that introverts tend to care a lot less than others about what people think of them. The most controlling people I know seem to worry a lot about what others think and their controlling behavior is often geared toward shaping other's perceptions of their life.

I've read Quiet. However, I disagree with the idea that introverts are less likely to be controlling. The kind of controlling behavior you are talking about may indeed be more associated with extroverts (e.g., image-based control). But I think introverts are much more likely to be very controlling of their environment and by extension, the people who have to live in this environment. That's why I think some people who are enjoying this are actually just very controlling, particularly with respect to their kids. It's not nesting behavior, it's controlling behavior.

[Anonymous]

I am on page 2 and yes I can relate.
I was laid off. Yet I know I won’t starve to death and will even probably save with the increased UI benefits.
It is such a comfortable lockdown. We have running water, Internet, food, heck, even restaurant delivery! We can take walks outside.
Think about poor Indian workers having to walk to their villages, starving, some dying of exhaustion.
Read about this on BBC.
Think about people in Wuhan locked in their high rises, not able to go out at all.
Americans are so so soft.

[Anonymous]

And oh yes we know teachers are being paid while doing very little.
One of the teachers I know was off to Hawaii the next day they closed the schools. She had the audacity to post videos from there with fresh manicure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And just to add, PP teacher, I don’t know anyone except teachers who is getting full salary for doing little work. I know lots of people who have lost their jobs or are furloughed with no pay, and lots of people who are expected to do all their work (plus, if you work in my industry) from home while watching the kids, but just you getting paid to do nothing.

Will add one. I am a teacher and working more! I don’t understand these teachers who are not working. I’m logging 4-5 hours a day of live teaching while parenting a SN kid. And I’m talking self contained SN. If teachers are working less- then they are likely not doing much during the year either. The need is so high right now! How can you do nothing??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And just to add, PP teacher, I don’t know anyone except teachers who is getting full salary for doing little work. I know lots of people who have lost their jobs or are furloughed with no pay, and lots of people who are expected to do all their work (plus, if you work in my industry) from home while watching the kids, but just you getting paid to do nothing.

Everyone employed in the school system is getting their full pay and most of them are doing absolutely NO work at all. The majority of employees in a school system are NOT teachers, the numbers of administrative staff both in school and in central offices far outweigh the teachers and they aren’t doing jack sh**and neither are school nurses, librarians, counselors, cafeteria cooks, bus drivers, etc. But everyone forgets that and focuses on the teachers, who are at least doing some work during this time.