Rush at UVA

[Anonymous]

https://www.michigandaily.com/section/campus-life/letter-detailing-nationals-sanctioned-superficial-rush-process-unnamed-sorority

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t consider themselves mean girls. They think they are simply looking for girls “like them” that they “click” with and don’t understand how that is toxic as noted above. I think some are probably actually mean with how they select and rank. But most are probs just trying to pick the girls that the cute frats would want to mix with. In effect the boys really dictate who gets in. That’s a whole other issue!!!

Sororities look for grades first and leadership second. Then they look for women who fit with the group and who they would want as a friend. Who the boys want to mix with is way, way down on the list, if it's considered at all.

Like this? https://www.thecut.com/2013/04/greatest-sorority-freak-out-e-mail-ever.html

Oh come on. That's one stupid example of bad behavior.

But you don't care. You just want to paint everyone who participates in these organizations with the same brush and you obviously aren't open to learning from anyone whose experience was positive.

Not I. Many of my kids’ friends have had positive experiences in sororities at UVA and elsewhere. But you are straight up crazy/naive if you think that no sororities put a lot of emphasis on which young women will mix well with the guys in their favored fraternities.

Plus, that letter and situation are hysterical, even if (hopefully) not representative of most sororities.

[Anonymous]

True on more discreet! My friend who was a rush chair said they call it “better suited elsewhere” now.

[Anonymous]

Apparently having the look is critical after you join to get the best girls

https://jezebel.com/batshit-sorority-pledge-email-cannot-stress-how-importa-1679804927

[Anonymous]

It was very stressful for my DD but she was asked at the ones she wanted. Now very happy with her sorority and stayed all four years.
Many sociable older women I have met were also in sororities back in the day.
We all thought they were going out of style but no. Very popular now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was very stressful for my DD but she was asked at the ones she wanted. Now very happy with her sorority and stayed all four years.
Many sociable older women I have met were also in sororities back in the day.
We all thought they were going out of style but no. Very popular now.

Nationally there's been a steady decline in Greek enrollment over the past two decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was very stressful for my DD but she was asked at the ones she wanted. Now very happy with her sorority and stayed all four years.
Many sociable older women I have met were also in sororities back in the day.
We all thought they were going out of style but no. Very popular now.

Nationally there's been a steady decline in Greek enrollment over the past two decades.

I wonder how much of that is due to colleges abolishing Greek life vs kids choosing not to rush at schools where it is still available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I get that...which is why I was so happy that my child ruled out places where there was a heavy Greek presence on campus.

More and more places (at least in the Northeast) are banning them from campus or requiring all events to be open to all on campus.

If you read the scientific literature about Greek life on campuses...they can be really toxic and dangerous.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10485163
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24527968
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29447586

There are hundreds of such articles. This is not a stereotype...it is a problem.

Meh. I'm a libtard and my kids are more liberal than I am. I had two go to UVA, and they thought the guys there were total douchbags. But they both rushed and got into the same respected sorority and loved it. No harm done. To each her own.

What’s a “respected sorority”? Sounds like an oxymoron.
-DP

One that doesn't let just anybody in . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I get that...which is why I was so happy that my child ruled out places where there was a heavy Greek presence on campus.

More and more places (at least in the Northeast) are banning them from campus or requiring all events to be open to all on campus.

If you read the scientific literature about Greek life on campuses...they can be really toxic and dangerous.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10485163
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24527968
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29447586

There are hundreds of such articles. This is not a stereotype...it is a problem.

Meh. I'm a libtard and my kids are more liberal than I am. I had two go to UVA, and they thought the guys there were total douchbags. But they both rushed and got into the same respected sorority and loved it. No harm done. To each her own.

What’s a “respected sorority”? Sounds like an oxymoron.
-DP

She means not far or weird. LOL. Because her daughter is one of those mean girls, but she would never admit it.

You got me. That's why she joined the Peace Corps. Stereotype much? Jealous much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I get that...which is why I was so happy that my child ruled out places where there was a heavy Greek presence on campus.

More and more places (at least in the Northeast) are banning them from campus or requiring all events to be open to all on campus.

If you read the scientific literature about Greek life on campuses...they can be really toxic and dangerous.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10485163
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24527968
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29447586

There are hundreds of such articles. This is not a stereotype...it is a problem.

Meh. I'm a libtard and my kids are more liberal than I am. I had two go to UVA, and they thought the guys there were total douchbags. But they both rushed and got into the same respected sorority and loved it. No harm done. To each her own.

What’s a “respected sorority”? Sounds like an oxymoron.
-DP

She means not far or weird. LOL. Because her daughter is one of those mean girls, but she would never admit it.

You got me. That's why she joined the Peace Corps. Stereotype much? Jealous much?

Moms who use the phrase “Jealous much?” definitely tend to have the nicest kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I get that...which is why I was so happy that my child ruled out places where there was a heavy Greek presence on campus.

More and more places (at least in the Northeast) are banning them from campus or requiring all events to be open to all on campus.

If you read the scientific literature about Greek life on campuses...they can be really toxic and dangerous.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10485163
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24527968
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29447586

There are hundreds of such articles. This is not a stereotype...it is a problem.

Meh. I'm a libtard and my kids are more liberal than I am. I had two go to UVA, and they thought the guys there were total douchbags. But they both rushed and got into the same respected sorority and loved it. No harm done. To each her own.

What’s a “respected sorority”? Sounds like an oxymoron.
-DP

She means not far or weird. LOL. Because her daughter is one of those mean girls, but she would never admit it.

You got me. That's why she joined the Peace Corps. Stereotype much? Jealous much?

NP: The assumption of jealousy is a bit of a "tell" for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was very stressful for my DD but she was asked at the ones she wanted. Now very happy with her sorority and stayed all four years.
Many sociable older women I have met were also in sororities back in the day.
We all thought they were going out of style but no. Very popular now.

Nationally there's been a steady decline in Greek enrollment over the past two decades.

I wonder how much of that is due to colleges abolishing Greek life vs kids choosing not to rush at schools where it is still available.

Nope, the numbers are based on recruitment within schools that still have chapters. The national conversation/reputation though is likely impacting that. Also, college policies are more strict towards them which may have a dampening effect. Retention rates are higher though. So fewer people are rushing, but those that do tend accept the bid and matriculate in the org.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For many schools it’s the way social life is structured. Eg huge groups of girls and boys sit in a section at football and on the weekends have huge events with other Greek organizations. Then they go on spring break and stay in big houses together. They have sports competitions with other houses and do charity events. If you don’t get involved it can be hard to socialize on some campuses. Now if no one did it that’s one thing. But if all the social people do it at your school you feel like you have to join or won’t have a social life.

And this is why I deliberately chose a college with no Greek system at all. Everyone sat with one another at games, socialized with everyone, and went to any and all parties. So much more fun.

Maybe your memories are a little rosy? I went to schools without Greek life and certain clubs operated like just like frats.

There will always be cliques and a social hierarchy. In the absence of Greek letters, clubs take that place. I was in the most prestigious club at my school and while I love the immediate connection I have when I meet someone who was in that club regardless of their age, I realize that we operated like a fraternity, though we were co-ed.

Uh, no. My memories are crystal clear. My school did not have the (social) clubs you appear to be referring to, which do indeed operate like frats/sororities (sounds like the Eating Clubs at Princeton, etc.). Again, there was no social hierarchy at all at my SLAC. It was a smallish school and by and large, everyone got to know everyone else eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to see how real sorority girls discuss picking girls look no further than this site

https://www.greekrank.com/uni/91/topic/1833392/alpha-phi-recruiting-process-exposed/

I get that some posters are not at competitive or traditional Greek schools but yes this really happens still

Eg
“...found out that my chapter recruits girls from certain high schools. I think that's even more shallow and arbitrary than recruiting girls who are cute. Why does it matter what high school she went to? Because you want to get more girls from that high school? Why? Money? Status? So it's easier to get more girls from that area the next year? How is that any different? It's kind of arbitrary and shallow. And the girl has like zero control over that. It's just based on her parents and where they live!
Well isn't that why some groups recruit for looks? Because maybe they can't get the girls from those high schools so they have to find their own way to compete and they want to get more girls who are cute so they can get mixers and guys will talk about how great their chapter is to their friends! It's a snowball thing.”

“...95% of girls who go through recruitment are self-selected high achievers with tons of leadership, diverse interests, talents, poise, etc. So really the only obvious difference from one house to the next is their "popularity" factor among boys and attractiveness. Every group has great girls. But it's hard to deny that the "top" groups are usually either really hot or come from affluent super well-connected families. At least here at Bama. I think she just didn't like it when she saw the curtain peeled back. But the processes used now are way more discreet...”

Barf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For many schools it’s the way social life is structured. Eg huge groups of girls and boys sit in a section at football and on the weekends have huge events with other Greek organizations. Then they go on spring break and stay in big houses together. They have sports competitions with other houses and do charity events. If you don’t get involved it can be hard to socialize on some campuses. Now if no one did it that’s one thing. But if all the social people do it at your school you feel like you have to join or won’t have a social life.

And this is why I deliberately chose a college with no Greek system at all. Everyone sat with one another at games, socialized with everyone, and went to any and all parties. So much more fun.

Maybe your memories are a little rosy? I went to schools without Greek life and certain clubs operated like just like frats.

There will always be cliques and a social hierarchy. In the absence of Greek letters, clubs take that place. I was in the most prestigious club at my school and while I love the immediate connection I have when I meet someone who was in that club regardless of their age, I realize that we operated like a fraternity, though we were co-ed.

Uh, no. My memories are crystal clear. My school did not have the (social) clubs you appear to be referring to, which do indeed operate like frats/sororities (sounds like the Eating Clubs at Princeton, etc.). Again, there was no social hierarchy at all at my SLAC. It was a smallish school and by and large, everyone got to know everyone else eventually.

I'm PP. At my school, those clubs were the newspaper, student council, tour guides and the arts programming board. No eating clubs. ~3500 students.

There are always cliques. There's always a hierarchy.